It hadn't been planned, and it was far from anything resembling organized, but all the same, they had somehow managed to get an entire turkey into the fridge a full two days ahead of thanksgiving.
Mamoru heaved out a sigh of exertion, stretching his arms out and shaking them a bit. "That one was a heifer!" Being in the company of nothing but females for most of his life, he was of course appointed the handy man, the lifter of heavy objects, the ocassional exterminator whenever anything needed done. He eyed the twenty pound bald bird now lodged between a jug of milk and an off-kilter carton of eggs. "I don't know if the door will close."
"Of course it will!" Usagi argued, slamming the door before he could stop her. As he predicted though, it hung ajar a half inch, unable to close around the girth of the meat. "Just needs a little help," she insisted, leaning both arms against the door in a futile effort to force them closed.
"Its fine, we just need to clean a few things out to make room," Mamoru said, ever the voice of reason in this relationship. He had accepted his role long ago, and given up all hope that logic would ever be a factor in Usagi's rationale.
The blonde made a face, something between embarassment and guilt. "There must be another way to fit it, what if we just cut off a bit of it?"
"Then the turkey won't cook evenly. Its really not a big deal," Mamoru started to the open the door, pulling his hand back when Usagi made a battering ram lunge to shove it closed.
"No really, I think if we just-"
He let out a heavy sigh, interrupting her before she could complete whatever hairbrained idea was about to come out of her mouth. "What do you have in the back of the fridge?"
There was an overlong pause. "Nothing!" She had turned on the puppy eyes and the hairs on the back of his neck were beginning to stand up in warning.
"Well if its nothing, then let's just throw it out." He reached for the handle of the door again.
"Its just," Usagi chewed on her bottom lip, wringing her hands while her cheeks began to redden. "I mean...well..." Mamoru waited patiently for her to get it out, removing his hand from the door. She was a human food disposal system, he couldn't dredge up any idea what could possibly be this humiliating in her fridge, nothing survived for more than a week. "You remember last summer, when we were having that barbeque and I made you promise that you wouldn't eat anymore hamburgers when you told me where they came from?"
"Yes," Mamoru drawled, leaning up against the still slightly open fridge. He'd been forced onto a nearly vegetarian diet after Usagi found out where bacon, hamburgers, and hotdogs originated. She had been aghast at the idea of innocent animals being harmed, and he had wisely kept his mouth shut about the eggs, chicken and fish he could still enjoy without oversight.
"And you remember how after Ami's birthday party, the girls and I all decided to go on a roadtrip to Kyoto?"
"Yesss..." A light was beginning to dawn for Mamoru on what Usagi might have hidden away in the back of her fridge.
"It was a really long drive, and I was really hungry when we finally got to Kyoto..."
"After eating 3 helpings of birthday cake," Mamoru noted.
"I only ate two and a half!" She blushed again, looking back at her feet. "Anyway, we had just gotten to Kyoto and I was starving. We didn't know our way around, but there was this burger place right in front of the gas station and-"
"You didn't," he mumbled, not sure if he could believe where this was heading.
Usagi nodded, looking like she was on the verge of tears. "I ate a double cheeseburger, and it was so good Mamoru!" She was literally crying now, pleading for him to understand. "I didn't realize how much I would miss it, I thought I could give it up for the sake of the animals. I l-love a-animals." She was tripping over her words now and beginning to hiccup and Mamoru knew it was a matter of seconds before she was a hysterical mess.
"You bought meat," he said, opening the fridge and fishing around behind the turkey. Underneath several layers of leftover rice, overturned bottles and blocks of cheese, he felt the recognizable squishiness of something shaped like a hotdog.
"I did," she admitted, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeves and hiding her face. "I'm so sorry, I know I made you promise you wouldn't eat cows or pigs anymore and I was never going to eat them again either..."
"Its okay," Mamoru said, brushing away a tear with his thumb. The ridiculousness of this entire exchange, considering they had just purchased a massive turkey for consumption, wasn't lost on him. But telling Usagi that turkey came from a real live turkey (a concept that seemed lost on her for several animals that shared their names with their meat, like chicken), didn't seem like the wisest decision at the moment. "And I'll forgive you-if you agree to let me have one of those hotdogs too."
Usagi gave him a wet smile, nodding and planting a salty kiss on him before he could back away. "Deal."
AN: I haven't written in a while and today my coworkers were discussing writing so I thought I'd do a dabble because you know...peer pressure.