Oh lookie, a nice fast update to make up for the delay... it's short though, naturally. Seung Gil turned out surprisingly straightforward to write, given how generally unreadable he is.

...

There is a certain mister on this ship who goes by the name Phichit. He is 165 centimetres tall, at a guess, and Siamese, so he was saying. His French is abysmal, as is his diplomacy and knowledge of current events, and he talks so much yet has so little to say. He is, without a doubt, the most irritating individual I have ever had the misfortune to meet, but despite how unbelievably clingy he is, and how it should be impossible for one person to be so cheery, the man does seem rather endearing. Sweet, even. Like a puppy. Like my little Pado, even. I do not understand why he is so taken with me, and the man has refused to leave me in peace since he saw me.

Park Min So gave me this notebook when I left Korea to document my travels, but I never felt the need. I remember what happened, so why write it down?

Phichit will be the exception to this.

I have analysed and studied how I feel and react around him, and my mind is a mess. I really do not appreciate such clutter, so I will write my findings here, sort through these thoughts and then forget about it all. Maybe I will even destroy this notebook.

Phichit… Phichit… why do I interest him? And why does he interest me? He is warm, I suppose, a pleasant change on this cold ship. Cold air, thin blankets, no Pado to sleep in my bed with me. Sunny Phichit, kind Phichit, the only person to go out of his way to talk to me Phichit. Not that I would like to be crowded by people, but Phichit is my exception. I need his warmth, after all.

Even as I write, it is starting to become more clear to me. Tugging heart, shortness of breath, sweats as I toss and turn at night- I am either infatuated or dying, and to tell the truth I cannot work out which would be worse. At least if I was dying, I would care a little less over my dangerous infatuation.

Min So was the one who rescued me last time such a thing happened- protecting me and smuggling me out of the country on the condition that I would never pull such a stunt again, that I would keep my head down and keep safe. I did intend to make good on my promise, and thankfully I will probably not have to see him again when we reach our destination so all that leaves is this one week to bear Phichit's infectious influence. I will make the most of his cosy, radiant form until then though, to get me through this journey.

Min So would be so displeased to hear that, and I hate to admit that she would be right. I have already been forced to flee my country because of this perversion- not that it has ever felt like such, but the rest of the world has always had a habit of doing the opposite of what I want it to. I should have learnt my lesson by now, having given up everything once, and the logical thing to do would be to cut all ties with the man. That is the conclusion I hate reached, the one I should stick to, but for the life of me I cannot.

He saw me again today. In all honesty, I had been desperate to avoid him. I promise you, Min So, I tried to avoid him. Sure, he had a camera and his words were fascinating beyond belief, and I need him so desperately, but I cannot allow myself to be close to another man. I must not be so stupid again. He did not seem to understand how suspicious he looked, with his warm eyes and words of affection.

I know I ought to avoid him. I know I should stay in my cabin and hide but he is impossible to resist. Besides, there are certain necessities that call for me to leave the cabin. Food, for one. Pado, for another.

We talked again, and he apologised for his words. Not a genuinely malicious person, that is comforting to know. He tells me I fascinate him, but I cannot for the life of me work out why. I think he may be a homosexual though and I wonder if he will work that I am one too. And then what? He seems to care for me though. And I cannot tell for the life of me why that would be so, but I suppose I can shoulder that burden for now. I might have grown to care for him too, or at least tolerate him. He has the sweetest smile and gentle eyes.

Yes, I know I should avoid him for my own good, but I cannot bear to have him leave just yet. Let him stay with me, if just for a short while, do not take him away. He has somehow become a light for me, my sunshine.

I play a dangerous game, despite how I hate such things, and I hope this will not end up like last time. Where is there to run in international waters?

...

I made a spotify playlist for this fic, btw. It's called 'and the devil makes three', naturally but I have no idea how to link it here as I just listen to spoofy on my phone.