AN: Here's lucky chapter 21! Thank you for all of the reviews. They give me major crack fic inspiration. 3 – That's my love for all of you and your comments, views, favs, and alerts.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, and I am not making any money from this fanfiction.
Bella POV
"Edward you are not a pirate."
"The life of a pirate. That's the life for me!" he chanted.
"Life for me!" squawked his bright red parrot. I had to admit, the parrot creeped me out with its lazy eye. What kind of parrot had a lazy eye? Oh, that's right. Edward's parrot.
"Edward," I repeated, "you are not a pirate. You are a vampire."
"Lies!" he screeched. "Lassie, you are trying to steal my buried treasure!"
"How can I be trying to steal something that is buried and that you don't have?" I asked incredulously, ready for Edward to regain his common sense.
There was a pause, and then Edward claimed, "I am a pirate!"
"Edward, you are a vampire. Do pirates drink blood?" I questioned, hoping he'd realize there was no way he could be a pirate.
Edward looked me straight in the eye and said, "The evil ones do." Then he tilted his head up and clenched his hands into claws, laughing maniacally. "Muhahahahahahaha."
Oh great. Not only does my husband think he's a pirate, but he thinks he's an evil bloodsucking pirate that sparkles because he's full of gold. He has been hanging around Alice waaaaay too much.