I'm Hurting All The Same

Darcy's original plans for Thanksgiving were to watch shitty movies and watch Rice Krispies. She had no problem with this plan – it wouldn't be much different to the previous year's – but Sara Del Rey was not going to let that happen. After much persuading, Darcy gave in.

"You really didn't have to invite me," Darcy said as the door opened, picking at the tape around her hands – her knuckles were still healing and she couldn't risk opening up the scabs. She blinked once when she realised that Sara wasn't standing in front of her. "Sara Del Rey?"

"My wife," the man explained and Darcy was taken aback. That she didn't know. "I'm Ben."

"Darcy," she extended her hand to meet his before she was welcomed into the house.

It was a nice house, she noticed immediately. Sara hadn't been in Florida long but the house already looked homely and inviting. It was a definite contrast to Jon's shitty one bedroom house with no knick knacks.

Wrestling talk was off the cards for the day. Sara was adamant that the holiday be an actual holiday and, despite wrestling being one of the most important aspects of her life, even she needed a break.

As they ate, Darcy was asked question after question and she felt a little confronted. She shouldn't have been surprised because Sara and Ben knew everything about each other and little, if anything about Darcy, and she was never really one to ask questions.

"You've done a fair bit for someone so young," Ben commented and Darcy lifted her head, ready to shrug at him. "Did you go to college?"

She stopped before she could shrug and nodded, "It was a 2 year community college but I got my associate degree. I was going to apply to 4 year college but cheer and wrestling..."

"What did you study?"

"Sport Management and I hated every day of it."

"Why'd you do it, then?" Sara asked, laughing lightly at Darcy's bluntness.

"I was told I'd never get into a college so I said fuck 'em and went about doing it."

"Can't argue with that," Ben nodded with a genuine smile on his face.

Darcy smiled, too. It was nice to be accepted, to have people be genuinely interested in what she had to say. It was becoming more common that people engaged her in a genuine conversation and she had deduced that as she got older people were more accepting, less likely to judge instantly – or they were at least willing to try to get to know people.

On her way back from the bathroom, Darcy saw something that caught her eye: a spare bedroom. Immediately she had an idea.

"Hey, Sara?" she asked as she stepped into the kitchen. She picked up a tea towel and began to dry the dishes. It was really the least she could do after the meal Sara had cooked.

"Yeah?"

"You have a spare bedroom..."

"Preparing for a family," she said with a smile. "It's not in the near future but it's never too early to be ready."

Darcy nodded, "Yeah. I don't know how to ask this but, uh, I bought my own place but I was just wondering if I could maybe use your spare room while I wait for it to settle?"

"Is everything okay with Ambrose?" Sara asked with a voice full of concern as she turned around. Darcy was taken aback and was a split second away from spilling everything before she regained control of her thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah," she lied quickly. "I just feel like I've overstayed my welcome. I'd pay rent and help out around the house-"

"I don't see why not. I'll talk to Ben about it and get back to you okay?"

The search for a house had finished the day it started. She was going to rent a three bedroom house and she knew full well that she was going to require roommates - she had no idea who but that she could sort out later. The most important thing to her was that she get out of Jon's house.

Maybe it was an overreaction but she was old enough and had been through enough to not stick around if people didn't want her.

She'd overheard a few people talking about 'the boys' having returned from their first shows on the main roster. It would be a lie if she said she wasn't at least a little excited but she was also nervous and angry; the emotions were causing her hands to shake by her sides and her stomach to churn.

Walking towards the commotion, she was able to distinctly hear the voice of Joe Anoai'i and if she listened close enough she could pick up Colby's but she couldn't hear Jon's at all. She poked her head around the corner, more eagerly than she cared to admit, and her heart dropped when she saw only two of the latest main roster additions.

"Harlequin!"

Her head shot up at the nickname and she couldn't help but smile at Colby; he was radiating happiness.

"NXT Champ and on the main roster?" Darcy asked rhetorically, walking towards them with her arms crossed. "Save something for someone else, would you?"

"I'm keeping it warm until they give it to you," he told her with a shit eating grin, Darcy, now beside him, bumped her hip into his – his upper leg, anyway – with as much force as she could muster. She barely caused him to step sidewards.

She asked him about the main roster but only half listened to the answers she was receiving. Her eyes searched the room – she tried to be casual about it – for any sign that Jon might have come back. Nothing at all suggested that he was there.

"That sounds really fantastic," she said to Colby as she looked back to him. "How was your Thanksgiving?"

"It was nothing exciting – what the hell did you do to your hands?" he asked, pulling her hands from her sides to inspect them. She tried to tug them back, he let one go but held onto the other and began to peel away the bandage slowly.

"I went a little too hard on the punching bag," she said harshly. "Can I have my hand back?"

"How did it get this bad?"

"I was angry."

"Do I need to kick Ambrose's ass?"

Darcy noticed that his grip had slacked and she ripped her hand back, folding her arms.

Her answer was curt and paired with a steely gaze, "No."

Colby only stared at her in disbelief. She stared back up at him, daring him to push her. He didn't take the bait. She knew that he wouldn't.

"What did you do for Thanksgiving?" he asked, walking them away from the centre of the room.

"Sara invited me over so I spent it with her and her husband," she responded casually, looking at all the people who were crowding around Roman. She breathed out a laugh at all the attention he was getting – he'd have to get used to it now that he was big time.

"Really? That was nice of her."

"Yeah..." Darcy agreed as she took a deep breath and made the split second decision to ask him for some help. "So, can I ask you a favour?" She received a nod. "Can you drive me home later and then drive me to Sara's?"

"I can do that for you. Why are you going over there for? You just spent Thanksgiving with them."

"Um," she paused and again began to pick at her wrapped hands. "I'm moving in with her."

Colby turned his entire body so that he was directly in front of her. She took a step backwards so that he wasn't so close but it did little to change the sudden rush of fear that ran through her body.

"Don't worry about it," she said quickly, stepping sidewards and beginning to walk away from him. "I'll ask Ashley."

He lightly ordered, noticing the change in her behaviour, "Come back here."

She froze with her back to him. It was stupid and she knew it, that she was feeling any sort of fear because of Colby. Irrational as it was, she couldn't shake it.

"You told me you were okay."

"I am okay." She was speaking through gritted teeth and it wasn't convincing but she was going to try. "Honestly, I just want to stay somewhere else until my new place settles."

"Your new place?" He asked her. He didn't want to drop the way she had reacted to him – heaven knows that that was something they needed to talk about – but what she had followed with was entirely unexpected.

"I'm going to rent a house." She shrugged at him and he looked utterly shocked at the words that had come from her mouth. "I know I haven't said anything but I need to do this."

He wiped a hand over his face in exasperation.

"I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, Darcy. You're an adult and deserve to be treated like one-" Jon doesn't seem to think so. "- but this just seems a little rushed, don't you think?"

"You know that I've been meaning to find my own place for ages and couches are really getting old. If I want to get anywhere I kind of need a proper bed or it'll fuck my back up."

Colby nodded, though he clearly didn't believe what she was saying. She had a feeling that he would be quick to tell Jon about her sudden plans and that it would only make him start to ask more questions about their sudden lack of communication but that wasn't something she would worry about.

Their discussion about the fear that ran through her body, across her face and her eyes was taken to her usual smoking area. She pulled a cigarette and her lighter from her sports bra and lit it, ignoring Colby's grunt of disapproval.

Her immediate response was to deny that she was afraid but he quashed that plan within seconds. She repeated numerous times that she didn't know why she had flinched away from him though she knew that she wasn't over what Harry had done and she wasn't sure if she ever would be.

"I don't want it to affect me but I don't have any control over that."

"No one is expecting you to," he said quietly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and hugging her to him. She pulled a face at the close contact but let it go almost immediately when she realised that it was definitely making her feel better. "You need to talk to someone about it."

"No I don't. I can deal with it myself."

I can deal with everything myself.