Hinoka's Bizarre Adventure: Camilla Is Breakable
Selena stood at the edge of a ravine, while dead trees and foliage swayed behind her. She looked below her to discover the valley was filled with corpses; each of them were identical in their resemblance to her mother.
She slowly turned her gaze upward to discover a large, dark-purple dragon floating at the other edge of the ravine. The flapping of its wings was the source of the wind gusts, and its six eyeballs twitched and squirmed like an arachnid. The dragon reared its head back, only to let out an ear-piercing roar.
Selena snapped upright in her bed while sunlight poured through the window directly onto her eyes. She squinted before burying her face in her pillow.
That damn nightmare was still haunting her, even after all these years. It's not like she had nothing else to be afraid of. King Garon did an outstanding job of filling her spirit with dread and despair. It was just the simple fact that nothing scared her quite like her father. Or, her father after he was possessed by an ancient spirit.
"Is everything alright, dear?" Subaki asked as he laid on his side. His incredibly well-kept chest muscles were bare and revealed to the world. "You seem to be smothering that pillow."
"Do me a favor and draw those blinds," Selena responded before rolling onto her back. Her arms folded as her husband stood up.
"As you wish." He stated as he brought the red curtains together. "Are you thinking about your mother again?" Subaki asked as he laid in bed next to her while his loving arms wrapped around her figure as he noticed her scowl. Selena didn't bother telling him that her mother was the last thing on her mind, but she played along. "It's quite unhealthy to dwell in the past. Do you have any positive memories of her?"
"Well, there was that one time after I saved their world." Selena began to narrate that night while Subaki listened intently. "So I was out drinking with a friend at our favorite pub when I realized it was getting late. This was a particularly chilly night, and my friend walked me back to my parent's house because rent is expensive. So we said our goodbyes and I came into the front room to see my parents playing chess while cradling the baby version of myself." Selena paused as she struggled to remember what entailed.
"So the child version of you that you helped deliver?" Subaki asked.
"Yeah. So I stumbled over to the table and asked 'Hey mom, are you a virgin?'." Selena mildly chuckled to herself while Subaki began to giggle. "And get this. She slowly turned her head to look at me with these drooping eyes, while baby me is sobbing in her arms, and my mother said, 'I wish I was, Selena. I wish I was.'."
"Oh goodness, that sounds positively delightful!" Subaki laid on his back as he laughed. Selena couldn't help but laugh as well. "Speaking of children, I was thinking Caeldori is ready to join us in our world."
"But I gave birth to her last week!" Selena interjected as Subaki stood up.
"Yes, but to her, it's been nineteen years." He gave her a tender smile; the same smile that Selena had grown accustomed to seeing whenever he wanted something.
A vast expanse of trees stretched out in every direction, and atop one of them sat a woman named Caeldori. The glare from the setting sun made her squint her eyes while she scanned the entrance to her deep realm.
A bright flash of blue caught her attention, and three figures emerged. Surely, they were her mother, father, and Kamui. She grabbed her telescope from her satchel and focused her vision on Kamui.
"Gods, he looks beautiful." She thought as his gray hair contrasted the setting sun quite nicely. Finally, she was around the same age as him, thanks to dimensional shenanigans. No longer would she be forced to read Falling for Her in a Fortnight. Now she could be enfolded in his arms. Her obsession with Kamui didn't detract from her training, though, as she had to prove herself to her father somehow.
Unfortunately, her father had spotted her sitting on the tree and began calling out to her.
"Caeldori! Please come over here at once!" He yelled and his arms outstretched as he waved.
"I don't think she can hear you." Selena chided him. Kamui watched as a man stepped out of the rustic cottage and walked towards the group.
"Ah, masters Subaki and Selena. So good to see you again." Rochm looked noticeably older now; his life-saving jawline was less defined. "A fond greeting to you, Sir Kamui, as well. I suggest we all wait at the lodge for Caeldori." Subaki and Selena both walked towards the abode, which overlooked a rapid.
Kamui almost joined them but Rochm inserted his hand in front of him.
"Uh, Rochm, I need to go with them." Kamui protested as Rochm blocked him from passing.
"You shall rejoin them shortly, I just need to inform you of something." Rochm drew close to Kamui and began to whisper in his ear. "Ever since you visited thirteen years ago, Caeldori has grown rather... attached to you. Normally I'm not one to speculate, but I'd keep a sharp eye on her if I were you."
"O-Oh," Kamui stuttered before he began to blush. "You think she likes me?"
"As I have said, this is all speculation. But, she was staring at you from the trees." Rochm pulled his hand back and walked beside Kamui.
Kamui watched as the silhouette of Caeldori disappeared from the treetops, and emerged soon after in a sprint towards to her house.
Shortly after, Kamui entered the cabin and gazed around at its interior. Paintings lined the walls, and a lit fireplace crackled to life. His gaze settled on a woman with long, red hair that was extremely close to him.
"Oh, hi Kamui." Caeldori smiled as Kamui jumped upright in shock. A tingling sensation inside her grew with every second that she spent staring at his face. "Did I startle you?"
"No, no. Just thought I saw a spider on that wall." Kamui pointed to a wooden wall adorned with decorations behind her. Caeldori turned her head to confirm if there was an arachnid or not, and her distraction gave Kamui to find a seat. All of the cushiony chairs were taken, so he seated himself on Subaki's lap.
"Excuse me?" Subaki threw him a questionable look as Kamui laughed awkwardly.
"There were no more seats left, so I thought your thighs would suffice." Kamui glanced at Caeldori, who began laughing after turning her head to face them.
"Kamui, is there a reason you're being so awkward?" Selena gritted her teeth while tapping her foot on the hardwood floor. Her hand was outstretched and pointed to an empty chair that Kamui didn't notice.
"Oh, whoops. Must've missed that." Kamui sighed as he stood up and dumped himself on the empty chair.
Unbeknownst to him, Caeldori had slipped into the chair at the last second.
"Ow," Caeldori exclaimed as she felt the full force of an armored man fall on her. Secretly, however, she enjoyed it.
"Dear gods, I'm so sorry!" Kamui sprung up and waved his arms frantically. Subaki leaned back in his chair and sighed while Selena was massaging her forehead.
"This is why we can't have nice things," Selena stated as the front door creaked open.
"Did I miss anything important?" Rochm asked as his eyes darted around the room. Only now did he notice that Subaki and Selena were wearing matching red kimonos.
"Oh, everything's fine sir," Caeldori stated as Kamui seated himself on the carpeted floor.
"So, dear, how are your studies doing?" Subaki questioned while leaning forward in his seat. Selena leaned closer as well.
"As per your instructions father, I've studied the art of war, karate, Hoshidan history, and all the other training exercises you laid out." Caeldori beamed with delight.
"Wonderful dear, simply wonderful. I couldn't be more proud of you as a father." Subaki stood up and hugged her. "Now, I have a proposition for you. Would you like to join Kamui's army?"
Caeldori's eyes lit up like fireworks the instant Subaki closed his mouth.
"Yes! Absolutely! Definitely! Affirmative! Gladly! Beyond a doubt!" Her voice rose in excitement after every word she spoke. She paused, then stated one final word. "Indubitably!" She squealed.
Soon after, Caeldori had said her goodbyes to Rochm, who stayed behind in the deep realm.
A flash of blue enveloped her, and suddenly the setting sun was replaced by an afternoon sky.
"Welcome to Hoshido, home of everlasting peace and prosperity." Subaki turned and bowed while the forest behind him swayed in the breeze. He walked ahead with Kamui, seeing as both of them eager to give Caeldori the tour of the castle. Before Caeldori could follow, her mother tapped her lightly on the shoulder.
"Caeldori, sweetie, could I talk to you for a second?" She asked before Caeldori turned to face her mother. Her red ponytails were flapping in the wind.
"Sure, mother. What do you need?" Caeldori adjusted her metallic headband over her long red hair.
"It's funny, but growing up you looked just like your father, and now you look like… her." Selena paused before looking at the nearby forest.
"Who do I look like?" Caeldori pressed her.
"Your grandmother." Selena's breath was long and drawn-out while a look of remorse formed in her eyes. "Let's just say that your entire personality and looks are exactly like hers."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Caeldori inquired.
"A very good thing. She was a natural born perfectionist, much like your father. Also had a thing for handsome men, and looks like your attention has already focused on Kamui."
"How did you know?!" Caeldori stepped backward and threw her mother a shocked look.
"You stared at him from a tree." Selena began walking after Subaki. "When we get dinner, I'll explain more about my parents."
Later that afternoon, Camilla clutched her food tray desperately while her violet eye that wasn't covered by her hair scanned for a potential mate in the mess hall. The entire army was in here, and she still couldn't find somebody to wed.
"Maybe I'm too picky." She thought while she sat down next to that handsome green-haired ninja she had seen around the castle. "Why, hello there handsome."
Peri poked her head out from behind him. She coughed into her shoulder and glared at Camilla as her arm slung around Kaze's shoulder, who was silent.
"Gods dammit," Camilla muttered as she stood up and resumed scanning for another bachelor.
Unfortunately for her, she didn't notice the Hoshidan king wearing bright red armor against the green wall of the mess room.
"It seems luck is not on your side today," Leo whispered in Ryoma's ear after finishing his noodles.
"This must be some sort of prank or something. How has she not noticed me yet?" Ryoma let out a sigh as he put his chopsticks down.
"I'll be damned if I understand whatever goes on in my sister's head. You could try dressing in a lobster costume to get her attention."
"No, that's too subtle." Ryoma gazed towards Sakura, who walked towards the two.
"O-Oh hello, Leo. I was wondering if you wanted to eat together." Sakura's cheeks flushed the color of her hair while she spoke.
"It would be my pleasure." Leo's voice was as smooth as silk as he stood up. His arm draped itself over Sakura's shoulders as they walked to a far-away table.
"Oh, come on!" Ryoma muttered as he slumped against the wall. His arms were folded and his expression was one of someone incredibly miffed.
A pair of figures sat next to him. Upon closer inspection, it was Kamui and some young woman with long red hair.
"Hi Ryoma, I'd like to introduce you to our newest recruit: Caeldori. She's the daughter of Subaki and Selena." Kamui leaned backward so that Ryoma could look at Caeldori.
"It's an honor to meet you, King Ryoma." Caeldori bowed in her seat as Ryoma chuckled.
"Please, drop the formalities and call me Ryoma." Ryoma held his open palm out. "I never knew Subaki had such a beautiful daughter."
"Oh, you." Caledori laughed as she eagerly shook Ryoma's hand.
"So I was pondering, and I think we should have two children," Xander suggested to his wife, Hinoka, who sat at his side while slurping noodles out of a bowl.
"No, I think one's just fine," Hinoka responded to the blond prince.
A finger tapped on her shoulder, and she turned her head to view Camilla, who looked quite desperate as her eye shifted around. "Why, hello sister-in-law, what can I do for you?"
"Don't call me your sister. It sickens me. I need your help in finding a husband." Camilla pleaded as her grip tightened on her tray.
"Why should I help someone who's done nothing but antagonize me?" Hinoka's voice was gruff and insincere, which did not help Camilla's stress-ridden thought process.
"Okay, okay, you're right. I'm sorry…" Camilla began to formulate a plan, which began with choking Hinoka.
She placed her tray on the table and checked her route to the center. She was incredibly eager to teach this princess a lesson in respecting the superior race. "I'm sorry you're such a piece of Hoshidan filth!"
Camilla wrapped her hands around Hinoka's neck as a look of shock grew on Xander's face. She dragged the red-haired princess to the center of the mess hall while a pall of silence fell on all the patrons. "You and me. Right here, right now." Camilla's tone was empty and expressionless as she threw Hinoka to the carpeted floor.
"Cat fight!" Niles yelled before Beruka planted her fist to his face, which knocked him backward onto the floor.
"Don't ever talk about Camilla like that," Beruka stated before running to Selena's side, whose brow was furrowed in anger. "What are we going to do?" She asked as Hinoka stood up. A look of pure frustration was burning in her pupils.
"Absolutely nothing, Beruka. Lady Camilla was dumb enough to get herself into this mess, so we're not bailing her out." Selena sat back down at her table as her arm wrapped around Subaki's shoulder.
"Shouldn't we try to help and disperse the fight?" Subaki questioned.
"Nope. If I were you, I would bet on who's going to win." Selena answered as she watched Hinoka get into a fighting stance. Her legs were bent at the knees and her arms were positioned at her front.
"Let's settle this," Hinoka muttered before swinging her fist into Camilla's face. She was thrown backward in shock, and spit flew out of her jaw as she collided with the floor.
The crowd cheered; even those from Nohr were eager to see their princess get some sense knocked into her.
"Oh, that does it," Camilla grunted while standing up and wiping the blood off her lower lip. She attempted to land a blow on Hinoka but was blocked, seeing as she was attempting to fight someone who had spent many years of their youth studying karate.
"Oh no! Hinoka's using her Thunder Boot Counter!" Setsuna stood up while biting her fingernails in anticipation. "That will break every bone in Camilla's body!" She watched as Camilla swung another blow towards Hinoka's head.
"Rumble Punt Foil!" Hinoka yelled while she gripped Camilla by the hands. In one swift motion, she released Camilla from her vice-like grip and connected her foot with Camilla's head.
"Eh, you were close enough." Azama shrugged his shoulders. The crowd let out another cheer as Camilla was launched into the table Selena sat at. She groggily looked up at her retainers and regretted her decision to make this a fair fight.
"Had enough?" Hinoka asked arrogantly as Xander gazed on in horror.
Camilla grunted in response while the sound of her heart beating in her ears grew louder and louder as she leaned against the table.
"Nohrian Fist Flurry!" She weakly stood up, charged headfirst, and waved her arms frantically at Hinoka before stumbling and collapsing at her feet.
From directly outside the mess hall, Leo was busy embracing Sakura against the wall of the building as his hand gripped her own. He gently held her small fingers between his hand before pressing his lips against hers.
"We should take this… back to my room." Leo suggested.
"I would love that." Sakura's eyes reflected the moonlight as Leo held the side of her head.
Ryoma burst through the door with a worried look on his face.
"Leo, Camilla is getting beaten by Hinoka and won't stay down! I need your help!" The king's voice was frantic and worried. Leo sighed as he released Sakura's hands from his grip.
"Once again, my idiotic family requires my aid. I'll be back shortly, sweetie." He smiled to the Hoshidan princess before entering the mess hall with Ryoma. He pulled out his tome, Brynhildr, from his coat pocket.
His eyes settled on his purple-haired sister, who was on the receiving end of a monstrous beating as Hinoka delivered a flurry of punches to her stomach.
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Hinoka yelled. Leo detected a hint of joy in her voice while she attacked Camilla. Her fists became a blur of pain as the crowd cheered. Hinoka ended this string of punches with a singular strike that threw Camilla against the wall of the building; a crack formed on the wall after Camilla fell to the floor.
A searing pain coursed through Camilla's entire body. Her legs refused to follow her commands to stand up and keep fighting. "Good grief, just stay down." Hinoka walked over to the fallen princess and saw that her purple hair covered with dirt and soot.
The crowd gave one final cheer, then resumed eating as if nothing had occurred.
"Agh." Camilla curled into a fetal position as Leo stood over her.
"Let me guess…" Leo pressed his hand to his head and spoke in a teasing voice. "You want to go to the infirmary and get healed?" He asked before glancing at Ryoma.
"Yes please," Camilla answered while coughing blood onto the floor.
"Ryoma, please be a gentleman and take her to the infirmary." Leo stood to the side and helped Ryoma lift Camilla off the ground. "Looks like luck is on your side after all." He whispered to Ryoma.
"Thank you," Ryoma whispered back while his hands trembled as he held Camilla like a bride. He felt her bare skin through her black dress while a cold sweat began to form on his forehead as he left the building.
"So... do things like this happen all the time?" Caeldori asked Kamui, who had a displeased look on his face.
"Not at all. In fact, I hope that's the last time a fight breaks out. Now, what say we get you a room in the castle?" Kamui stood up from the table and lead Caeldori out the door.
Hisame had watched the fight happen, and was still surprised at how effortlessly that purple-haired woman was dispatched. He didn't spend much thought on it, though. His real attention was trained on that beautiful red-haired lady sitting next to Kamui.
Considering that Hinoka Vs. Camilla scene read like something right out of an anime battle...
[STAND NAME] SISTERLY PRINCESS OF NOHR, ELISE
[STAND MASTER] HINOKA
POWER: B
SPEED: D
RANGE: C
DURABILITY: E
PRECISION: E
POTENTIAL: A
"Kamui… I'll give you the face-petting session Kamui promised me!"
"Yarne Yarne Kaze… You really are the worst waifu in history…
The debt you owe... Can't be paid with bonding!"
"ONIIONIIONIIONIIONIIONIIIIIII CHAAAAAN!"
Well, that was the dumbest thing I've ever wri- VERY NICEU CAESAR-CHAN.