Hello, hope you are enjoying the story so far. I'm looking forward to writing more of this, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt such lovely characters. I feel like I am being unnecessarily cruel to them. I'm being serious here; I feel like a monster.

So, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone; even if you are not celebrating anything, I hope you have a nice few days regardless.

...

Oh my beloved, darling diary, why must I hurt so?

I searched for my Yuuri all evening, but he is nowhere to be found. He is not in the pool, the gymnasium, the library or any of the restaurants. Which is a shame, as the food is delicious. As I was walking Makkachin on deck, I saw many people out for a nightly stroll, but none of them were Yuuri. It is like he is not on the ship at all, and that makes my heart weep. Could he not make it? Has he abandoned me? I know I asked so much of him, and we have not properly spoken since he- drunkenly- agreed to this, but surely if he was not coming he would have told me? Chris told me he has not seen Yuuri either, and poor Georgi is a little wrapped up in his own problems, as usual. Anya left him a year ago. I have known widows who recovered faster.

A change will be good for him though, and being away from her and that new man he has seen her with. I hope he can find someone new on our travels, as he has lost a great deal of motivation and is hard to work with now. Chris too, though he has yet to tell me why. I, on the other hand, have lost my inspiration. Paris has offered me all it had, and even with Yuuri I do not know what I want from my career. The fact that we were unable to perform together in public might have contributed, and I plan to change that in America. We shall dance together one day. A new country and Yuuri is what it will take to claw back my inspiration, I can be certain of it. I have asked him to join our troupe, but have yet to hear a positive response. Maybe the trio is growing stale together and we will need to go our separate ways to better ourselves. This is something we will need to discuss in the near future.

Whilst we have been graced with such an incredible opportunity, it only seemed fair to offer our good fortune to those who got me as far as I have, namely Yakov, who ran the orphanage myself and Georgi grew up in. We agreed a change of scenery and nice apartment would be a good way to spend his final years- at seventy there cannot be many left. The idea was to also bring any orphans left in his care with him to start a new life, but alas there are only two remaining, who are almost old enough to fend for themselves. Yakov explained he is too old to look after young children anymore and stopped taking them in. I assume they are sent to live with someone younger and better able to care for them. In any case, it is nice for him to have somewhere to retire to, after all he has done for us. Yes, he was very strict and shouty- still is- but he raised me to be the man that I am. This will be nice for him. The children too- Mila and Yuri- I have not seen them since they were tiny and my have they grown. I hope they are excited to be moving, though little Yuri did not seem too happy. I can only guess why.

I did not know how much I missed them until now. I hope to visit them all more often in future now we will be in the same country.

They are now in third class- I am not made of money, after all- and I had a great deal of trouble purchasing tickets for them. For some reason, White Star Line distrusts us Eastern Europeans. We are trouble, apparently. I cannot think of what I could have done to offend them.

Oh where is my Yuuri?

Yakov says I am getting too thin. I need to eat more and surely I could afford it. If not what am I doing with my money? I told him I need to keep the weight of a figure skater but he says I take it too far. And that is not all that displeased him. I have not written in years and just suddenly surprise him with a proposal to move halfway across the world. I did not need to travel first class and am being too much of a boast. Georgi did not get such treatment, but then again, Georgi is not the reason he lost so much hair. I was never apt at following orders, even as a child.

I can only trust they boarded smoothly and are settling down in their cabin. I will visit them tomorrow when I get the chance. We only had last night in Paris to catch up and I daresay it was not enough.

I also hope to find my Yuuri tomorrow. That is, if he has boarded.

Oh diary, he is the most incredible person I have had the good fortune to meet. He skates like he is made of the music, and his body is the very orchestra and song capturing the attention of anyone who dares gaze upon him. He is so nervous, and lacks a great deal of confidence, but there is a fire hidden within, a fire I have only seen the smoke of. I need to know more about him. I need to know everything about him. I feel if I can help him, then he will reach his full potential as a skater. There is so much potential that is rotting away and I know he can make it big if he believed in himself.

Yuuri is as fun as he is beautiful. As passionate. As kind. Why does he not see what I see? And dare I say, in the privacy of my diary, that his thighs are the very definition of temptation and sin.

I love him. I am deeply, unapologetically in love with him. Is there hope for us? I like to think so. The world be damned, we will be together because I know it was meant to be.

I distract myself from my worry writing this, though unsurprisingly it is not working. I am in the reading and writing room with Georgi and Chris; it is late and few people are about. Georgi is reading poetry, and Chris seems determined to finish his letter so it can be posted tomorrow from Queenstown, seeing as he will not have another opportunity to do so until New York. I tried to ask him whom it was to, but he refused to say. One glance has told me he is not even writing in French, which I can only take to mean he did not want myself or Georgi reading its contents. I shall not pry further, which is a shame because he just kissed the envelope so it is either someone very special or a fan. Is he crying? This is fascinating, if a little uncomfortable.

He seems to have sensed I am writing about him. He looks aggravated. I must go now.

...

Minami's notes:

Christophe's letter was never discovered, nor was it revealed who he was writing to.

...

Chris is writing to that mystery man, but given it's not certain what their relationship is, I didn't want to imply anything too romantic. I hope we do find out more about mystery guy because I ship them, aha.