Chapter 5: Karakura
Yukio's arms were around his waist, holding him close as they danced to the low bass drumming throughout the club. Toshiro tilted his head to the side to allow his boyfriend's lips better access to his neck.
"Yukio," Toshiro groaned, his alcohol-fused mind clouding with lust, he felt like it was just him and Yukio alone in this club, but in reality the venue was packed with university students celebrating the end of exams.
The blonde pushed their hips together, his hands settling on the prodigy's waist and he began to move against him in time with the steady beat. Toshiro was getting hard in his jeans, and from the feel of things, Yukio's arousal was also growing by the second.
"We need to stop," the white haired boy murmured into his boyfriend's ear, "Otherwise we'll end up having sex."
"I like having sex with you," Yukio responded, nipping at Toshiro's ear and indicating that he was probably as equally drunk as the prodigy felt.
"We're in a nightclub," Toshiro chuckled, but to be honest, his boyfriend's pelvis rubbing against his own was rapidly decreasing his will to argue.
"They have bathrooms, don't they?" the blonde asked, standing up straight and looking around as if searching for the toilets.
"We are not having sex in a club bathroom," Toshiro hissed, pushing away from Yukio in disgust, "We'll get a disease or something."
The blonde burst out laughing, grabbing Toshiro by the waist and pulling him into his chest, "I'm kidding, Babe, we can wait until we get home."
The nineteen year old prodigy pouted against the warm, broad chest. He and Yukio had been dating for close to six months now, so he was quite accustomed to the blonde's cheekiness and terrible humour which almost rivalled his uncle Shunsui's. The twenty year old gamer had not lost even a touch of sexiness in that time however, and Toshiro still spent most of his time just staring at the slightly older boy.
Yukio cupped his cheek and brought their lips together swiftly; their bodies melted back against each other instantly, and their hips and feet finding the beat again automatically. Once again, it was just them and the music; there was no crowd, no drunken screaming, no crazy lights, just Yukio and Toshiro.
"Can we go home now?" Toshiro asked, pulling away from the kiss and resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder; he wanted nothing more than to climb onto his bed, Yukio sliding on top of him.
Yukio chuckled, "Soon, Babe, we promised Rangiku we'd stay until midnight at least."
Toshiro pouted again; Rangiku was why they were here. The strawberry blonde woman had just had her ultimate dream come true – she had landed a recurring guest role in the next season of BBC's 'Sherlock'. The busty woman had dreamed of becoming an actress for as long as Toshiro had known her, but this was the first 'big' role she'd been given, since she'd only done the odd TV commercial and still had to work at The Seireitei to pay her rent. Both Yukio and Toshiro were extremely happy for her; Sherlock was, after all, one of their new favourites. However, they were also extremely jealous, because Rangiku would now get to work alongside the one and only Benedict Cumberbatch, and even though he didn't have blonde hair, Toshiro absolutely adored him.
Detaching himself from Yukio, Toshiro grabbed his boyfriend's hand and led them back to the bar to get another round of drinks; if everyone expected him to stay until midnight he was going to have to have another drink. The prodigy ordered them both rum and cokes, while Yukio disappeared and returned a minute later with two cups of water. The twenty year old games design student was generally always in charge of making them both drink plenty of water while they were out, mostly due to his aversion to alcohol; Yukio only drank on special occasions and never got seriously drunk. Right now, Toshiro could tell his boyfriend was approaching his limit and that this would be their last alcoholic beverage of the night. The white haired boy didn't mind; he wasn't a huge fan of drinking either, and he was prone to bad hangovers if he did, so it was great that Yukio cut them off before either of them could get too drunk. Not that the blonde would stop Toshiro if he wanted another one, but the young genius preferred to stop when his boyfriend stopped, if only to support him, unlike his parents, high school friends or ex-boyfriend.
They drank their rum and cokes, returning to the table where a small portion of their group was hanging out. Rangiku had many friends – work friends from The Seireitei, actor friends, friends she'd made at university before dropping out to pursue acting, friends from high school and Gin's friends – and Toshiro was sure that at least half of the club's patrons tonight were here for her.
Spotting Ichigo and Rukia in the back corner, Toshiro threaded through the crowd, Yukio gripping his shirt from behind as he trailed after him.
"Hey lovebirds," Ichigo teased, poking Toshiro in the ribs, "I thought you were a going to fuck right there on the dancefloor."
"Speak for yourself," Toshiro scoffed, smirking as he wagged a finger between the orange haired male and Rukia, "I saw you two at the mid-year staff party last week."
As it had turned out, everyone had been wrong about the Renji-likes-Ichigo theory that floated around the restaurant. Just as Rukia had built up enough courage to ask out her redheaded crush, she walked in on him sucking off her brother – head chef, Byakuya Kuchki – in the chef's office. Now Renji was dating Byakuya, although Yoruichi had transferred the apprentice to one of her other restaurants, since she believed there was a conflict of interest if Renji's boyfriend was also his manager. The whole event had left poor Rukia broken hearted, but of course, Ichigo had been right there to 'comfort' her and finally, five months on, they'd gotten together officially. Rukia had left the restaurant too, taking up another bartending job at a hotel. Rangiku had enjoyed the drama immensely; it was actually a miracle she had made it to her Sherlock audition with all the gossiping she had been busy with.
"Look what you've done to him, Yukio," Rukia nudged the blonde boy, "The old Toshiro would have just blushed and stammered out some lame excuse, but this one is developing some sass."
"I do miss shy Tosh," Yukio grinned, hanging his arm loosely over the prodigy's shoulders, "But I like the confident version too. He's a better kisser, and don't even start me on the blowjobs he gives..."
Toshiro flushed and Ichigo smirked at him.
"There's that blush," Ichigo pinched Toshiro's cheek, "Long time, no see."
"Get lost."
"You can't talk to your supervisor like that."
"Fuck you," Toshiro hissed causing Ichigo and Rukia burst out laughing.
The teal-eyed boy never swore at work and that led most of his colleagues to think that he didn't swear at all. The first time he'd swore in front of them, Ichigo had cried with laughter, saying that listening to Toshiro swear was like listening to a toddler swear, and it was followed by a round of people asking him if he even knew what the 'F-Word' meant. That had been the first time the young genius had hung out with his colleagues outside of work and it had been mortifying. Toshiro still blamed Rangiku, since it was her he was swearing at, and her idea that he should socialise with the work group and make 'proper friends'.
At the university, the prodigy himself had actually made a few friends since dating Yukio; well, they were Yukio's friends but apparently they liked him and now he had people to have lunch with and study in the library with. Overall, he'd ended his first year of university with friends and a sexy-as-fuck boyfriend, and the nineteen year old couldn't be happier. Even Rangiku and his uncles had noticed an improvement in his moods and general 'aura' – their word – and despite just finishing exams, Toshiro was pretty keen to go back.
He turned towards Yukio and saw the blonde staring at his phone with a serious frown.
"You okay?" Toshiro asked, ignoring Ichigo and Rukia's continuing banter at his expense.
"Yeah," Yukio cleared his throat, popping his phone back into his pocket, "I just need to go outside and make a call."
Toshiro frowned; something was wrong.
"I'll go to the bathroom and then meet you outside?" Toshiro asked; it was his way of offering his boyfriend a private moment, while implying that he would be expecting the blonde to talk to him about it afterwards.
The blonde nodded sharply before turning back into the crowd and disappearing towards the exit.
…
Toshiro found Yukio sitting in the gutter just around the corner from the club, away from the lines of drunken people waiting to get in and the busy bouncers. The twenty year old had his arms wrapped around his knees and was staring straight ahead with that same frown from before.
He looked shocked, and almost angry. Toshiro quickened his steps, worry growing rapidly inside his chest.
"Babe?" Toshiro murmured, slipping down to sit beside his boyfriend; he rarely used pet names himself, but Yukio looked like he needed to hear one, "What's happened?"
Yukio turned to look at him, his face expressionless for the first time in Toshiro's memory.
"My parents died," He replied, with a small shrug of his shoulders like it was the simplest answer in the world.
"What?" Toshiro gasped, his eyes widening in shock as he gripped the blonde's sleeve automatically.
Yukio nodded slowly, twisting his phone in his hands, "My aunt – the good one – texted me, asking me to call her as soon as possible, so I did. My parents are dead."
Toshiro's jaw dropped in shock and no words could form in his mouth. Yukio's parents were dead; his boyfriend had just lost his mother and father and that was something the genius knew a lot about. He couldn't believe it; anyone but Yukio – he was too precious to hurt. Tears prickled in the back of Toshiro's eyes and he pulled Yukio into him, wrapping his arms around the twenty year old.
"They overdosed five days ago," Yukio informed him, his voice still even, "Nobody knew they were dead until the pub owner went to check on them since they hadn't been to his tavern in almost a week."
Toshiro could feel his eyes watering, but he held them back for Yukio's sake; he was so sad for the blonde. The gamer was being uncharacteristically impassive, especially in the face of such terrible news. It was possibly a delayed reaction, Toshiro assumed, his mind somehow finding the time to slip into one of his psychology textbooks. Whatever the case, he needed to be strong for his boyfriend right now.
"The police have arrested their drug dealer," Yukio continued nonchalantly, "Apparently my parents owed him a lot of money, and they believe he might have given them 'bad' drugs on purpose."
"They think it was murder?" Toshiro asked disbelievingly, his arms tightening around the older boy who only nodded against his chest in response.
They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, Toshiro still holding Yukio, who remained consistently neutral in his expression and demeanour. The white haired boy rubbed his boyfriend's back soothingly, but he felt sick to his stomach, and he knew that Yukio must have been feeling a hundred times worse right now.
"I'm so sorry, Yukio," Toshiro murmured, feeling safe enough that his voice would be steady, "I was too young to remember when my parents died, but I think I still have a good idea about how you must feel-"
"Don't be sorry," Yukio interrupted, removing himself from Toshiro and sitting back up straight, "They did this to themselves."
"Yukio-"
"It's fine, I don't want to discuss it." Yukio muttered, slipping his phone back into his pocket, "Let's just go back inside; I promised Rangiku I'd dance with her."
Toshiro frowned; surely Yukio didn't want to go dancing now of all times?
"I think we should go home," Toshiro quickly stood up as Yukio did, blocking the blonde's path back to the club entrance, "If you don't want to talk about it tonight, that's okay, but going back into the club isn't going help you."
"I don't need help," Yukio snapped, causing Toshiro to flinch a little, "I told you – It's fine, I'm fine, everything is fucking fine."
Toshiro took a deep, shaky breath, "Please, Yukio. Let's just go home."
"Why?!" Yukio's voice had risen, and he looked at Toshiro questioningly, his eyes hard and almost daring the prodigy to bring up his parents again.
Toshiro recoiled, shrinking back; Yukio had never glared at him before.
"Because," Toshiro answered, his voice rising in pitch and his eyes stinging dangerously, "Because I think we should."
His voice had broken on the last word, and Yukio noticed, his hard stare and scowl vanishing immediately. The slightly taller male sighed tiredly, raking a hand through his own hair before he pulled Toshiro into his arms and kissed his cheek apologetically as the tears began to leak out.
"It's okay," Yukio cooed gently, kissing his forehead now, "I'm sorry. Let's go home."
Toshiro felt pathetic; crying when it wasn't even his parents that had died, all the while Yukio stood strong and kept it together completely. The prodigy just knew how terrible it was losing both parents in one go, and the idea of his gorgeous Yukio suffering that pain was devastating to him. He never wanted the blonde to be upset; in fact, it was his unspoken duty to keep that boy happy and healthy, but how could he stop his parents from dying? He'd never even met them. Toshiro knew that his own situation was different to Yukio's – he was barely old enough to remember his parents and Yukio hadn't spoken to his in almost two years – but losing a parent, or both, had a special sort of grief and Toshiro knew that no matter how straight Yukio kept his face, inside he was probably dying and that thought was too horrible for the prodigy to bear.
Yukio let him hail a taxi, staying silent as Toshiro's tears continued to spill soundlessly onto his cheeks. During the ride home, they didn't speak. The two boys stared out of their respective windows at the dark London streets, and after a few minutes, Toshiro felt Yukio grab his hand and hold it tightly. He returned the gesture, but he'd lost track of just who was comforting who now.
…
Toshiro was so lost in his own thoughts as he stared at the fry pan full of his and Yukio's breakfast that he didn't hear the blonde wander into the kitchen until two arms wrapped around his waist and lips pressed into his neck.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you last night," Yukio murmured, his arms tightening around Toshiro's body, "I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry," Toshiro mumbled, poking the bacon with his spatula, "I shouldn't have got upset like that."
The twenty year old sighed, pressing another kiss into Toshiro's skin, this time at his temple.
Last night, neither one of them had slept very well, or at all in Toshiro's case. His uncles had been asleep when they arrived home, and Yukio had allowed Toshiro to lead him up to his bedroom. They took separate showers, and when Toshiro had returned from his, Yukio was sitting on the end of his bed, holding his head in his hands.
"I just feel numb," the blonde had admitted, "I don't feel anything."
Toshiro hadn't really known what to say in response, and he was almost too scared to say anything anyway, just in case Yukio got mad again. His boyfriend still needed support, however, even if he wasn't ready to admit it, and so Toshiro helped him under the covers, before sliding in himself and flicking off his bedside lamp. The gamer's arms had immediately pulled him close – closer than normal – and they laid like that for the rest of the night. Toshiro's mind was racing, he didn't even feel tired and knew instantly that sleep was completely off the table for the night. Yukio was in and out – mostly out – of restless naps but not once did he release his hold on Toshiro.
"Where are your uncles?" Yukio asked softly, taking a seat at the kitchen bench.
"They went out for breakfast," Toshiro answered, serving their breakfast onto plates, "Jushiro wants to buy new linen as well, so that's probably going to take a while."
Yukio chuckled softly, knowing all about Jushiro's homemaker shopping trips. Toshiro placed a full plate of breakfast in front of the boy and handed him some cutlery, before turning to the fridge to get them some orange juice. Yukio tucked straight into his meal and the young prodigy allowed himself a small amount of relief; at least his boyfriend was still eating.
After breakfast, Yukio still appeared to be in a relatively good mood, suggesting they curl back up in bed and watch an episode or two of Merlin together. The nineteen year old loaded a disc into his DVD player and climbed back into bed beside a very tired looking Yukio.
"I need to go back to Karakura," Yukio announced as his arms slipped around the prodigy and the copyright warnings flashed on the screen, his voice was hard like it was last night, but this time it wasn't directed at Toshiro. In fact, he sounded like he was far away, "I'll book train tickets tonight and I'll come back straight after the funeral."
Karakura was the dead end town Yukio was from, where his parents had succumbed hard to the raging drug and alcohol problem the town had; the one that had ultimately ended their lives.
"I-um, well, I th-though that, um-" Toshiro stammered, looking down once Yukio's curious gaze turned to him, "M-maybe – i-if you wanted I could, um, c-come?"
It had been a long time since he'd stuttered so much in this boy's presence, but Yukio seemed to understand anyway.
"You want to come with me?" the blonde asked, hooking a finger under Toshiro's chin and forcing him to meet his blue and green eyes, "To Karakura?"
"O-only if you want me too…" Toshiro closed his eyes – Yukio could tilt his head up but he couldn't pry his eyelids apart, "I-I don't have to, I just thought – maybe you m-might want s-some company or someth-"
Toshiro never got to finish as a soft pair of lips pressed against his mouth firmly, swallowing the rest of his broken sentence instantly. The hand under his chin moved to cup his cheek, and Yukio's mouth opened against him, begging for entry. Toshiro was very confused but allowed the tongue swiping against his lips in anyway. Mouths and tongues moved against each other slowly; Yukio had the lead but he didn't raise the kiss anything above sweet and loving. When he pulled back, he did so slowly, sucking on Toshiro's lower lip a little before pressing another firm peck back on closed lips.
"I'd love for you to come with me, Babe," Yukio murmured, leaning down again to kiss Toshiro's cheeks again, "You didn't need to be so nervous, you know?"
Toshiro felt his cheeks heat a little, "Oh, it's just that I – well, I already b-bought train tickets, but I was worried that m-maybe you wouldn't-"
"You bought tickets?" Yukio asked, eyebrow raised with interest.
Toshiro nodded nervously, concerned that he might have overstepped his bounds a little. He pulled out his phone and brought up the confirmation email.
"Tomorrow, 11:17am," Toshiro spoke quickly, "I just got one way because I wasn't sure how long you'd want to stay."
Yukio glanced through the email before setting the phone down and immediately wrapping his arms around Toshiro's body again.
"Gods, I am so lucky to have you," the blonde murmured into Toshiro's shoulder, kissing his collar bone softly, "I love you."
Toshiro's body froze at the sudden declaration of love, but Yukio wasn't deterred, continuing to hug him. Yukio loved him. He hadn't said that before, but he'd said it now, and he loved Toshiro. The prodigy had to take deep, even breaths to recover; he'd known his own feelings for a long time, but he'd never vocalised them in case Yukio hadn't said it back or wasn't comfortable with it yet. But now, Yukio had said it, and the white haired boy's heart was swelling. With a nervous smile, Toshiro also admitted his feelings.
"I love you too."
…
Karakura was… nice.
Well, it had the potential to be nice. A lot of the houses and older shops were run down and the narrow streets were littered with rubbish and broken glass, but without that, Karakura was rather quaint; old-fashioned buildings and lamp posts, no traffic and no sounds but the singing of birds high up in the trees. Toshiro was sure that if the alcohol and drug issue was ever resolved, Yukio's hometown might become a nice place to live one day, or even just to holiday away from the big city for a while. With a dry community, Toshiro would probably be happy to settle down and raise a couple of kids here; Karakura had a small population, and therefore the potential for a close, tightknit community with a small primary school. Sure there wasn't a whole lot of opportunities here, but a child could grow up safe and happy, with a close group of friends, where they could ride their bikes in the streets until dusk.
'Could' being the important term, since Karakura did, in fact, have a severe drug problem and Toshiro would never raise a child in that sort of environment.
Yukio had been very quiet all morning as well as on the train, and Toshiro tried to give him some space while also keeping a close eye on him. He'd come to the conclusion that the blonde was still in shock and silently trying to process the news; Toshiro figured that coming back here would be hard on Yukio – especially given the recent events – and might just push him over the edge, forcing him to confront his grief. The teal eyed boy would be there the whole time, so if Yukio did crash, he wouldn't be alone; Toshiro would help him through it.
"This is it," Yukio stopped abruptly in front of a derelict yellow house, hitching his bag further over his shoulder.
Toshiro glanced at the neglected home; paint was peeling all over the place, the windows were cracked and dirty, cobwebs hung in every available corner, the lawn was way over grown and various tools, shoes and general junk littered the front steps. The prodigy snuck a look at Yukio – who stood still and impassive – and had to wonder if the house had always been so unkempt or if it had just become that way since his departure.
"Do you want to go in?" Toshiro asked timidly, rubbing his boyfriend's knuckles with his thumb; they'd held hands all the way from the train station, which Toshiro was surprised Yukio wanted to do but he was more than happy to comply.
Yukio nodded, and together they ducked under some of the police tape that still lined the small property and walked up the front path (the word 'path' being used loosely). The police had removed the bodies and collected whatever evidence they were after, and Yukio had a meeting with them this afternoon to discuss the pending investigation. His 'good' aunt, Mary, was due to arrive tomorrow to begin the funeral preparation; she was his mother's older sister who lived near Brighton, and apparently the only relative of his that was – quote – 'still worth talking to'.
The door wasn't locked, and Yukio pushed it open with very little effort. Toshiro held his breath as they slipped through the threshold and into Yukio's childhood home; he was afraid of what they might find.
The place was a mess; a huge, disgusting mess.
It wasn't hard to tell why Yukio had insisted they stay at a hotel, i.e. above the tavern, as it was the only place of accommodation in the town. Dirty dishes and glasses were stacked around the sink, on the kitchen table, on the coffee table – basically everywhere – and were covered in armies of ants. The floor looked like it had never been swept or vacuumed, and Toshiro tried to cover his mouth and nose subtly between breaths –partially because of the dust which was sure to trigger his allergies, and partially because of the smell. Yukio led him through the kitchen and lounge room and into a narrow hallway with three doors; he ignored the two on the right, but opened the door on the left, flicking on the light an illuminating the room inside.
Toshiro couldn't stop the audible gasp that left him; the room was clearly Yukio's old bedroom, but it was in ruins. The windows were smashed, the mattress slashed and overturned, the walls had been cracked – probably punched – and drawn on. Toshiro tried to quell his building anger at the words written on the walls; 'fag', 'asshole', 'wanker'… well, the list went on and got steadily worse, Toshiro had to look away. Everything was covered in dirt, dust and mould, the smell of mildew was overwhelming; the room had obviously been left in that state for some time now.
"Parents?" Toshiro asked through a clenched jaw, but he hoped beyond belief that some kids had broken in instead, and his parents somehow hadn't noticed it.
"Charming, weren't they?" Yukio muttered, "Can't give them all the credit though, Shuuhei probably helped."
He was about to close the door when Toshiro spotted something familiar on the floor, releasing Yukio's hand and moving into the room to pick it up. He almost smiled as he squinted his eyes to identify it.
"Babe?"
The boy genius hurried back to his boyfriend's side and handed over the torn and slightly faded picture. Yukio turned it over in his hand and after a second the corners of his mouth began to twitch upwards into a sly grin.
"I cut this out of a magazine when I was fourteen," Yukio murmured, his thumb smoothing out some of the wrinkles, "My first crush."
The magazine cut out was of a photoshoot Colin Morgan, AKA Merlin, had done many years ago. Toshiro recognised it because it had been released alongside an article promoting the BBC television show, and of course, had been accompanied by many pictures of Colin Morgan's co-star, Bradley James, AKA Arthur, AKA possibly one of the hottest blonde men to ever live – Yukio was still number one.
"I can't believe it's still here," Yukio chuckled a little, and Toshiro was glad to see some happiness on that face, since the twenty year old had not smiled once today – not that he had expected him to, but still, it was nice to see a small ray of joy come over Yukio.
"Keep it," Toshiro grinned, "I still have the Bradley James pictures from that shoot; we could put them together?"
Yukio laughed again but nevertheless folded the Colin picture neatly and tucked it into his pocket.
They left the house soon after; Yukio had a quick look throughout the house to see if there was anything of his that he'd left behind and was still intact – there wasn't – or anything of his parents' that he might of wanted to keep – there wasn't. Toshiro offered to start cleaning up but Yukio told him not to bother, since they would never be coming back.
…
It was the fourth night of their stay in Karakura when Yukio finally cracked.
The low-budget double funeral had been held earlier that day, and no one had attended but Toshiro, Yukio and his aunt Mary. Yukio had refused to write a eulogy, but Mary said a few kind words of goodbye. Other than that, the funeral was exceptionally plain, with no music, no photographs and only a small bouquet of flowers spread over both wooden coffins for decoration. The curtains closed, and Yukio tugged Toshiro out of the tiny chapel, calling over his shoulder to Mary, asking her to 'take care of the rest', that is, asking her to decide what to do with the ashes.
They had returned back to their room above the tavern, where Toshiro had gotten steadily more and more concerned about Yukio's reaction, or lack thereof. Yes, the twenty year old had a bad relationship with his parents, but did he really not feel anything at all after their deaths? Toshiro didn't believe that; Yukio was hiding his pain, or pushing it back, but it was definitely there and so far only leaking through with the odd angry snap. Toshiro didn't want Yukio to get mad at him like he had that night outside the club, so he remained silent, leaving Mary, the police, the funeral attendant and the tavern staff to cop it.
"I made you tea," Toshiro murmured, placing the steaming mug on the coffee table in front of his boyfriend, who sat glaring out of the window at the tavern courtyard below them.
"Thanks," Yukio muttered without looking up or moving in the slightest.
"What do you feel like for dinner tonight?" the white haired boy asked; he could tell Yukio was in a bad mood, but the fact was that there was no kitchen in their room – aside from a bar fridge and a kettle – and they hadn't eaten since breakfast.
"I don't care," the blonde replied, his voice quiet but tense, "You choose."
Toshiro backed off silently; he knew Yukio was doing his best not snap at him since the night he'd found out about his parents, but the week had been hard on him with every little thing stacking up against him, and he was still yet to express any of his feelings. Toshiro knew what it was like to try and bury feelings and it never worked out well; Yukio would burst eventually, and would be an absolute mess when he did. Toshiro swore to be there when it happened; he would do almost anything for his beautiful boyfriend, just as Yukio would do for him. As much as he didn't want to see Yukio upset, the blonde needed to get out these emotions, and preferably soon because it was getting harder for Toshiro to remain calm when he was snapped at.
Flicking through the few restaurant take away menus they'd picked up – there was a total of three restaurants in Karakura; Golden Phoenix Chinese, Joe's Pizza and Karakura Seafood – Toshiro eventually decided to order a pizza. He requested no pineapple for Yukio's sake, even though usually if they were going to order a whole pizza to share, they'd get pineapple on it and Yukio would pick his off and give them to Toshiro, and the prodigy would do the same with his olives.
The room was silent while they waited, Yukio still glaring out the window and not touching his now-cold tea while Toshiro tried to avoid staring at him with a worried expression. In the end, Toshiro went out to collect the pizza instead of waiting for it to be delivered, trying to give Yukio some space while clearing his own mind.
When he returned to the room about thirty minutes later, Mary was there but appeared to be leaving as she stood, collecting her coat and umbrella.
"I'm heading home tomorrow," She said, her long blonde-turning-grey hair had been swept up into a messy bun since the funeral, "Please call more often, Yukio, I do miss my favourite nephew."
"I'm your only nephew," Yukio pointed out, his frown deep; the twenty year old still had not moved from the seat Toshiro had left him in.
"And a cheeky one at that," Mary smiled a little, leaning down to kiss Yukio's forehead, "Bye, sweetheart."
The older woman turned away before spotting Toshiro in the doorway. The prodigy only just managed to pop the pizza down on the counter before he was engulfed in warm arms. He liked Mary; she reminded him of a female Jushiro – she warm, caring and affectionate, and he was glad that Yukio got that from at least one family member. Aunty Mary was on the bigger side, so her hugs were strong and she seemed to completely surround her target in a squishy wall of comforting heat. Although she tried to cover it up with expensive perfume, she had the distinctive smell of old people and reminded Toshiro very much of his grandmother and how much he missed her.
"I'm sure I'll see you again, Toshiro," Mary whispered to him, "Yukio is absolutely smitten over you."
"You can leave now," Yukio, with his supersonic hearing, called from his place by the window. Toshiro couldn't see his face, but he imagined a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.
"Take care of him," Mary ignored her nephew, "And make sure he calls me."
Toshiro chuckled, "I will."
Releasing him, Mary blew a kiss over her shoulder at Yukio before waddling out of the door. The gamer rolled his eyes before returning his gaze to the window while Toshiro placed the pizza in front of him and then turned away to pour them some lemonade; Yukio's favourite soft drink.
"You didn't get pineapple this time?" Yukio asked when Toshiro returned with their drinks and sat opposite him.
"You don't like pineapple," Toshiro handed over a couple of serviettes as Yukio picked a slice out of the box.
"But you do," the blonde countered, his visible emerald eye flicking up to meet Toshiro's teal irises.
The prodigy shrugged half-heartedly, "I didn't feel like it tonight."
Yukio sighed and leant back into his chair, taking his first bit of pizza. Half an hour slipped by in silence as the two boys consumed their dinner. The blonde seemed to be brooding again, mulling over his thoughts wordlessly, and Toshiro resisted the urge to climb over the small coffee table and into his boyfriend's lap just to cuddle him. He hated that Yukio was suffering – however silently – and he just wanted to make him happy again.
"What did Mary do with the ashes?" Toshiro asked eventually, not being able to stand the endless silence any longer.
"Buried them in the park," Yukio murmured, staring intently at his glass of lemonade, "Planted a tree on top. She's a bit of an environmentalist."
"That's a nice gesture."
"She wants us to come back and visit the tree."
"Well, we could do that, it's only a few hours on the trai-"
"We're never coming back here."
Yukio's words were drawn out, but they were strong and decisive, his voice had risen although he wasn't shouting, and venom practically spat from his mouth. Toshiro froze instantly; he could see his boyfriend's hands trembling slightly while the rest of his body was abnormally rigid.
Yukio was hurting.
Toshiro could see it; the thin cracks beginning to appear, the walls beginning to strain under the immense pressure of emotional turmoil. He took a deep breath; Yukio was about to snap big time.
"It's okay to be upset about it," Toshiro whispered; he knew before he even said it that it would make Yukio mad, but it was time for the blonde to confront his grief. It wasn't healthy to hold on to it, and the little genius saw an opportunity now that he could see the emotional strains physically affecting Yukio's body. That, and he was done walking on egg shells around his partner.
"Upset?" Yukio spat, his temper rising, "I'm not upset about my parents dying. I haven't seen or spoken to them in two years, so why would I care if they died?!"
The twenty year old was almost yelling now and Toshiro had to refrain from flinching back. He needed to get Yukio to snap, otherwise he'd keep burying his feelings and suffer longer than he needed to.
"Because they were your parents," Toshiro said evenly.
"They were shitty parents!" Yukio yelled, his beautiful green eye consumed by anger and piercing holes through Toshiro's own, "If anything, I am just angry that they died! How dare they die without apologizing to me or even calling just to see if I was still alive."
Toshiro shook his head, "You're not angry though; you're hurt."
That too had apparently been the wrong, or very right, thing to say. Yukio stood abruptly, knocking over his glass of lemonade and proceeded to stomp around the room. He could leave if he wanted to, but Toshiro knew he wouldn't. Yukio unconsciously wanted comfort from Toshiro, so he wouldn't leave the room, although until he admitted that he wanted that, he was just going to trudge around the place, hissing obscenities.
The prodigy stood slowly, collecting their serviettes and mopping up the spilt lemonade – fortunately, the glass hadn't broken – before putting the soaked napkins in the nearest bin.
"You're hurting because they didn't reach out to you," Toshiro said calmly, continuing to busy himself as he cleaned around his furious partner, "You feel guilty that you never did the same, and now they're gone, so you'll never be able to."
Yukio laughed, but not his usual happy laugh – this one was cold, bitter and caused his mouth to twist frighteningly.
"Did you get that from one of your psychology textbooks?"
"No," Toshiro shrugged, "I just know you, and I know grief."
"I'm not grieving!" Yukio lashed out again, flopping back onto the bed and covering his eyes with his arm.
Toshiro knew they were getting closer; Yukio was about to cry, and was using the harsh lighting as an excuse to cover his eyes, but in reality, his eyes were beginning to sting for a different reason. The prodigy didn't say anything more as he sat soundlessly on the bed beside his boyfriend; Yukio was about to come to him and he'd wait patiently.
In truth, he was getting some of this from his university readings, but most of it was coming from his own experiences and just how well he knew Yukio. A long time ago, Granny kicked him out for being gay; she'd said 'My grandson is not gay because I don't have a grandson.' Toshiro had thought he was angry too at first, but later he discovered that he was just hurt, but either way he'd never tried to fix the broken relationship. That was until she got sick. He called her straightaway after hearing the news; if she passed away, he didn't want to spend the rest of his life knowing he never at least tried to rebuild that bridge. With her newfound appreciation for life and family, Granny had ended up apologizing to him, and although their relationship was still a bit stiff – she only called on Christmas day, and Toshiro only called for her birthday – he was glad to have somewhat fixed things between them.
"You grieve!" Yukio hissed under his arm, "You cried when I told you my parents died and you didn't even meet them."
"I didn't cry for your parents," Toshiro murmured, reaching an arm out to stroke Yukio's hair but he was smacked away instantly, "I cried for you."
"For me," Yukio scoffed.
"Yes, for you," Toshiro repeated, "Because you lost your parents. I hate that you're hurting like this."
"I'm not fucking hurting!" the gamer spat again, although his voice was now wavering and his chest was heaving in a way that suggested he was finding it harder to breathe,
"Look at me," Toshiro demanded softly, hand making it into the blonde locks without being stopped this time.
Yukio shook his head in refusal as Toshiro repeated his request. The prodigy literally had all night and was happy to wait. His hand slid through blonde locks effortlessly, and he pushed back his boyfriend's fringe so that when he did remove his arm, Toshiro would be looking into both of his beautiful eyes.
It took a long time, but eventually the arm was removed and Yukio sat up. He glared at Toshiro hard, but the prodigy did not recoil this time. Fury, heartbreak and misery flashed in those eyes and Toshiro cupped his boyfriend's cheek, stroking his cheekbone tenderly. The glare intensified but the older boy did not move away. Not long now…
"They were the shittest people I've ever had the misfortune to meet," Yukio growled, "Why the fuck would I grieve their death?"
Toshiro grimaced, but repeated one of his earlier lines;
"Because they were your parents."
And then it happened.
Yukio began to chuckle, gradually building up into a manic and insane fit of laughter. It only took about thirty seconds before those laughs turned to sobs, and soon tears were rolling down his cheeks and dripping into his lap. He slumped sideways into Toshiro's chest and the prodigy held him tightly, just like he had outside the club, but this time Yukio actually wanted to be comforted.
They sat like that for a long time; Yukio cried onto Toshiro's chest, thoroughly drenching the prodigy's shirt and hugging the nineteen year old's waist desperately. Toshiro knew Yukio had to get it all out, but it was hurting him so much to see his boyfriend in such a state. All he could do was hold him, and continue to stroke his head, planting the odd kiss on his crown and whispering sweet nothings into the gamer's ear.
When Yukio's sobs turned to quiet sniffles, Toshiro helped his boyfriend out of his funeral clothes, leaving him in just his boxers before tucking him into bed. The teal eyed boy undressed himself quickly and moved around the room flicking off the lights before climbing back onto the bed himself. He plucked a few tissues from his night stand and wiped Yukio's eyes, cheeks and nose softly as the blonde snuggled closer.
"I should have called," Yukio's voice was hoarse, "Or visited. I was just so angry at them, I didn't even say goodbye before I left."
"You can say goodbye now," Toshiro murmured, rubbing the blonde's back.
"Do we have time to visit their tree tomorrow?" Yukio asked.
"Yes, of course," Toshiro smiled as Yukio's breathing began to steady out. The blonde managed to slur out a thank you before only the sounds of his deep even breaths filled the tiny pub room.
…
Toshiro watched quietly as Yukio leant down in front of the baby tree, and spread some light pink rose petals around the freshly planted base. They couldn't actually get any flowers on such late notice, but managed to cut a couple of roses off one of Yukio's neighbour's bushes. The blonde had grinned in his usual cheeky way at the idea, since "Mum and Dad hated her, so they'll probably be amused."
It seemed Yukio was feeling much better after his emotional explosion last night. It was rare for the gamer to be awake before Toshiro, but the prodigy had woken up that morning to his boyfriend smiling down at him while he raked his fingers through Toshiro's snow coloured locks. The blonde had murmured numerous thank you's as he began peppering kisses over the nineteen year old's face, as well as dropping the odd apology for his snappy behaviour, but Toshiro had told him not to say sorry for that; it was just his way of dealing with tragedy.
"I hated you both for a long time," Yukio spoke to the tree, "I hate you for turning to drugs and alcohol. I hated you for spending more time at the pub than with me. I hated you for not coming to get me when I left for London."
The blonde's voice cracked a little, and Toshiro took a step forward to rest his hand reassuringly on the top of Yukio's head.
"But I don't hate you anymore," Yukio continued, wiping away a stray tear, "In fact, I miss you two - and I wish I had come home earlier. Maybe I could have helped you."
Toshiro felt a weight against his thigh and saw Yukio resting his head against his leg, and the young genius began to thread his hand through the blonde hair he'd fallen in love with. The gesture had become a source of comfort between them now.
The twenty year old stood, intertwining Toshiro's fingers with his own. Teal irises met blue and green, and Yukio smiled through watery eyes.
"Do you feel better now?" Toshiro asked, reaching up to wipe another runaway tear from his boyfriend's cheek.
"Much better," Yukio exhaled shakily, and reached down to kiss Toshiro's lips lightly, "Thank you."
"Stop thanking me," Toshiro flushed a little, and Yukio chuckled before pulling him in for a hug.
"I don't know what Rukia is talking about," the blonde laughed, "Blushing Tosh hasn't gone anywhere."
Toshiro shoved him away playfully, but allowed Yukio to continue holding his hand. They left the small tree, picking up their bags and setting off in the direction of the train station.
"I love you," Yukio teased, tugging the prodigy closer and releasing his hand in favour of wrapping his arm around the nineteen year old's shoulders.
Toshiro huffed, grumbling his response, "I love you too."
He was glad that Yukio had finally found peace.
…
One chapter to go, guys! I have a serious problem with procrastination right now, so sorry about the wait :/
Please review xoxo