21:15
"Ms. Muffet, didn't expected to see a dame like yourself in a dime like this!"
The aforementioned arachnid woman snickered at Papyrus' response to her presence, her tiny lips curved into a smile. Not because he was wrong, but because he was right. What with her shimmering, burgundy, sequin dress (with matching coin purse) and white fur jacket, she stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the lower to middle class patrons. Hardly the kinda person you'd see hanging around Snowdin, especially at this hour.
"Aw, Paperust, you always know how to make me blush." she commented, two of her five eyes winking at the mispronounced skeleton.
"Papyrus-" he attempted to correct her.
"Mind if I join you two?" the spider girl asked, sitting down before they could even garner an answer.
"No, please, by all means." Sans answered disingenuously, seeing that it wouldn't have made any difference either way. Grillby happened to be passing by the two skeletons' booth again when he laid eyes on Ms. Muffet, an apparent distrust for her being present.
"Grillby, darlin', how about makin' lil' Ms. Muffet a Bloody Mary, extra bloody?" Muffet requested, giving him a cutesy expression. Grillby remained silent, looking to Sans for some direction. The smirking skeleton just gave him a slight nod, assuring him that the situation was being handled.
"Coming right up." the fire man agreed reluctantly, ready to leave to make her drink.
"On the house, right?" the sly spider giggled confidently. Grillbz clearly wasn't too keen about this woman, and she knew it.
"On us." the red clad skeleton claimed, trying to ease some of the tension between the two. For the flaming man, it did little to help, but he was still appreciative of their effort. He left to make the drink, leaving them to talk.
"Such gentlemen," the elegant arachnid commented, almost sounding flirtatious, "Your mother must be so proud." Her charm failed on the two, them knowing better than to trust her. Still, they weren't ones to turn down a possible business opportunity, so they played nice.
"What brings ya to Snowdin?" Sans asked, knowing that they needed to make this quick. They could only stall her for so long before she spied the human they had stashed under the table.
"Oh, I was just on my way to pick up some donations in the Ruins," she explained, one of her six arms pulling a cigarette holder from her purse, "Thought I'd stop in and have a drink." She lit the cigarette with one of her others hands with a Zippo lighter, seeming to purposefully blow the smoke in their faces.
"Lotta empty seats here to choose from," Papyrus pointed out, knowing that it was more than drinks that she was after, "Any particular reason you sat with us? Besides my dashing good looks?"
"Goodness, ya caught me," Muffet faked a surprised gasp, before tickling the overconfident skeleton under the chin seductively, "You lured me in like a moth to a flame."
"See that, Sans," the slender bones remarked, nudging his brother with his elbow cheekily, "Another damsel wooed by the God-sculpted masterpiece that is the Great Papyrus!"
"You're a real heartbreaker, brotha'," the funny bones said, but wasn't buying into her game, "But I think our lady friend here is lookin' for more than a 'boning'."
Frisk desperately tried to suppress her laughter, having been caught off-guard by another one of his amazing jokes.
"Oh my god, you really just said that." Papyrus responded, an almost emptiness to his reaction. At that point, he'd realized that he'd lost any control of the conversation, having been completely humiliated by his brother's crudeness. Muffet herself only snickered at Sans' clever wording.
Frisk watched as the crossed legs in front of her uncrossed themselves. The dress this "Muffet" woman wore only went down to her mid thighs, giving more of a view of her choice of undergarments to the human that she remained clueless to. Feeling somewhat perverted for having caught a peek, she quickly adverted her gaze elsewhere.
"Or truthfully, I'm just lookin' to get 'crossboned'." the enchanting spider purred, one of her other hands caressing Sans' cheekbone.
"O-kay, now this is just gettin' weird!" Frisk had a minor panic attack, not liking where this was going.
"Your drink." Grillby chimed in, having returned to the table. He sat the glass containing the dark red liquid down next to Muffet, who withdrew her hands away from the skeletons.
"Oh, yummy!" she cheered giddily, taking a sip.
"Thank you, Grillby." Frisk sighed internally, relieved that the innuendos had stopped for the moment.
"Thank you, Grillby, that'll be all." Ms. Muffet dismissed the bartender, who reluctantly obeyed, "So, boys, how about helpin' me scratch this itch of mine?"
"Yeah," Sans chuckled, "No."
"What?" the seductress responded, not expecting that answer.
"I have to agree with my brother on this one," Papyrus reasoned, pulling his scarf down to left his neck bone breathe, "If the Great Papyrus isn't enough to quench your thirst, then perhaps you should try another well." The six-armed woman didn't take too kindle to their rejection, seeing that she was of such higher standard than the two lowlifes. Here she was, offering them a once in a life time experience to sample some of the goods, and they turned their nose up at her.
"How 'bout ya stop pullin' our legs and start tellin' us what you're really doin' here?" Sans suggested, growing tired of this facade.
"Fine," Muffet scoffed, her sweet expression shifting more towards sour, "I was hoping to buy you two out of your share of Grillby's."
"Buy us out?" Papyrus questioned.
"Sounds to me like your method was more rubbin' than buyin'," the grinning skull noted.
"True, I had hoped that I could settle the deal without having to spend a cent, but money talks," she sighed, "So, name your price."
"Zero." Sans answered.
"Sans, what are you doin'," Papyrus scolded him, "You can't sell our shares for nothin'!"
"No, I mean 'zero', as in we're not sellin'." the shorter bones clarified. Muffet didn't seem too pleased by that answer, what with how one of her eyes was twitching.
"Oh?" she inquired, her lips contorting into a smile.
"Ya see, this joint's the only way we can make an honest livin'," Sans continued, "We sell that, and we ain't got nothin' left."
"Those are double negatives." Paps corrected him.
"Not to mention, Grillbz doesn't seem too keen with the idea of being associated with you," the comic explained further, "So, forgive us, but no thanks."
Although she tried to look away from the mysterious woman's undergarments, Frisk's attention was drawn to the coin purse that sat upon her lap. Two of her hands that were concealed beneath the table happened to be digging through it, suspiciously attempting to remain quiet. It didn't take her long to realize what was going on once the two hands emerged from the purse, each armed with a miniature pistol aimed at the two skelebrothers.
"Oh, I know how that goes," she heard Ms. Muffet reply, "Makin' an honest livin' isn't easy nowadays, what with so many stingy people." Knowing that things we're not going to end well if she didn't intervene, her mind raced to figure out a way to warn her new partners of the impending danger. If she spoke up, she'd shoot them before they could respond. If she went for the guns, there's a good chance she'd get shot in the process. Time was running out, and she had to work fast.
"You insinuatin' somethin'?" Papyrus demanded to know, as her words seemed to be targeting them.
"Sounds to me like she's callin' us stingy, brotha'." Sans gave his opinion, before he felt something running along his femur through his pants.
"I'm willin' to offer you a very fair price for your shares, more than enough for you two to retire comfortably," the spider explained herself professionally, "And yet, it's not enough."
"G-U-N, G-U-N!" Frisk screamed in her head, as she repeatedly wrote the letters in that order on the skeleton's leg with her finger.
The blue suited skelepun recognized that this was some kind of code that the human was trying to communicate with, and his mind went to work deciphering it. "Swirl, horseshoe, zigzag?" he pondered, trying to make sense of it.
"So, I have another proposition for you," the arachnid mistress proposed, resting her chin on her folded hands, "Hand over your shares, and you can continue working for me."
"G," Sans thought, finally realizing they must have been letters, "U-" The two white pupils that shined from his eye sockets vanished, replaced by a single blue iris that burned brightly in the left socket. He got the message.
"How's that sound," Muffet asked, having not noticed the alterations with Sans' eyes, "We have a deal?" Papyrus was about to answer her with a 'no', but was cut off by his smaller brother speaking some unknown dialect. "Beg pardon?" their guest questioned, not comprehending what he'd spoken. However, Paps understood him, and that's why the two brothers drew their own firearms beneath the table as well.
Frisk's head only sunk down towards the floor, realizing she was trapped in the middle of a possibly shoot out.
"I said, what happens if we say no," the smiling skeleton replied, his eye glowing brighter, "Ya gonna use them pea shooters on us?" Muffet was shocked to discover she'd been figured out, but tried to play it cool.
"Pea shooters," she repeated questioningly, "I've no idea what you're talkin' about."
"The one's ya got pointed at us right now," Papyrus insisted, "The ones under the table."
She didn't know how they did it, but they'd uncovered her leverage and no doubt had their own to counter it. "Seems to me we've reached a stalemate." Paps spoke what they all must've been thinking.
"Seems we have." the spider lady agreed, brushing a few stray hairs from her face.
"Here's the deal," Sans began, "You're gonna put your guns away and skitter back to whatever hole you came from."
"It must've been a pleasant one, given your overall demeanor." Papyrus commented.
"Who says you're in any position to be demanding anything," Muffet scoffed, "Last I checked, I have just as many guns as you."
"With one more pointed at you than either of us do." the prideful skeleton added, smirking. Those odds concerned the six-armed dame, but she was quite cunning and crafty when it came to sticky situations.
"Well then, I guess you'll just have to grease me, boys." she sighed, taking another drag of her cigarette. Her purple eyes scanned the diner, locking onto the burning man cleaning a glass behind the bar.
"If that's your final answer." Sans said, shrugging.
Frisk covered her ears, knowing that things were about to get really loud.
"Oh, but before you do that," Muffet held up a finger, her guns now aimed at Grillby, "You might wanna say goodbye to 'hot stuff' over there." That struck a cord with the two brothers.
"Leave him outta this!" Sans warned a bit of malice in his tone.
"Or what," Muffet taunted, a cackle in her voice, "You'll shoot me? Go ahead, it won't save your buddy!" Both skeletons had their fingers on the triggers of their guns, ready to squeeze at a drop of a hat. However, inner conflict was stirred up in them, realizing the risk of following through. Sans glanced at Papyrus, and Papyrus glanced back and sighed. They simultaneously eased their fingers off the triggers, knowing that the spider had made checkmate. A sadistic grin came across her face.
Frisk glanced up to see the two skeletons setting their guns down beside them and bringing their hands over the table, clearly having been defeated. That spelled bad news for them, as well as her.
"And here it could've all been so simple," Ms. Muffet informed, taking a slow sip of her drink, "Just do what I say, and take the money."
"Ya should know that nothin's simple with us." the comic remarked, his eyes having returned to normal.
"Sans, if ever there was a time ya should stop talkin', it'd be now." Papyrus advised, not wanting to eliminate any possibility of escape.
"Can I just say one more thing before you do what ya gotta do?" his brother requested.
"By all means." Muffet agreed, grinning triumphantly. She expected him to beg, plead for mercy for his and his brother's pathetic lives. But, knowing him, it was likely to be another one of his stupid puns. Neither mattered, the final result would be the same: two piles of bones for the dogs to fight over.
"Hey, Undyne, how's it goin'?" Sans greeted an approaching patron. The spider lady's blood ran cold, spotting the navy blue clad woman out of the corner of her eyes.
"Boys," the aquatic woman greeted the two skelebrothers casually, her eye turning to Muffet, "Ms. Muffet, awful long way from Hotland." Intimidation radiated from the red haired, one eyed, fish gal, who waved the smoke from Muffet's cigarette out of her face. Muffet was quick to extinguish the cigarette in her drink, not wanting to offend the larger monster.
"I was just handling some business in the Ruins, and stopped in for a drink." she explained, smiling nervously. She glanced over at the two brothers, who were smirking confidently. Though, Sans was always like that, so it was harder for her to tell with him.
"She actually just made us an offer to buy us out." Papyrus informed, winking at Muffet, whose heart raced in response.
"Oh really?" Undyne asked, rather suspicious of the arachnid.
"But, after discussing it a bit, Ms. Muffet decided that Grillby's wasn't what she was lookin' for," Sans continued, "Right?" Muffet knew the tables had been turned and now the ball was in their court. Preferring the option where she'd walk out of there in one piece, she decided to play along.
"The location is good for traffic, but the consumer market isn't right for it," she explained, slipping the hidden pistols back into her coin purse, "Guess I'll just have to try elsewhere."
"Probably for the best," Undyne commented, turning and sitting on the edge of the table, "Would've hated to see this place go. The ol' man used to bring me here when I was a guppy."
"Well, I better get goin'," Muffet insisted anxiously, trying to scoot her way out of the booth, "It's gettin' late, and my employees are probably wonderin' where I am."
"Before ya go," the fish monster stopped her with an arm stretched out in her path, "It's a good thing I caught ya here, it'll save me a trip. I'm gonna need yer tribute for this month."
"Why, of course," she responded timidly, two of her hands opening her coin purse again, "And how is Mr. Dreemurr these days?"
"Mindin' his own business," Undyne answered, clearly not in the mood for small talk, "Ya should probably do the same."
"Duly noted," the spider mistress agreed, pulling a small bundled up sack from her purse and handing it to the opposing monster, "Now, if you'll excuse me."
"No problem, I'll walk you out." the other woman added, standing from his sitting position. Ms. Muffet was certainly not going to object to her offer, fearing any consequences that would come of it. "Later, boneheads." Undyne bid the two farewell.
"Good evenin', Undyne!" Papyrus returned.
"Later!" Sans added.
"Au revoir, squelettes!" Muffet waved, peering back with a spiteful expression on her face.
The human watched as the fish lady escorted the spider lady away from their table, stopping at the table where the pack of dogs sat.
"Hey, fleabags!" Undyne roared, causing the whole establishment to fall silent. The dogs seemed to cower at her voice, whimpering rather audibly. "Get yer furry asses up, we got work to do!" she ordered. The five dogs scrambled to the their feet and scampered at the door, their superior and Muffet following behind. Seeing that the situation had finally been defused, a great sigh of relief left Frisk's lungs.