Chapter 10

The next five days I stayed aboard the Invictus in a self-imposed exile, the majority of which was spent on my bunk staring at the ceiling. The armor I'd worn on Venus still lay on the floor where I'd dropped it when I first transmatted up. I had lacked energy to pick it back up initially, and then I simply did not care. An unshakable lethargy had settled over me after the ordeal.

I messaged the Vanguard to let them know that the signal had worked. I sent a simple acknowledgment to Celeste's increasingly agitated communications just to assure her that I was alive. The rest I ignored. I had no desire to speak with anyone right now.

In a rare showing of situational awareness, Elgan stayed mostly out of sight which was a blessing. I wasn't sure how I could face the Ghost again, which would make this whole "being a Guardian" thing somewhat difficult. The moment that I pulled the trigger kept replaying over and over in my mind, tormenting me. A small part of me wished I hadn't left the hand cannon behind on Venus so that I could destroy it now in a more direct manner. It wouldn't have accomplished anything, but might have made me feel a little better.

Eventually I had to return to some semblance of normalcy. I knew that, of course. Deep inside I could feel duty beckoning me to return to arms. It was that call and the thought of what horrors could be unfolding if every Guardian had reacted to the infection by withdrawing in the same manner I had that eventually led me to end my five day sabbatical.

Emerging from my cabin, I made my way to the cockpit and settled into the pilot's chair. Venus still hung below as I hadn't had the motivation to actually move out of orbit. Repressing a shudder, I tore my eyes away from its swirling cloud cover and turned my attention to the control panel. I plotted course, and watched through the screens as the ship launched toward Earth.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection one one of the screens. The ghostly image looked haggard against the backdrop of space. Several days worth of beard growth covered my face and my eyes held a haunted expression. I'd seen a similar look in refugees I had escorted to the Last City over the years.

The first time had been shortly after my resurrection, back when I had been assigned to my original fireteam, Fireteam Beircheart. The leader, an old Titan named Donvan, said that it was an ancient word that meant "bright army", and that was what we felt like. Me, Donvan, an Exo Titan named Caelen-5, Hunters Sarai and Kado, and Warlock Baruch, all filled with Light and ready to charge into the Darkness. Since most of us were young and inexperienced, the majority of our patrols stayed near the Wall.

We were on a routine mission when the transmissions began coming in. They were desperate pleas for help, broken and full of static as they came from some cobbled together radio without much power. Donvan deployed us to meet them as they tried to make their way through a mountain pass. As we drew near, they started shouting for our help and many of them tried to run to us. This change in the pattern of movement caused a young child to lose his balance and tumble over the edge. All we could do was watch helplessly as the small body disappeared. The ones who reached us were near starvation, flesh hanging off their bones, their clothes threadbare. Even after getting them to the City, the journey had simply been too much for some of them and they died within days.

It had shaken the new Guardians in our ranks, actually seeing this reality of the new world that we had previously been spared. Donvan had been enraged. He questioned the refugees who were strong enough and figured out the location of the Fallen who had been harassing them. Our response had been swift and fierce; none of the Fallen were left alive. It did nothing for the dead, but there was satisfaction in giving them justice and making sure none shared their fate at the hands of this band of murderous scavengers.

I'd seen that look many other times over the years. Always, the response was swift and sure. This time, there was no enemy to inflict vengeance upon. All that we would be able to do would be to force a return to routine and pick up the pieces of any damage that had been caused. Nothing I could do to bring peace to that face in the reflection. My contemplation was interrupted by a small noise behind me.

"Elgan," I said softly, closing my eyes and lowering my head.

The Ghost approached slowly, drifting into view on my left-hand side. He kept his optic turned away from me, seeming to study the stars. We sat in silence for several moments. Shame filled me once again and I was forced to turn my head away. Eventually, I spoke up.

"Elgan," I started, my voice catching in my throat, "I... I don't know what I can say right now. There's nothing I can do to make up for what happened. What I did. The things I said..."

"It wasn't you," the Ghost replied.

"But it was. Not taking a shot at you, but the things I said when you refused to take me off the planet, there was some truth there. There are days when I hate you for bringing me back. This world is full of pain and suffering; so much of it is just misery and endless fighting. As much good as I know I can do, and as many good days as there may be, there are times when I just wish you had left me lying there on the side of that road. Or that one of the times I fall you simply don't revive me again."

I could hear the parts of his shell whirling as he took in what I said. Surprisingly, he offered no response.

"Those days are few and far between," I continued after a brief pause. "I am grateful to you for bringing me back, and if something would have happened to you I would not have been able to live with myself."

"So, what you're saying is, you like me?" Elgan asked in a wry tone that I had come to recognize over the years as the Ghost being amused at himself.

I coughed out a laugh in spite of myself and looked over at the little Light, the center portion of his shell spinning in a fashion that meant he was quite pleased with himself.

"You are insufferable, you know that?"

"You say insufferable," he retorted, "but what you mean is irreplaceable."

"I might, except it would go straight to your head, and since you have to ride around inside my armor, we can't have that getting any bigger than it already is."

"Speaking of which," he asked, "what do you want to do with the mess in the corridor?"

"Break it all down," I said, the moment of levity slipping away. "I don't want to wear any of that again. No way to be certain it isn't compromised by what happened. Even if it is completely free of the nanites, it would just serve as a reminder."

He bobbed a nod and started to turn away, but I stopped him.

"Actually, wait. Maybe I need a reminder, so that I don't let it happen again"

I rose from my seat and followed him to where the armor sat in a pile, a puddle of Venus rain water collected beneath it. Reaching down, I picked up the Mark I'd been wearing and tore a strip off of the cloth. I tied the fabric around my arm and contemplated it for a moment.

"That will do. Get rid of the rest of it," I told him.

I returned to the cockpit for the remainder of the trip. The NLS drive shut down as we approached Earth, and I smiled at the sight of the blue-white orb. I opted to handle all aspects of the approach manually, bringing the ship through the atmosphere and on course for the Tower. I only had Elgan assist when we made our final approach and I had to transmat out of the ship.

When my feet touched down in the plaza, I was amazed at how subdued the place felt. Normally there were Guardians bustling about, visiting the Gunsmith or Cryptarch, or just being around each other after another successful mission. Today there was little life to be seen.

Remembering what Scott-20 had told me in the bunker, I made my way over to the post office. Sure enough, I had a package waiting for me, which I opened to discover a Spektar Kallipolis Plate. As it was just another reminder of everything that happened on Venus, I decided simply to store it away, doubting I would ever wear the armor now. Once it was gone, I selected an old set or armor for Elgan to retrieve and transmat to my room for me to put on later. First, I needed to see the Vanguard.

Eris was not at her normal spot. I wondered if maybe she had been infected as well. I could see any number of Guardians that would have been eager to pass it on to her and mess with her head. Lord Shaxx was at his usual post, but gave little acknowledgment of my passing. As for the Vanguard themselves, they were in their usual place, looking like they were carrying far more stress than normal.

"Welcome back, Guardian," Zavala intoned. If there was disapproval or disappointment in his voice, I didn't hear it.

"Thank you, sir," I replied.

"We received your Ghost's report of what happened on Venus," the commander continued, "do you have anything to add?"

"Only that I request to be relieved of duty. I behaved in a manner not befitting of a Guardian and am not worthy to continue in the role."

Ikora quirked up an eyebrow at that and Cayde-6 just shook his head. Zavala studied me for a several seconds, letting the silence linger following my statement. I shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of the powerful Awoken Titan. I generally did my best to avoid such scrutiny.

"Request denied," he stated finally. "Guardians infected by this... transmission... were unable to control much of what they did while in its grasp. If we deactivated every Guardian who regretted what happened while under sway of this techno-virus, we would have no one left standing to defend this Tower. You survived. Learn and grow from what happened, Claney. We still need your Light."

I nodded silently. It was basically the response I had expected.

"Is there anything else?" Zavala asked.

"No, sir," I answered.

"Then you are dismissed. You may take a little time to recover, but the Fallen have been taking advantage of the situation by reinforcing several key points across the globe and pushing forward aggressively in others. We need you back to the fight as soon as possible. Dismissed."

I turned sharply and strode out of the room. I made my way back to the plaza and crossed to the elevators. I took one down to the habitat levels, then located my quarters. The armor I had selected earlier was sitting on my bed waiting for me. Spektar Kallipolis Gauntlets and Greaves and Iron Companion Helm and Plate, Middaye shader applied to cast it all in black, green, and gold. A Kings' Mark I had earned in the Reef laying beside it.

I strapped the armor on a piece at a time, pulling each strap slowly and deliberately. The act of girding myself for duty worked as surprisingly effective therapy, helping set my mind where it needed to be. I tapped the helm, letting Elgan know I wanted it stored away for now. I took a long look at myself in the mirror. I felt more like myself now, even if there was still something unfamiliar behind the eyes looking back at me.

Turning away from the reflection, I sat on my couch and closed my eyes, breathing deeply. I tried to focus on the Light, feel the Void energy flowing. After having such a heightened feeling of it while under the sway of the nanites, my grasp of it felt tenuous now. I wanted to strengthen that. In the silence that followed, events of the last few days played through my mind and disrupted my focus. As part of that, a sudden realization of my own selfishness came to me in the quiet.

"Elgan," I said aloud, opening my eyes again.

"Yes, Claney?" the Ghost asked as he materialized.

"Celeste, Scott, and Zillah. Any word of what happened to them?"

"Celeste, I am fully aware of," was the exasperated response. "Whisper has been sending frequent messages from her. She seems very upset with you for your lack of response."

"No surprise there."

"As for the Warlocks," he continued after a pause, "Scott-20 has been seen speaking with Executor Hideo and I believe he is here at the Tower. Zillah is a confirmed survivor, having contacted the Vanguard, but I have no information about her current whereabouts. Best guess would be a return to the Reef."

"The Reef? Why would you say that?"

"No doubt you noticed her armor? I did a quick background check on both of our companions before leaving for Venus. Zillah was notable for having giving up her quarters here at the Tower and having taken up a permanent residence at the Reef, though she has received no formal recognition or acceptance from the Awoken. Very curious."

Curious was an understatement. I'd never heard of a Guardian doing that before. It made the Queen's insignia on her datapad in the bunker seem more significant to me now. She had been looking for something. Maybe a way to prove herself to the Reefborn? What would drive her to do that?

Shaking off the thought, I rose from the couch. My mind found no peace, so sitting here longer would accomplish nothing. What I needed now was something new to focus on. I resolved to check the bounty board and return to the field. My door opened, and I made to step out into the hallway, but was blocked by another Guardian.

"There you are!" I heard a voice exclaim, then felt something smack hard across my face.

Celeste was in the corridor, angrier than I had ever seen her. She shook her right hand as if it stung and I realized she'd slapped me. She forced her way past me into my quarters.

"Hello to you too, kiddo," I said, rubbing my cheek. I closed the door and turned to face her.

"Don't 'kiddo' me," she snapped. "Do you know how worried I was? First you didn't respond, then I get some generic message giving me the brush off, and then you just ignore me? I have half a mind to be the second Hunter to try to kill you this week."

"I know. I'm sorry. I should have said something more, but..."I trailed off weakly. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Hmph," she snorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Don't take it personally, kiddo. I was in no state to talk to anyone. Something happened while I was affected by the mites that left me in a dark place. I really don't want to discuss it right now. Maybe some day, but not anytime soon."

"You aren't the only one, old man," she said softly. "I really needed you."

"I'm sorry I let you down," the words just added to the shame I had already been feeling about the whole ordeal. "I won't let it happen again."

She looked at me and all at once I was no longer standing with a seasoned Guardian. Instead, I saw that young girl I'd found all those years ago, brought back into a world she did not understand. The feeling to protect her from the monsters in the woods was still as strong, though at this point in time I was the one causing the pain. For the first time in years, I put my arms around her, pulling her close and reaching a hand up to ruffle her unruly red hair.

"Really? I'm not a kid anymore," she said in mock offense, returning the hug before pushing me away with a smile.

"I was about to head back up. Walk with me?"

"Well, I'm not going to stay here by myself. It smells. Seriously, when was the last time you cleaned this place?

"I happen to know you once spent two weeks lying in a swamp waiting for a Fallen transport, and you complain about the smell in here?"

"That just lets you know how desperately you need to clean," she remarked as we strode toward the elevator.

We rode back up to the plaza in a comfortable silence. When the doors opened to let us out, we were in for a shock. Where the plaza had been subdued and nearly deserted before, it was now filling with excited chatter. We approached the gathering crowd curiously.

"What's going on?" Celeste asked me, glancing around.

"No clue," I said, then turned to one of the civilians nearby. "What is this all about?"

"It's a new Iron Lord!" the woman stated excitedly. "The first one since Twilight Gap! Coming here under orders from Lord Saladin."

"They say," chimed in another, "that it's the same Guardian who destroyed the Heart of the Black Garden and lead the fireteams that took down Crota and Oryx!"

"Wait, that's a real Guardian?" Celeste asked, bewildered. "No, seriously, that was one person?"

A new Iron Lord? Celeste and I joined the crowd, our eyes following pointing fingers as a ship approached rapidly. It swooped toward the tower and docked at the edge of the plaza. The familiar shimmer of a transmat appeared near it, and a figure took shape. I saw the banner in the newcomer's hand first, then the battered appearance of the Guardian's armor. Finally, I noticed his face and my jaw dropped.

"I know that guy," I said.

…

AN:

So the "Super Guardian" exists, and our story is running just about parallel with the game. I'd initially kept the exact timing a little vague, but once the idea solidified more, I knew I needed to be here. So long as I can stay focused and avoid essentially writing half chapters like I did on Venus to stall it out, things should progress nicely from here.

I am going to have a Crucible related chapter coming up and could use a few Guardians. If you have a Guardian you would like to appear, feel free to leave them in a review or send a PM. Share the usual; name, class, subclass, appearance and personality, specifics about armor and weapons if you have a certain thing you want your character using/wearing. Try to avoid exotics though, for this fic they are very rare (as they should be).

Amberstar of Thunderclan – That kind of sums that up, yeah. But we've now returned to our regularly scheduled broadcast.

Daydreamer B.A – Well, we know how it affected one Guardian. I would imagine it was similar to alcohol in that if affects people differently. Hopefully the quick resolution of that part of the situation wasn't a disappointment, but this was intended to be a small bump on the road as we push toward the bigger problems.