Nathaniel frowned, pushing the food around his plate with his fork as he rested his head on the other hand. Carver and his 'little band of outcasts' (as they were now known as) were being their usual boisterous selves around him, chowing down their meals as if it was their last. Merrill still suffered with the Grey Warden appetite, and Carver would catch her stealing bits off his plate, which would cause Agna and Feynrith to roar with laughter.

He must admit that since Carver and Merrill returned with them, the Warden's moral overall had improved. Carver had transformed from a whiny and stubborn brat into a hard-working and level-headed brat. Even if everyone else liked him, Nathaniel couldn't abide his smugness and constant drive to be better than everyone else.

"Have you guys noticed that the Commander hasn't been doing her usual rounds of the training ground recently? It's always been Varel doing the rounds instead," Feynriel said, with a mouthful of bread.

"She's in the library again. I don't think I've even seen her leave that place, and Varel has stopped people going in there now since Katherine has started spending all her time there. Is she alright? Is she just reading all the books? What if she's ill and looking for a cure? Surely she get's sleep?" Merrill started babbling, before Carver hushed her, causing the worried elf to blush profusely.

"Whatever it is, it must be important," Agna added, "She wouldn't get lazy on her training routines for no reason."

Carver scoffed, "She might be our Commander, but she is still the Queen of Ferelden. Most royalty just sit around and let the others do the work for them. Maybe she's just given up since there's no darkspawn anymore."

Nathaniel rose from his seat suddenly, glaring at the warrior beside him, "How dare you! Our Commander has done more than you have ever done in your pathetic life. She chose to sacrifice her life to join the Wardens, and she would continue to do so, no matter who she is married to."

"You may say that, but who's family was it that slaughtered the Commander's entire family?" Carver smirked, his glibness seeping from him as he stood up to meet Nathaniel's eyes. Nathaniel's hands instantly balled into fists as the entire mess hall grew quiet.

"That was my fath-, Rendon's fault, not mine. I was never part of that family, so never count me as such! I'm more of a man than he ever was," he growled in response.

"What man? You're just some brooding second-in-command to the woman who now controls your daddy's estate? Pathetic," Carver snapped, knowing it would get some reaction from the Constable of the Grey.

"Why you-"

"That's enough!" Varel got in-between the two men and held them apart before Nathaniel could swing a punch at Carver. The old man was surprisingly strong for his age, and was able to keep both men from tearing each other apart.

"Everyone knows you both hate each other, but you both need to cease this rivalry! If you can't get along, at least ignore one another unless you're forced to work together. Katherine does not need this added stress right now, and you damned well know that, Howe."

Nathaniel shrugged Varel's hand off his shoulder and stormed off, grabbing his bow and quiver, before marching to the training range to clear his head. He respected Carver's skills, but he loathed the brat still left in him. He knew that if Katherine was there, Carver would not have even acted like that.

Katherine...He was getting extremely worried about his Commande- no, childhood friend. She was becoming extremely isolated and only allowed Varel to see her. She no longer went to her quarters, and was only seen getting food from Varel or being forced to bathe by Oghren who didn't want her 'stinking like a bag of nugs'.

He didn't even notice he had begun firing arrows at the target until he heard a familiar voice behind him, which had that familiar Free Marcher's lilt to it.

"Ooh that's very impressive! Hit the bull's eye five times in a row! How long have you been an archer, Constable?"

Nathaniel sighed and turned to face the small Dalish elf in front of him, "Come to backup your husband, Merrill?"

Merrill instantly flinched at his statement before fumbling with her hands, her eyes downcast, "I-I-I...No. What Carver said was wrong, and I've come to apologise for his behaviour."

"You do not need to apologise for him," Nathaniel snapped before turning back to the target as he began firing again.

"Ir abelas. I just-I...I know that you're very worried about Katherine, we all are. But you've known her longer than anyone here. Even before she was the Warden Commander," Merrill stayed behind Nathaniel, knowing that getting closer to him would anger him.

"Katherine told me about how close you two are, since childhood. But you really should go and see her! She would probably enjoy your company more than those dusty old books."

Nathaniel lowered his bow, a sudden realistion came to him. For once, the elf that usual babbles nonsense made sense, and he turned to Merrill, who now looked up at him innocently.

"Thank you Merrill," Nathaniel smiled genuinely before placing his bow and quiver in the stands, and he made his way hastily towards the kitchen to bring Katherine some food, a small grin playing at his lips.

Just childhood friends, huh? Good thing Katherine didn't mention the other small details, otherwise entirety of the Grey Wardens would know about...them...By the morning.

The library was completely dark. All the braziers had been blown out, and the only light came from the desk where he could see Katherine slumped over, a few candelabras scattered around the large desk. Books were piled either side of the desk, and parchment was scattered across the floor.

Before he entered the library with the little plate of goodies he managed to get from the kitchen, Varel approached Nathaniel with the key to the library, and a small update on how Katherine was; Oghren had managed to get her to bathe to keep up appearances, and she had trained on some dummies during the night so it wouldn't disturb anyone.

Locking the door behind him, Nathaniel noticed Katherine's head perk up from resting on her arms. She didn't turn to see who it was, assuming it would be Varel. Instead, she got back to scribbling away inside a journal.

"I...Brought you some food."

Katherine's body instantly tensed and she spun around on the bench she was sitting on, turning to face him. Even in the dim candlelight, Nathaniel could see the bags under her honey-brown eyes and the paleness of her usually-tanned face. She was much skinnier than she usual; losing the weight from not eating as often as she usually did. He also noticed that her plaited buns were gone, and her long black hair went past her shoulders in a cascade of gentle curls; her armour was also gone and was replaced by a low cut, dark blue dress. It was very rare to see Katherine in a dress, so he could tell by the pile of clothes when he entered the library that she had began to run out of her usual clothing to wear.

Despite her tired appearance, there was a fire in her eyes he had not seen since she found out Anders had been located in the Free Marches, or whenever they- no, he would not think about that now.

"Where's Varel?" Her voice was monotonal, but he could see she was still carefully watching his every move, her eyes squinting in suspicion.

"The Seneschal allowed me to enter the library my lady, he-"

"Don't give me that 'my lady' bullshit. You know you can call me-"

"Katy."

They were both silent when Nathaniel whispered the nickname he gave her when they were both in their childhood, before all the mess between their families happened. Nathaniel sighed and set the plate of food on the desk and started looking at Katherine's notes; maps of the Deep Roads, reports of births during the Blight and ancient texts on the taint. What was she looking for?

"What are you searching for?"

"It's none of your business," Katherine growled under her breath before gathering up all of the reports and hid them under a few of the books, glaring at Nathaniel.

"If there is anything I can do-"

"I need to do this by myself. Leave me be."

"And there you go again," Nathaniel huffed, crossing his arms. His patience with her had already grown thin.

"Go again with what, Howe?"

Nathaniel grit his teeth, "With your constant need to have to go through things on your own! You have others here who can help you."

"Yes, but I must do this by myself," Katherine stood her ground and got nose-to-nose to her second-in-command, "Those are my orders, now leave me be."

"Your Wardens are worried about you!" he snapped.

"Don't make me ask again, Nathaniel."

"You need the rest."

"Nathaniel," she warned, her hands curling into fists by her side. He loved this fiery side to her.

"What are you doing to do if I don't?"

Katherine threw her hands up in defeat, "I'm getting Varel."

"Maker's breath...Katy listen to me!" Nathaniel reached out and grabbed Katherine's arm.

Katherine stood completely still, turning to Nathaniel with her eyes wide in shock. "Nate…"

Nathaniel swallowed the lump that had seemed to get in his throat, "We're- No...I'm worried about you. You've been stuck in this library for months now, and you won't give anyone the reason why."

"Don't."

"If you can't tell anyone else, at least tell me! I know you still have those feelings, deep down inside. Even if you're with-"

"Nate. Stop."

"I need you, Katy. I need to see you back to your normal fiery self. The woman who can kick my ass and be my dearest friend all at the same time."

There was an awkward silence between them, the only sounds being the echoing footsteps in the halls surrounding the library and the quiet pitter-patter of raindrops against the windows. Nathaniel loosened his grip on Katherine's arm, letting her arm drop to her side.

"If you must go and fetch the Seneschal," Nathaniel croaked, trying to swallow the lump forming in his throat. This may be the only time he could ask her this.

"What we had...Before the Blight. Did you ever regret everything that happened between us?"

Katherine was quiet for a moment before she turned to face Nathaniel, taking a few steps closer to him as she spoke. She kept her eyes to the floor and fiddled with her wedding ring on her finger.

"Not a single moment. You...You know I'm not good with these kinds of questions Nate."

They were now standing a footstep apart one another, and Nathaniel's heart felt like it was going to leap out of his throat. Could she still care about him the way he had always done since childhood? Even after everything that has happened?

Nathaniel placed a careful hand on her bare shoulder, feeling Katherine relax under his touch as he glided his fingertips slowly down her arm. He knew damned well that being seen in this...Situation with the Queen of Ferelden would possibly get him beheaded or thrown in the dungeon for all eternity, but Nathaniel had a twisted feeling in his gut that all this research Katherine was doing was leading to something dangerous and life-changing. This could be the last chance they have together.

He felt her hands gingerly cup his cheeks, her thumbs slowly stroking his stubbled cheeks, "I...I will always care deeply for you Nate. You were my first love after all, and those feelings will never go away."

Her honey eyes met his steely blue ones, and he felt all the worry and anger seep away from him. She had always had that effect on her, and she damn well knew it. The candlelight illuminated her face, giving her an otherworldly glow, as if Nathaniel was dreaming and would probably wake up in a sweaty tangled mess in his bed sheets.

"Katy...We can't. You're marri-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Katherine silenced him by pressing her lips against his. Her lips weren't hungry in a fit of passion and lust like he expected; they were tender and gentle, and held the love she had kept for him for all the years they had together. Nathaniel tangled his fingers in her hair and kissed her just as sweetly back, savouring this loving moment he knew he would never get back.

When they parted from their tender kiss, Katherine smirked wickedly before wrapping her arms around the back of her fellow warden's neck and kissing him more passionately. Nathaniel didn't know how to react, hesitating between putting an end to all of this before it escalated, or continuing with this dangerous path.

But as soon as Katherine teased his bottom lip between her teeth and look seductively under half-lidded eyes at him, he knew she would be his undoing.

Nathaniel snapped and pinned Katherine against one of the bookcases, devouring her lips in desperation as she gasped in pleasure underneath him, returning his hungry kisses with her own. She dug her nails into the back of his neck when he started moving his lips to her neck, suckling on the velvety skin and Nathaniel savoured the sweet sounds he was drawing from her. Maker did he miss hearing her moan and whimper like this.

"Nate...Wait," Katherine gasped between moans, causing him to instantly stop in case she wanted to get out of this whilst she still could.

"Katy...If you don't want to-"

Katherine simply giggled at him, her hands pressed against his chest, "I was simply suggesting we take this...Elsewhere."

Nathaniel arched a brow, a small smirk playing at his lips as he allowed her to lead him by the hand to a secret door in the library, which lead straight to her room. So that's where she had been sleeping and bathing without being caught leaving the library...The clever minx.

Now Nathaniel couldn't care what would happen to him in the morning, but right now, he was back in the days before the Blight happened, where Katherine was his betrothed and they both didn't have to live with the burden of leading an army of Wardens.

Even if this was their last night ever seeing each other, Nathaniel would now die a happy man.