She woke up to the smell of herbs, dusty tomes and burnt candle wax. Stretching her arms upwards, Hawke opened her eyes and scanned the room. She was back in Kirkwall, more specifically in Anders' clinic in Darktown.

"What...Where…?"

It was clearly night-time, since the only light in the room came from the various groups of candles dotted around the room, and Hawke realised she was sleeping on Anders' bed. She swung her legs around so they were hanging off the bed, studying the room.

"Sleep well, Hawke?" His voice immediately got Hawke's attention.

Anders was slumped over one of his many manifestos, quill in his hand as he kept writing. He didn't look at Hawke, but she could hear the smile on his face.

"Anders…"

Hawke scurried to her feet and wrapped her arms around Anders from behind, burying her face into his feathery pauldrons as tears began to pour down her cheeks. He still smelt of healing herbs and magic; two smells that were unique to Anders.

"Anders...I've missed you so much…" Hawke began to sob, clinging onto Anders' robes.

"You know I'm not here anymore Hawke. You killed me, remember?" Anders continued to write in his manifesto, still not looking at Hawke.

"You gave me no choice…"

Anders placed the quill back in the inkwell after he had finished the sentence he was writing and stood up, his back to Hawke.

"You knew either Fenris, Sebastian or the templars would have killed me."

Hawke put her head in her hands as her sobs became wails of despair. She felt her body go numb as her hands shook.

"You didn't want me to suffer at their hands, but you could have let me go."

"But they would have hunted you down, chased you like a wild animal…" Hawke fell to her knees, her arms wrapped firmly around her body as she hid behind her hair.

Anders knelt down with her and pulled Hawke into an embrace. She clung onto his robes as she sobbed in his arms, like she had done many times before.

Hawke always would go to Anders whenever she needed to let go of all the pent-up emotions that she held inside. Even though she knew Anders had feelings for her, he still stood beside her as the best friend anyone could ask for.

He held Hawke as the blame for Bethany's death got the better of her, wiped her tears when Carver had to join the wardens, listened to her when the stress of being the Champion got to her.

Anders taught Hawke everything about healing magic and potions, in case he wasn't there to help when she went on missions.

"You were everything to me…" She whimpered into Anders' neck.

"You could have saved me."

"I know…"

Hawke gently pushed Anders away from her and looked up into his face, but it was covered by his hair, which was loose from its usual ponytail.

"Why won't you look at me?" Hawke cupped Anders' face in her hands, trying to get him to look at her.

But when he did, Hawke's eyes widened in horror and she began to shake. Anders had no eyes, leaving his eye sockets empty as tears of blood began pouring down his cheeks.

"You killed me," Anders screamed, the blood pouring even more from his eyes. Hawke began to scream in unison with Anders until his head exploded, the same way as it did when Hawke used that spell on him back in Kirkwall.

Her face, hands and body became drenched in his blood, and Hawke only realised then that she was wearing her usual nightgown. She threw up when she tasted his blood in her mouth, scuttling away from Anders' headless corpse until she was in the corner of room.

Hawke stared at her hands as she began to see flashes of her time spent in Kirkwall; when she first arrived, when she met each of her friends, her first kiss with Fenris, all the good and bad times in the Hanged Man, and every laugh, tear and drop of blood shed with her friends. But each time one good image came into her head, it flashed back to those bad memories she kept locked in her mind.

Anders' body suddenly burst into flames, and the fire soon spread around the room. Hawke began to suffocate from the heat and the smoke, curling up into a ball in the corner of the room she was trying to hide in, making herself as small as possible.

She screamed, begging for this torture to stop. She didn't deserve the happiness in her life. She didn't deserve Fenris, Winter or any of her friends. She didn't deserve to be safe in Denerim castle. She should be on the run, alone and trying to survive.

She deserved to be alone.

Hawke bolted upright, panting and shaking with fear. Her eyes darted around the room and she realised it was all just a nightmare, and she was still in Denerim. The fire that had died out hours ago was now lit again, burning at full capacity. Fenris groaned beside her and turned over, his back to the fire. He was still fast asleep, and Hawke was thankful; she didn't want him seeing her in this state.

She reached out to touch Fenris' shoulder but decided against it, knowing that her touch would hurt him.

"I can't stay here…" she whispered to herself and carefully got out of the bed, knowing that Fenris would be deep in sleep by now.

Not wasting any time, Hawke tip-toed around the room as she packed one of her travel bags, stuffing in only the essential clothes, potions and supplies in the bag. Her eyes were focused on the bed the entire time, hoping that Fenris would not wake up by the little noise she was making. His elven hearing made it almost impossible for Hawke to do anything without him stirring or waking up.

Luckily for Hawke, Fenris had spent the evening drinking some of the wine Alistair had given them from the cellar, so his elven hearing was not at it's pique.

Hawke paused at the door, her hand smooth against the solid wood. She took one last look at Fenris; he had stretched out on the bed and was hugging the pillow Hawke was sleeping on, his face buried into it. Hawke smiled sadly and tears began to pour from her face, but as soon as they left her eyes, they evaporated into steam. Hawke flinched and realised she had also left a palm print burnt into the door.

Shakily, Hawke undid the necklace Fenris gave her from around her neck and placed it on the bedside table before creeping out of the bedroom. She looked back for one last time at Fenris.

"You deserve better," she whispered before making her leave, making a note to stop at the larder for some food to leave with.

Hawke didn't know where she was going, but she needed to get away from everything as quickly, and as far, as possible.