Well, things are just awful right now, aren't they? What's next for Riley Andersen? Oh, this is just the beginning. ;) Enjoy chapter 7 and as always, feel free to leave reviews! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

TRIGGER WARNING: Self Harm Mention.

"I can't believe we slept through her alarm and missed first, second and third period! This is awful. It isn't getting better." Joy expected, by now, that things would have improved, "Isn't two months a suitable recovery time for a breakup?"

"...Not when it's the love of your life." Disgust, it seems, is taking it much harder than everyone else, even Sadness, "She cheated on us. I feel like garbage. I feel like we aren't even worth it. And it sucks because, like, only some of her islands are functioning."

"That's because love is bullshit." Anger is extra cynical these days, "It's not worth it and I'm never trying it again. She was our everything."

"Guys, we can be happy without her." Is Joy the only one who thinks this?

"That's not the point!" Fear is finally going to get his own feelings out, "Of course we can! But that doesn't mean we don't get lonely. It doesn't mean that we're over her. How could we be over something that was such a big deal? Our first love...our first love of over three years." He's on the verge of hysterics. They can hear it in his voice, "This...this is so hard."

Joy will take his hand, glossy eyes blinking fast, "...I know it is, Fear. I promise I know."

Lunch period. It's the same group as always. Everyone is talking over each other and being goofs, while Riley is in a daze, hardly eating her lunch. By now, the entire school is well aware that the infamous love sick lesbian couple is a done deal (though some will argue there's no way they'll stay broken up!). It shocked essentially everybody. And at this point, her friends are doing their best to support her- to get her mind off things.

It's awkward at times, but Carl is pretty good at keeping things, well, pretty damn positive, "So, we finally made it to the last day of school- we gotta' have an end of the year party. Next week is my parents anniversary so my dad's taking my mom to Disney World because they both met years ago at the college internship there. My house is big enough that you guys can even crash if you get too shwasted."

"Ugh, I hate when you say shwasted!" Amanda's nose will crinkle with distaste, "But I'm definitely down. I think we all earned it, especially since we're gonna' be seniors next year! It's crazy." She'll nudge her best friend lightly, "And how about you, Riley? You gotta' go!"

That's enough for the cluster of teens to agree and continue with encouraging praise. They've hardly seen her since the breakup. She's been a shut in. They miss her.

She sighs, "I-I dunno' guys. I'm not sure I'm in a partying mood."

"That's exactly why you need to go!" Amanda will argue, "I know it hurts, and I'm not telling you to get over it either. But, sweetie, the only way you can forget her and at least distract yourself from the heartbreak is to go out and be with friends. Go to parties like you used to, and surround yourself with good people. And...we all miss you. You gotta' come."

'She's right, you know! I think we should give it a try.'

'I'm just afraid Carissa will be there.'

'Well...we can cross that bridge when we get to it!'

She smiles a small smile and shakes her head, "Okay, okay. I'll go. But I reserve the right to leave early if I'm not feelin' it."

Amanda feels she's succeeded, so she'll accept anything, "Deal!" Besides, it's something everyone is ecstatic to hear. They miss their silly little skater girl. Often times, she's the life of the party...at least after a few beers when she loudly begs people to give her a topic to rap about when everyone refuses to rap battle her because she's too drunk and so are they.

But the air is about to change. A familiar face is slowly walking towards the bleachers. Her hands are shoved in her pockets, and she clearly looks as though she hasn't showered in at least three days.

'Oh god, it's her. It's Carissa.'

'Everyone just breathe, don't panic, just play it cool.'

Riley won't look up from her phone. Her biggest fear is that if she makes eye contact with her ex, she'll break down. It still hurts. But Amanda, her eyes are stone cold as she speaks, "Can I help you?"

Even Carl is left speechless. But this has been a struggle for him. Carissa is his best friend, but he's known Riley longer. Where does his loyalty belong? What can he do? The entire group is silent. Nobody knows what to say or how to feel. They want to hate Carissa, they want to shoo her away, but maybe this is difficult for everybody else too. If anything, the soul reason this group of unlikely misfits banded together years ago and became such a close-nit group of friends is because of Riley and Carissa always inviting them places. Everyone loses something out of this.

The tension is unbearable, Carissa has a reason for daring to show her face, so she'll speak before Amanda gives her anymore sass, "...Christine and The Queens is tomorrow night at The Marina Theater."

'FUCK. I COMPLETELY FORGOT!'

'...We can't go.'

'But she's our favorite!'

'I'm too disgusted. Let me handle this, I have an idea.'

"...It was your birthday gift, we can still go."

Finally she will look up, but no, she won't even look at Carissa. She will smile big and bright, eyes glued to Amanda, "Hey! You wanna' go to a concert tomorrow night?"

'I know she cheated, but this is kind of mean.'

'She CHEATED, Joy. She fucking deserves this.'

'...I still just really don't think she did!'

Amanda, however, is feeling just as savage. She hates Carissa for breaking her best friend's heart, "You know what? I would love to! What time can you pick me up, doll?"

"How's 6:15 sound?"

"Perfect." And so Amanda will dare to eye Carissa with daggers sharp enough to kill, "So hand me the tickets, and you can go."

It actually kind of shocks Riley deep down. Because she expects Carissa to put up a fight about this, to argue with Amanda. She's usually so...stubborn. And my god she's got a temper. But she..doesn't. She reaches into her back pocket, pulls both tickets out, drops them right into Amanda's hand, "...Her favorite song is Tilted. So, when that comes on, make sure you record it for her with your phone."

This prompts Riley to finally look at her ex, her expression, god dammit, is lovesick. Carissa remembers.

"She'll get too excited and just start doing the dance along with Christine, she'll end up regretting not filming it." Their eyes meet briefly.

'Ugh, I should be happy about that firework above her islands...but it's just making me want to...'

'To what, Sadness?'

Carissa is already heading back into the school building. The bell rings, and the group will disperse. Amanda gathers her things only to turn to find Riley placing her hands over her face. A break down. She's crying hysterically.

"No, oh no, honey, don't cry!" She'll place her arms around Riley, "It's okay. You don't have to be strong right now. You cry all you want. Hey- it's the last day of school, let's just ditch. They can't get mad at us, we can go to the beach- or we can go see a movie, my treat!" But first, she'll let her best friend cry. God, it hurts to see her this way. It makes her want to cry too...and she just might.

But Carissa is standing at her locker now, throwing her books into it with likely too much intensity. But a wild Carl will appear, arms folded, "Okay. I've been ignoring you and that's a shitty thing for a best bro to do. But I've known Riley longer and I dunno' where my loyalty is supposed to go, what you did was shitty and-" Much to his disbelief.

Carissa faces him now, hand atop her locker door. Her cheeks are bright red and tear stained. Her nose is swollen and her eyes are puffy, "I swear to fucking god-h-" She begins, taking a deep breath, "Jensen set me the fuck up. I didn't cheat on her. I love her."

Carl has no idea what to say, "...She said you had your hands on her waist and everything, though, that you didn't try to push her away."

But now she'll shudder, eyes closed and tears falling again. Nobody believes her anyway, whats' the point in trying to explain it if nobody wants to listen to her side? She can't even explain herself to Carl anyway right now because she's only thinking of what once was, "We used to talk about getting married and how we wanted each other for life. What we'd wear, what we'd do- who to invite. She's been...my girl for three years, woulda' been four this month. I still want her...I still remember..."

"I still remember..."

Summer after ninth grade. Content on the couch. Crappy horror movies, "That wedding dress is hideous, I'd murder her too."
"Jesus Christ, Riley!" She's laughing, "What, you not gonna' wear a dress at your wedding?"
"It'd be casual. I don't want anything crazy. Like, I think I'd do ivory, not white. Strapless, short, maybe almost kinda a bodycon dress, but not. Or maybe a boho tattered lace dress. And I'd wear a pair of docs." Leaning against Carissa's chest, knees to her own chest, she looks up at those big brown eyes, "What about you?"
"Ivory button down, sleeves rolled up. Plaid bow tie, matching suspenders. Tight fitting dress pants with a studded belt and I'd be wearin' my docs too."
She giggles, "I like that. In Vegas."
"In Vegas. Causal. Close friends and family, cheap beers-"
"And we're still hung over from the night before."
"Oh yeah, definitely still hung over." She's all smiles, looking to her lover so tenderly. She'll gently begin to play with her hair, "We'll get married in Vegas. Keep it casual."
"Will you still want me years from now for it?"
"My heart's yours. Cross my heart and hope to die."
"...Cross my heart and hope to die." They kiss. Slowly, lovingly.

The next few days, Riley mostly sleeps, keeps to herself, aside from answering only a handful of texts from concerned friends. If nothing else, the concert had been fun, definitely. But she can't deny it...being there only made her painfully aware of the fact that Carissa wasn't with her. They were supposed to go to the show together, they're a thing of the past now. Is it always going to be this difficult? The only reason she bothers to leave her house on this blistering Wednesday afternoon is because she's going stir crazy. She opts to board alone, right out of the skate park and towards the pier. She could really go for some comfort food.

'Yeah, I think we deserve a triple jalapeno cheese burger from the shore shack.'

'Oh you bet your ass we deserve it. We got outta' bed and even showered!'

But still, she just can't seem to shake the thoughts no matter what she tries, what she's doing.

Carissa. Carissa. Carissa. Carissa. Carissa.

Fuck, it doesn't stop! And because of this, she ends up crashing right into someone, falling right down onto her right leg, her right hand being the only reason she probably doesn't smash her head into the harsh concrete, "Ugh, shit-" It'll be a nasty scrape on her hand, that's for certain.

"Need a hand?" Utters a disgustingly familiar voice.

'What the hell- Austin?!'

The shock on her face is obvious as she watches the boy extend his arm. She'll pull herself up without his help, "Sorry." Is all she says bitterly for having run right into him.

"Nah, it's totally cool, Riley." But he'll awkwardly pull his extended hand back, "Looks like you were in a hurry." By this point he's picking her skateboard up for her, as if playing nice.

"Just on my way to get a burger." She doesn't believe it for a second. They haven't spoken once since that final day of school in eighth grade. This isn't a coincidence in her opinion, "Can I have my board back?"

"Oh, aha, sorry." He'll hand it off no complaints, "Listen, I know we're not friends. I get it. I was...an asshole, straight up and I don't deserve forgiveness, nor am I looking for it. But I'm willing to put it in the past if you are. Not asking to be friends. But I mean, we're gonna be seniors in a few months. Might as well be civil, right? End it on a good note."

'I don't trust him for a damn minute. He better wipe that grin off of his face.'

'I know, guys, but he has a point. We probably shouldn't hold onto this.'

'Did you forget that we ended up in the hospital because we tried to kill our self? Because of the shit he fucking pulled?'

'I know! I know, I get that! I just think...positive endings are...good.'

She'll be skeptical as ever, but maybe he does have a point. Why hold onto the past? Will she forget it? Absolutely not, that made a huge impact on her life, but there's no reason to hold it like a burden instead of seeing it as something she beat with triumphant colors, "...Fine, we're cool, but we're not friends."

'Good, I'm glad she's cautious. Because once again, I have a bad feeling.'

'Oh, big news, tear out the front page!'

"So, I heard what happened." His brows furrow, "I'm really sorry. That sucks. I've been cheated on."

"I really don't want to talk about this." She's not looking at him, but instead she's preparing to get home, board back on the sidewalk.

"...Fair enough. But I just want ya' to know that I get it, and if you need someone to talk to, I got your back. You'll find another girl, Riley."

Y O U ' L.

But, oh, that comment? It makes her blood boil.

'THAT'S IT, SHITHEAD.'

The seething rage is pushed to the limit by those four awful words, "I don't fucking want another girl!"

He takes a step back, hands raised up cautiously, "Woah, okay, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that-"

'DAMN STRAIGHT, ASSHOLE.'

"Yeah, you shouldn't have. I just fucking told you that I don't want to talk about it!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry-"

"No!" She's done with him, and she's not staying a minute longer, "You don't say sorry, you leave me the fuck alone now." It's not hesitated. That foot is pushed down on the ground. She's out of site so fast. Prepared to get home, to drop herself onto her bed into a fit of hysterics. Going out was a mistake.

Austin is left standing there, lips curled into a devious smile, "You're mine, Andersen."

Eventually her mom will enter, sit on the edge of her daughters bed, attempt to comfort her, hand on her shoulder, "You loved her, it's okay to be upset. But you can't let her do this to you, sweetheart. She messed up something great and she's going to regret it. Screw her, right?" She's trying. The sun is setting, the room is getting dark, and her mother just wants to provide as much love as possible, "It hurts now, but one day, it'll be okay. I promise you that. You know, I've been cheated on too. I was around your age, maybe a little bit older."

'No surprise there, love is an illusion. Dad's probably cheating too.'

But Riley will sit up, tear stained cheeks and all, inquire, "What happened, what'd you do?"

She'll sigh, reach over to plug Riley's string lights in. It's getting too dark, "Well, when I found out, I didn't want to believe it. My best friend Karen told me that she saw him at the mall with this other girl from our class. That she heard him make plans with this same girl for the following Friday." She'll chuckle just a little, "I know it sounds crazy, but I went to the mall...and I followed him. I watched him greet her- Stephanie Conway. Big boobs, blonde and gorgeous." Another sigh, "He kissed her and gave her flowers. I stupidly ran right over, made a scene right there at the mall, but he deserved it. We were pushing it close to a year."

"...How did you get over it?"

"It wasn't easy. First love is hard. But, I went out with friends, even kissed a few friends to feel... better." Her mom will cover her face with a gentle laugh, "I just...moved on and slowly I felt better. And I gave myself a new hairstyle."

'Hey, maybe she's right. Maybe we just need a rebound.'

'Yeah, but we'll just be sad after a rebound hook up.'

'Well, we wanna' keep her hair kinda short, maybe we can just trim it again, re-buzz the one side, to feel a little better.'

Riley will smile, finally sitting up for real to hug her mom, "Thanks, mom."

"No problem, sweetie. You deserve better than being taken for granted."

"So, maybe we should listen to mom." Anger just wants things back to normal, "It's getting late, we can do it tomorrow. The party is in a few days. We can get our hair cut."

"Why don't we just do it ourselves?" It's not a bad idea, Disgust, "The one underside side is getting a little long so we buzz it and then trim our ends. We can get it right in time for the event. Not to mention it'll be a good distraction even if it's only for, like, a half an hour."

"I think that's a good idea, Disgust!" Joy is good for anything constructive. After all, constructive activities can be really good for the mind, "And we can break out that light leather jacket we bought a while back. We haven't worn it because she's been so down. I think we should dress the way we love and update our look a little!" Considering she's been wearing the same pair of jeans and same grey v-neck t-shirt for three days.

And much to their surprise, the main screen turns off rather quickly that night. Really, it's a relief. Fear will sigh, surprisingly relaxed, though a little concerned, "Glad she fell asleep, but...what do we do about the islands. I think maybe we should call for-"

"No, no. We are not calling for him!" Anger is still in denial that they need his help.

"But half her islands are off and that's not good! If we don't fix it, we'll end up like we did years ago!"

"No we won't! We're not suicidal and we're not doing anything unusual! It's just a stupid heartbreak and we're gonna' get over it!"

Sadness, still so sick of the bickering will calm the nerves at HQ, "How about we talk about this tomorrow? I'll take over dream duty today, and you guys can all go to bed."

Joy, for once, is in agreement with Sadness. Arguing won't fix a thing, "She's right, come on boys. We can talk about this in the morning. Disgust is following the other three without a word.

If nothing else, at least Sadness can sit in silence for a while.

She certainly can't say the same for Riley's two best friends, who've been texting her all night on and off between their...activities and hardly receiving responses. Carl returns from the bathroom, shirtless and pants unbuttoned. Amanda, is in her bed, currently pulling her nightgown back on and staring at her phone, "Carissa had the nerve to text me."

Oddly enough, Carl doesn't have a response to this. He simply buttons himself up, "Where are my keys?"

"Uh, hello? Did you not just hear me say that skank just texted me?"

That hits a nerve. Keys gripped in hand, he points a single finger in her direction, leaning over the end of the bed, " 'Ay! Don't call Carissa a skank! She's not a skank!"

"She fucking cheated on Riley with Jensen of all people, I don't think I could see her as anything less!"

"You weren't there, you can't say shit!"

"...Are you for real right now, Carl? She hurt one of your friends and you're defending her?"

"You weren't there!"

"What the hell's gotten into you?!"

He'll snap, he doesn't mean to yell, it just comes out, "I DON'T THINK SHE DID IT!"

There will be a strange silence between the two. Amanda, now knees bent, will wrap her arms around them, "...What did you just say?"

He'll take a minute to calm down before taking a seat beside her feet, hands on his thighs, he'll stare at the pink carpeted floor, "...Look, you're gonna' think this is nuts, but...I don't...think she cheated on Riley."

"You're right, I do think it's nuts-"

"Could you just hear me out?"

"You tell me not to say a word because I wasn't there, but neither were you! Riley said she walked in on Carissa holding her hips and kissing her with her eyes closed. If she didn't want it, she would have pushed her away!"

"And I believe that Jensen set her up!" Another pause, "Let's be real, that girl's lowkey crazy and that's exactly the kind of shit she'd pull." But that's not all, "On the last day of school...I tried to confront Carissa. I've never in my life seen that girl cry, except for when Riley came back from the hospital years ago. She's a guys girl, y'know? She ain't a crier. But The minute I opened my mouth, she turned around and was a hysterical mess. Beggin' me to please believe her. And Carissa isn't a beggar, either."

"...Well, did she say anything to you after that?"

"She said that Jensen pretended to text her dad needing a ride, and instead texted Riley that message to make it look like she was up to no good and then threatened her. She threatened to cry rape at the expense of her father because she knows he's got a record."

"Oh come on, Riley said she said that too and that it's made up."

"Yeah and that's because she doesn't know about his record because she never told Riley about his record. She only told me and the only reason I know at all is because one night she got so drunk she could barely walk, so I drove her home. And as I was helping her get inside, she put her arm around me and just blurted it out. The next day she remembered and panicked. Then she gave me details and told me to swear not to tell."

"But still...then why did she put her hands on Jensen's hips and kiss her?"

"That was what she wanted. She threatened to fuck shit up if Carissa didn't kiss her. The text was obviously sent to Riley because she wanted Riley to catch them and ruin the relationship because she's got a thing for Carissa and she wants her for herself."

"...I don't know, Carl." She still has a number of doubts. How could she make sure that Riley receiving that text would be so perfectly timed with a kiss? Would Carissa really be so stupid as to hand off her phone to Jensen? It just doesn't add up.

"And think about this, if she was really cheating with Jensen, that would mean she wanted to be with her would it not?"

Silence from Amanda again.

"So then why haven't we seen them out and about together? Why haven't we seen them going on dates and holding hands? Why is it every time Jensen says hi to Carissa, she tells her to fuck off? If you're cheating with someone you intend to pursue, you don't blow them off, you don't hide it anymore because your now ex is aware of what you're doing and there's no need to hide it anymore."

"...I guess it's a little weird."

"Babe, we gotta' team up, we gotta' get to the bottom of this."

"No, Carl, we should stay out of this. Riley is my best friend and I don't wanna' make it any harder on her!"

He puts a hand on her knee, "Your my best girl friend, Amanda. We don't have to tell her we're looking into this. She doesn't have to know. But if you love Riley...you'll help me out. They're both miserable. They deserve the chance to get past this, don't you think?"

"...Okay, but we can't tell Riley, okay? She needs to heal."

"It stays between us."

But that night, it seems Riley doesn't stay asleep for long, she wakes up stares at her ceiling. And with Sadness being the only one who opted to take the overnight shift, she can only lay in bed and cry. No matter what she does, she can't stop thinking about Carissa.

'Oh no, I'm so afraid she'll do something she shouldn't.' She wants to push that button, 'I can't...they would never forgive me. Maybe a memory of her past to remind her to stay strong will help.'

But what Sadness doesn't realize is how bad of an idea that is.

Suddenly she's flooded with old memories. Memories of the first time. The first time that box cutter is placed against her bare skin. She can never forget that discomforting mix of relief and regret. She'll raise her left arm. Scars are merely white indents against her skin now. Hardly visible unless one is looking closely.

But the imagery won't stop. It replays and replays. It is a trigger. She is being triggered.

She'll sit up, sniffling with anxiety. Her nose is swollen, she can't even breathe, "I-I can't-h- I can't do this-h!" Triggered. She's frantic walking along that dark bedroom, finally she finds it, at the bottom of her desk drawer. It happens so quickly. Pressed up, right against her skin, across her wrist, deep and unforgiving.

'No! Riley- I-I didn't want you to do that! I better wake up the others!'

She'll throw her old friend across the room in a fit of frustration, "God fucking dammit!" The blood is staining her pajama pants, and she'll place her hand over her arm. Oh, the tears will only fall harder now.

'How could you, Sadness?!'

'I-I didn't mean to...I thought showing her that would help her...to not do anything stupid.'

'That's it. We're calling Motivation. I don't care what anyone thinks. We need him. We're not going to fall back down again.'

That's Riley's biggest fear. Spiraling back down.