Tis a shame I cannot spend every waking moment with Viktor, but that is life, I suppose.

We are doing the best we can under such trying circumstances though, and even as I write I wait for him, in the corner of the library where we said we would meet- every day, whenever he needed to see me. We will wait here for the other when we can and need. The library itself is far bigger than my cabin and makes me feel safe- not outside, but not too crowded either- and I plan to spend more time here, now that I am not looking for Viktor anymore; he knows this and will always look for me here, so he says. We always wait for each other, and we always find each other, thankfully.

Vitya says he wants to try sneaking me into his cabin tonight and, knowing him, every other night we happen to be here. I would rather not risk such a thing, but it would be nice to be close to him again, to feel his sleeping body beside me, run my hand through his hair and see those eyes glisten for no one but me. Vitya calls me a lot of things, but when it is just the two of us in amorous congress, when he is mine alone, I am his eros. I want him this way again and even as I write this- just for one moment- I would not care who knew. And now as I write with, I realise how terrible that would be.

We would get caught though. Not only is there no way to let me into first class, but the stewards would be everywhere, watching up and even in the quiet of Viktor's room, they would come in to do whatever jobs they needed to- oh we cannot risk it. Our careers and lives would be over in one terrible moment. All Vitya has to do is keep his distance for one more week; is that really so tricky to do?

For him? Yes. Vitya loves his affection, giving it freely whenever it is safe to do so. And his idea of safe is far different to mine.

I fear one day Viktor's actions will get us both killed, and whilst I should be worrying about such a fate, I sometimes feel I should embrace his fearless affection so when we go I will have no regrets. His touches and how we cannot be apart for long will arouse the suspicion of the wrong person one day. We will break apart just a little too slowly. His gaze will linger a little too long. Someone would find it written down- some cold hard evidence to send us both to prison or worse.

If I have to go, I will make sure it is by Vitya's side, and I can firmly believe he would say the same.

Maybe I will spend the night with him after all.

Things seem to have fallen into a monotonous routine for which I am glad of. The world was a scary place when I did not know where he was, if we would see each other soon or even again, if I had made a terrible mistake and not only inconvenienced myself but forced Phichit, Celestino and Minako to drop everything for one stupidly amazing man.

But our plans are now running smoothly, and I assume the rest of the trip will fall into this simple routine of me reading and writing here, waiting for Vitya. He certainly brings a spark to the day, a nice change from simple, lifeless food; strangers and books I cannot actually read; crowded halls and rooms that feel like they will close in on me and prying eyes. With him I can just talk and listen, as the rest of the world melts away into oblivion.

I sometimes wonder where I would be without Viktor's love. At home, I suppose, probably inheriting the family springs and living in peace with my parents and sister. I wonder, if I had never saw him skating that first time, would that part of my life would have remained empty? Would I have filled it with another passion- both in career and love? Who knows?

I do not think I would be so driven though. I think life would have become truly monotonous.

On the ice with Viktor is where I belong, and I am truly grateful that this is now my reality- and will continue to be wherever we end up. He has asked me to join his troupe, and for the first time since I feel like it might be possible and not some silly fancy of his.

I hope Christophe and Georgi will not mind…

...

Minami's notes:

I am reminded here of something Katsuki once said to me, something I took little notice of at the time: if a crime is committed in international waters, is it really illegal? At the time I assumed he was talking about hypothetical murder, not real love.

...

Homosexuality wasn't actually illegal in France at the time- so if they'd stayed in Paris they would've been fine, in more ways than one.