Kizami: you got an eye. Slend, you got a eye. Keep it safe. Shithead.
Slend: Get the fuck away from me, you ass. What is your problem?
Kizami: I came here to find my sis. You killed her, didn't you? I miss my fish. I bet you killed her too.
Slend: wha
Kizami: prepare to die
MEANWHILE
voice: now go to the one who occupies your thoughts.
froot: my body is burning! my loops are singed again!
(froot gets teleported to the room where slend and kizami are)
MEANWHRITLE
Slend: why the fuck
Kizami: you know what. you're my sis now.
slend: dude are you ok/
KIZAMI: MENACE.
SLEND: WHY
Kizami: ever since i was a kid i kno no empathy. just like... your pop.
Slend: :O HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY POP
kizami: remember the parade? member you member. he said 'i'm leaving you'. I am a creature. I lied to him and told him you ate my hot dog, i cried so much, i WANTED THAT WEINER. so i told your dad you were a theif, and that is why he hates you. laughs evilly. :D
Slend: (struggles in chair) YOU FUCK
Kizami: ever since that day
kizami: i've eaten nothing but hot dogs. i just wanted to taste that golden hot dog. but you took it from me. i was... robbed. (a tear rolls down his cheek).
Froot: (materializes) WHAT-
(kizami immediately punches him)
(his loops falls out)
Slend: YOU PUNCHED THE LOOPS OUT OF HIS FROOT
(slend looks at froot)
Slend:HE PUNCHED THE LOOPS OUT OF HIS FROOT!
Kizami: what's this?... heh heh
(kizami eats froot's loop)
kizami: (low voice) follow your nose
froot froot: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (runs and accidentally unties slend)
Slend: (immediately gets up and punches kizami)
meanwhile
(smile runs to the old principal's office and looks through the files)
smile: wow some fucked up shit happened here what the fuck
(opens cabinet)
slimer: what's this (opens bag and sees one ring) WE'RE NOT DOING THIS CUT
smile: (opens bag and sees tongue) ew (ghost appears before him)
ghost: gihh it back
smile: this? here. (chucks the bag and runs)
ghost: thank you (fucker)
meanwhile
Kizami: ow
Slend: HA i gave you a wallop for making me papa hate
froot: (jumping around acting hyper) that's what you get for being a grand asshole
Slend (standing over kizami): so looks like you've been in the background of my life huh?
answer this bub!
froot: why are you talking like that
slend: (whispered) just go with it
Slend: are you responsible for the disappearence of my mother as well? (screams in kizami's ear)
HUH!?
Kizami: yea. anger makes you hate. hate makes you rage. rage makes you kill.
Slend: What did I DO to you? I don't even remember hot dogs. My taste buds only remember ketchup packets from that day.
froot: (jumps kizami)
Kizami: (moves slightly to the left)
kizami: playtime's over (stabs froot, kicks Slend's knee)
Slend: OWWWWWWWW WHAT THE FUUUCK THAT FUCKING HURTS
froot: ... i am,,, losing milk...
kizami: i got you right where i want you...
Slend: oh man.. I really wish I had a deus ex machina right now!
(banging on door)
ENTER PSAUCE
Kizami: FUCK MY LIFE (runs) you hAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME
Slend: come on i think i know where we can patch you up
froot: (white as paper) wh...re..e..
Slend: the infirmary
meanwhile)
Smile Puppy: ooh a bathroom! finally
(opens stall. sees SQUIDWARD on a noose)
SMILE: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
squid: O_O i'm not dead you fuck cut me down
SMile: WOWOWOWOW
meanwhile
(Slend is sitting on a crate. He is sitting in a confused, reflective position with a contemplative look on his face)
(flashback)
(Slend is a young boy. He is at the Parade with his father in the city. The marching band had just gone by and Slend cannot stop smiling)
slenderdad: i'm leaving you
MONTAGE
slenderdad: CLEAN MY TOES
slenderdad: FIX MY HEAD CURTAINS (bangs)
slenderdad: EAT MY SHIT FOR DINNER
Slend: what!?
slenderdad: i mean shoes. GODDAMMIT WHY DONT YOU BLEEZ ME EVERY TIME I SNIZ
(present)
Slend: hollo. you're patched up?
Froot: ye. but i'm goona be feeling this in the morn'.
Froot: hey what's that shiny thing on the ground?
Slend: I wanna see
Acquired [Custodian key]
Slend: hmm, this key is red, and if this is red... then-
froot: thaT DOOT FOOR DOOR THERE!
(they open the red door with the key. they see a small room with a tv on static. turn the lights off)
froot: TURN THE LIGHTS ON
Slend: hey what's this over here
(slend picks up paper)
slend: hheeeeeea..venly hossstt newspaper? Dated September 18th 2003
paper: well on the thirty year anniversary i look at the case once more. the children were murdered in the basement by Yoshikazu Yanagahori, a fucking monster. It seems like he did it, since his dad,
the principal, was once loved, then a mental illness overcame him, it seems likely the same happened to him.
paper: Sachiko Shinozaki was the only survivor, and her testimony was what got Yoshizaku jailed for life. But what if he didn't do it? I mean hear me out? He was nice. I'm not nice. Maybe I did it,
NO WHAT I DIDN'T DO IT WTF AM I THINKING
paper: Sachiko said in her testimony that they were lined up and killed in order and the official cause of death... was death. They lost their tounges. I tried to find Sachiko to interview her, but it's like she dropped off the Earth. Maybe she got abducted. Who fuckin knows.
Slend: (weep) froot, man, i wanna go home.
froot: mee too, this place sucks shit. hell is where we are. (weep) it's my headcanon
meanwhile
smile: i can't find a bucket so i'm gonna lift you up and you untie it
squid: sighhhhhhhhh
(the deed is done)
(smile sees something on the ground)
paper: doll's notes
doll's notes: one step west ten step north
smikeL: ok
(1 step 10 step)
smim: what's on thiss
squid: it's a pocketwatch key. i had a nice pocketwatch... before spongebob fucking wrecked it.
smileblr: this looks familiar
(squid sees a gumball machine)
squid: it goes here (jams key into machine)
both: a new room
both: you owe me a so-da
squid: put the ge ko in the trash can
smile: (wipes tear from eye) ah ehe hehe that's good. now let's go explore this room
(put winder in, room downstairs forms)
Silmile: did you feel that
(they go through a locker room and out into the freezing cold rain. there is a pool, but it is NOT summer ready)
both: ew
smile: squid go back inside. i don't want you to get wet.
squid: i'll come if you call me (exit, pursued by a ghost)
smile: (walks around pool) pump room, dam it's locked
smile: ooh hey (aquired [pump room key])
(splish splash)
smile: huh? OH FUCKIN DAMNIT
(runs back to locker room, squid is gone!)
smile: (runs back outside and leaps into pool)
smile: gimme your tentacles!
smile: huh! this pool's not for fun! we're gonna die!
squidward: fuck man i thought I heard you calling me, and i slipped
smile: oh
squidward: let's go back in
smile: no
(checks out pump room, turns red valve with mouth)
smile: i'm a good boy
(finds tongue in empty pool)
meanwhile
Froot: slend i need to sit down. i'm feeling woozy.
(froot slips into dream)
SHREK: dude. i'm going. to dieeee.
froot: SHREK NO
SHREK: sorry for that argument. i need to grow the fuck up. lemme tell you about mordor.
froot: KISS ME
SHREK: what
FROOT: I WANT TO KISS YOU BEFORE YOU DIE
SHREK: I don't feel that way about you X)
(froot wakes up) what the hell kinda dream was that
Slend: you were out for 60 seconds.
meanwhile
(smile and squidward walk imto the hallway)
ghost: gurgle gurgle
smile: hey ghost. i got your tongue
ghost: oh shit thanks
other ghost: do you hahh my ton
squid: sorry no
other ghost: grrrr
Morishige: HERE I AM, I have your tongue i found it in some random corpse's intestines.
other ghost: fuck yes (both ghosts dissolve)
squid: who are you?
morishige: I am only making a special appearance. I saw a desk that said "Meet up in 1-a"
gotta go now, update on liveleak (points at phone) (exit)
(rumblr rumble REUMBLER RUMBLR)
MSILE: SHIT THIS EARTHQUAKE IS MASSIVE
SQUID: FUCKMAN EATH STOP EATING BEANS
(fade out)
(fade in)
(smile dog and squidward wake up to see they are in their normal classroom. it is afternoon,
and the smell of pizza tacos comes in from down the hall)
squid: are we HOME?!
smile: pizzadalf? :D this feels real! all of this. lo
squid: i can see out there! the blue sky, the bright green grass, the flowers...
i can see clearly now the rain is gone...
smile: hold on what the fUCK IS THAT
(sees big gaping hands on floor with eyes)
Yuki Kanno (aka other ghost): You are not out of the woods yet-
SQUID: I WANT MY FRIENDSSS$SSS
Yuki: You cannot have them. They will become angry and vengeful like me. There is one way though. Go back and appease the rest of the ghosts
squid: fuck that-
(smile punches squid's arm) we'll do it. What happened to you anyway?
Yuki: (grabs smile's hand)
smile: ow
(fade out)
(fade in)
(smile wakes up, laying on the floor, he sees 3 children on the floor)
Smile: i have sleep paralysis.
(a man walks over and puts a blindfold on each kid, including smile)
Smile: whoa so i guess i'm living her thoughts, hope i'm safe.
(smile begins hearing unearthly sounds of death, stabbing,screaming)
Smile: dammmnnnnnn arghhhhhhhhhhh that sounds horrbile
frown: oh wait i'm next :((((
YOSHIKAZU: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sachiko: lifts blindfold (lifts blindfold)
Smile: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW THE FUCK WHY THE FUCK
SMILE: THIS RAISES SO MANY QUESTIONS OMG
Sachiko: hehe (snip snip snip snip snip)
smile: here it comes... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
paper: come back next time for the scoop of a lifetime! it's gonna be so awesome omg
continue to ep 6