Seireitei News: Special Edition

Editor: Shuhei Hisagi

Sub Editor(s): Nanao Ise & Rangiku Matsumoto

Shinigami Hottest Cold Couple

Yesterday things seemed to heat up between two very prominent Shinigami who have now found themselves in the centre of a scandal. Lieutenant Rukia Kuchiki of the 13th division and Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of the 10th division both found themselves being subject to something terrible; each other. What's worse? They enjoyed it.

The two young Shinigami were granted access to the living world for a date that would then lead onto some sultry actions to follow. After skating on ice and sharing a bond over a mutual elemental zanpakuto they made their way to a restaurant where they would proceed to eat everything on the menu. Rukia's appetite may surprise our readers given her tiny slight frame but appears to be normal for the Kuchiki noblewoman who was also seen eating the same amount of food at a function just a week before.

They then ran into Ichigo Kurosaki the Substitute Soul Reaper before brutally attacking him and leaving him on the street.
'She was all over him,' Ichigo told us, 'she was kissing his neck and he had his hands on her thighs as she rode him.'

This news comes as a startling shock to Captain Byakuya Kuchiki, Rukia's older brother who would not give a statement about their growing relationship. The people most surprised however were the students of the Shinigami Academy where the Captain and Lieutenant met after their date to give a demonstration of their bankai to all the students. It seemed the academy was preparing its students for the possible bodily changes that can result as part of the release of a bankai or shikai but the demonstration turned dangerous after Toshiro Hitsugaya's bankai release in its mature form caused some stirrings in the young Kuchiki's reiatsu. The reiatsu release of two zanpakuto with similar elements or shared techniques results in something called 'Seishin-tekina tsunagari' which is a spiritual bond shared through the mutual understanding or links between souls.

In the case of Rukia Kuchiki and Toshiro Hitsugaya the Seishin-tekina tsunagari was too much to bear and after nearly destroying the academy they left swiftly. The head trainer of the school stated that they had to usher the students back inside because of the force of the combined reiatsu. After this event the two were last seen making their way swiftly to the 10th division headquarters. From there we lost sight of them but their reiatsu went off like a spiritual bomb alerting everyone in the Seireitei to their actions. What would cause a Captain and Lieutenant to lose control of their spiritual pressure like that while inside a home together at night?

It is understood that the two are unaware that the whole of the Seireitei felt the effects of their love making and when they emerge today it will likely come as a surprise to them.
So the question on everyone's minds this morning; was this just a one night stand? Are they going to continue seeing each other? Will the SWA ever get a thank you for being the first to initiate intimate contact between the two when they were locked in a chamber together? The investigation is still ongoing…

...

Toshiro frowned and opened his mouth to speak but no words formed. "…the whole of the Seireitei felt the effects of their love making…" Well, that certainly explained the weird behaviour from his squad members that morning; everyone stopped congratulate him and pat him on the back, all with wide encouraging smiles. Of course, he hadn't known what they'd been congratulating him for since he hadn't expected them all to actually feel his intimacy with Rukia.

The prodigy glanced up at his troublesome lieutenant who beamed at him from the other side of his desk; the newspaper was opened between them.

"Isn't this great, Captain?" Rangiku giggled, "Now everyone knows you're straight!"

Toshiro's frown deepened, "That's not-"

"And everyone knows you're with Rukia so they won't try and hit on her."

"Who hits on her?"

"And the best part is that you guys will be the new power couple around here!"

"Power couple?"

"Captain," Rangiku sung, "You're a celebrity now!"

Toshiro rolled his eyes; of course Rangiku thought selling out his and Rukia's privacy was a good thing; as his lieutenant, his fame equalled her fame, and that's why she'd helped write this terrible edition of the Seireitei News. To be fair, once the initial embarrassment had worn off, the Squad Ten captain was feeling rather good about it, or at the very least, not as angry as he would normally be. Maybe it was because now it seemed he and Rukia were an official couple? Or maybe it was because he'd just had sex with the most beautiful female soul reaper to ever exist? Or maybe it was because – okay no, it was the sex thing.

Picking up the newspaper, Toshiro flicked through the pages; literally every story was about him or Rukia. There were opinion pieces, comic strips, photos from the date… Toshiro glared up at Rangiku who was still grinning madly – she'd definitely taken these photographs. There was even a series of pictures from the perfect throw they'd done while ice skating and the young genius had to suppress the smug feeling growing in his chest. It did look pretty cool.

There was another page about Rukia's fashion, titled 'How to dress like Rukia'. There were pictures of her in various outfits, including the date outfit and her stunning kimono from the feast, and under each was the brand and price of each item of clothing and where to buy them. They also included a step-by-step guide on how to style hair like Rukia's on the night of the feast. Toshiro rolled his eyes; they even included information on where to by violet-coloured contacts so women could get Rukia's eyes.

He flicked over a few more pages and found the quiz section. Toshiro blanched when he saw a quiz titled 'How well do you know Captain Hitsugaya?' where question one was 'How many girls has Hitsugaya kissed before Rukia Kuchiki?' The prodigy's eyes flicked to the corner of the page for the answers and groaned when the truthful answer of 'zero' was written in tiny black ink.

"Was that really necessary?" Toshiro glared at Rangiku again.

The busty blonde grinned, "I wouldn't have known if you didn't tell Rukia."

"You were eavesdropping too?!"

"Only a little bit," She giggled, "Go to page sixteen! I did an interview on your behalf!"

Clenching his jaw and hurriedly skipping to page sixteen, Toshiro found the aforementioned interview. There was a picture of Rangiku – which she had clearly taken of herself – and in the background, the white haired captain was asleep at his desk with ink all over his face. A dull throbbing pain settled in Toshiro's skull. His eyes moved down to the interview.

Rangiku, you and your captain are said to be the closest captain-lieutenant team out of all thirteen divisions. Is this true?
Of course it is! My captain and I are so close, we're practically family.

What can you tell us about his real personality? What is he like behind closed doors?
Well, everyone thinks he is a cold hearted robot, but in reality, he is such a little sweetheart! He's really adorable and cute. He also loves cuddles! That was why I was so shocked to realise how much he'd grown up since I found him wandering helplessly around Junrinan.

"Matsumoto…"

"Shhh, keep reading," Rangiku giggled, "It gets better!"

How do you feel about his new relationship with Rukia Kuchiki, or as we now know them as, 'HitsuRuki'?
I'm really happy for him! In fact, it was my idea in the first place to lock them in that chamber. I think it's really paid off, I just hope I get a thank you for my efforts.

We have received reports that you knew he was straight, even before his interest in Rukia; would you care to explain how you knew about his sexuality?
It all started when I was looking in his bedroom for some reports and I discovered a certain magazine that I had seen once in the human world. It was full of pictures of naked women and tips for sex. My poor captain was so embarrassed, he even tried to blame it on our Head Captain.

"MATSUMOTO!"

"Keep reading!"

Captain Hitsugaya has a dirty magazine?!
No, of course not! I'm only joking! To answer the question of how I knew he was straight, let's just say 'women's intuition', and of course, how could any man have me for a lieutenant and be gay?

Rolling his eyes and sighing, Toshiro hoped that the cover up would be enough to sway people from the truth.

"You're not very angry, Captain," Rangiku smiled at him, "I thought you might have been really mad at me."

"I am mad at you," Toshiro grumbled, turning the page over to find a series of short-people jokes at his and Rukia's expense.

"Barely."

"Do you want me to be angrier?" the prodigy glared.

"No, of course not," Rangiku chuckled, "I'm just happy that Rukia has managed to relax you. It's a nice change."

Ignoring her, he continued to go through the magazine and stopped when he found 'HitsuRuki; a Fan Art Collection.' Drawings, paintings, and means of 'art' all depicting Toshiro and Rukia together, ranging from sickly sweet and romantic to very suggestive, and almost borderline pornography. The captain was surprised the newspaper had managed to get so many submissions in overnight, but as he looked down at the artists, he noticed most of them were SWA members. Most of the artwork was terrible, but some of it was kind of hot; Toshiro made a note to keep this copy of the Seireitei News.

In all honestly, he was nowhere near as furious as he should have been. He just couldn't bring himself to be that angry, especially not when he was in such a good mood from the night before. Even waking up had been fantastic; Rukia had looked so peaceful and cute asleep, he'd tried not wake her up. He'd managed to get as far as pulling on his kosode and had his hakama pants up to his mid thighs when he'd turned around to look for his obi but instead was greeted with the all too sexy image of Rukia's ass. It was mostly covered by a thin sheet but Toshiro knew what was under the cover. The way her back curved in bed, almost pronouncing her shape, was beyond sexy. He didn't know how long he'd been staring when Rukia awoke, her mouth twitching smugly when he still couldn't take his eyes off her. She hadn't even said anything, just making a small gesture with her hand to beckon him back to her side and Toshiro was there instantly, clothes sliding back off as he slid under the sheet beside her.

"You're smitten," Rangiku teased, poking Toshiro's cheek and the prodigy realised he'd been smiling for seemingly no reason at all.

Toshiro scoffed but his face was on fire and Rangiku began to swoon. She leant down to kiss him on the cheek before dancing around the office and towards the door.

"I can't wait to tell the SWA!" she chirped excitedly.

"Just one thing before you go, Matsumoto," Toshiro called causing Rangiku to look over her shoulder questioningly. The prodigy lifted the newspaper off the desk and retrieved the envelope sitting beneath it. He held it out to her, "A member of Squad Six dropped this off this morning. It's addressed to you."

In Captain Kuchiki's handwriting…

Toshiro smirked; he could imagine exactly what that letter might say, and although he didn't like the idea of Rangiku being threatened by another captain, he figured a little fear might do her some good.

Rangiku's eyes skimmed over the letter and immediately her face paled. Toshiro took a patient sip of his tea, keeping his face pleasant.

"Everything okay, Matsumoto?" he asked innocently, "You look a little unwell…"

"I, um – uhh, no, I-I don't feel very well," Rangiku murmured, her eyes not leaving the letter, "I think I might go lay down…"

"But you'll miss your SWA meeting?" Toshiro feigned pity but inside he was cheering.

"Th-that's okay," Rangiku nodded quickly and unconvincingly, "I think the SWA is going to take a little break…"

With that she slipped from the room and the captain heard her feet moving hastily down the hallway. He couldn't help but chuckle; he decided liked the idea of Byakuya coming in and disciplining her so he didn't have to. It was both effective and made Toshiro look like the good guy. Rukia would be amused, he was sure, and with the SWA taking a break, and it seemed that they would be able to have a touch more privacy. Now all they had to do was work on controlling their spiritual pressure in the bedroom. Toshiro smirked; well, practice makes perfect.

…

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