Bella POV
"WE'RE WHAT, EDWARD!" I screeched again.
"Pirates of course," Edward answered as if it was the most obvious thing.
"What makes you think you're a pirate?" I asked, trying to calm down.
"Well," Edward started, "I sparkle because I'm full of gold."
"What? How did you? What? That doesn't even…" I stuttered, unable to comprehend his thought process.
"Yes!" he shouted, looking proudly off to the right. I turned and saw that he was staring at blank air, but I let it go as he continued, "And my name is Bronze-beard."
"Bronze-beard the pirate?" My eyebrows were knitted together like two pair of socks stuck in the dryer, and my mouth hung open as if a fish hook was dug in my bottom lip. As you can tell, I was very perplexed.
"Yes. Arg," he growled the last part, swinging his arm in front of him in a cliché way.
"But you don't have a beard," I protested, trying to get him to realize that he was being totally and completely crazy.
"That is irrelevant," he protested, waving me away rudely.
I glared at him, "Okay, I was about to accept all this dumb pirate crap, but then you put your hand in my face? I WILL SEE YOU LATER WHEN YOU DECIDE TO BE SANE AGAIN!"
Edward just stared after me as I stomped away, not even trying to catch up with me. What a jerk.