Wow so I really feel like the mood might be too heavy for New Girl, but I guess this is just how I feel about their whole situation right now. I would've loved some more angst/drama between them during the season (not just Jess suffering, I mean), and I'm not that satisfied. Please leave some thought if you feel like it. Also, constructive criticism is obviously more than welcome.

And again, it contains some spoilers.

Enjoy (or try to)!

II.

She had a realization last night. She was walking through the streets of Portland, collecting cans because hey, if she was to ever go away for some days and be "selfish", she had at least to do something good for other people. Collecting cans would help her not only clean the streets of the city, but also get some money off of them for recycling, which she could then give to homeless people. The plan made her super happy and get in a good mood.

As she pushed the cart, getting tired but also satisfied at the look of how much she had collected, she saw some of the homeless people she was somehow trying to help. She looked at them for a few minutes and what struck her was... they were happy. It was a man and a woman, sharing a sandwich and just talking about random stuff. They might have not had a home, but they seemed happy. They seemed careless, exactly as careless as she wanted to be.

It was then that she realized just how much she had been holding back, how much she had neglected herself, and how much she was responsible for that invisible hole she felt in her chest. Her home, his home, their home. She couldn't live there anymore. She had to share a sandwich with someone else and somewhere else, because he had someone else to share his with.

She wakes up full of energy in the morning. Goes have breakfast with her father in a bar, chats with him a bit, shares her new view on things. She wants to tell Nick that she loves him, she has to. But she also needs to leave the apartment 4D, for her own good. Bob gives her his blessing, and she goes home to book a flight to L.A.. Because she's ready.

And she's indeed ready, but that doesn't stop her hands from being sweaty and her from feeling a little bit nervous about the whole thing. She loves her apartment, and she loves him, but it is time for her to do something about the situation. She deserves it and, after all, he deserves it too. He will need a good explanation for the boxes she is about to fill with stuff from her room, and she just can't keep lying to him.

"Hey, Miller!" She sees him on the couch and she's already breathless. She has no idea how she's going to do this, but she has to. He looks at her in a weird way, like he's trying to solve a riddle written on her forehead. She feels like this moment has already happened, but she has no idea why. She has never found herself in this situation before.

The look on his face vanishes as he beams at her. He then shouts her name in surprise, gets off the couch and goes in for a hug. She hugs him back, but doesn't lean on him for longer than two seconds, she doesn't want to make things harder.

"I thought you were never coming back! Are you okay?"

Jess can see that he is really concerned and thus feels sort of guilty, until she reminds herself that she has no reason to.

"Yes," she says, "I'm sorry I disappeared but I really needed some time alone."

"I'm sorry. I really didn't know you were still freaking out about being principal."

She is confused. "What?"

"What?" he is confused, too.

"What are you talking about?" she laughs a little with a quizzical look on her face, and for a moment, as he is laughing too, she forgets everything. She forgets that they broke up three years ago and that he is with someone else now, she forgets about their problems and their past fights. It's just them smiling like two idiots at each other, having no idea what is going on.

After a few seconds, he starts feeling some tension build up because of the moment they are having, and he is kind of relieved when Winston and Aly interrupt them, running out of Winston's room with her riding on his back.

"Daaaaaddy! Winston is about to meet his-" he stops singing when he sees Jess, and Aly hops off. "Jess! You're back!" He goes and hug her and tells her that he is there for her, for anything she needs. "Good ol' Winnie is always available for some nice talk, especially if that keeps you from leaving the apartment."

Jess bites her lip. It's time to drop the bomb. "Actually... I think I'm leaving it again, for good." She briefly looks at Nick when she says it, and she can see his face fall in disappointment and shock. And of course it would, she is his best friend too after all, and he has no idea where this is coming from. "Excuse me? What is going on?" Winston's questions bring her attention back to him, and she just has to answer as best as she can.

"You know it's just... You guys are getting married..." she says pointing to Winston and Aly, "Schmidt and Cece already moved out..." She doesn't know if she should keep going or not, if this would expose her or not. "And Nick and Reagan are also going strong and I... I just feel like I should start over somewhere else, do my own thing as an adult. You know?"

Winston looks at both of them, realizing Nick and Jess still have something to talk about. He purses his lips. "Well then, look, that's your choice. I am here if you need anything, but we can talk about this later." He then looks at his watch and at Aly: "We, uh... we actually have something to do right now. I'm meeting my father!" His voice breaks a little and he puts his right hand on his eyes as if to stop himself from crying. Aly smiles at that and holds his other hand.

"Wow, that's great!" exclaims Jess, as Nick comes back to planet Earth with a "Yeah, that's awesome, my man!"

Not hiding how proud she is, Aly explains them the weird stuff she had to do to find him, involving some full of hair lollipops and some surprisingly helpful individual found on Facebook, wearing an afro wig. Yep, that sounds totally random. They leave the apartment and Nick and Jess alone, dealing with an uncomfortable silence.

After a few seconds, Jess half smiles and decides to head to her room, to both start unpacking her suitcase and packing all her stuff. She would deal with love declarations later.

But then he stops her with a simple sentence. "We actually broke up." Shocked, Jess stops in her tracks and turns around. "Me and Reagan, I mean." "Oh," she says, and she really doesn't know what else to add. Except maybe that she is sorry, so she does.

"Yea it happened a few days ago and... you know, I didn't get the chance to keep you updated." He hopes the statement doesn't sound accusing, but maybe it does because her face gets a little more serious. "I'm sorry, I needed some time for myself."

"Oh no, I'm not saying anything like that!" He defends himself, taking a step forward. She reconsiders. "What I'm saying is... that you don't have to feel under pressure, you don't have to leave now! Winston is not moving out any time soon and Schmidt and Cece are practically here the entire time. ...Which really makes me wonder why they would spend any money on buying a house."

They both laugh a bit at the absurdity of their situation, but also realizing how cute their little family is.

"I mean why the hurry?" he asks.

She gets serious again and looks at him with pleading eyes, as if begging him not to ask her these questions now. Not in this moment. "I mean it could be like the good old times, right? At least for a while, before actually moving on with our lives."

She realizes at these words that he also wants to move on, that he also thinks that their time will be up sometime soon. That he also knows they will have to part ways at some point. So any sort of hope fades, any sort of clinging desire to have him say he loves her back is gone. She knows he is never going to say that, because he simply doesn't feel that way.

"It can't be like the good old times, Nick. It's different."

"What is?"

"Well, I am."

Nick's getting impatient at her vagueness and empty words. "What are you talking about?" He doesn't want to but he raises his voice a little, so she does, too. "I am saying that I think it's time to grow up, that's it."

But ouch, that hurts. He certainly doesn't like to be told he needs to grow up, indirectly or not. Especially by her, as it brings back a lot of awful memories and a lof of chest pain. He nods, tight-lipped, says that she's right and that they should all move on and move out soon.

He walks past her and goes to his room, already regretting having this conversation. She looks at him, knowing she has just touched a raw nerve. She then calls after him:

"Wait."