At lunch, Loki started to feel Natasha was deliberately delaying their departure. She ordered coffee and dessert, and then gave the dessert to Steve because she didn't actually want to eat it.
"Something wrong?" Loki asked her.
"No, not at all."
But finally she got a text, and it was no surprise they were headed back to the hotel shortly after. But as they got closer, he decided he was finished playing along. He stopped on the sidewalk and folded his arms. "Is this about the surprise? Because I am becoming less certain I wish a surprise. And certainly not a surprise from SHIELD."
She touched his shoulder, and let her eyes slide away as she considered, then decided the surprise wasn't worth his building anxiety. "It's nothing bad. There are some people waiting in the lobby I want you to meet. Well, you met them before but I'm not sure you remember them."
He frowned. "Before?"
Her eyes flicked to Steve. "Sokovia."
"Sokovia?" Steve echoed. "You mentioned that before, what happened in Sokovia?"
"Not now," Loki said shortly, not taking his eyes away from Natasha. He knew she wouldn't want him to meet anyone terrible from Sokovia. If SHIELD had captured escaped Hydra people they wouldn't be waiting in the lobby of the hotel.
Telling himself these things didn't help his heart stay at a level calm.
Breathe slowly, he reminded himself. I am a seidrmaster; I learned how to focus, I learned how to use my will to reach the primal force of the universe. And I tire of having mortal ants control me from death.
When he was able to meet Natasha's eyes again, she added, "Doctor Maximova's children."
Relief made him laugh. "Oh! Well, why didn't you say so? That is a good surprise!" He headed down the sidewalk. "Come then."
"Sokovia?" Steve insisted, and Loki could tell he wasn't going to be able to put him off again.
"You remember Hydra?" Loki asked him, not pausing to cross the street even though the walk signal was nearly at zero. "It turned out that a small off-shoot of Hydra lingered in Sokovia. I was injured in the fight, and Doctor Maximova in the hospital there helped me. I am glad to hear her children have come here." The driver honked, unable to turn with Loki in the sidewalk in front of him; Loki tossed an illusory brick at the windshield of the vehicle, smirking as the driver recoiled in the belief the glass was going to shatter. On the sidewalk, he asked Natasha as if nothing had happened, "Are they visiting?"
She gave him a narrowed eyed look of disapproval, which Loki ignored, and she gave in and shook her head. "No. We inspired them to join SHIELD, and they've just started at the Academy."
His step faltered, as he wondered if they were truly his enemies after all, seeking to infiltrate SHIELD, but put that aside. Natasha would know, since she'd been there and would know better whether their help had been genuine or not. And since she believed it had been, then it was, and his doubt was mere reflexive fear, not truth.
He nodded. "That's a good idea to recruit younger people who saw the vileness of Hydra in their homeland so they might work against it better in SHIELD." He ignored Natasha's glance that suggested she didn't really buy his cheerful approval, and she didn't say anything, sliding past him to enter the automatic doors first.
The young people were immediately obvious, visible from down the lobby area where they were standing together in some unease by the fireplace seating area.
They were both handsome, but Loki's eyes were drawn to the young man's nearly white hair with a pang of loss, since it reminded him of Elsa.
"Wanda and Pietro Maximoff," Natasha introduced. "Lukas Onsdag. They helped us get you out of the fort in Sokovia, and Clint recruited them. They wanted to meet you, now that you're better."
Loki stepped forward, extending his hand. "Then I owe you a great debt of gra... ti... tude..." His voice faded away, as he felt an odd echo within, a sense of familiarity. There was a feeling that called to him and found its mate in him, rebounding to both of them. His eyes traveled between them both, and Wanda seemed to feel it, too, her gaze snapping up to his with wide-eyed shock.
He held out a hand, palm upward. "Wanda."
She set her hand over his, tentatively at first. When their fingers tightened on each other, that familiarity echoed between them like a plucked string.
"How?" she whispered. "What does it mean?"
He held out his other hand for Pietro and felt the same, and a smile grew in tandem with the growing sense of elation within, like a surge of glowing light caught in his chest as he understood. "It means... it means, you are... You are of my blood, my descent. I'm not sure how, yet, but it is distinct and quite strong in you. This … this is more than I could ever have imagined." He laughed a little, at his own amazement, and his eyes stung with tears. "Family." He turned his head to look at Natasha. "How did you know?"
She shook her head, smile hovering on her lips for his delight and amazement. "I didn't. I only wanted you to know more people you can trust were near. I had no idea you were related to them."
"Now I understand," Wanda said, glancing at their joined hands. "I knew I wanted to help you. I knew it was something we had to do. It felt... right."
"I'm very glad you did, but even more glad to know you exist." Loki let go of their hands, but only so he could lift one and touch Pietro's nearly white hair. "You look so much like my daughter."
"Our father had it, too," Pietro said.
"Had?" he repeated, disappointed that this new relative might have died already without Loki getting to know him. "Is he- did he die?"
The twins exchanged a glance. "We don't know. He left when we were little," Pietro said flatly. "He disappeared."
"Oh. I am sorry. Both for your sake and that I cannot meet him, too. But still, that erases none of my excitement to find family here on Midgard. And with powers as well."
They looked at each other again, surprised. "No," Pietro said, "we have none. Or at least I have none, Wanda has a little..."
Loki interrupted them, smiling, "No, no, my friends, you have more than that. The blood runs strong in you, and the potential for more is there. I can help you unlock it. If you wish," he added, though he had little doubt they would want to. This was a new dangerous age and they were children who already knew war.
But Wanda had another thought. "Mother said our father had some kind of power. He could move things like coins with his mind. That was why she was never surprised by my other sense. She said once that he told her he was a prisoner in one of the Nazi camps. She thought it was a lie, because he looked too young... But maybe it was true. You were here during the war, too."
Loki's jaw loosened, wondering if this relative of his might have been captive at the same time he was. He might have been a test subject at some point, and like Barnes, some version of the serum had worked to enhance his lifespan. He might have been at the same facility as Loki at some point, his own descendant down the hall from him. "Do you know his name?"
"Erik," Pietro answered unexpectedly. "but I do not know his family name. Mother never told us. She was not happy with him when he left. Maximov is her family. I think he was a child in the war, or at tleast that was what I understood."
Erik. Erik. A relative. A child? Could Erik be his son? Who could he be?
Thor had mentioned an Erik Selvig who worked with Jane Foster to recreate the Bifrost. Thor hadn't mentioned any powers nor resemblance to Elsa, but Thor had been so protective, he might have decided it was too upsetting to tell Loki about. Loki would have to look into it, just in case. Since SHIELD had taken many of the old Hydra files, Loki wondered if he might get more information.
"She may know his family name," Wanda offered. "I will ask her."
"Well, a last name would help, but there are other ways. But," Loki thought of the timing with more care and less hope, and said with some disappointment, "I did not come to Midgard until late and I did not-" He was about to say he had not bedded any human woman during the war, but the sudden memory of hands sent him flinching back. Was it possible? Had they taken-? No, he was not thinking that; the timing was wrong and he would not go there. "He cannot be my son. He must stem from Elsa in Arendelle, or another I did not know about in the 1700s. I was not so careful back then."
"Three hundred years?" Pietro asked, doubting this information. "You are so old?"
Ah, that made him feel better as he smirked. "You know you are the blood of a god, Pietro?" They gaped on hearing that, probably at the affront to their personal religion whatever it was, and he laughed at their faces.
Pietro asked, "And Thor, too?"
That caught Loki up, realizing that of course they had met Thor. "He… and I share no blood," he answered levelly, wishing this simple fact didn't twist inside. He knew they were not blood kin, he'd known it for centuries, and yet acknowledging the truth still threw him back to that wrenching conversation with Odin and Frigga at his coming of age when he'd felt his heart shatter into smaller and smaller pieces. They'd said so many words meant to be reassuring, yet those words had been hollow, nothing but explanations and excuses for why they treated Thor as the 'true' son and Loki got the scraps of whatever was left over.
He cleared his throat and finished, "So you share none with him. Only with me. I'm sorry if that is a disappointment."
Steve had been hanging back, content to watch with Natasha, but he moved forward. "Lukas? They're related to you? You can tell that?"
It was a relief to stir himself from bitter old resentment. "I can," he answered. "Wanda, Pietro, this is my friend, Steve Rogers."
Their eyes grew wide, and Wanda looked from Steve to Loki and back again before she asked, "You are Captain America?"
"It's sort of a secret that I'm back," Steve said, shaking their hands as if he thought they were at a business meeting. Loki wanted to roll his eyes. "Please don't tell anyone just yet."
"No, of course not," they both reassured him hastily.
"We should take over the corner of the bar and get to know each other," Loki suggested.
They talked, keeping to topics of their home in Sokovia and their time so far in the US. It was pleasant but shallow. Loki had to remind himself that he was a stranger to them, and not everyone could be as welcoming as Elsa and Anna had been to him. They weren't unfriendly, but it lacked immediate warmth.
But then, he realized it was because they were both afraid of what he'd said about their power, when Wanda asked into a lull, "You said that you might unlock greater power inside us. What did you mean? How?"
He leaned back in the chair and rested the mug of bitter tea on his knee. "Elsa, the Snow Queen of Arendelle, was able to manipulate climate such that she cast her entire kingdom into winter during July."
"You think we could do that?" Pietro asked in utter disbelief.
He shrugged, but Natasha interjected, "Wanda said she had some psychic ability. Surely that could expand?"
Loki raised his mug to Wanda in salute. "Yes, probably. Psychic ability? So you have already unlocked your potential, at least partially, it would seem. The ability had already decided on the form it will take.'
She frowned. "Do I want it to expand? That seems dangerous."
Steve leaned forward. "You know I faced that choice, right? If you know who I am, you know the basics of the story. I was a scrawny kid who wanted to fight, but more than that, I wanted to help. The Army had rejected me for being sickly and weak, but Doctor Erskine offered me the chance to take this risk with the serum and become something greater. To do what I could, to protect innocents."
"Very inspirational, Steven," Loki said dryly.
Natasha shot him a look to shut up the commentary, and she added, "That's what you told us about joining SHIELD, wasn't it? The Winter Angel?"
Loki sat forward, curious about the name. "Winter Angel? What is that?"
"It's a movie, based loosely on Barnes' book about you," she explained.
His jaw loosened and he stared. "There is a film, about me, that you did not mention? I knew about the comic book, but surely you could have told me about a movie so I could watch it and laugh," Loki said, affronted.
"You wouldn't laugh," she answered rather flatly. "It's the whole story of you during the war, Lukas. It's not a comedy. And whether it's accurate or not, I guarantee you aren't ready to see it yet."
Oh. The movie was about everything. Depicted everything.
A dark curtain passed across his vision, memories of pain and helplessness, Schmidt's hideous face and voice, and the cold touch of hands everywhere.
"I see," he said, and his voice seemed to be coming from far away. "It was good to meet you both. Excuse me."
He set the mug carefully on the low table and walked away, as the walls were closing in on him. Sokovian children, reminders of Schmidt and Zola, even Steven talking about the serum…
The air was too heavy to breathe.
He went outside the hotel into fall's warm spell, humidity creeping on the back of his neck beneath his hair, and walked.
Natasha watched him leave, and inwardly shook her head.
"It still affects him," Steve said sadly.
"Still?" Pietro repeated in confusion, and looked to Natasha. "It was only weeks past."
"Wait, what? Weeks? You mean years, right? Wasn't it?" Steve also looked at Natasha, expecting a translation misunderstanding, and she knew she was going to have to tell him. Lukas would expect her to after his unsubtle reaction, and she was tired of hiding it.
The twins exchanged a glance, and Pietro asked Natasha, "He does not know?"
"No," she admitted with a sigh. "Lukas was trying to keep it to himself. But you should know, Rogers. I'll tell you."
Wanda glanced at Pietro. "We should go. Over there. Pietro." When he didn't follow her quickly enough, she pulled on his shirt to take him away.
When they were gone, Natasha took the corner seat and Steve sat close. "What really happened in Sokovia?" he asked.
She sipped at her drink and answered his question with one of her own, "What did he tell you about the month before you woke up? Or where he's been?"
Steve frowned. "Nothing really. Just what you heard. He was sent to Arendelle from wherever he's from, he's in exile, and he spent some time on a farm, adjusting to modern Earth. And he visited Sokovia to attack some sort of Hydra remnant there, and I gather something awful happened."
She leaned closer and explained, "He was sent here to Earth with most of his powers bound for some reason he won't talk about. A remnant of Hydra found out he was back and they captured and tortured him. They broke his fingers and cut him open." She gestured a slash across her abdomen. She thought of what else she knew that they had done and decided to keep that to herself. That was for Loki to tell or Steve to guess, not her to reveal. "Because he didn't have his super-healing when we rescued him, if not for their mother's skill at surgery, he probably would have died. He had to recover at a safe house in the country for a while. He's had his powers back and fully healed for a week."
"Oh." Steve thumped back in the seat, horrified. "God, he was hurt again. But he's fine now?" He took back the question immediately, waving a hand, "Physically, I mean."
She nodded confirmation. "Yes. Physically, he's restored. Mentally? Much less so." She gestured, flicking her fingers to follow in Lukas' direction, since that had been a fine example of his unsteady mental state.
Steve nodded, sadly. "So that's why he didn't sleep. Not that I sleep well either, but I don't think he slept in the apartment." His eyes flicked in the direction Lukas had gone. "God. That's terrible. I'm surprised he came back to Earth at all after last time, and then it happens again? No wonder." He leaned forward, holding out his hands toward her in a gesture of invitation and openness. "What do we do? To help him?"
She wanted to tell him that he should probably get his own help, since he had at least as much to deal with than Lukas did, but she couldn't say it. Lukas was coping by helping Steve, and clearly Steve wanted to do the same for him. Since she was the last person who had any standing to complain about someone wanting to cope by doing something, she made a little smile of understanding. "I have a friend at SHIELD who's looking into a doctor who can help."
Steve lifted his eyerbows, skeptical of this idea. "You think Lukas would try it?"
"We'll see. If we can find the right person." She thought getting Lukas to try it probably wouldn't be difficult; he knew he had a problem. But getting him to stay in treatment, especially if he didn't feel better right away, would probably be more of a struggle. Hopefully whoever Maria thought of would have a lot of patience. "You could talk to someone, too."
Steve shrugged. "I have Bucky and Peggy, and Lukas. And you," he added with a smile, tapping the table in front of her. "You're a good listener, Natasha."
"That's what I do," she answered with an easy smile. It was true, after all – interrogations were almost entirely listening. It was an easy skill to use on her friends, too. "But listening only goes so far with Lukas, I think. And maybe for you, too. It wouldn't hurt to have a professional help you, even if they've never dealt with a case exactly like yours."
"I'll think about it," he answered, and she valiantly held back an eyeroll, knowing that wouldn't help. They were both so stubborn, it was maddening.
She nodded. "Anyway, I had another idea. The one place Lukas feels most at home is Arendelle. When I was researching my mission on the way to meet him originally, I found a rumor of a creature up in the mountains there."
Steve frowned. "Isn't that him? The Ice Demon story?"
"Probably. But maybe not. There was a Facebook post that got passed around of someone getting attacked in the winter by some sort of yeti, and that couldn't be him, since he wasn't on Earth last year. So I sold Director Fury the idea of a mission for us to investigate. It'll help Lukas feel better to be home, I think."
She had also sold it to Fury as a way to ease Steve back into fighting trim and get him to bond with her and Lukas, so he'd be more willing to join the Initiative project. But she kept that part to herself.
"What about them?" Steve asked, jerking his chin in the direction of the Maximoffs.
"I'll have SHIELD take them to the Triskelion. I doubt Lukas will want-"
He interrupted, "No, I meant, they're family; they mean a lot to him."
"Yes..." she agreed, a bit wary, since she wasn't sure what conclusion he was heading for. "He lost his Arendelle family long ago, and recently broke off relations with his Asgard family, except his brother, so he's feeling alone."
"Right," Steve agreed. "So, what about that Erik they mentioned? Can SHIELD find him?"
Natasha was tempted. Steve was right, since Loki would love to know another relative's whereabouts. But she had to purse her lips and shake her head. "He wouldn't want SHIELD to know he exists."
Steve nodded, grimly accepting that was true. "Especially if he has powers."
"Exactly. Lukas doesn't trust SHIELD right now, and to be honest, we don't know if there are more Hydra plants in the organization," she admitted. "Commander Hill's been tasked with the investigation and I trust her, but the list of other people I trust isn't very long right now."
Steve gave a soft sigh and sipped at his coffee. "I'll ask Bucky and Peggy at least. From what they've said about taking down Hydra cells after the war, they might have some info on this guy. Or know of some records to look in, at least. That wouldn't tell us where he is now, but might give us more to work with."
"All right, that sounds like a plan. You go visit them. I'll question our young recruits over there again and text you if I find anything new," she agreed. "I'll keep an eye out for Lukas, when he comes back."
Steve stood up, said goodbye and headed for the front doors of the hotel. Natasha smiled, glad he had something to think about. And maybe Barnes and Carter would actually know something.
She texted Lukas "are you ok?" to make sure he'd know she was concerned though she didn't expect a quick response, and joined the Maximoffs to dig into their story.
tbc...