One Last Fairytale (Bonus Story): She Will Be Loved
"Look, that was the so called Ice Princess."
"True to her name, she's so cold and haughty, just looking at her eyes would've freeze me."
"Who did she think she was? She wouldn't have been standing here if it wasn't because of King Arthur."
"I swear that she certainly look ten times prettier if it wasn't because of that face…"
Natalia ignored all the insulting comments coming from the court ladies as she walked down the hallway. Toris met her and greeted her with a small smile before escorting her towards the dining hall. Usually, she'd rather walk by herself but seeing Toris so willingly doing his job, she just can't argue with him.
Upon entering the room, she was greeted by Arthur and Francis. Arthur's face broke into a smile as he saw her and went up to hug her, which Natalia found it uncomfortable but decided not to raise a voice since her father was so overwhelmed with emotion. After all, he was the person who raised her up since her mother had long gone.
Natalia never had much memories about her mother, but she remembered every single thing about her brother distinctively. Ever since when she was brought into the world, frail, naked, squealing and wailing, she has gotten to taste the sense of comfort (of sort for a child) the moment her brother carried her. She liked her brother's platinum blonde locks, chubby cheeks and striking purple eyes, and the scarf that was always so warm and comfort when hold onto.
And since then, Natalia has set her eyes on her big brother Ivan. Nobody knew about her intention and Ivan seemed scared by her behaviour, yet she made a wish that she will marry her brother when she grew older.
"How was your journey here, ma petite fille? It must be tired to travel for so long." Francis came up to ask her after Arthur released her from the hug.
"No, it's not much trouble." Natalia said, her face emotionless. "I had enough rest throughout the journey."
"My, you have grown so much since the last time we saw you. How had things goes in the Northern Kingdom?" Arthur asked.
Natalia blinked a while, her fathers were getting annoying already, but still answered politely as how a noble lady would do. "There's been some unease and riots in some other places, but the situation is still under control so don't worry about it too much."
Arthur seemed like he was going to pose another question but Francis hushed him. He then made a gesture for them to take a seat on the dining table. Both Arthur and Natalia complied and took their seat on the table arranged for them as they waited for the food to be served while enjoying some rare family reunion moment.
Over the time, Natalia had come to accept Arthur and Francis as her parents. Even though they sometime got on her nerves but she still cared for them. She never had much memories of her mother, though someone told her that she died on an incident when Natalia was still a baby. Perhaps that was why she relied on Arthur and Francis so much, they were her parents who provided her a home where she and her brother could be sheltered.
But then, not too long after that, Arthur and Francis had their own children, a pair of princes called Alfred and Matthew. Since then, they paid more attention towards the twins rather than Natalia and her brother. True, they did tried to spend some time among the little children but Natalia somehow felt strayed off as she realized, that Arthur and Francis can never treated her the same way as how they treated both Alfred and Matthew, she was just an adopted child. Yet, she can't brought herself to hate them, they were her only family, the only comfort they could provide for her. Moreover, Alfred and Matthew were just innocent, little boys who were even younger than her, she can't just simply throw her tantrums at them as she wished.
As Arthur and Francis cared more for Alfred and Matthew, Natalia turned to her brother in hope to seek for his attention instead. At first, she enjoyed it but that feeling slowly died out as well when her brother has become a teenager. No matter how or when she found him, he would always ended up locked in his room or not there, it's like he was avoiding her on purpose. As the sibling rarely saw each other, there won't stand a chance for them to speak to each other at all. Natalia finally understood why her brother never bothered about her. It's because he had his eyes set on a servant boy called Yao. Her brother would only smiled when Yao was around and they would share intimate touches and things she never know. That saddened her even deeper, but she was not willing to cry it all out. And she continued living on, occasionally having the boys and Kiku as company but she never told anyone of her own problem.
"The food is going to be served soon. Where's Alfred?" Arthur asked impatiently as the three of them sat at the table waiting for the crown prince to come.
"Maybe we should just start without him. He's probably busy or something with tonight's event." Francis said. "Speaking which, Ivan should also join us too. And he's not here as well."
Natalia perked up a little at the mentioned of Alfred and her brother, Ivan. "How were Alfred and Ivan now?" She had been particularly worried about those two ever since THAT incident.
"They are alright and had finally opened up." Arthur assured her. "Though they rarely spoke to us now and they usually hide away from us."
Natalia might be able to understand that. The moment when everyone grows up, they began searching for their comfort zone and personal space that they would keep it away from anyone, even those who were close to them. Her brothers were the same, and so does her.
A servant knocked on the door before entering the dining hall. He informed the three of them that both princes have some business to attend to and were unable to attend the feast. At this point, Natalia noticed Arthur frowned a little while Francis just shrugged helplessly.
"I guess we would have to start without zhem." Francis said.
"I thought I taught them better when there's someone special rather than decline. That was so rude of them." Arthur grumbled as the servant began serving them food.
"Maybe they had something really important or an emergency." Francis said trying to assure Arthur. Arthur scowled but didn't say a word.
Natalia just dug into her food eagerly, hoping for some peaceful silence. Inside, she was a little disappointed that she was unable to see Alfred and her brother, but she just can't complain, not like she could persuade them or something. All she just wanted to do is to see for herself whether they were alright.
Eleven years ago, the unexpected incident had left a scar on everyone's heart who had been involved in it, particularly her brother and Alfred. At first, she just thought that horrible nightmare was just a dream, but she never thought it would happen. Thanks to all that, she and Kiku managed to flee to safety, but Yao died because he tried to protect them. And until now, she still blamed herself for not warning everyone about it, nobody knew though. But she still felt herself to be blamed for causing Matthew and Yao to die.
That day, after all the riots were over, she and Kiku were discovered by Arthur and Francis and brought them to the garden. Arthur informed the children about Matthew and Yao's death. Alfred and Ivan burst into tears in mere seconds, Kiku stayed still but she noticed that his dark brown eyes were glazed. She could never understood why people were crying, though she felt there was something painful and piecing beneath her, she just can't comprehend.
After that day, things began to go worse. Alfred and her brother shut themselves and refused to eat nor come out. She tried to find her brother but he was blinded from Yao's death and Natalia realized that there's no way her brother would love her with the way her loved Yao. And then, she felt like crying again but hold herself again. So people cry is when they really feel sad and in pain… That's how she told herself whenever she wanted to cry or when other people are crying.
The family of three finished their meal quicker than what Natalia had expected. After the meal, she was grateful that the servant came in to inform both kings regarding some issues they have to tend to, which allows her to attend to her own business.
Natalia excused herself and left the dining hall, Toris behind her. As she walked down the hallway towards her room, she came across several windows that allowed her to see the garden outside. The High Princess took a peak out of the window and saw the oriental servant boy standing in the midst of the garden caressing the flowers. Natalia bit her lip as she watched him stroke one of the roses, Alfred's favourite flower.
"Is there something wrong, my princess?" Toris asked. "If you need that servant boy right now, I will go and get him for you."
Natalia held out a hand and shook her head. "No, I don't need him at the moment. I just want to make sure he was alright." She said as she recalled back the past again, no matter how hard she tried, her efforts were just wasted.
Time flies, Arthur had requested that the castle remained shut after that incident so that they could take some time to heal their wounds. The royals from other kingdom were also send back. She was once again left alone. That was when she began her bond with Kiku, seeing that the boy had lost his only family member and banished by his Master Alfred, he was just as broken as she does. The two began to spend their time together in the castle to the point where they would sleep together, read together and walked along together.
At some point of time after the mourning ceremony, Alfred seemed to have opened up, but Kiku was not happy. She noticed something was off him as well, seeing that Alfred no longer saw Kiku in his eyes and their relationship continued to strain. The same thing goes for Natalia and her brother. Natalia always noticed that her brother's smile was a bit forced and something off. She never saw him as the brother she knew before. And Natalia knew for sure that her brother's had his love for Yao, she was nothing but his sister. Slowly, she began to stray away from her brother as well and got along with Kiku instead.
And again, the second separation came sooner than she thought. Vash and Liech had come to bring her back to her birthplace, the Northern Kingdom where she will inherit the throne that once belonged to her mother. Albeit reluctant, Arthur had made up his mind to send her back to where she belonged. She had not much say in this, but it was her responsibility, so she just had to go according to plan.
Kiku was not happy that Natalia was leaving either. She understood that he felt lonely staying beneath the castle of Main Hetalia working as a servant. Moreover, Alfred no longer cared for him, it sadden him even more that it twisted Natalia's heart seeing the servant having to suffer this all alone.
"Hey Kiku, will you come with me to the Northern Kingdom?" That was more like a request rather than a question. The servant boy seemed to ponder at first but agreed at last and the two set off to the Northern Kingdom.
Over the years, Natalia had tried to spend as much time as possible together with Kiku whenever she wasn't busy. Truth to say, she was hoping that Kiku would fall for her, since he was dumped by Alfred and she felt herself attracting towards the timid but intelligent servant boy. Yet, she was disappointed once again.
She noticed that Kiku continued to stray off in thought and became even quieter and reclusive than his usual self. At first, she thought he was homesick or some sort but as time went on, she realized that she can never took him away from Alfred. After all, Kiku never return her feelings, the person whom he always had in mind was Alfred. She was angry when she knew about this, but finally accepted it as she learnt that love cannot be forced upon, so she ended up supporting Kiku in pursuing his dream to win over Alfred.
There's only one thing Natalia wished, she wanted to be happy, to find someone whom she could love with her whole being and having those feelings in return. Yet, things can never be as simple as one would expected it to be. It hurt her to see those people suffer because of love, she was of no exception. First, Arthur, then her brother Ivan, followed by Kiku. No matter how hard she tried to win over their heart, they never viewed her the same way she viewed them as. They only saw her as an adopted daughter, sister or mistress, but nothing else more than that.
Slowly, she lost her hope and stopped yearning for someone to love her. Instead, she began to help those around her in hope that their happiness could drown away her sorrow. It was a good thing to do, she thought so, but whenever she sees people rejoicing over their love, she would felt something missing, something empty in one corner of her heart no matter how happy she felt for them.
On that night, Natalia and the other royalties were in the throne room greeting the guests. Tonight was a rather huge event, considering the length of guest they had invited. Arthur had even specially requested the list to be extended to all eligible young man or woman no matter what status they were. It was a fine idea after all, seeing that Alfred was given a wide choice of selection to choose the person whom he could truly love and marry with. But then, there was a risk as well, there were many people who were aftering the crown and the throne just because they were greedy of having a leisure life. They would do anything just in hope to win over Crown Prince Alfred's heart in order to secure their place in the royalties, that won't be a nice thing at all. Natalia wished for anything but those two option, she hoped that Alfred had the right mind enough to make up something good, she just don't want to see both Alfred or Kiku's happiness being destroyed by an unhappy marriage.
Natalia spent some time dancing with the crowd to show some courtesy. But once in a while, her eyes would dart towards Kiku and Alfred. She was glad that she brought Kiku to Main Hetalia and persuaded him to take part in this masquerade ball. The servant boy seemed to enjoy his time doing something that only aristocrat would enjoy. At the other hand, Alfred seemed annoyed dancing with certain pesky lady that tried to woo him with all sort of sugary lies.
By the time when Natalia decided to retire from dancing, she noticed the crown prince dragging Kiku out of the ballroom. Upon seeing this, she had a smile ghosted over her lips, it seemed like everything was going as she had planned.
"My princess, would you like a drink?" Toris asked her as he offered her a glass of wine. Her smile vanished instantly, but still accepted the glass of wine before taking a small sip.
"Say, my lady, are you enjoying tonight?" The young knight asked and accompanied her to the balcony.
"I'm just glad that everything was going smoothly. That servant seemed to enjoy his time tonight as well." Natalia said coldly.
There were less people in the balcony, only some coming out to catch their breath or have some rest. The High Princess leaned on the balcony railing as she watched the garden outside. From above, she could see Alfred leading Kiku out into the garden near the pond where they would play together when they were young. She smiled a little at the sight of it, thinking how good it was that the two finally meet and fell for each other so instantly.
"Speaking of which, my lady, you seem to be enjoying your time being here as well." Toris stuck a statement boldly as if he was trying to make Natalia angry. The High Princess glared at him before her expression changed into that of her calculated look and calmly sipped her wine. "I suppose you are right." She murmured.
"I'm sorry if I insult anything, but I would like to ask. Why are you so concern about that servant boy? I understand that you arranged him as your attendant because he was the closest one to you, but you even go that far to arrange him to attend such event just so that he could meet the Crown Prince. Just what are you thinking?"
I did it because I love him, Natalia whispered silently in her mind. She had Kiku in her eyes the moment when she finally gave up on her brother. She hoped that bringing Kiku with her would help him forget about Alfred and she will eventually win over him. But in the end, it didn't work. Natalia realized that Alfred forever lived in Kiku and he missed him even more. And she also learnt that neither she nor Kiku will be happy if she forced Kiku into their relationship, so she decided to let Kiku go.
"I just think that the servant deserves some time of his life for himself. Moreover, it seemed like he liked the prince, so is there any problem with that?"
Toris just blushed a little when Natalia made eye contact with him as he bowed to her in hope to hide his blush. "N-No… Er… Nothing at all, my lady. T-That's very considerate for you to think about him…"
At that moment, there was a melodious tune coming out from the inside. Toris took this as a cue and held out his hand towards Natalia. "My princess, it's getting late. But if you don't mind, would you have one last dance with me tonight?"
Natalia looked like she wanted to reject but the look on Toris' face reflected how sincere he was that she cannot come up with an excuse. A bit reluctant, she accepted Toris' offer and they began dancing on the dance floor again.
Natalia first met Toris eleven years ago in this very same location and the very same day. It was a few days before tragedy struck, on Alfred's and Matthew's birthday. That time, Toris was a young trainee knight. He lost his family during the collapse of the Old Northern Kingdom.
The young knight in training was brought to the castle of Main Hetalia where he was on duty. Before the start of the ceremony, the young knight was standing guard in the ballroom as the royals were busy greeting guests flocking into the castle. Toris soon got bored of his duty and his emerald green eyes began scanning all over the place to find himself some amusement. At this moment, his eyes landed on a beautiful girl with a mop of silvery blonde hair adorned with a white ribbon and blue eyes with a matching frilly blue dress. Toris couldn't help but feel himself attracted to her and yearned to get closer to her.
It was not too long after that he was dismissed from standing guard and was allowed to have some free time to himself. Almost instantly, he went up to the young girl standing at the corner and tried to talk to her.
"Ex… Excuse me, lady…" Toris made a beeline towards her and tried to talk to her but the girl turned her head away as if she did not noticed him. "M-My lady... W-Would you mind... if I request?" He attempted once again. And this time she answered him and he cringed a little at how icy her tone sounded.
"Are you talking to me?" Blue eyes narrowed and eyed him cautiously as she backed away a bit.
"M-May I... Have this dance w-with you?" He asked, feeling a little unnerved by her behaviour. The girl seemed like she was going to reject his offer but she still reluctantly held out her hand and took his offer. "... Alright... But just this dance."
That was chilling but awesome first dance Toris had ever enjoyed. The two ended up dancing for more than an hour and they really enjoyed in it. Even though Natalia treated him coldly throughout the day, he found that she was quite cute especially when he complemented her or when she accidentally stepped on his foot and her face would flared up embarrassingly.
It was later that day he learnt from some of the gossiping soldiers that the young lady in blue was known as the notorious 'ice princess' and heir to the Northern Kingdom throne. Although not much people know about her, the knight spread rumours that she was a witch who would freeze you the moment eye contact was made. It was also rumoured that she cannot smile at all because she was said to have a very psychotic personality. Toris, however, do not believe in such things. In fact, he noticed several things was off with the princess, especially those deep dark blue eyes that reflected infinite uncertainty in it.
There was something sad in those eyes, a yearning for something… Surely it must have been hard on her since she had lost her mother when she was just a baby, so she must've wanted some attention. Although King Arthur took her in, he had other children in his hands as well, that did not help her much at all. And since then, he made a vow to himself that he will protect Natalia no matter what the next when they finally meet again.
By the time when they finished their dance steps, the music stopped and they heard the clock struck midnight, signalling the end of the day. The two break off the moment when the music ended. Natalia went off to bid their guests together with other royalties while Toris had to stand guard. She noticed that Alfred was not in the scene and she knew the reason but decided not to tell anyone about it. She just hoped that Kiku listened to her word and left the dance before midnight.
The High Princess was sure that she did not hold any feeling for the knight. Yet, she felt something tugged at her heart as if it was yearning to be with him. And recently, her fathers had been pestering her to find herself a suitable husband at such time being. They were not going to force her though, she knew they that they were worried about her future and her happiness. It bothered her, she didn't thought that it would happen so soon.
"Say Natalia, have you found yourself a suitable spouse?" Francis questioned during lunch time when she finally arrived in Main Hetalia.
Natalia kept quiet at the moment and felt herself tensed up. She did not expected her fathers would come up with such questions at such time. She was not in the mood in finding someone she loved yet, not when she had lost her heart more than once.
Arthur smiled gently as he spoke, "Natalia, I know you might not be ready for this. But this is also part of your responsibility, you just can't rule the kingdom all by yourself."
Silence followed again. But it's not fair, if my marriage is all about responsibility, then what about my happiness? Of course, Natalia was not the kind to follow rules bluntly. She has always been yearning for something she deeply wishes for, an understanding and love from someone whom she could truly trust and be happy with, not just a mere marriage out of political reason.
"Speaking which, you should find yourself a suitable king in the ball tonight." Arthur advised her. "Don't keep your hopes down. I'm sure there's someone there for you."
The night began as usual where she would greet the guests before the dance began. This time, Natalia resorted to observing the crowd not too far away from the balcony. Toris noticed her discomfort came up by her side and offered her a glass of wine.
"You don't seem like you're enjoying the night today, my princess." The knight commented politely. "Is there something going on in your mind?"
"Same for you." Natalia said as she sipped her wine. "Aren't you supposed to be flirting with young ladies or watching guard tonight?"
The knight smiled a little as he gulped down his own glass of wine. "I don't really have standing guard duty at the moment since it's my own duty to keep watch of the High Princess." He said, "And I don't feel like flirting with young women, that was something improper for a knight. Moreover, I'd rather danced with the person I like rather than someone I don't even know."
Natalia scoffed a bit as she laughed coldly. "If you'd say that in front of the public, you would have lose your head, consider that I forgive you this time."
"But I'm serious, my lady." Toris said. "Just you wait and see."
Natalia just ignored him as she scanned the crowd. Alfred seemed fed up having to dance with the ladies who intended on wooing him. She don't have to worry him anymore because she knew that he already had his eyes set on Kiku, that left with the persuasion and acceptance from the family but that could be cared later. Her blue eyes darted around another corner to see her brother with that High Prince of Western Kingdom at the dining area. He was the same as usual, a faked happiness but an empty heart that had broken years ago. She could just watch silently as the albino prince attempted to stop his drinking habit and tried to comfort him even though her brother had a bad broke up with him. She just hope that Gilbert will heal her brother's broken heart and made him realized that he deserved to have his own Happily Ever After.
And the third night came and went and the event was soon over. That night in particular, Natalia saw Alfred taking his leave from the throne room a few minutes before midnight. She knew that he was putting himself in trouble but he would be in greater trouble if he did not do so. Natalia didn't plan on disturbing other people's business but she caught sight of her brother following Alfred at a distance behind. Curiosity caught her and she went up to check out as well.
Alfred and Kiku had quite a romantic night that night but she can't stand it taking up the scenery before her. Not that she was going to complain that they were doing something in the wrong place, she was concerned of her brother. Why was her brother disturbing their private moment? The masquerade party was long over and the guests had already left the place. Natalia hid under the shadow of the castle, not wanting to catch any attention. She saw her brother turned away as he walked back into the castle, his face void of expression yet something evil gleamed in his violet orbs.
The High Princess of the North Kingdom slowly came out from her hiding spot, careful not to make a noise that would snapped Alfred and his lover from their sweet dreams. For some reason, she had a bad feeling for this. Is her brother not happy with Alfred's choice of spouse?
Her suspect was confirmed later on when she noticed the tension that began to rise among the two siblings. Following that, Kiku suddenly disappeared. Natalia searched all over the place to find him but the effort were futile. Alfred managed to discover that Kiku had run away. Thanks to that, he managed to save Kiku from trouble before the situation worsened.
Through this, Natalia had learnt that her brother was not happy about their relationship and planned on separating the both of them. She never know why but Yao must be one of the reason of such behaviour. Alfred later expressed his intention to run away unless King Arthur and King Francis accepted his engagement with Kiku. And again, Natalia knew the truth better than the rest of them, but decided not to bring it up. Knowing Alfred's personality, she won't be able to persuade him in changing his mind, so she just decided to let him be as long as she supported Alfred and Kiku relationship.
The Crown Prince sudden disappearance had stirred chaos in the castle. Troops of army and soldiers were sent by the kings in hope to find the prince but no news was heard of. The person who worried the most was none other than her brother, Prince Ivan, who looked anxious and worried one whole day.
"My lady, shouldn't you tell anyone about Alfred's runaway?" Toris asked that afternoon when Natalia was intended on doing Kiku's chores.
Natalia seemed to ponder about the knight's words before replying, "I had promised Alfred that I won't tell a single soul about his whereabouts."
"But the castle has been in chaos, just how can you stand this? Don't you know that King Arthur and King Francis were worried about their only son? What if something bad happened to him?" The knight ignored her and continued to fire questions at her.
Their only son? Their only son?! Isn't big brother their son as well? "And why would you care?!" The High Princess yelled back. "How many times should I told you? This is none of your business!" She glared at her personal bodyguard with her electric blue eyes that seemed to paralyze him. The knight backed away and just nodded in resignation. "I will inform them later but they won't know about the entire truth, unless the person who caused this realized his fault."
Toris just obeyed his mistress' words as she carried the laundry out to the garden. He felt that it was really unbefitting for a lady of noble rank, a princess to be exact to do house chores where servant usually done. But Natalia insisted that she did this in Kiku's place. Knowing that hard personality of the princess, she might had some other plan in her mind. Toris cared about her but he don't dare to go further and pressed on as he knew better than to step on the princess' wrath.
In Toris' opinion, Natalia is exceptionally beautiful, (well) all royals tended to be beautiful but her beauty is different. At first, Toris thought that he was just somewhat attracted to her or something. He liked to think himself being lucky as he was the first man (if considered at that age) to ever dance with her. He heard that she wounded several of the young men who attempted to dance with her, soldiers and nobles alike. And since then she owned her reputation as the infamous ice princess. Toris was the only one who got so close in contact with her and came back unscattered. And despite all the numerous rumours that she was a witch or a mentally unstable girl who will bring bad things to the kingdom when she was crowned High Princess, Toris held on to himself that the princess must be having her own problems to deal with and all the harsh childhood she had endured that had shaped her today. He hang on to the thought of meeting her again in the future, which inspired him to train himself more vigorously in hope that he will be the one to win her heart.
Their reunion came quicker than the young knight would have expected. That time Toris was having swords practice session with the younger knights in training. From afar, he heard the rushing of servants and some knights as he saw a carriage pull up at the North Kingdom's castle entrance. He watched as the carriage door opened as Vash and Liech came out followed with another young girl who looked around the age of fifteen. That was when Toris felt his heart skipped a beat the moment he saw that young girl, it was her!
And for the next few days to come, Toris found himself stalking the High Princess to be. It's not that he's doing anything bad but he just felt like catching up the lost time. Natalia had grown up into a beautiful young lady at this age. Her blue eyes would sparkled with determination and confidence. Her platinum blonde hair flowed in the wind as if she was gliding in the air.
Yet, rumours continued to spread throughout the castle the moment the princess return. Many young men had been enchanted by her beauty but when they tried to talk to her, her coldness would send them shivering. Toris also heard that one of the nobles attempted to seduce her by luring her into his room but he later ran out of the room with cuts and wounds all over his limbs. People said that the princess must have carried knives with her wherever she goes and hence her reputation as an ice princess continued to spread.
Toris, however, did not view those words in the same way. He felt that the girl was desperate for something. Those beautiful eyes were the same as before, and Toris finally understood what lies beneath those orbs. The girl was lonely and was yearning for some love but it was hard for her since she lost most of her family in the North Kingdom incident years ago. And Toris had also heard that she was once very obsessed of her older brother and somehow wanting to go as far as to marry him but that feeling slowly dissolved when she realised her brother loved someone else and he shut her away. Although King Arthur brought her under his wing, she can never felt the same closeness as Alfred and Matthew because she was not related to him and that caused her to stray away even more.
It saddened Toris to see the young girl having to grow up by herself without much people by her side. She seemed to make it and has even become a strong ruler of the Northern Land. Yet, her eyes remained the same, hollowed and miserable. If Toris was given a wish, he would pray for the girl's happiness and someday someone would shower her with love. He had always wished that he would be that person by her side but he knew the chances are beyond his reach. Who would approve a relationship between a knight and a High Princess?
What should I do? The knight thought to himself as he walked out to the garden of Main Hetalia. I just want to make her happy, even if it's just once… Slightly calloused hands reached towards a rose bush and picked out a single red rose and toyed it between his fingers, ignoring the thorn grazing and leaving marks all over his skin. He could see Natalia doing her chores not too far away. Toris noticed Prince Ivan, the princess older brother came up to her, though he can't hear what they were speaking. The High Princess was just like a rose, beautiful yet fragile but not easily approachable because of the thorns. The knight smiled bitterly at this, there's no way Natalia would ever took notice of him, he was just her bodyguard, nothing else. And with so many royals and nobles there wooing for her, he won't stand a chance in this. As far as he would know, he prayed for Natalia's happiness and hoped that she will find love in the person whoever she was destined to marry.
The castle was once again in chaos. Not only Crown Prince Alfred was gone, even the other crown prince had run away as well. This sent both kings into panic as they ordered soldiers to search all over the land to get them back. Gossips began spreading among the servants and maids regarding the runaway princes. Everyone has been at unease, all except one.
Toris watched as the princess carried on her day as usual, oblivious to the riots outside. Albeit he didn't know about the full story, Toris would've guess Natalia had somehow hit sense into her brother's mind that cause all these troubles to happen. In fact, the knight would've known the whole story without needing to pose for any question. After all, the high princess was well known for her calculating mastermind that she would do anything to make sure she got what she desire.
While Natalia seemed deaf to the castle's trouble, Toris noted that she seemed to space out than usual. Starting from the moment when she requested her breakfast to be sent to her chambers rather than eating together with King Arthur and King Francis in the dining. After that, the High Princess went to take a stroll in the garden.
A cool wind blazed through the garden, sending cold down Toris' spine but Natalia was undaunted. She just continued to walk deeper into the garden, blue eyes somewhat unfocused, her platinum blonde hair swayed under the breeze and her elegant dress seemed to float, matching her light footstep. Toris couldn't help but hold down a gasp taking in the young lady breath-taking beauty. Usually, she would keep a stiff upper lips with a cold and distant look that no one dare to touch her. But this time, she looked completely the opposite, it somehow urged the knight to move forward just to get hold of her.
"My lady, isn't the weather a bit too cold outside?" Toris asked, trying hard not to let her hear his clenching teeth. Natalia, however, didn't pay him any attention as she reached out her hand to gently stroke a single yellow flower. Toris bit his lip, the princess' attitude really unnerved him somehow. "My lady, don't you think we should go back?" he asked once again, this time being a bit louder, "you will get a cold if you stay outside for too long."
Natalia snapped out from her trance and turned to face him. Toris noted that there was some confusion in her eyes before they regained back to its usual blank and cold type. "You are right…" She said coldly, "let's return back and have tea inside."
Tea was held in her chamber's balcony. What surprised Toris even more was that the High Princess requested for the bitter Earl Grey tea rather than her favourite chamomile tea. When he questioned her about it, she just replied that she wanted to try something else, he did not believe in it though. He stood aside quietly as he watched the young lady gulped down a cup of the black tea while looking out from the balcony, brows furrowed into a scowl slightly at the taste of bitterness lingering on her tongue.
Such a disgusting taste… Just like the bitterness I felt deep inside me… The High Princess thought to herself as she gazed into the unreachable darkness of the bitter tea she just drank just now. Blue eyes watched intently as if hoping for an answer.
Toris would have admitted that he heard a sigh escaping from the princess but when he whipped his head away from the balcony, he could only saw Natalia placing down her tea cup and her cold eyes gazed far away towards the far horizon of the balcony. Upon closer inspection, the knight caught glimpse of a single tear streaked down her cheek, which was quite rare for a girl with an uptight mouth like Natalia.
"My lady, is there something bothering you?" Toris asked in concern. He knew the girl would not like it but something had tugged his heart for sympathy. Gently, he walked over to the High Princess side and offered her a napkin.
Natalia blinked for a moment as her hand reached out to her cheeks. She had not been realizing that she was crying until Toris mentioned it. Silently, she accepted the napkin from the knight and wiped it away before looking elsewhere but at the face of her bodyguard.
"My lady, you had been off today. Would you like to tell me what's in your mind?" Toris asked, trying to be as gentle as possible. Who knows what would he expected from a lady with unexpected quirkiness?
The High Princess slowly turned back to face him. The usual stern and cold glance in her eyes were gone and were replaced with uncertainty and sorrow. A layer of pool glaze those blue eyes, making them appeared to look like shimmering crystals. She seemed to ponder for a while before deciding to speak up, "I… I'm just… a bit lonely…"
"Uh-hmm…" The knight just nodded understandingly. Natalia made a gesture and he took a seat next to her. "Mind telling me, if that ease you."
A small smile graced over her lips and she shook her head gently. "I'm sure you have heard of my strong feelings for my brother, Prince Ivan?" She enquired.
Toris frowned a little at the statement. He don't dare to give a response, he was afraid that she will lash out at him. After all, he just couldn't simply trust any rumours about the person he cared. And suddenly, she brought this out all of a sudden. This can't be true, right? But his suspicion was confirmed when Natalia confessed the truth. At that moment, Toris couldn't help but got shocked over her revelation.
"I love my brother, because he was the only family I had ever since mother died." Ignoring Toris' gaped expression, she just continued telling him the whole story. Tears once again began moistening her eyes but she fought them off. "Though I can be foolish to yearn to marry him when he already love someone. That feeling can never be accomplished because he was so in love with Yao."
"But my lady," Toris interrupted, "There's always someone else for you. Even though your brother did not love you the way lovers do, he still loves you as his sister. And there're always people who cared for you, like King Arthur who took you in."
"Yes, but there's always a border between me and the rest. I'm grateful that King Arthur took me under his wing but his feelings for me won't be as strong as that feeling he had for Alfred. I may be angry, but I… I cannot brought myself to hate Alfred, not when he looked so young, innocent and happy, so I just decided to keep it all to myself. And I think that as long as Alfred was happy, I will be happy too."
"Is… Is that why… Is that why you're so crazed with anyone?" Toris asked softly.
Natalia took a sip of the bitter tea before she continued, "But that did not last long…" And Toris immediately knew what she was talking about, the tragedy. All he could picture were the fleeting moments when the castle was suddenly invaded, the children were screaming, Natalia was one of them too. The heartless soldiers cutting down those who stood in their path. From what he heard, Prince Alfred lost his brother, while Prince Ivan lost his beloved, the two never recovered from their grief. Since then, the castle was casted in a dark shadow for several years.
"And during those times, Alfred banished Kiku from his side. Therefore, I decided to bring Kiku with me to the Northern Kingdom in hope that he will forget all the sad things that happened in Main Hetalia."
"Is that when you had fallen for Kiku?" Toris asked knowingly.
The High Princess nodded solemnly. "At first, I do wish that he will return my feelings. But then, I realized that he don't love me the same way he had towards Alfred. I knew that it was no use pursuing him, so I just let him go in hope that he will be happy with his decision."
"And do you felt the same that they were happy?"
At the mention of this, Natalia was silence. All the while, she had given up pursuing her own happiness and pray for other people happiness, because it makes her happy too, isn't that right? She stared into the cup of tea, the blackness reflected her hollowness. It just… not right, no matter how she smiled, there's always something missing in her eyes.
Toris stood up and went to stand by the balcony. "Do you remember our first dance?" He asked as he gazed into the city square, trying to find something in hope to distract her.
"You mean the one a few days ago during Alfred's masquerade birthday?"
Ah, she doesn't remember… Toris thought to himself as he hummed a little. "No, I mean several years ago earlier before that, like eleven years ago. Do you remember our first dance?"
The High Princess' eyes narrowed a bit as she half-glared at him. "I don't remember dancing with anyone eleven years ago."
The knight's soldier drooped a little in disappointment but kept his face straight. "I remembered the first time when we met. It was eleven years ago, in this very same castle." Natalia heightened her brows a little at his mention. "That time you were still a young girl and I a knight in training. You were very cautious and alert to your surrounding that you refused to leave King Arthur's side. That was until when I came up to you and asked you for a dance."
Natalia blinked a little in confusion and searched through her memories. Though most of her childhood moments were vague regarding things outside Main Hetalia castle, she could faintly recall the first time when a young man held her hand and led her for a dance. That was the first time she had ever came into contact with a stranger.
"So… It was you?"
Toris gave her a silent nod while trying not to blush. "That time, when I saw your eyes, I noticed that there was something sad in it. It was like, you're yearning for something, searching for something important."
"Is it?" Natalia said nonchalantly.
At this point, Toris came to a halt. What was he doing? He just can't have an answer to his question. But one thing he knew was that Natalia may not going to be happy at what he was going to tell later, would she? The knight practically damned himself for letting his tongue slipped and caused all this confusion. "Er… Uh… I'm sorry, my lady… P-Please forgive my intrusion…" He stammered for a while, trying to come up with a proper explanation. "I-I… Uh… I didn't m-meant to p-provoke you or s-something… I just wanted to… to help you…"
But his words were cut short by Natalia. "Why should you apologize? You did nothing wrong. Just speak it out already." The High Princess urged, her tone was a hint of jolliness, as if she was trying to hold down her laugher while keeping herself straight. That somehow gave Toris some reassurance to continue speaking, knowing that he was free from her wrath.
And so, Toris continued in his story about how he got to know more about Natalia's personality and background. During one time he questioned about the injured nobleman son who intended to seduce her, Natalia admitted doing it as a way of self-defence.
"If I don't hurt him, then what else can I do since he doesn't want to listen to me?" Natalia posed a rhetorical question, "I know it may be bad for my reputation. But my image would be soiled if people knew that I had an affair with someone before I come of age." She stated that the boy has been pestering her when she was learning how to manage political affairs. He later tagged her and cornered her to his room. He intended to make out with her as she tried to escape. Natalia refused to do as he wished, so he slapped her hard on her face. In turn, the girl retaliated back by slashing him with her knife to stop him from advancing further.
The two did not realized that they had been talking all the way until the sun set in the horizon. Natalia took another sip of her tea as she looked out at the balcony before heaving a sigh. "It seems like big brother and Alfred won't be returning today."
"I thought you're not concern about that." Toris commented.
"They're my family…"
"You sounded anxious."
"What would you know?"
"You must be jealous of them, don't you?" Toris spoke out her mind. "You want someone to love you."
The knight's statement caused another tear to slide down the High Princess' cheek. Toris panicked at what he had done quickly knelt down by the princess' side and attempted to comfort her. "I-I'm sorry, my lady… I didn't… I didn't mean to insult you or something… I-I'm just speaking of my thoughts."
"It's… It's not your fault…" Natalia sobbed. "It's just that… I'm feeling lonely…"
"Would you understand? A strong feeling you had for someone yet they just won't return you because their feelings towards you is not as strong as how you wish it to be. They won't love you the same way as they had already loved someone else." She vented on as more tears began flowing down uncontrollably.
"My lady… That's not true. It's just that you haven't met your destined one."
"And just how long should I suffer alone?" She rambled on. "I loved Brother Ivan, Alfred and Kiku but they just loved me as a sister or a mistress. I know it was a sad thing, but I have to let them go because I love them and wanted them to be happy. And yet, what do I get in return? Am I really happy as people would say?"
Toris pondered for a moment, trying to come up ways to comfort the High Princess. In the end, he scooted closer to the girl and enveloped her in a hug. Natalia was taken by surprise with his sudden action, but she did not reject his offer of comfort. She accepted his embrace and sobbed on his shoulder.
"My lady, I truly love you, not as a princess but as you yourself." Toris confessed his feelings once Natalia calmed down. "I don't know why but the moment when I met you, I had the feeling that we will be together, no matter what."
The High Princess sniffled as she dried her tears with a kerchief. "You… Do?"
"When I learnt about your harsh childhood and your yearning for someone to love, I was determined to win your hand so I started training even harder in hope that someday I will be worthy of you." Toris smiled a little as he presented her a rose. "And here, I swear to you that I will always be by your side no matter what and protect you with my whole being."
For once, Natalia was overwhelmed with joy and surprise as tears began to cloud her blue eyes again. She accepted the rose from Toris before asking, "Do you swear, to shower me with happiness just like Alfred and Brother Ivan?"
"I solemnly swear to do as my mistress' wishes. For I had promise to love you and be by your side the moment I was at your servitude." Smiling, he gently held Natalia's wrist in his before planting a gentle kiss.
A blush spread across Natalia's face as she smiled shyly at her new found love. Toris had to admit that she looked really cute and beautiful whenever she smiled. The High Princess turned to look at the time to see that dinner time was around corner. "I think it's time we should get ready for dinner." She said as she stood up, Toris stood up as well and was soon by her side. "I will escort you." He said with utmost courtesy.
Smiling, Natalia held his hand and the duo headed towards the dining chamber, ignoring the stares of the servants and nobles who were walking on the hallway.
As he let the princess led the way to the dining hall, Toris promised to himself that he will do everything in his power to make sure his mistress would always smile in front of him. As he looked out into the warm gentle last rays of sun, he spoke to himself quietly, "Atlas, the heart of the ice princess was finally thawed by the warm sunlight."
xXx
I just can't get into the mood of writing. Life in college can be quite hectic and troublesome, then parents some more. Urg! This chapter would have been posted up months ago if it wasn't because of the writer's block I had. I just can't get into it. Anyway, better late rather than not getting it done.
And I guess I should wish everyone a late Happy New Year, right? I realised that it has been more than a year since I published this story. And I promise, it may took a longer time to update but I'm sure I will have this done in no time. After all, it's a story I had adopted a promised to complete so I must get this thing done.
I decided to post this little story from Natalia's perspective. The original author did not plan to give her any pairing but I think she deserve one. After all, it was rather to see our darling Belarus acting as a protagonist, so I think she would need more sympathy in this. I just hope you were happy with the LietBel pairing I had specially selected in this story.
As usual, thanks for the reviews. I got a lot quite recently and it really gave me the push to write more.
Cloudia119: You had a point regarding Ivan and Gilbert relationship. Ivan often forgot about Gilbert after Yao's death as he really grieved by the incident. Gilbert was just trying to help him but Ivan was just too stubborn to listen. It could also indicate that Ivan might have feelings for Gilbert but won't admit it as he was still sadden by Yao's death. Whereas Gilbert and Ludwig's relation is a little bit of a final touch in this, I just felt the need to show a little of brotherly affection between them. Moreover, I wanted Ludwig to have his role in helping Gilbert in overcoming his problem. And I believe, that Gilbert and Ivan will soon have their very own Happily Ever After.
AthtarKuroCat: Yes, it was indeed sad to see Ivan and Gilbert's relationship, seeing that Ivan don't want to return Gilbert's feeling. But I promise that they will have a happy ending by the end of this story, I promise. :)
Guest (the person who reviewed both Chapter 3 & 4): Rochu was actually one of the pairing in the beginning of the story but that will soon be changed. As the story progress, you will see more Ruspru instead of Rochu. And it was always a nice thing to see funny things in the midst of a tragic incident. I'm glad you like it. :3