Well Trinity, you have gotten yourself in an extremely awkward silence. Where is the wine when you need it?
For some bizarre reason, Alistair had wished for both him and her to have a private conversation away from prying ears. Maker knows why the King of Ferelden would need to speak to her in the first place; maybe since they were too busy trying not to die against templars and mages when they first met and their letters didn't really provide the need to have a casual conversation.
"Alistair if you wanted to sleep with me, you should have asked sooner," Hawke jested as she leant against the frame of the balcony, a cheeky grin on her face. Alistair just cleared his throat, trying to contain his blushed cheeks.
"That is not what I need to talk to you about, but first things first; we never really got to talk after…What happened. Are you alright?" Alistair asked quietly, trying not to press the subject but he had been the first person to actually ask how she was fairing.
Hawke turned her back to the King and simply gazed up at the sky; it still had a red tinge from the Revolutionist's magic bomb, and it would take months for it to go. Unknowingly, tears began to flow down her cheeks, and she didn't bother to hide them from anyone anymore, even the King of her home country.
"I made a terrible mistake siding with the templars," she muttered, but loud enough for Alistair to hear.
She heard his booted footsteps come closer towards her as he put his hands on the stone frame. Her eyes briefly met his for mere moments, but she could see that his eyes held nothing but sympathy and compassion. Alistair ran one of his hands through his hair before rubbing his chin, where stubble had started to grow. He remained quiet, as if waiting for her to continue.
"If I had sided with the mages, I would have lost a few friends that day," Hawke started to say before pausing briefly, "Including Fenris. He hates mages for what they did to him in Tevinter; I seem to be the only mage he truly trusts, but it wasn't easy gaining it I assure you."
"Quite the polar opposites then?" Alistair just chuckled, looking sentimental, "As you could probably tell, Katherine and I aren't exactly the same either. Especially when we first met…I must have appeared to be a complete fool."
Hawke just smiled sadly, thinking for a moment before turning to Alistair, "Has there been anyone else in your life? Besides Katherine."
Alistair blushed instantly before shaking his head, laughing nervously, "Life in the chantry never provided time for such…Antics."
"I understand…" Hawke nodded before retreating into her thoughts once again. She was having a conversation about each other's relationships as if they had known each other for a century. Hawke knew that Alistair could be trusted, and knowing no one else was listening, she just started to vent:
"When I first came to Kirkwall, I never expected to meet any of the people I now count as my friends. I planned to get as much money as I could and move back to Ferelden when the Blight had completely vanished. But when I met Varric, everything started to change. I saw myself staying here for the right reasons; and that soon became all my friends."
"But two men in particular; Anders and Fenris. I have loved them both in equal measures since I first met them and have been in constant turmoil ever since, my heart would just feel like shattering when I came to the realisation that I had to choose one. They both hated each other and I knew once I had chosen one of them, the other would condemn me."
One of Alistair's eyebrows quirked upwards in curiosity, "You loved Anders?"
"Anders…was a great man. I respected him; he would make me laugh when I most wanted to cry, taught me all the healing magic I could ever know. He taught me how to live and not take life for granted, and I will be forever grateful for that."
"What about Fenris?"
Hawke closed her eyes, floods of pictures she had taken in her mind of precious moments and treasured memories she shared with Fenris, and she allowed those to help her pour her heart out.
"At first; it was just a physical attraction. I knew he hated me because of my magic, and I was determined to get to know him better and to show him that not all mages are like those in the Imperium. Slowly, with a few bumps and scrapes along the way, he opened up to me completely. It was then I realised I had been truly in love with that broody bastard since I first laid eyes on him."
"We had our…Troubles a few years back. We were caught too much in the heat of the moment that I didn't realise he wasn't ready for a relationship, and that almost destroyed me. I turned to drink, not wanting to do anything and life just felt so…Empty. Of course we made up a few months after when he finally showed up for a reading lesson."
"Ever since then, it has been a long, rocky road. But we finally made it in the end. I love Fenris, and I damned well hope he loves me just the same."
Alistair just stood there, completely dumbfounded as he blinked rapidly, the information slowly being absorbed into his brain. The pair simply stood in silence, Hawke with her eyes closed with a smile on her face whilst Alistair seemed to be struggling with the words to say.
"If you have something to say, just say it."
"I need you back in Ferelden," Alistair said bluntly, damning himself the moment he said it.
Hawke cocked her head to one side, "I…Had no plans on returning to Ferelden so soon. Why?"
"One of our closest friends is a seeker, and she sent word to me not long before I made the journey here that the Divine are after you, Hawke. They are sending seekers to investigate immediately, and they will not be pleased when they find out you had a part in what happened here in Kirkwall; this is just the start of a war between templars and mages if it is not contained," Alistair explained, now standing in front of the mage, "You will be safer back in Ferelden, I promise you."
Hawke threw her arms in frustration, "Shit! Then they must know about…"
"About what?"
"It doesn't matter; may I speak to each of my companions before I tell you my decision? This is a lot to take in."
"Of course; we are leaving tomorrow evening. Your brother and his wife have already agreed with Katherine to come back with us, and they would then make their way to Vigil's Keep," Alistair added before leaving Hawke to her thoughts.
Fenris paced back and forth outside the bedroom door; everyone had passed out after having too much to drink. Winter and Blaize had gone back to the guard barracks with Aveline to use some of their magic to help clear up the Viscount's Keep, and Katherine and Alistair had gone back to their ship. Hawke had still not left her room, and only opened her door momentarily to let Bruiser in.
"I'm sure mistress is fine," Orana tried to comfort the enraged elf, whose markings had become flared ever since storming up the stairs to try and hammer down the door.
"She hasn't bothered to speak to me since that little talk with that blasted King!" Fenris snapped.
He had heard everything Hawke had said. Fenris almost punched a hole in the wall when Hawke said she had been in love with both Anders and himself. How could she lie to him? Had she thought of Anders when they made love? Fenris was a ticking time-bomb and if he didn't speak to Hawke soon and demand answers, he would go on a spree of mass destruction, killing anything that got in his way.
"M-maybe she's sleeping; o-o-or could have gone out somewhere," stuttered Orana.
"Shouldn't you be cleaning or something?" Fenris growled, glaring at Orana. He instantly regretted his words as the young elf ran off, tears pouring down her cheeks.
Sighing, Fenris stopped pacing and rested his arm against the door, his forehead pressed against the wood, "Hawke…Will you please let me in?" He tried to hide the anger in his voice, but it was obvious to anyone.
Suddenly, Fenris heard the lock slowly Fenris took this opportunity to burst through the door to see Hawke perched in the centre of their bed. Her eyes were swollen red with having spent hours crying and she was only wearing one of his shirts, her hair a complete mess. Strewn around her and the rest of the room were pieces of parchment with what appeared to be pictures on them. She seemed to be staring at one of the pictures in her hand, not even noticing Fenris there.
"Why haven't you been talking to me?" Fenris snapped, his eyes darting around the room. Hawke simply blanked him as she continued to stare at the piece of parchment, "Don't ignore me Hawke!"
Fenris knew his approach wasn't working; usually she would just shout back at him, and they would have rough make-up sex. But this was something far deeper than he imagined; sighing, Fenris tip-toed through the piles of parchment before sitting beside her on the bed.
"Trinity…" he whispered, taking off his spiked gauntlets before cupping her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes, "Please tell me what's wrong, I'm…Worried about you."
"The seekers have finally found me, they're on their way to hunt me down and they will kill everyone in their path to get to me. I can't let them hurt you, or Winter, or anyone," Hawke sobbed, nuzzling one of her cheeks into his hand.
Fenris simply kissed her forehead before stripping off his armour rapidly, once he had done so, he carefully pulled her body close to his, letting her hide her face into his neck, "They will never get a single hair on your head, I assure you."
"Alistair has offered that I go back with him and Katherine to Ferelden."
"Did you accept?"
Hawke silently shook her head, "I told him I needed to speak to my friends before making any choices. I have until tomorrow evening."
Fenris frowned, "That doesn't leave you enough time."
"Exactly, so I've began to try and sort out my…drawings."
"Drawings…?" Fenris' eyes almost popped out of his skull as he realised that these extremely lifelike drawings were drawn by his beloved. He gently pried out the one she still had in her hand, and his heart instantly melted.
It was a drawing of both himself and Winter asleep in Winter's bed with the book of Shartan in his hand that Hawke had given to him a couple of years before. He remembers it was one of the first nights they both stayed in Hawke's mansion for the night, and Winter couldn't sleep so Fenris read her a story. Fenris had no idea that Hawke had this hidden talent within her, what else could she be hiding?
He noticed a couple of pictures of a young woman and a bearded man that he had never seen before and picked those up. The young woman looked exactly like Carver, but as a female, and her eyes sparkled with pure innocence that he had never seen in someone before. The man, on the other hand, had a smile very similar to Hawke and his eyes twinkled with a hidden mischief.
"That is my sister Bethany and my father before they were both taken by the Blight…" Hawke whispered softly, gathering up a few of the other drawings and handing them to Fenris, "And these are all the portraits I drew after meeting everyone, one by one, for the first time."
Fenris began to scan each of the drawings; taking in everything Hawke was saying about each of them, both chuckling as the couple recalled memories and first-opinions about each of their friends. Soon, the doubts of Hawke not loving him faded away as he locked this moment into his memory bank for years to come. As they looked at each drawing, Hawke gently placed them back into the box that she kept under the bed, and before long they had reached the last picture.
This time, it wasn't a portrait or a group drawing of everyone. But it was a simply drawing of a landscape that Fenris recognised instantly, but couldn't remember where he had seen it before.
"This was when we went to the Wounded Coast for the first time, for a slaver-hunting spree; you were still brooding over me being a mage and when you left with Varric and Isabella to play Wicked Grace at the Hanged Man, I stayed behind to think about what I would break down your walls."
Fenris simply smiled before kissing her forehead before gently caressing her cheek, "You're a beautiful woman, Trinity Hawke."
Hawke's cheeks flushed at least twenty shades of crimson as she leant into his touch; Fenris always had his way of making the cocky mage blush.
"I want you to come to Ferelden with me, and Winter too."
Fenris just smiled softly, gazing down at his beloved through heavy eyelids, "I had no intention of leaving your side."
Hawke flung her arms around her elven lover, holding his body close to hers as she crashed her lips against his as passionately as she could, desperate to feel his bare skin against hers. Fenris groaned with pleasure at her advances and the couple spend the rest of the night finishing what they had started this morning.