Ravenclaw would be too suspicious… intelligence not helping me in the slightest… Gryffindor is out of the question… jinxed before I got within ten feet…
Thoughts were circling in my mind all through lunch. It had been three weeks since we'd started classes and my life had a steady rhythm going about it. Wake-up, make-up and hair with roommates (Pansy was serious when she said she wouldn't be seen publically with someone who didn't take their appearance seriously), miss or a rushed breakfast, classes, lunch with the group, more classes, homework, the odd meeting with Michael for Charms, relax in the common room with the group, bed. Repeat.
The only thing I didn't add was my frighteningly frequent meet-ups with Malfoy. Whenever the stress of the day or the cravings got too much – they went hand in hand. I would head up to the room of requirement for a few hours. Every time I went the young Malfoy would follow. I wouldn't have to tell him I was going or signal him or even be in the same room. He'd just know and meet me there ten minutes into my first cigarette. It gave me the impression that he watched me but I couldn't believe it. The idea was ridiculous.
The few nights we remained in silence. The next few we began to talk. I learned his Dad was in Azkaban for the rest of his life and that he wasn't too upset over it. I learned his mother was now living alone in the manor, her sentence extinguished after saving Potter's life. He didn't say but I could tell he worried about her. It was quite humbling, seeing something so human about him. Of course I'd never say anything, if ever I approached an unwelcome subject he'd either snap at me or retreat back into silence. Conversing with him was like coaxing an animal out of hiding.
Come morning, however, he went back to barely acknowledging my presence. I guess it was a step up from completely ignoring my presence. He never spoke about our meetings, even when it as just us and the group left in the Common Room. Not wanting to test the waters I kept my mouth shut also even though a part of me would have liked to discuss it, to figure out the impossible puzzle that was Draco Malfoy.
We sat in our usual formation. Blaise and Daphne on either side of me and Theo, Draco and Pansy sitting across from us. The latter between the two boys. I liked to think of it as on one side was the pair I'd seem to win over and the three that were still wary of my presence. Daphne and I'd seem to remain bonded after the summer and Blaise enjoyed the fact that I laughed at his admittedly dark humour.
"You're more subdued than normal," Blaise admitted, giving me a nudge in the arm.
"Sorry," I shook my head in attempt to clear it and recollected my thoughts on what they'd been talking about. "I'm sure you'll be fine, you're a decent flyer and your best friends the captain. I don't see why you won't make the team this year."
"I'm actually not worried about me, it's the beaters. We haven't had anyone decent since Lafington and Scalby left three years ago. Do you fly?"
I snorted. "Yes but it's the hand-eye co-ordination I lack. You'll have to look elsewhere I'm afraid."
"I just want to beat Gryffindor this time around. With Potter captain again it's the best way to knock him down a peg."
I fought down the sigh, knowing it will just lead to arguments. "Draco will get a good team together. He's a good leader so we should be in with a chance."
There was a pause where everyone turned to look at me, even the Malfoy himself. I fought down the blush, not sure why I'd complimented him. It was the truth but I guess I just hated the needless negative energy. Seeming like this was the push I needed to do my experiment I stood, leaving my half-eaten sandwich behind me.
"Where are you going?" Theo asked as I gathered my things. "Lunch isn't over for a good half hour."
"I'm…" I tried to find the right words. "Testing a theory."
With that I left the Slytherin table, making sure to keep my steps even and confidant I walked around the Ravenclaws and towards the students with amber lined robes and badgers on their crests.
If there's too much bad-blood and intelligence that leads to suspicion that only left –
Seeing a face I recognised I walked lightly over, trying to tame the knot of nerves in my stomach. Rallying the rest of my courage I boldly threw my leg over the bench and sat at the Hufflepuff table, meeting wide bronze eyes with the steady gaze of my own.
The surrounding Hufflepuffs quietened. Staring at me as if I'd grown three heads and was about to start spitting at them. There were too many people in the Great Hall for it to be totally silent, most people didn't notice the mad act of courage I was currently displaying but it was quiet enough that I hand to swallow hard before tentatively holding out my hand.
"My name is Alyssa Blackthorne." Thank Merlin my voice didn't crack. "I'm from one of the longest line of purebloods in England and obviously…" I indicated to my robes, "a Slytherin. My father was a death eater and was killed in the battle of Hogwarts. I don't know how many people he killed but he was one of Voldemort's most loyal followers and one of the most evil man I've ever known. I think Muggle-borns have every bit the right to this world as I do. They didn't deserve what happened to them. Neither did the people who stuck up for them. They still don't deserve the prejudice a lot of my house is guilty of using against them. My father believed in dirty blood and I just wanted to say that… I do not."
The silence was painful, it seemed to claw at my senses as I watched the girl's expression change from shock to cautious to anger to… something else entirely. Her mother was killed my father's 'Dark Lord'. Looking back, I probably shouldn't have chosen her. I held my breath until gingerly, she took my outstretched hand.
"Hannah Abbot," her voice was strained.
And there it was. A feeling of great lightness in my chest. Maybe there was hope for me after all.
Come Friday, I was the talk of the school. I hadn't approached Hannah again but whenever she passed me in a corridor I'd wave and say hi no matter who I was with or vice versa. Strangely enough the group didn't question me, sent me a few odd looks but no one questioned my sanity or asked what I was trying to achieve. A few of the other Slytherins threw some insults my way – the term 'hufflehugger' was popular, I mean really, I was truly surrounded by morons. But noting I couldn't handle. We were sitting in our usual places eating lunch when Daphne began bringing up the upcoming Hogsmeade trip.
"But you have to come! It's the first one of the year!"
"I don't see how that fact takes the choice out of my hands."
"But we're going as a group. No dates is the rule. We've always done it, its tradition!"
"I'd much rather stay here," I admitted. "The castle's nice and quiet, its' always been my tradition to roam the castles for passageways –"
"That was before you had any friends though," Pansy commented not I thought because she wanted me to come but because she just wanted to remind me of that fact.
"Look, you'll have more fun without me there, honestly. I'll just stay here and meet you all –"
Before I could finish a flash of white and brown feathers streaked across my vision causing me to flinch backwards in fright. There before me sat an all-too familiar Siberian eagle owl, his yellow eyes regarding me carefully.
"Hello Spook," I said dully.
"That's the largest owl I've ever seen!" Theo gaped. I noted other Slytherins turned to look at the feathered nightmare perched on my sandwich. Spook seemed to glare at me as I picked stray white feathers from my robes.
"He was an anomaly. No one knows why this particular chick hatched so large and of course my father wanted to show off."
"And he named him Spook?" Draco asked doubtfully. It was unusual that he joined our conversations but he seemed quite focused on the bird and me. I tried not to squirm under his silver gaze. "Seems odd for your father to call him something like that."
"Oh no. His real names Octavian or something equally retarded. I just call him Spook 'cause he scares the shit out of me."
The rest chuckled, even Malfoy cracked a smile before being able to compose himself.
Gingerly, I unstrapped the letter from Spook's leg, waiting for the impatient and superior nip I was sure to get. When it came his hooked beak drew blood and I cursed, finishing untying the parchment and shooed him away, not before I grudgingly took the bacon from my owl-squashed sandwich and gave it to him. It wasn't like I was going to eat it anyway.
"He bites you and you feed him," Pansy stated heatedly. "You know you're never…" I didn't listen to the rest of the lecture because I'd only just realised who the letter was from.
Alyssa,
The trial finally came to a close last night…
I skipped through all the details. My heart beating so fast in my chest and my breath quickening into shallow pants. I couldn't hear, feel or see anything but the letter in front of me. My stomach had tightened into the most painful knot until my scanning eyes found one single line:
The Court's sentenced him into life imprisonment.
And just like that everything eased. A wave of relief so large that I wanted to cry washed over me. My hands shook with it and whatever emotions that swelled in my gut and chest relaxed. I could finally breathe easily. He was gone. Thank Merlin he was gone from my life forever.
After scanning the letter again, this time reading every word about the last minute witness that had been rescued from imprisonment in Russia, I lowered the parchment, folded it and put it into my pocket.
And suddenly I was smiling. Not a contained grin or a rueful smirk but a true, bright, happy smile. The group did a bit of a double take not sure what had caused such a reaction.
"Good news I take it?" Daphne asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I think I will go to Hogsmeade after all," I said instead of answering her. She seemed to brighten at this though I could sense the other's suspicion. "I'm feeling a few drinks are an order."
"What are we celebrating?" Blaise asked, he seemed unable to prevent smiling at me in return.
"Perhaps being the only students ever to study in Hogwarts and be able to legally buy alcohol?"
"The girl has a point," Theo answered with a grin.
"Great! Then it's settled," Daphne's blue eyes shone with excitement and I was relieved the attention on me had shifted. "This is going to be so much fun."
For the first time, I actually believed her when she said it.
It was relatively mild that Saturday. Compared to the usual late October mornings and luck was on our side as it wasn't raining. I couldn't help but revel in my favourite time of year, landscape a wash of oranges and yellows, leaves falling and creating soft foot paths beneath our feet as we made our way down to the small magical village.
"It would have been much faster to take the portrait in the room of requirement," Malfoy muttered darkly.
"And willingly go into that room, Draco?" Blaise asked, her dark brows rising. "That doesn't sound like you."
Without meaning to I glanced at the pale blonde, surprised that he still wouldn't go near the room with the others. Why on earth would he go with me almost three times a week then? I met his gaze and he scowled, striding a few feet ahead of myself and his best friend.
Guess I'll never know.
"So what was in that letter that's got you in the mood to celebrate?" Blaise nudged me with his elbow. "I find myself curious."
"Well I guess you're going to have to get used to it Zambini," I smiled to lighten the words. "I'm not in the mood right now to explain."
"Alright," he held his palms up in defeat. "Just so you know, this air of mystery is getting you noticed and I know how you hate that." He bent his knees slightly as he walked so his mouth was close to my ear. "Draco watches you, you know."
I forced down the threatening blush and decided to ignore the existence of butterflies that appeared in my belly. Obviously he watched me, who else was to help him aid his budding nicotine addiction.
"And it's kind of weird," Blaise went on. "Considering that Draco spends his life ignoring everyone."
"He's probably just more wary of my presence than the rest of you are," I muttered.
"I'm not wary," he argued. "But Draco –"
"Look, I don't know Blaise. I'd be a fool to try and figure out that boy," I met his knowing gaze steadily. "And you'd be a bigger fool to try and figure me out. So just… leave it?"
"Alright," he sighed. I picked up the pace to catch up with Pansy and Daphne. My frustration seemed to peek as when I passed the Malfoy in question I paused briefly to murmur in his ear.
"If you're really that adamant on keeping your late night habit with me a secret, get Blaise off my back and for heaven's sake stop watching me," I couldn't keep the heat out of my tone before jogging forward to join the girls, knowing I wouldn't receive a reply.
The Three Broomsticks was crowded, but gloriously so. Usually I didn't do well with large masses of people but I felt today would be the exception. It was always easiest to remain invisible this way. No one pays attention to a single person when there's fifty more surrounding them. We managed to grab a booth as a group of third years we leaving just as we arrived, as I watched the others get settled I chose to head straight to the bar. There was a bit of a queue but the moment Rosmerta saw me, a huge grin spread across her face and she stopped mid order to come towards me.
"Aly!" She called over the chatter. A few confused stares were thrown my way but before I could really notice the older barmaid embraced me in a tight hug. "It's been too long and with news of your father…" she didn't need to finish the sentence. "I feared the worse."
"I'm ok," I said with a small smile. "I just had a lot to sort out after everything."
"That's understandable," she gave me a kind smile. The barkeep was one of the only people who had taken any notice of me in my early Hogwarts years, many a Saturday I would arrive early to drink and chat. She was probably the only person I told about me not belonging in Slytherin house and the shit that went on at home. "So what can I get you? Your usual?"
"Actually," I couldn't help but smile shyly. "I'm here with friends." I indicated to our booth and Rosmerta locked gazes with each of them. They were watching us curiously, unsure what to make of the exchange.
"Is that Lucius Malfoy's son?" Her voice was hard. Everyone knew about the Imperius curse debacle two years ago.
"Yes but trust me he's changed," I pleaded her with my eyes and she frowned thoughtfully.
"I hope you know what you're doing," she returned to her spot behind the bar and pulled out six glasses, all of which reflected the telling lick of magic.
"Does anyone?" I answered truthfully.
"Just don't let me catch you stumbling out of here, Minerva will have a fit."
"I promise," I said, unable to stop the chuckle. Picking up the glasses I strode back to the others who remained utterly silent, forcing me to explain.
"She has a soft spot for me," I said shrugging and placing each of Rosmerta's gifts in front of them. "They're self-filling glasses, so we don't have to queue."
A startled laugh emitted from Blaise and he picked up the glass, watching it as it filled with ice and fire whiskey. He turned to Daphne sitting next to him.
"Daph, I just wanted to thank you for bringing this little oddity into the fold. To Aly!"
"Don't call me that," I snapped but grabbed a glass.
"To Alyssa, then."
Everyone raised their glasses and drank deeply and I couldn't help but wonder how much of the warmth in my chest was to do with the alcohol.
A/N: Another chapter! It's coming quite quickly at the moment which is great. We're slowly peeling away the lairs of our main character. I'm trying to keep this pace to hold on to some mystery. Things WILL make sense I promise!
Please review I really want to hear your opinions, questions and ideas for characters old and new! Don't be shy!