Chapter 5- The Tragedy of a Psychotic Dr. Eggman

Poor wittle Eggbaby couldn't handle wosing anymore so… he tried getting RIPPED!

"With my weight set, I'll gain muscle mass faster than Sonic can run across the globe. We'll see those rotten freaks beat me now!"

"Boss I don't think that's possib-"

"WOOOO! You can do it boss!"

"Now, then," Eggman continued," On to the lifting!" Pressing a button, Eggman summoned the lightest dumbbell he could find: a light 3 pounder. Eggman prepared for this daunting feat by performing various calisthenics. "I… am a man… a man that can lift this object effortlessly. Watch and learn."

An hour later, try as he might, the wittle baby doctor barely lifted it an inch of the ground.

"Come on, FEEL THE BURN BOSS!" Cubot screamed in encouragement. Said boss was underneath the dumbbell now, unable to get off of the ground.

"If he can't even lift 3 pounds," Orbot lamented, "How is he supposed to beat Sonic's friends…?"

"Eggman's lair, dead ahead!" Tails cried as he lowered his plane towards the lone island fortress. "Amy, hop out!"

With a grand leap, Amy exited the plane, soon followed by her fluffy, yellow friend.

"So how are we going to go about this? Face rearrangement? Tickle torture? A single, very hard punch in the shoulder?"

"Nope. I don't think we'll even need to go in there…" The two looked up and heard Eggman trying his best to lift a 10 pound weight. It didn't sound pretty.

"What's he doing up there…?" Amy asked.

"I think he's showing physical exertion."

"So… exercising… Eggman is exercising. Okay, where's the flying pigs?" Amy replied with an exasperated tone.

"We should probably stop him before he hurts himself…"

"GUAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"... anymore than he already has." Tails suggested.

The two of them were surprised to find the front door was wide open, almost as if Eggman expected them to come. Inside they found an unkempt opening hall, a hall usually clean and strewn with picture after picture of the mad doctor himself. Orbot and Cubot, upon the Doctor's request, were hard at work making the building presentable

"Faster, they could be here any minute!" Orbot instructed Cubot.

"Hey, guys." Tails said to the two robots.

"Well that was a waste of an afternoon." Cubot said as he put his paintbrush down and hovered into the next room to go relax with a nice cup of oil tea.

"Thank goodness. Please go and talk some sense into the boss. He's starting to scare us. Here, Motobug, can you lead them up there?"

The Motobug nodded and led Amy and Tails to Eggman's newly installed gym. The equipment hadn't been there half a day and it already showed signs of it being ruined. The room wasn't properly ventilated so Eggman's 'unique' stench filled the area with a thick musk; it was old man and egg salad scented. There Eggman stood in the middle of the room, utterly exhausted, but with new, very toned and sort of sexy muscles. Course they belonged to a scientist hitting his mid 30's so…

"WHOA!" Tails exclaimed in surprise. "How the heck did you get those so fast?!"

"Shocking, I'm sure! I simply FORCED my muscles to grow using the sheer power of my vastly superior mi-"

It was then that Amy discovered a small red box in the corner of the gym room. "'Ultra Mighty Inflatable Arms, for when you want to look incredibly powerful without a minute in the gym…' Really?"

"Give me that!" Quickly snatching the box away made the fake arms give out and pop, revealing Eggman's originally scrawny arms. "Why do I even TRY to be creative? These blow-ups were supposed to intimidate and frighten you away, but now look what you've done!"

"Yeah, we're REALLY afraid of poorly made rubber arms." Amy snarked.

"Rubber arms… have I seen that somewhere before?" Tails pondered

"SHUT UP!" Eggman pressed a button on a nearby console and out came Obliterator Bot and Burn Bot from the ruins of the village. "If you guys are SOOOOO SMART, you should be able to find out a way to make sure what's left of the village isn't smashed and burned to dust! But you can't!" He pressed another button and the two heroes' communicators became jammed. "Because now you can't warn your pals. SO I WIN! HA HA!" Eggman got into his pink onesie and started an elaborate victory dance. He didn't care who saw for he was too ecstatic.

"Why am I even bothering with this idiot…?"

"Hey, Shadsy! SHADSY, SHADSY, SHADSY!"

"...What… is it?"

"I CAN TOUCH MY SHOES WITH MY TONGUE WITHOUT BENDING OVER WANNA SEE?!"

"...ugh…"

The good news for Shadow was that Sonic was completely bonkers anymore upon regaining consciousness. The bad news was that he now temporarily had the mind of a five-year-old from the anesthetic not quite being out of his system. And he was left to babysit the moron.

"When this is over, I never want to see you again, understand?"

"Okay Shadsy!"

"Stop… calling me… 'Shadsy…'. It's SHADOW…"

"But Shadsy is a cuter name…" Sonic almost whined as he pouted from being scolded. Shadow always hated Sonic, but at least he was mature enough to tolerate for short periods of time.

"I DON'T GIVE A-" Just then, Burn Bot drew flames in between the two hedgehogs, separating them and nearly making Sonic cry from fear. The younger hedgehog made a girlish scream and hid behind the ruins of the library.

"SCARY CLOWN MONSTER ROBOT!"

"So, Eggman's sent something to finish the job… I'm debating stopping you or not, robot."

And so Burn Bot dawned his judge wig to try and confuse Shadow into submission. He figured if he could get into the court system before and fool everyone but Amy before, it'll definitely work now.

Unfortunately, Shadow isn't stupid. Far from it.

A quick Chaos Control onto its back made that much clear.

The black hedgehog was VERY close to snapping into a rage. All he wanted was a dental check up, for crying out loud. And now robots were here to enrage him further. But as fate would have it, as Shadow readied himself to rip the bot's head off its shoulders, Obliterator Bot gave him a quick punch to the head, giving him the 'rest' he wanted this entire day.

Poor little Sonic was left alone as the robots approached him, his vulnerable self filling with adrenaline. He had to run or be attacked by these two evil borgs. As he got more and more worked up, something miraculous happened. The blue hedgehog could feel his mind become more clear, his normal processes returning to him. Eventually, while confused and with amnesia of the events before, he was returned to normal, albeit with a massive pain in his temples and fixed teeth. The adrenaline had overpowered and neutralized the anesthesia, bringing our egocentric friend back.

"...is the operation over…?" Sonic said wearily, rubbing his head to clear the pain. He looked around to take in his surroundings and saw the destroyed village. "What happened here?!"

"Objective: Destroy Village Remains."

"If you destroy anything else, how are we supposed to have a main location to fight in?! You can't build something from ash," Sonic said to Obliterator Bot.

"... … … Tiny hedgehog has a point. Objective terminated."

"WHAT?!" Eggman screamed into the communicator. "WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!... rgh, GET HIM BURN BOT!"

Burn Bot came up to Sonic with great speed, prepared to rip thim a new one. But being Sonic, the hedgehog was ready for him.

As the android lowered its flamethrowers, Sonic hopped on and began Homing Attacking the thing apart. Try as it might, Burn Bot couldn't get the hedgehog away from its person. Its gears and circuits quit, downing the automaton like a mighty oak.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo…"

After his plans failed him again, even with such careful and extensive preparation, the doctor's mind couldn't handle anymore.

And down he fell as he fainted, sending his mind into a blank oblivion.

And when he awoke… nothing but light...