Say Goodbye To The Ones That We Love,
Say Hello To The Ones In Control.
Rhiannon's POV
Visiting Day. What a useless day. It is all an illusion, for the legacies and the transfers as well. She rubs at her eyes to get the boogers out of them. Her hair is its usual cloud. She gets ready and Willow greets her. She would trade a conversation with Caleb over one with Willow any day. Caleb. The name sends a downright weird feeling through her stomach, but it is the good kind, not the bad one. She tells herself to not be stupid. Only Caleb could bear her word bombs. He does that by throwing word bombs even worse than hers.
She desperately tries to stop thinking about Caleb. Her grades would sink. They are already nothing exceptional, or so she thinks. (The grades, of course. Caleb is mighty exceptional.) She almost blushes at herself, for coming up with this crap.
"What are you thinking about? Your blush would be visible from the top of the Hancock building." Willow asks and nudges her with a shit-eating grin. This is the first time she saw that expression on her. Or any Erudite.
Oh, so she did blush out loud? Does that even make sense? She shakes her head to get out of the fuzz. It would be better to not tell her, or, one sloppy move and all of it would be fodder for the gossip vampires. The vampires that forage on the platform known as Quaestiones. Honestly, that app is a bloody soul-sucker. Anything, anything on it and it spreads faster than metastasised cancer. Wow, did she use a medical term?
"Oh, nothing." Rhiannon replies.
"That doesn't explain the blush, sister." She drawls like a Dauntless sleepy under alcohol. She points out her finger and drops her head.
"Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing." Maybe if she repeats the lie many times it would sound like the truth. She waves out her arms in circles and faux-runs around the dorm in circles.
"Stop it, now. I wouldn't want you inside a padded cell." Willow says.
Padded cells have been a running joke in Erudite for many years. No one ever saw one, but everyone says that they are near Jeanine's classified lab. The moms round here say that all the mad ones go there and are never to be seen again to their children. Another thing to make all of them like herded sheep.
"I should go to my parents now. I wouldn't want you to miss out on this precious day." Willow gives up on her attempts to extract the truth out of Rhiannon.
"Yeah" She says quietly.
She goes to the library for a quiet moment or two. It's her habit.
Caleb. The cause of that weird feeling lopes weirdly into the library. When did she become like this? She is plenty sure that she used to make perfect sense before initiation. Oh, must be the nerves.
…
An awesome goodbye later, she gets out of the library. The words are imprinted in her mind, it's so good. She wonders how he got the ability to come up with such good sign-offs.
As soon as she enters the hall, she is smothered by her mom and dad. Kisses are planted on her cheeks. All around there are similar scenes being enacted, with hair being ruffled and 'how is my son/daughter doing here'(s) being exchanged and mock punches, mock slaps thrown around and backs are pounded by brothers and sisters. Proud parents stand there with beaming smiles, the full intensity of it focused on their children.
"Hey, hey, overly enthusiastic, hyperactive, mom and dad, could we go to the apartment. I want to meet my brother." She is used to referring to Alev in cryptic terms, all in the name of peace and the greater good.
"Alright, mom." Her mom replies in a way too happy mood for a normal person. Although, her mom usually was pretty rambunctious.
Her mom leads the trio into their apartment.
…
Meanwhile, in the apartment-
Alev sits there, waiting for his dear sister. There is a knock on his door. He wonders which fool would bother him on a day which is practically a Sunday. He opens the door, without glancing through the peephole, an awful mistake.
"Good morning, Alev." Aster says.
"Good morning." He replies curtly and looks around at the living room which is a mess. Occupational hazard of having parents who tended to make a mess wherever they were. Nevertheless, he loved them dearly.
You never knew when a three-pin plug would land itself under your foot. Those must be the preferred torture methods of prisoners housed in Candor.
"Take a seat please." Her usually warm brown eyes are cold, clinical and mean business.
"No, I'd rather talk to you first."
"What is it this time?" He is tired of being shuttled from one person to another but he is careful to not sound too flippant. Erudite takes insubordination very seriously.
"It is about your sister." She replies. His heart grows an icicle right through the middle of it. Not again, not again, not when he can protect her. He has been doing his best but she needs to be careful. She was one of the main reasons he chose initiation duty.
"What about her?" Aster was one of the few who knew that both of them had blood relations.
"She is to be sent for scrutiny. Direct orders from Jeanine. She is to be scrutinised for simulation manipulation. I viewed her file myself; there is very minor manipulation involved. If she is too careless, she may end up with a deduction or something."
"A deduction of what?" Alev asks.
"Erudite have recently developed a procedure to…how shall I say it…to make someone conform more…" She sounds unsure, deviating from her businesslike demeanour.
"I don't understand." He replies. This procedure sounds very scary.
"She will undergo an operation, not a physical removal of any part of her brain but she might undergo manipulations in her memories, her reactions to them, etc. basically her whole attitude will be shifted around…a bit…if she's lucky. I guess it's better than death." She replies.
"What?" He is horrified. What if she forgot him? What if she forgot their parents? What if she just wasn't the same? It would be no better than death.
"I know, it's horrible, but all of Erudite is practically Jeanine's subordinate. Don't worry, there's still the 'if' left for your sister. Tame that little rebel before she gets extinguished." Aster wasn't afraid to criticise but the last part was said with almost motherly worry.
"When will this probable 'lobotomy but not exactly a lobotomy' take place?" He gets a grip on himself. He is sure to throw extra venom into his words.
"I know that it will take place after the initiation. You know, the opportunity Jeanine gave to the initiates, the brilliant ones, is just another way to monitor them. Rhiannon's name is among the choices of Jeanine. She is performing very well, but she needs to be extra careful if she is inducted into that special little group. This group's actions will be monitored closely so that Jeanine can decide whom to perform the procedure on and whom to exterminate."
"Thank you." Alev says solemnly. He is thankful for the information, not for the ones who would probably get exterminated. Exterminated? It made them sound like insects, insects beneath the shoes of people.
"Well, I should get going now. Remember, there's an alcohol free party for all of us when this ends. I wouldn't want you getting drunk and embarrassing your little sister like last time." Aster replies with her usual smile and forces Alev to look at the bright side. There is a tiny hint of embarrassment and a tinier smile on his face.
Aster gets out of the house. The smile disappears like a wraith. Alev is a stone on the couch. A tear slips silently down his cheek.
…
"Hey brother! Did you miss me?" Rhiannon launches herself at Alev. He's gotta look happy for the sake of his little sister.
"Hey sister!" He wraps his arms tightly around his sister. His sister can already sense that something is wrong but is afraid to say it out in front of their parents.
"So, how did it go so far?" Her brother puts up a façade which only Rhiannon can see through. Part of the initiation instructor job requirement, she guesses.
Why is he like this even around us? She thinks.
"It went well so far." Rhiannon replies.
"Whom are you fooling? I am your initiation instructor." Alev says grimly, if she had failed. She mourns at the probability of joining the factionless.
"What happened, Alev?" Mom, Dad and Rhiannon ask at the same time.
"Can't believe you fell for it even after a year. Of course she's doing well." Alev reveals the joke and earns a (real) punch in the shoulder from Rhiannon.
"Ow, when did you get so strong?" He asks.
"This power is reserved only for my brother." She replies with a finger-gun aimed at Alev.
"Alright, alright, I surrender." She can still see the worry in his eyes.
…
They are left alone by their mom and dad for a while. She needs to interrogate her brother. When did they start hiding things from each other? She knows all the secrets of the mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma known as Alev White. She really feels sorry for the girls that fall in love with the 'tall, handsome and mysterious' image and fall at Alev's feet. So bad, Erudite girls act a lot dumber than they are, just for the boys.
"Hey, can you come to my room?" She asks him.
"Yeah, sure."
She leads him to her room. It is a mess as always, but she suspects that the mess inside Alev's mind might be a bigger mess than her room.
"Come on, spill. You thought I wouldn't notice." Better to go blunt with him.
"I am worried." He replies in a mournful voice.
"For what?"
"For you. When you were away in the main hall with mom and dad, Aster came over to talk about you."
"Don't spin this around please. Please tell me what got you so worried." She says.
"Aster said that she reviewed your initiation file and there were some problems on it." Her face gets a shocked look. This is way too similar to what happened two years ago.
"I know what you're thinking about, Rhiannon. Don't worry; there were some very minor discrepancies."
She takes a deep breath, then another, then another, then another, rapidly, till the point of hyperventilation. Don't worry. It's all useless. You're all going to die anyway. Don't worry. The exact sentence which make makes one worry even more.
You're all going to die.
She's going to die. The depressing train of thought is suddenly interrupted.
"Calm down, Rhian." Alev pats her shoulder and uses that rarely used nickname. She gets a hold on herself and dares to ask,
"What exactly were those discrepancies?" A creepily mechanical voice asks.
"Minor simulation manipulations. And a heads up for you, you're going to be in Jeanine's pool of brilliant initiates, which means, you've got to take every step carefully."
"What does it mean?" The news of being in Jeanine's pool of initiates is a bitter pill to swallow.
"Simulation manipulation involves making things appear out of nowhere, as in simulations. You see, to the normal mind, simulations are a picture of reality. They don't realise that they are in simulations, and in real life, you cannot make things appear out of nowhere. To the different minds, they realise that they are in simulations and therefore can bend it to their will. For example, if you have to fight a wild dog in your simulation, you can either run away from it or make use of whatever is around you. The different mind can make a .44 Magnum appear from nowhere, right into his/her hands." He says.
'Who is the different mind here?" All of it is so remote.
"They're… They're called… How shall I say it?... Even I don't know the exact name… But I can guess… I guess they're called… Divergent…" There. There, he said it, albeit very, very nervously.
"Calm down." She doesn't know whom this statement is directed to, Alev or herself. The name sounds so different. So non-conforming, so different, everything she thought she was until it wasn't allowed. All of her life came to this, the very real probability of dying, just for being different.
"What are the consequences of 'simulation manipulation'?"
"Aster said that the preferred method is death. It is usually concealed as a suicide attempt, but for people like you, whose discrepancies are pretty minor, there is a new method just out of the R&D block. It is known as Deduction."
"What is that?"
"Deduction is a mind-altering method used to make an individual conform more. Memories, situations, your response to them would be altered in an Erudite-specific manner. This process will be repeated as many times a required until you forget that non-conforming aspect of yourself."
"Then, suppose if this process would be performed on me, I would not be the same 'me' as I am now? What about you? What about mom and dad? Will they be able to handle that new 'me' that comes out of the factory?" She is on the brink of tears. A stray one leaps out of the corner of her eye.
"Don't cry, Rhiannon. Aster said it's better than death. I'll help you on how to get around the sims." He reaches out to hug her but she slaps his arms away.
"Why don't you understand, Alev? It's no better than death! It doesn't matter what Aster said!"She shouts and cries.
"Don't cry." Alev answers calmly, just like an Erudite.
It all comes to her. Erudite is not better than anyone else in this city. Nobody is better than nobody else in this city. Nobody. They're all nobodies, robots, androids, in this ocean of blue.
She always thought blue gave off a sense of calm. Calm, the colour blue, and all it represents, is nothing, nothing at all.
Nobody and nothing. What a perfect pair.
She looks at Alev, who has nothing but worry and concern in his eyes. Both of them are afraid to breach the one topic that is so creepily near to what is being discussed. Their brother, who was a victim.
"Both of us know what the other is thinking, Rhiannon. I don't want you to end up like him."
"Why are you afraid to say his name?" She asks.
"I always believed names held a sense of power."
"I never knew you were superstitious."
"Only for you. I don't want to lose you."
"Alright. Now give me a big hug." She extends his arms toward him.
They hug, the silence conveying all that is unsaid to the other.
"Be safe." Alev pokes her cheek.
"Hey both of you, come into the dining room right now. Alev, you didn't allow us to even say a word to her. Honestly, I wonder what's cooking in both of your minds when you get together." Mom calls out to them.
"Coming, mom!"
The living room is so clean right now. The table is laid with their favourite food. The scene is purely domestic, ordinary, yet she finds it hard to partake in the spread before her.
…
The first knee-jerk response was leaving Erudite. Rationality took over and she thought that leaving wouldn't help. She needs to investigate; all she needs is a comrade and a starting point. And, she is not that stupid to go jumping straight into the factionless black hole.
Leaving would serve no purpose. Erudite would go on as it was, as it is and it probably would be even brutal than it is now.
Death, disguised as suicide attempts? That was subhuman. Knowledge can be scary sometimes. Really scary.
She goes out of the apartment and contemplates on who she can trust, on this matter.
Alev couldn't do anything that would threaten his job, and she wouldn't want him to lose his job.
Mom and Dad would also face the same choice.
Willow, not a chance.
The only name that comes to her mind is Caleb. He seemed like a trustworthy guy, but, sixteen years of life taught not to take things at face value.
Caleb seemed like the most correct person to trust, but trust is a two-way road. She needed to show that he could place trust in her as well.
She goes into the enormous scrap metal dump yard behind the automobile workshop. Caleb is there once again. There is definitely some great plan by some otherworldly entity to align their locations with respect to time always. So that his and her time-location graph always met, in the weirdest places possible.
Caleb is talking to someone, a Dauntless woman, dressed in faded black clothing. She must be his mother, but didn't Caleb say that he came from Abnegation. Who is this new character here?
Snooping is not a good thing, but things were needed to be done to get information.
Oh bless me Lord, for I have sinned.
She hides behind the metal skeleton of an enormous refrigerator. The frame is rusted; surely the inside would be a breeding ground of rats.
No time to be picky. It's only a matter of time before the woman and Caleb turn to the right. They are in deep conversation.
She gets behind the refrigerator. There are a few really noticeable similarities in Caleb and the woman. The first among them are the piercing, vibrant green eyes. They are of the exact same shade. Although it is hard to know from this distance.
She hugs Caleb and plants a kiss on his cheek. All doubts are erased now. The woman is definitely his mother.
"Don't forget what I said, research into that. Dad loves you. Goodbye." A tear on her cheek catches the fading sunlight.
"Don't cry, Mom. I will come to you, when all of it ends." He hugs her for a last time.
…
Oh Caleb, what is this coming to? I hope I can trust you and you can trust me after this thing ends. She thinks from behind the refrigerator.
*There she crawls out, from the enormous black hole she disappeared into for the last month and a week.*
Sorry, sorry, there was a little monster known as mid term exams I had to fight. But i can't blame every bit of the delay onto it. It was simply my own laziness, and a grandma of a writer's block. It took weeks of listening to Green Day and My Chemical Romance to get out of it. Anyway, has anyone heard the new Green Day album? I did just now, and the song in this chapter come from there. Honestly, it was a relief to the ears (including mine) which were bored out by Uno! Dos! and Tre! I didn't like that trilogy very much.
Hey you, yes, you, I sincerely wish that you have a good/awesome/nice/all other positive adjectives you can find, day, because everyone deserves a day like that.
TheVibrantNight