I am finally back! I am so sorry for the long delay in chapters; I just haven't had the spark that drives me to write for a while, and I've finally found my muuuuuse!

So yeah. I hope this was worth the wait! :D

Their room was far more opulent to what they were used to. The fancy royal blue sheets with gold embroidery on the four-poster bed, lined with heavy velvet curtains to match, was far grander than Fenris was used to, even in Hawke's mansion. The room just made him feel like it was meant for a prison, with its stone floor, walls and ceiling. But this was a castle after all, and King Alistair had tried to make it as comfortable as possible for himself and Hawke.

Fenris had tried to keep himself busy by reorganising the furniture to try and make it more comfortable for Hawke by placing all of her books on the desk and a few of their belongings all around the room. He had left Winter to organise her own belongings, knowing she was still angry at him for what he had said on the ship regarding her and Blaize's relationship.

But what was really clawing at the back of Fenris' mind as he prepared the fireplace was the conversation that Hawke and Alistair had back at Hawke's Estate.

I have loved them both in equal measure since I first met them.

How could she love two people at the same time? Especially if the other person was that abomination. Fenris knew that he and Hawke were not an item when she met Anders, so he couldn't really take ownership of Hawke. Nor could he ever; Hawke was a free woman, able to make whatever choices she wanted. But being in love with Anders?

As soon as Fenris lit the fire, he heard the door gently close and turned to see who it was. Hawke simply stood there, dumbfounded. She held a burgundy leather-bound book in her crossed arms as she observed the room.

"I thought I told Alistair not to go so over-the-top with decorating," her voice was quiet and a little raspy, as if she had been crying for the past few hours she had been gone.

Fenris frowned, "Too opulent for your tastes?"

"You should know me well enough by now, Fenris," Hawke tilted her head to one side, narrowing her eyes at Fenris, who was now staring out of the window. Hawke could tell by the way he was standing and how his gauntlets dug into the window sill that he was angry.

Hawke carefully approached Fenris from behind and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, causing the elf to flinch. She instantly withdraw her hand; Fenris hadn't flinched at her touch for years. He usually welcomed it, but that single flinch made Hawke feel that everything she had fought for, everything she had killed for, was wasted.

"Did you love him?" Fenris finally spoke, his voice cold and devoid of emotion.

Hawke perched on the bed, clutching the book tighter to her chest, "Who, in particular, are you referring to?"

"You know who I am referring to, Trinity," he snapped, turning to face Hawke

"If I did, I wouldn't have asked," Hawke argued back, placing the book on the bed and glared at Fenris, "what the fuck is your problem, anyway?"

Fenris marched up to Hawke, his markings flaring violently as he forced Hawke to look into his eyes.

"Did you love Anders?"

He watched as Hawke's eyes widened at him before she slumped back onto the bed, completely void of all emotion. Fenris knew she was trying to think of the best response to say without hurting him, but the look of sheer heartbreak in her eyes almost broke him.

Fenris waited patiently, a tense silence between them apart from the crackling of the fire.

"Yes...I did. But that was before I met you," Hawke didn't meet Fenris' eyes, her eyes hidden behind her hair as she stared at her hands, "yes, he quickly became one of my best friends and yes, the physical attraction was there. But I knew he wanted something more than what I had in mind at the time."

"And what did you want at the time?"

"A distraction."

The elf closed his eyes and turned his back to her, one of the ways Hawke knew that he was thinking deeply about his reply. So she patiently waited for his response, hiding her eyes behind her hair as she opened the book she held and tried to distract herself.

Fenris tried to remember what Hawke had said to him in those conversations she had with him to 'try to get to know him better'. At the time when they met, Hawke had already been in Kirkwall for about a year, and she was trying to get money for the Expedition to the Deep Roads with Varric. Hawke had also lost her sister Bethany on their journey to Kirkwall after she was slaughtered by an ogre, and their mother continued to blame Hawke for her death. She also lived in that shit-hole her uncle called a home.

All the pieces in the jigsaw Fenris was trying to complete came together; Bethany's death, Hawke being constantly blamed for it, her family barely having coin for food since Gamlen gambled it away and her fear of being caught by the templars. Fenris opened his eyes and turned back to Hawke, gently prying the book out of her hands before holding them in his own.

"You wanted to feel like a normal human being," Fenris spoke softly, getting on his knees and cupping Hawke's cheek in one of his hands. He could already feel the tears falling from her cheeks.

Fenris carefully tucked Hawke's hair behind her ear so he could look into her eyes, showing her how he understood her with just a simple look in his eyes. Hawke smiled sadly as she gazed back into his eyes.

"It probably sounds pathetic. I just...I just wanted to feel normal for just one night and then cut the strings tying me to him. But I knew it wouldn't be that easy to let go; for Anders anyway."

"And I'm just a prolonged distraction?" Fenris teased, receiving a small smile and a giggle from Hawke.

"Of course not; you know how I feel about you."

Fenris wrapped an arm around the small of Hawke's back and pulled her into his lap, a playful smirk on his face and a mischievous glimmer in his eyes, "Then prove it."

Her eyes widened as she realised what Fenris was up to, "But that's my line!" Hawke giggled before Fenris' lips met Hawke's in a passionate kiss; his hands already untying the back of Hawke's corset as his lips ghosted down Hawke's neck before biting down hard at the pulse between her neck and shoulder, growling slightly as he marked her as his.

Hawke gasped in pleasure as she tangled her fingers in the hair at the back of Fenris' neck, feeling all her problems melt away in an instant when Fenris' lips met hers again in a tender kiss, his arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace as he stood up, his lips still locked on hers as he carried Hawke to the furs in front of the fireplace, gently laying her down as he stayed above her, staring deeply into her eyes.

"Fenris...I-" but before Hawke could continue to speak, Fenris silenced her with a passionate kiss as he began work removing his armour in-between deep kisses until he was just in his trousers. Still on his knees, Fenris made quick work removing Hawke's boots and almost ripping off her trousers. He placed a tender kiss on the side of Hawke's right ankle, kissing his way up her leg and her inner thigh, cherishing every sweet moan and gasp that left his lover's lips.

Smirking, Fenris placed his tongue flat against Hawke's clothed sex and licked upwards, causing Hawke to shiver with pleasure as she breathlessly moaned his name, her fingers tangling into his hair as he continued his tender kisses up her body, pushing her blouse upwards to reveal her stomach and breasts. Licking his lips, Fenris instantly latched himself onto one of Hawke's nipples, sucking lightly as he swirled his tongue.

Hawke suddenly rolled them over so that she was on top, straddling his waist and panting softly, her hair already dishevelled and her eyes wide with desire.

"You're a damned tease," she whispered breathlessly against the elf's lips as she kissed him, receiving a quiet 'mmm' that vibrated through Fenris' chest and against her lips.

Hawke grinned playfully against Fenris' lips as she pressed her forehead against his, staring passionately into his eyes before staring to grind her sex against his length, causing Fenris to growl and moan underneath her.

She sat upright on his length and continued to grind against it, knowing she was driving Fenris crazy with desire. Hawke knew it wouldn't be long before he snapped when she felt his nails dig into her hips and his hips began bucking against her.

The mage wasted no time in removing Fenris' trousers and underwear; Fenris sighed in relief as soon as his length was free and he tugged at the band of Hawke's underwear and ripped them off, tossing them to one side. Hawke instantly began grinding against Fenris' length, covering it in her slickness and showing Fenris how ready and eager she was for him.

"Trinity…" Fenris growled, pushing himself upright with one arm and wrapping his other around Hawke's waist as he pushed himself into her sex, feeling her inner walls clamp around his length, trying to accommodate his size.

Both of them moaned each other's name in unison as they became complete for the first time in ages, staring affectionately into one another's eyes, staying completely still to revel in the feeling of being joined together so intimately.

Fenris savoured every moment like this with Hawke in case it might be their last. With the world at the brink of war, Fenris feared losing the only stability he had in his life more than ever. Their hips bucked against each other in a slow, languid pace; their eyes still focused on one another.

Hawke's fingers traced the lines of his lyrium tattoos that she could reach, knowing that it didn't cause him pain anymore if it was her touch. Fenris' markings glew faintly in the dimming firelight as she traced each line and curve of lyrium on his back. Soon their slow bucks turned into an animalistic frenzy; Hawke's moans of pure ecstasy echoed around the stone walls as Fenris pinned her to the floor, one hand holding her hands above her head and the other gripped tightly onto one side of her hips as he continued pounding her sex.

He growled and grunted at each thrust, skin slapping skin as he felt Hawke's inner walls tighten even more around his length, and Fenris was almost at the peak of his own release. His lips crashed against hers feverishly to muffle their cries of pleasure as their climaxes teetered over the edge, Fenris' thrusts breaking into jerking motions as his release filled her.

Fenris buried his face into Hawke's neck, inhaling her scent of sex, rosewater and jasmine. He loosened the grip on Hawke's wrists and he felt Hawke's arms wrap themselves around him as she panted into his ear, chaste kisses trailing along the length of his ear.

The couple laid there for several moments in the afterglow of their love-making, hands still caressing one another as the fire began to slowly dim, silence filling the room. Hawke shivered slightly, not being used to the silence. Even in Kirkwall, there was always some sort of hum of noise, whether it was from drunken patrons returning from the Hanged Man or the distant sound of music from the Blooming Rose. But in Ferelden, especially in the castle, the city seemed so far away, despite the castle being near the centre.

Feeling Hawke's discomfort, Fenris grabbed one of the blankets off the bed and a couple of the pillows, placing a pillow under her head and wrapping the blanket around them. After finally settling down again, Fenris held Hawke from behind and buried his face into her neck like he always did after they made love.

"I love you, Trinity."

Hawke smiled to herself as she pressed her body closer to Fenris', "I love you too, Fenris."