Chapter 9

His face was so close to hers, it felt like he was looking into her soul. She could almost feel his warm breath, a welcome respite from the cold around her. Hands touched her face, his cheek rested against hers, and she leaned into the scratchiness of his beard. Erend. He smelled like broken fuses and burnt metal. She missed that smell.

At least she had her dreams. The memory of that night he kissed her, the last ditch attempt of someone seeking happiness. She didn't want to think of what she'd done, but a part of her sought solace in the fact that because of what she'd done, he was alive. Able to seek happiness elsewhere. At least the time she had left were filled with the fever dreams, most of him. She drifted in and out of consciousness that night, her food untouched, Rath and his men drifting into silence as the torches began to burn down.

His face floated over hers again, blurred, intangible. She could almost feel his arms curl beneath her, lifting her up, away from the dirty ground. It was almost real. Numbly, she opened her eyes completely. They were walking in the dark. Her cell door, in pieces, was being left behind. She was floating. Beneath her, the bodies of men lay crushed and mangled. Rath was among them, an arrow through his eye. Metal teeth glinted in a permanent grin.

The snowy night's cold snapped her awake. She cried out from the pain of her leg, clutching, finding the folds of Erend's cloak and burying her face in it. Broken fuses and burnt metal. She could hear his voice, soothing, but couldn't make out the words. Then it was louder, barking orders. Solders flocked around them. The Vanguard. They'd come for her. Blue lights flickered in the darkness. Machines. Striders, passive, curious, stood at the ready, some mounted by a few members of the Vanguard. Erend ordered them East.

"Make the biggest mess you can!" He called, voice carried by the snowy wind. "The heavier the trail, the easier to follow. I want them to think we're taking her back to the Nora. I'll leave before the snow piles, make a less obvious trail. You, ride ahead, tell Avad what's happened." They were moving again. She found herself settled into a pile of thick furs, wrapped tightly against the cold. It did little to stop her shivering. "She's in shock. We need to get going now! Kiln, you're in charge!"

She was safe. Wheels squeaked as the wagon she was curled up in started moving. Was that a Broadhead pulling it? They'd figured it out! The Machines could be tamed again! With a sigh of relief, Aloy fell into the deepest sleep she'd known since Meridian.

They were camped at the edge of a stream. She could hear the gentle whisper of water. Birds were singing. It was significantly warmer: they must be much farther south. How long had she been asleep? She pushed herself upright, furs falling away. A groan escaped her as she looked at her leg. Her boot had been removed, baring the broken bone. The end of it, though still white and sharp, had retreated slightly back into place, but she knew it'd never be the same. She was still in the wagon, the broadhead pawing the ground nearby. A rustle caused her to look over towards the campfire blazing nearby. It was early evening, too early to stop, but too late to travel with someone injured.

He was there. Prodding the fire with a long stick, he forced flames to jump around the large metal pot sitting in the center, heating water inside of it. There was an almost antiseptic smell of herb and mushroom… she recognized the concoction. She wasn't surprised: even a warrior should know basic first aid in the field.

He noticed her movements. A glance in her direction. "Aloy," he kept his voice low, but it was music to her to hear it. He always said her name like it tasted good in his mouth. "Here I figured I'd have to start digging a deep hole. Glad you're awake."

She crawled to the edge of the wagon, despite the pain. They were alone, none of the other Vanguard were present. "You came for me," she whispered, her voice hoarse.

He scoffed. "Of course I did. Avad'd have my head if I abandoned you in that shithouse. Besides, you need a few more lessons in lying. A little while on the throne might rectify that." He grinned a little wistfully.

Her heart sang. "You… didn't believe me? Not even a little bit?"

He scratched at his chin with a gloved hand. "Only when you said you'd come after me for another kiss," he teased. There he was, the Erend she knew. She smiled despite herself. She so wanted to get up. To hug him.

"My leg," she murmured.

Erend put down the stick he'd been using and came over to her. His armor was still streaked with the blood of Rath's men. They must have been travelling hard. He leaned over her, inspecting her break with a deep frown. "I saw that, before," he admitted, pulling his glove from his hand. He pressed it against her knee, muttering at the heat of her skin. "Got some fever root, but I guess it might only get worse before it gets better. We've gotta reset it if you ever wanna walk again."

"Reset it," she murmured in disbelief. "You can do that?"

He rolled his eyes. "If I had shards for how often I've seen breaks like these in the field, I wouldn't have to see any more. I'm no healer, but I can get you stable till we get you back to Meridian."

He was taking her back. Despite everything, he was going to return her to Avad. She knew, though, that if anyone could heal her leg, it'd be the Avad's healers. Her stomach growled. Erend heard it.

"Cmon. We'll get this over with and then I'll feed you. Otherwise you might not keep it down." He reached out, drawing her up and out of the wagon, ignoring her cries of pain. She leaned on him heavily as he moved her to the fire, setting her on a log he'd felled. "Here." A flask was produced from within his armor. "Old Oseram recipe for pain," he assured her.

She ripped the top of the flask off and downed the concoction. It was practically ethanol. She gasped and choked, sure fire was coming from her throat, and in that one instant the Vanguardsman had her knee and ankle in his grip. With a sudden, shocking pull and twist, her bone crunched back into place. She screamed.

Blood began seeping from her wound once more as she shuttered with pain, and Erend scrambled to smear the clotting agent he'd boiled up across it. The bandage came next, accompanied by a homemade splint. "It's not pretty," he admitted as she gasped for breath. "But it'll work. Let's just hope the poison hasn't gotten into your blood." He picked up the flask she'd dropped and, with shaking hands, took a swing. "Then we'd really be in trouble." He settled on the ground at her feet, heel resting in his palm, but she couldn't feel it. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"I don't… think I feel like eating," she admitted.

"After that, me neither," he took his other glove off and began to rub the feeling back into her foot. She didn't realize that all this time it had begun to turn a bluish, the blood supply restricted, and now it was slowly coming back. She sat back, groaning a bit with the pain. He chuckled good-naturedly.

"Can't say this is how I fantasized me making you moan," he admitted. "I was almost sure it'd be from a bad joke."

She could feel her cheeks redden with heat. "Is now really a good time for that?" She chided him, though she could hear the amusement in her own voice. Erend paused when he felt the barely-healed wounds on her foot from Rath and his men, scowling down at what he saw.

"They really did a number on you," he noted, voice low. She didn't respond. He looked up at her. "I never want to hear again about what they made you say. We can keep it between you and I. I told my men to let Avad know it was a remnant of the Eclipse that picked you up, and we have them believing I'm taking you back to the Nora. I don't know which of the Ealdormen is behind this, but I guarantee that I'll find out." His voice was a little strained as he looked up at her. She could actually begin to feel his warm hands on her foot. It was worth the pain. Her eyes rolled back in her head slightly. So he was going away again, once she was returned.

"Don't go," she heard herself saying again. "I need you. With me."

She could see a muscle in his cheek tighten. He was fighting something. "You don't need me. Even with this," he gestured to her leg, "You'll do fine. Avad'll take care of you."

She didn't want to hear the Sun King's name anymore, nor again a promise of how he'd take care of her. She scowled in the darkness, drawing her leg away from Erend's hands. He looked up at her, an expression of guilt and hurt.

"Look I was wrong when I did what I did, after the feast," the Oseram admitted. He moved to sit next to her on the log. "I shoulda never tried to get between you and Avad. I'm a nobody compared to you. An idiot to think you were even in my league." He rested his arms on his knees, hunched over a bit. She wondered if that armor was heavy. "Though… I gotta be honest, because that's who I am…" He cleared his throat. "It was probably the best moment I've had in a long time."

"That week, at least," she sniped, though at once regretted it. She had no right to use information like that against him. Mentally, she kicked herself.

"You're kidding, right?" Erend chuckled nervously. "Since I saw you during your Proving, I haven't even been able to look at another woman. I mean… what's the use lookin' for stars after the sun's burned your eyes?"

The guy had a way with words. She supposed that's why they used him to quell the resistance against Avad's Apology Envoys. Still, she wasn't used to compliments, and self-consciously fingered her hair. Rath had cut it so short… it barely fluttered past her ears. No more beads for her. He noticed her disappointment and offered a smile. "Don't worry. Still as beautiful as ever," he assured her. "Though Avad might…"

She hit him then. She hadn't hardly the strength to make it a hard punch, and it was aimed right for his solar plexus. His armor bruised her fist, but barely made him exhale. "Ooof!" Defensively, he put up his hands, catching her fist as she aimed another punch towards him. "Hey! That's not nice! And after all those mean things you said me!"

She couldn't help but laugh. When was the last time she really laughed? She couldn't remember, but she was sure he was the cause. A weight seemed to slip from her shoulders, and her eyes teared up. She wanted to scream and cry and laugh all at once. Why not? Who could judge her, out here? Get it out, before you accidentally do it in front of the Great Sun King.

Her shoulders were shaking with manic sobs when Erend gathered her against his chest. He didn't have any more snarky quips, it seemed. She didn't have the strength to push him away, even if she wanted to. He was so warm, but hard, a piece of his armor's steel biting into her cheek. It was like holding a Ravager. She didn't mind.

They sank to the ground, leaning up against the log, and she cried and laughed herself to sleep against him. He let her sleep, finding his flask just barely within his reach without disturbing her. With one arm around her, his heart tied in knots, he began to drink.