A/N: Meh. I figured that I should let you guys linger on the feels of Chapter Sixteen for a moment, since it was my most angsty chapter yet. XD /shot
Anyways, this chapter is pretty long so hurrah! *u*
I now present to you the 17th chapter of A Different Kind of Torture!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Desensitization
"Hey Aki-kun? Why are ya so glum? You'll be meeting the other members of the band today you know." Shiro said while flipping through the pages of a random book, his feet both propped up on the table.
Aki was still feeling depressed despite how two weeks have already passed since the incident between her and Feitan.
"Ne, Shiro-kun. Do you think I'm a horrible person?" Aki randomly asked while she was staring out the window, her head slumped to the desk.
Shiro raised a brow at her, amused at the fact that she's been like this already for two weeks; she didn't tell him why she was acting this way— for some reason she was being very secretive at the moment.
He sighed as he put the book down to his side. "Weeeeelll~ I don't know what your definition of 'horrible' is, but from my point of view, you seem to be a nice girl. I really don't know why you're feeling so depressed and all. And it's been two weeks already!"
'Heh. Yeah, it's been two weeks alright. And I bet he's still mad at me; heck, up until now he still hasn't looked for me. Not that I'm expecting him to though, after what I did.' She bitterly thought.
But what if he already left?
What if he actually was already sick of you too that he just decided to go on his own and leave?
…
What if he already went to where he wanted to go?
Shivers suddenly went up Aki's spine. Indeed, she thought. There was a high probability that Feitan may have already decided to leave her alone and go on his way after what she did, considering that it has already been two weeks and she still has heard no sign of him.
"Hello Aki-kun? You still with me?" Shiro asked as he waved a hand on Aki's face, waking her from her reverie.
Aki blinked for a few times in confusion before smiling. "Oh yes, yeah sorry about that. Anyways, where will we be meeting the other members? I'm quite excited to meet them to be honest."
Shiro rolled his eyes at her response. "Yeah right, so being all glum is your definition of 'excitement'. I will be adding that to my dictionary of you."
Aki mumbled a silent 'jerk' before standing up and stretching her arms.
"Well, let's head to the café then. We mustn't keep these busy members of yours waiting. Aand I honestly think that we should start with practice you now? We're barely two weeks away from the competition. And if you want to bag a place, I highly suggest that we should start practicing now."
"Ugh, true. Oops wait. I want to tell you something very important though, y'know… before meeting them." Shiro sheepishly said while scratching the back of his head.
Aki let out a confused look. "What is it?"
Shiro scratched the back of his head once again, sweat starting to trickle down his temples. He had a flushed expression on his face, by which he couldn't be able to look at Aki in the eye.
"Well?"
"Uh… Aki-kun well, uh. Ugh. Oh fuck, better be straight with it once and for all, since you'll be joining the band. I guess you have the right to know."
Aki raised at brow at this. The right to know what?
Upon hearing no response from the girl, Shiro continued. "Well, please promise me that whatever happens, please don't judge them. You see, they're not the kind of regular people you know. And some of them are literally not 'regular' to most people of the society. But I'm begging you, please accept them, yeah? Right?"
Aki let out a small laugh before playfully punching Shiro in the shoulder. "Of course I would, silly! Who do you take me for? Of course I'll accept them for who they are. They'll be my future band mates too, and I have to know them to the fullest so we can all get along well rather nicely don't you think?"
Shiro laughed as well. "Hah, of course. So yeah. Also, you have to promise me another thing."
Aki stopped laughing and looked at him in the eye. "Eh, what is it?"
"Promise me that you'll be telling me the exact reason why you're feeling so depressed. Even a blind man can see your gloomy vibes. Be it family reasons, friends, your boyfriend or whatever, I want to help you as a friend. You can't keep on relying on your best friend Momo forever, right? I'm a friend too. Our other bandmates are friends too." Shiro solemnly said while he placed his hands on Aki's shoulders, looking at her with kind eyes.
Aki let out another small smile before responding.
"Yeah, I promise."
"Why won't you shaddup will ya?! You're trying to disrupt my focus. I can't write a fucking song with your blabbering."
"Oh em gee don't be such a sourpuss, Sakura-chan."
"Fuck you! And how many times have I told you to never use that fucking name? It's Hiroshi. HIROSHI!"
"…"
"I'll tell you on on Shiro-kun when he arrives! You're so cruel to me... If you won't stop being such a meanie well then you have to find yourself another drummer!"
"Feh. I wouldn't care any less."
"W-why y-you!"
"Hey you guys!"
The three guys who were sitting on a table suddenly turned to the source of the voice, who turned out to be Shiro.
"Speak of the devil."
"Shiro-chaan!"
"…"
Shiro grinned his trademark smile as he made his way towards his band members.
"Yo! Sakura-kun, don't tell me you're picking on Akuma-chan again. I already told you no fights, remember?"
"Shut up man. It's Hiroshi. HI-RO-SHI." the male with jet-black spiky hair grumpily said. His golden eyes carried on a scary expression as he glared at Shiro.
"Yeah, yeah. Chill." Shiro cheerily waved off the topic as Aki timidly followed closely behind him.
The guy named Akuma, with light blue hair, swiftly turned to look at the girl behind Shiro, who was undoubtedly, Aki.
"Eh? Shiro-kun? Who's the girl?"
Two other two males turned to look as well.
"Yeah, finally snagged a girl huh?"
"…"
Shiro face palmed himself in embarrassment, his face turning red by the second.
Aki, on the other hand, wanted to be sucked to the ground alive at this moment.
"Shut up both of you. Why not emulate Kenji-kun instead? Look at how silent he is."
"…"
"Fuck you."
"Ooh Shiro-kun such a meanie!"
Shiro coughed loudly as he pulled out a chair and motioned Aki to sit down.
Aki wordlessly obliged as she timidly sat down, trying to avoid the two intense stares that were boring on her.
"Well anyways. I want to introduce to you our newest band member… Asada Aki!" Shiro proudly announced as he made flamboyant gestures.
The guy named 'Akuma' stared at her for a moment longer before his eyes widened in surprise.
"OMG YOU ARE SO FUCKING PRETTY AND TINY!" he immediately exclaimed before glomping Aki into a large bear hug, much to the surprise of the latter.
Aki nervously laughed as she attempted to pat his back in response. "Why thank you. It's nice to meet you uh—"
"It's Akuma! Masahiro Akuma! But I'd like it if you'd just call me Aku-chan!" Akuma cheerily said as he finally pulled back from the bone-crushing hug.
In all honesty, Aki could almost imagine him being surrounded by an aura of flowers.
"Then Aku-chan it is! It's nice to meet you. And to you guys as well." Aki smiled, finally turning to look at the two remaining members.
"Feh. You sure you know how to play the guitar?" The guy named Hiroshi, Sakura, or whatever it was cockily said.
A vein popped on Aki's forehead but she decided to let it slip. "Why, of course. I hope you won't doubt my skills though. I could show them to you once we start with band practice. And your name is SAKURA I presume, huh, Sakura-chan?" She sarcastically said while letting out a sickeningly-sweet smile.
"WHY YOU FUCK HOW DARE THIS CHICK—"
Smack!
"Shut up, don't be an embarrassment to the band." The guy who seemed to be named as Kenji, quietly said as he smacked Hiroshi in the head.
"Fu—"
Smack.
"Shut up."
Hiroshi sent him a death glare before finally deciding to be quiet.
"Uhh. It's nice to meet you uh—"
"Shinichi Kenji."
"Right, Shinichi-san. It's nice to meet you." Aki sheepishly grinned while extending out her hand, by which surprisingly, Shinichi took and made a handshake with her.
"Kenji will do."
"Err, right."
"Yoshi! So now everyone knows everyone. Just so you know Aki-kun, Hiroshi-kun is in-charge of the keyboards, Akuma-kun for the drums, and Kenji-kun for the rhythm. And of course, the great me is in-charge of playing the bass! Now, why don't we crash at the studio and start with band practice right now!" Shiro cheerfully said while motioning for Aki to stand up once again.
Hiroshi rolled his eyes as he glared at Shiro; Kenji and Akuma on the other hand stood up from their seats as well.
"Tch. Whatever."
"Yay! Practice!"
"…"
"Cool." Aki smiled as they started to head out of the café.
'My bandmates are awfully rowdy and fun.' She smiled as she followed them out.
As they were walking, Shiro discreetly pulled Aki to his side and softly said, "So… what do you think about the other members?"
Aki thoughtfully lifted a finger to her chin as she smiled. "Well, they're rowdy and fun. I kinda like them. In actuality, I honestly think that I may get along with them well, especially Aku-chan." She fondly said.
Shiro let out his trademark grin as he patted Aki on the head. "Thank you. For a second there I thought you will run away or something, considering how… different they seem to be. Thank you for not judging them."
"Naah, no worries." Aki responded as she waved a hand off. "They seem like pretty nice people anyway, save for Sakura-chan who seems to be a grumpy old hag." She cringed at the thought while glaring at Hiroshi who was up front briskly walking, his hands in his pockets.
"Uh, also about that Aki-kun… but if you don't mind, could you call him Hiroshi-kun instead? He seems to be well… you know… very sensitive about his first name."
Aki raised a brow at that statement. "Eh? How come?"
"Well…" Shiro nervously chuckled. "I guess you'll have to ask Hiroshi about that one sometime."
Aki shrugged. "Fine with me. It'd be nice bullying him though, since he always seems to have a short fuse."
"Hah! Now that's my girl. It's a good thing you're finally somewhat positive-looking now. You were really gloomy before we entered the café you know. It's as if you actually didn't want to meet them." Shiro joked as the group turned around the corner.
Aki silently thought for a moment before finally responding.
"I have a reason for my actions though. I'll tell you later the story after practice." She said while looking ahead.
Shiro nodded in response before taking out a key from his pocket as soon as the group stopped in front of a building painted in black and red.
"I'll be looking forward to that story of yours."
The band practiced until the stars were gleaming out in the night sky. After practicing two more songs, they finally decided to call it a day.
"Hahh I'm beat!" Akuma said as he slumped to the floor, his arms and legs spread out as if he was lying down on a bed of snow.
Hiroshi glared at Aki before gruffly letting out a "You're good."
Aki gratefully smiled as she sat down on the floor as well, her back pressing against the cold stone wall.
"Thanks."
"Yeah! Who knew that you could sing and play so well! I knew I had a talent for scouting good members." Shiro proudly said as he sat down next to Aki, ruffling her hair.
Aki smiled in content; for some reason she really loved it when people patted her head or ruffled her hair.
"…"
Kenji stared at Aki for a moment before putting his headphones on.
"So… how about that story?" Shiro started.
Aki turned to look at him, surprise evident on her face.
"Eh? I thought I was supposed to—"
"Well. Your problem is a problem of the band now as well. Of course, you should also tell the others your story. Who knows, all of us may actually be of help to you ya know."
Aki nervously looked around her as soon as the three other members started to turn their attention to her; Hiroshi looked away from the manga he was reading, Akuma stopped eating his cake, and Kenji removed his headphones after a silent groan.
"Err uhh… You guys sure about this?"
"Of course!"
"Hn."
"Definitely, Aki-chan!"
"…"
Aki let out a deep sigh before responding. "Fine. I guess I should tell you my story from the very beginning then. But I'm warning you, this will be very, very long."
The four males shrugged as they started to lean in closer, ready to listen to Aki's story.
"Well… It started from this guy…"
An hour and a half later, Akuma was sobbing into Aki's lap as soon as she was done with her story. The other three guys, on the other hand, were silent in their seats.
Surprisingly, as Aki was telling her story, none of them made any qualms to interrupt, not even Hiroshi.
She was also surprised at the fact that she was able to not shed any tears, especially when it came to the part wherein she said such cruel things to Feitan.
"Oh dear no, Aki. You poor thing! Where's that Taka person and lemme bitch slap him 'til his pretty face falls off! I knew it that you should never ever trust host club members! And Feitan! That sadistic little cutie. Why did you say such things to him?" Akuma cried as he continued to sob into Aki's lap, much to the awkward feeling of the latter as she petted his head.
"Well, yeah. I plan to confront him sooner or later though, and probably break up with him."
Shiro stayed silent for a while before finally speaking. "I know! Why don't you invite him to the competition. Like, ask for a sign or something. If he comes, well, I guess you can try to sort things out with him. A stupid idea, yes, but based from the story you told us, it's as if you… you know, still seemed to love him. I guess we can't do anything about that one. But of course, if he does end up not coming well… screw him and break up. You're better off with this Feitan guy ya know, despite the fact that he's very violent."
Aki nodded in response, taking in what Shiro had just said.
Hiroshi did not say a word as he stood up. "Well, too much drama to be in relationships. Can't take all that shit. The only thing I can say is to leave that Taka guy once and for all. And for Feitan, dunno do whatever the hell you want with him after you guys make up." He shrugged before waving a hand at them. "I'm off you guys, I still have part-time tomorrow morning."
The remaining four waved their goodbyes at Hiroshi as he walked out the door, leaving Aki, Shiro, Akuma, and Kenji behind.
As soon as Hiroshi left, Kenji silently responded. "Go home and apologize. No use in running away from your problems."
Akuma's eyes widened as he swiftly lifted his head up to look at Kenji.
"Oh my gosh Kenji-kun! That was the longest two sentences I have ever heard from you! And such words of wisdom at that!"
Kenji looked at Akuma for a second before putting on his headphones once again to shut himself away from reality for a moment.
"Well, you heard Kenji, Aki-kun. I guess it's time for you to go home. By means of home, I mean your home, not some dormitory room. And if you're wondering about the dorms, don't worry, I've got ya. A close friend of mine is in-charge of the dorms you're in, so it'll be a piece of cake to move out. Besides, they don't mind you leaving as long as you still continue to pay your rent since technically, you applied to stay for a semester."
Aki contemplated for some time, staying silent as she weighed her options.
True, as much as she hated to admit it, she has been running away from her problems for quite some time now.
'To think that I let this drag on for so long… I also am partly at fault since I overstepped my boundaries and gave him cruel treatment.' She sadly thought.
She looked at the window to her right and wondered if Feitan was out somewhere right now, looking at the same night sky as her.
"Yeah. I think it's time for me to come home and patch things up with him once and for all."
Momo was getting ready for bed as she was done putting on her pink and fluffy bunny pajamas when her phone vibrated.
"Eh, who might this be at this time of night?" she wondered as she started to reach for her phone, only to widen her eyes in surprise as she read the message.
From: Aki-chan
Subject: Omw home
Momo-chan! I'm so sorry for my past glumness, but I think I'm okay now. I already met up with the band btw. AND THEY ARE AMAZING! ^-^
Also… well, about my issue. I don't want to run away from my problems anymore. I don't want to be a coward. I also don't want to depend on you or to anyone else just because I can't face my issues alone. I have to confront Taka once and for all, and possibly break up with him. I also have to apologize to Feitan as well. Partially I am at fault.
So… yeah, I'm on my way home right now, with my clothes and all. Wish me luck! T~T
And no, I do not like Feitan in any romantic way, if that's what you're wondering right now. Just to clear things up. =3=
Xoxo Aki.
Momo read the text one more time before letting out a proud smile, hitting on the reply button to text her reply.
"I'm so proud of you, Aki-chan. I bet your parents are just as proud too. You're finally growing up to be a woman."
Aki was panting as soon as she reached the front door to her house.
"Fuck this. I knew I shouldn't have bought so many clothes." She groaned as she let her bags drop to the floor with a loud thump while she set her guitar gently to the side as she reached for her keys.
'Ugh. I hope he doesn't kill me when he sees me though. Or I'll never be able to properly apologize.' She worriedly thought as the door opened with a soft creak.
"Tadaima."
The house was dark and silent, save for the dim light by the hallway. He seemed to be home, she thought as she entered, bringing her bags and guitar inside.
"Hey Feitan?"
No response.
'Eh, he must be asleep or something.' she mused as she started to slowly go up the stairs, concentrating very hard on not letting the weight of her bags and guitar overpower her.
As soon as she entered her room, however, she heard the distinct sound of a shower running in the other room.
'Eh, could he possibly be—?'
Feitan was too preoccupied in showering at the moment to even realize that Aki was finally home. It had indeed been two long weeks of being alone that he had somehow gotten used to the fact that most likely Aki would not be coming home for some time.
'Not my fault stupid girl didn't come home. I only need shelter for temporary time. Then I leave once I know how to get home.' He firmly thought to himself as he continued to lather his hair.
Although he somehow felt different after his fight with Aki, he seemed to have moved on from the issue, focusing on his goal instead, which is to immediately and successfully return home.
However, Feitan was still human. Despite how many times he reminds himself that he shouldn't care about it anymore, he still can't help but wonder why these feelings of confusion just wouldn't go away.
He somehow felt annoyed at himself for being somewhat attached to Aki now, as if she was actually one of the Genei Ryodan. It frustrated him to the point of wondering how in the world that had happened.
Was he unconsciously getting closer to her towards the ordeal?
Or was it just because she was physically his companion at the moment, in this foreign world?
Feitan glared at the bottom of the bathtub as he watched the soap suds gradually trickle down towards the drain, focusing his attention towards that instead in order to avoid the issue at hand.
Quite the opposite reaction to how Aki faces it, actually.
And in all honesty, since Aki left, he was now able to take longer showers and let down his guard more. Hence, the long showers.
But then again, tonight was different.
As soon as he turned off the shower, he suddenly heard a knock from the bathroom door, which immediately made his guard go up. He was about to kill the living nightlights out of the person outside when the intruder immediately spoke.
"Feitan, are you in there?"
Feitan immediately froze upon hearing Aki's voice. Shit, he thought. He didn't know what to do, especially now that he was in this awkward situation of practically being naked with only a towel to cover him.
He frantically starting to think of other options when Aki continued to speak.
"Hey, I know you're in there. And most likely you're mad at me or something, but I just want to face this issue once and for all, well in my vocabulary we have an issue so yeah…"
Aki bumped her head on the door in frustration, making Feitan raised a brow.
Although he was itching to just go out the window and leave, there was some small voice inside him that told him to try to listen to what Aki has to say for once; who knows, he might actually trust her again after what she did.
And besides, he also was fully aware at the fact that somehow, he was also partially at fault, considering how he still stepped over his boundaries and scared Aki with one of her "taboos".
But then again, this is Feitan we're talking about. Of course he wouldn't admit that fact out loud, especially not in front of Aki.
After moments of internal debate, he finally decided to sit down on the edge of the tub to listen silently.
Aki realized that there was a lack of response from the latter, but she still decided to continue on with what she had to say; after all, she was decided to set things straight no matter how dire the consequences may possibly be.
"Crap. I'm sorry, I honestly don't know where to start. This is actually my first time to mess up big time so I'm really at a loss on what to do. Oh god, you honestly have most of my 'first times' you know. Are you trying to make a record?" Aki joked while awkwardly laughing.
Shit, it's not working, she bitterly and embarrassingly thought.
"Ah, please excuse my dry humor. Fuck, I'm just not good with explanations like this." Aki bumped her head on the door once again, before leaning on it, earning another amused look from Feitan from the other side of the door.
"Fine. I don't know where to start so I'll just say I'm sorry. I mean, yeah. I-I know that somehow I was also in the wrong of saying such cruel things to you. Yeah, I know you're sadistic and all, hell, you're even merciless. But still, I want to apologize. I honestly didn't mean to say those things. I mean, I was just carried away by anger. Crap, I keep on saying 'I mean' too many times. Ugh, fuck this. I'm really sorry. I know I shouldn't have overreacted that way. But being the bitchy person I am when scared, I tend to give out outbursts like that when I couldn't take it anymore."
Feitan still listened on solemnly, although he narrowed his eyes at the door with suspicion.
Aki continued on, half-expecting that no response would be made.
"I just got really pissed off and somehow hurt, because you seemed to have no concern at all. I mean, I know you know that I have a taboo for organs like that right? But then again, I shouldn't have taken up a medical-related course if I couldn't desensitize myself from a simple heart. Oh dear, I'm so terrible at this, I-I'm s-sorry. It's just my first time to be apologizing like this… Crap, here I am babbling again." She bitterly laughed as she slowly slumped to the floor, her back still leaning against the door.
"You know, somehow I regret stopping you that night. I should've let you do your thing. I honestly was stupid for letting that Taka jerk get away. Heh, calling me his girlfriend then leaving me without hesitation once danger arises? Like, who the heck does that?
I knew it. I should have listened to you and Momo. Yeah, I know you're thinking right now 'What did I do?' or some shit like that. But promise me, in your own unique way, I know that somehow you've been implying to me to leave the jerk alone. I'm so stupid for letting him get away, for trying to hold onto him…
But the worst thing of all…
Drip.
Drip.
… I'm so stupid for breaking your trust, for ruining what little relationship we have. Hah shit." Aki laughed as she felt the tears start to slowly stream down her face, no matter how hard she tried to hold it in.
"Crap hah. Why the fuck won't these tears stop. Hehe. I'm so stupid, right, Feitan? To think that all this time, you were actually the one who stuck by my side, no matter how insignificant and clumsy I may be. Shit, they still won't stop falling, haha I'm so stupid…
… I'm so stupid for realizing just now how important you've actually been to me. I mean, look at you. You tend to be cruel at me, we had a really bad start, but the fact that you didn't leave makes me feel… you know… appreciated. I'm really happy at that fact. Despite how many times we get into fights, or despite how many times we are literally into each other's throats, you're still here. Right?" she smiled, the tears continuing to stream down her face.
"Hey, Feitan. You're still there right? I hope you are. It's not every day I open up like this. Why the hell am I starting to trust you? Why am I not… afraid of you? Yeah, I'm stupid for saying that I am, but I was only influenced by my anger. But still… why am I feeling reassured that you won't hurt me, or rather, kill me? Crap. Now I'm blabbering nonsensical things. Hah. Shit. Hey, Feitan. Answer me, why am I feeling this way? Crap. I feel so stupid right now. And you know what honestly really scares me?"
Aki suddenly stopped and bit her lower lip so hard that blood started to come out; she did all she could in order not to let out a sob.
'Shit no, I can't cry out loud… not this time, not until I've said everything I wanted to say. Shit, I can't cry.' She mentally coached herself.
Feitan, on the other hand, surprisingly listened to every single word that Aki had to say. She was very random, he thought.
And she really sucked at apologizing like this.
Somehow, throughout Aki's explanation, the pang in his heart started to emit a weird feeling once again; a feeling he couldn't explain.
All he knew that it was an uncomfortable feeling that he would love to immediately expel.
After calming herself down, Aki continued with her blabbering.
"Crap. Where was I again? Oh shit never mind. Look, I'm sorry. I mean… Maybe I'm just not ready to face my trauma, my phobia. I'm so stupid, right? Haha, no wonder I always get cheated on, hah. But then again, I guess I have to thank you too in a way, because despite knowing that what you did was a prank, within the deep recesses of my mind, I still could not deny the fact that somehow, maybe in a way you are helping me to desensitize my fear by actually showing to me what I fear the most— but of course, you wouldn't think about this solution, would you?" she smiled, frantically wiping her tear-filled eyes, by which they still won't stop falling.
"Heh. Anyways, thank you for that. Oh shit I'm so random. Crap, why must I suck at situations like these, it makes me look so uncool." She continued, slapping her forehead with her right hand.
"I know you won't trust me after all that has happened, heck, maybe you'll actually leave now that you know that I've returned home. Shit. But still… I hope that somehow, you'll hear me out. You're not the only one who's messed up… I am too, in my own peculiar way. Which reminds me, Momo actually showed me this article of having tons of murders around Tokyo recently. She even told me that perhaps it was your doing. But you know what the weird part is? For some reason I actually didn't believe. Heck, I even told her that it definitely wasn't you, no matter what she says. Why the fuck did I say that? Crap. Even I don't understand. Heh… I'm so messed up, right? But like, you wouldn't be able to do that, right? You didn't kill me, so it couldn't possibly be you. It's so messed up, but this insidious part of me thinks that I wouldn't mind even if those murders were caused by you. Hah, is this what you call 'accepting someone wholeheartedly'? I'm being random again. Shit, why must I be so stupid? Hah… You know what fears me the most?"
Feitan stood up and was about to go out the window instead— he surprisingly wanted to avoid her for the time being, for a reason he cannot fathom why.
He was also somewhat surprised that despite what Aki told him two weeks ago, he can't help but feel as if the girl somewhat trusted him.
It felt as if was she said that night two weeks ago were all lies.
He decided that he should leave before he changed his mind; but upon hearing Aki's last words, he froze once again in his spot.
"… for some other stupid reason of mine… the thing that fears me the most is having you leave me." The tears could not take it anymore as they now freely flowed down Aki's face; her throat hurt so much that she decided to finally let it go, making her sob loudly.
"Crap hah, I'm sorry for being such a big crybaby right now but I just couldn't take it anymore. Fuck. Why am I feeling so afraid of being left alone? And now I included you in my list. Fuck, I'm sorry… Ne, Feitan? You won't leave, right? Despite this crappy situation we're in, you won't leave me right? You're used to me already, and I swear I'll start to understand you, to get used to you too. I now finally understand our differences… so you won't leave, right? I'm not too late to change my perception towards you, right?" she attempted to smile, turning her head towards the door to face it.
'Enough'. Feitan finally concluded in his mind as he started to dart towards the window. He couldn't bear to hear another word from Aki; for some reason, every word she said made him feel a pang in his heart— a feeling that he desperately wanted to eliminate.
Was it hurt?
Betrayal?
… Understanding?
These feelings continued to confuse him to no end, which escalated the moment Aki opened her mouth and blabbered away.
Feitan honestly didn't know what to do with these feelings, nor how to deal with Aki. He felt frustrated at the fact that now he was left with no other possible option to choose; he hatedb being out of options.
And now, the lone solution he could only think of was to try to avoid the situation at hand; he couldn't bear the situation at the moment, no matter how sadistic and inhumane he was most of the time.
But then again, Feitan was human too; he also had feelings like a regular person, despite the differences in his upbringing.
And it was currently his first time to feel such foreign feelings, by which he really wasn't sure that he wanted it to stay.
He stealthily opened the window of the bathroom and expertly jumped out, softly landing on the backyard, and hurriedly went inside to change his clothes, only to leave the house once again in a blur in his original clothes, bringing his weapon in tow.
"Ne, Feitan. You won't leave me right? Everyone leaves me, except for Momo. But then again, most of the people I know tend to leave me. But you won't leave me, right? You're different, right? Your existence and tolerance of my attitude is what proves it. Ne, Feitan… are you still listening?" Aki wondered, attempting to smile as she slowly stood up and knocked on the door.
"Feitan? You're in there, right? You're listening to me… right?" She frantically asked as soon as she felt as if the bathroom was quiet; not even a sound of a drop of water was heard.
"Feitan?" she called again before attempting to open the door, which was surprisingly unlocked all this time.
"I'm coming in. Sorry for barging in Feitan but I—"
Aki suddenly stopped, the tears starting to freely flow down her tear-stained face once again, making her silent sobs gradually turn louder by the second.
"F-Feitan… did you leave?" she desperately asked, her voice raising, mixing with her now loud sobs.
No one responded back, except for the chilly wind that entered from the open window.
A/N: Crap. I think I just ended up making another angsty chapter. T~T
AKI! This is all your fault, look at what happened now. =3=
SilverSapphire34523: Haha! Well… She does seem to be this crazy over-protective bestfriend. XD Gaah *Attempts to tell you but suddenly clamps mouth* Urk. It'll be a surprise~ *u*
Happy Kitty: *comforts you and gives you a bar of chocolate* Thank you! And yes, the feels of that chapter! It makes me… ugh! T_T Yay! I'm grateful that I somehow still made him in-chara. *sweats* Phew! I love you too, and thank you. :*
Smileyfrown: You're welcome! ^-^ True, I actually yearn for Feitan fan fics myself, but because of the scarcity, my obsession made me write a fan fic of my own hah. *~* Ooh, you'll be hearing plenty from them soon! :D
Rinrikapyon: The feels of the angst! TT_TT Fufufu~ But yes, little by little, unconsciously their feelings are starting to change. I mean, they're slowly leveling up from the "acquaintance" level. XD And thank you very much~! ^_^
Baby Gurl Alexandra: Hihi I'm glad I made you laugh! Naaw, it's just some random line I made myself. ^_^
Isella of the wolf tribe: *gravely nods* True. If only Aki knew… Gaah! Hihi, true. But then again, Feitan is Feitan. His feelings may turn out to be something else~~ *u*
Chiikaboom: Omg yes! The feels of that chapter was so… Crap, I honestly was trying very hard not to cry as I wrote it. ._. Ohoho true~ Who knew that Feitan actually had some human side in him too? XD As for Taka… well, I bet he's on his way to misery. He's pretty close… just a bit more pushing and he might go bye-bye. /slapped by Aki. Yes, it's a wonder how Aki tends to trust her gut feeling often though despite the dangers of being skewered by Feitan once she tackled him. XD Ohoho~~ All I can say for now is that I hope you look forward to the future chapters! *U*
ShadE: Yay thank you so much! *hands you two packs of cookies* ^_^ Hihi I was watching an episode of Tokyo Ghoul the night I wrote that so… hah it kinda made a cameo role in my story. XD
Ruby720: I know! Aki just actually asked for a first-class ticket to the afterlife from Feitan. XD True, despite Feitan's nature and personality, she indeed has gone a bit too far with her words. *attempts to slap Aki but gets stabbed instead* Fufufu, in this chapter though Aki seems to… let's say, wake up or something. And for Taka. HAH! Lucky bastard, I bet he won't be so lucky the next time around though. *u* Ohoho, I will be keeping that suggestion in mind, thanks. Yay! Arigatou~~ Will definitely be updating often though. ^_^
Comments, reviews, suggestions, criticisms and whatnot are very much accepted and highly appreciated, thank you!