Life settled into a strange sort of peace then. It was eerie, really, like the calm before a storm. Marid was still silent, much to General Leger's frustration. Our damage control meetings for Marid trickled off from being every few days to once a week and then once every two weeks. General Leger wasn't halting whatsoever in his search for Marid but without any word from him, there was no way for us to track him. It left us with two hypotheses about him: he was either dead or planning something big.

"There's no reason for him to hold on to anything to release because at this point, it would be out of date," General Leger theorized. "We're still going through footage from when those flowers were in your office but we can't find anything that damning."

"So maybe he is dead," I said hopefully.

He shook his head. "We'd know if he was dead."

"How?"

"His parents would have burned down the palace by now."

It wasn't exactly reassuring, knowing that his parents could easily make the palace burn. It made me feel even more uneasy than knowing that Marid was still hiding out there, waiting to strike at the best time. His absence was very noticeable though, and it preoccupied my mind far more than I would have liked when I could have been celebrating happy things like the upcoming gathering of mayors and other political leaders to discuss the first official draft of the constitution as well as Dad's birthday.

At least, I was looking forward to Dad's birthday until one morning when I walked into my office and found his birthday ball scratched from my calendar. "Neena!" I called, chewing my lip as I waited for her to come.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Why is my father's birthday party no longer on my schedule?" The whole reason for planning the summit in August was so that Queen Nicoletta and our other foreign friends could stay a few extra days to celebrate his birthday. The man was turning forty, after all. A new decade called for a party.

Neena looked confused as she peered down at my calendar. "I'm sorry ma'am, but I didn't cancel it and Lady Brice hasn't come in yet. Perhaps you could ask your father?"

"Ask my father?"

"It is his birthday, ma'am. If anyone knew why it was cancelled, he would know why."

"Absolutely," I agreed. I strode down the hall to where I could hear piano music trickling from Mom's bedroom. Praying that I would find both of them inside and fully clothed (because since they retired, you'd think it would pain them to be apart), I poked my head in. Thankfully all clothes were being worn and both of my parents were inside. "Dad?"

His head shot up from where he was lying on Mom's bed, watching her play. "Eadlyn, how can we help you?"

"Your birthday party was scratched from my schedule and Neena didn't know why. Do you know who could have cancelled it?"

"Of course." He was quiet for several moments. I almost thought that he wasn't going to answer when he said, "I cancelled it."

I raised my eyebrows at him. Mom continued to play a familiar sonata. "You cancelled it?"

"I did. Eadlyn, there's really no need for a big ball this year. I'm not king anymore, the people don't have to celebrate me and I'd really like to not have to go to another stupid ball. Now that I'm not king, I would like to spend my birthday how I've wanted to spend my birthday for the last twenty years," he explained, not at all fazed by my shock that he had cancelled his own birthday party.

"Which is how, exactly?"

He smiled wickedly as Mom stopped playing. "Do you really want to know?" she asked, propping an elbow up on the ledge for sheet music in front of her. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen her play with music though; she played everything by memory because apparently she wasn't already a superhuman enough.

"Never mind. But what about all of the people we've invited for your party?" I turned to Dad again.

"Just explain to them that I no longer see it fit to have such an extravagant celebration and that I would like to scale back this year. They'll understand. Besides, the Italians always bring a party no matter what. We won't be missing much from them."

"What about Ahren? He promised to come around for your birthday."

Dad rolled his eyes. "For Illéa's sake, Eadlyn, I'm not giving up on my birthday altogether. We can celebrate as a family along with our friends. Just no party. That way the hundreds of thousands dollars you would typically spend on it can be put elsewhere, for a greater purpose. I've already personally reimbursed the people you've paid. "

I huffed. "Well, what are we supposed to do? Eat chocolate cake and pretend that August 23 isn't basically a national holiday?"

"You can, but your mother and I will be in Dominica." They shared a conspiratorial smile but Mom faced me again, her smile sliding off her face slowly. She could see how bothered I was with the fact that Dad was determined to not celebrate his birthday. I wasn't about to apologize for the fact that I wanted to just have one day to praise my dad properly for all of his hard work. I was only his daughter though; my want to please didn't come close to Mom's and they deserved this vacation together.

"When are you leaving?"

"The day before my birthday," Dad answered simply, lifting the newspaper sitting in front of him to inspect the headlines.

I let out a big breath, relieved that they would be there for the summit. I had nothing left to say to either of them so I chose that moment to leave and head back to my office. The summit was in ten days but I had something else much more pressing to attend to at the moment. Panama had been suffering from even more terrible weather, causing the need for aid and improvement to infrastructure to increase further. I wanted to visit to be able to get a better idea of what they needed but with the summit, Dad's now-cancelled birthday and my wedding just a few weeks later – eek – it wasn't the right time for a diplomatic visit.

With few other options for learning how to improve the Panama citizens' well-being, I called on Kile.

"When you said I was banished, I didn't think I was really allowed to come back before your wedding," he commented as he strolled into my study casually, sporting a healthy tan and a wide smile.

"I was the one who banished you. I think I'm allowed to change the conditions as I see fit," I answered playfully.

He smiled again and I walked around my desk to embrace him tightly. "God, Eadlyn, how are you? It's so bizarre to not talk to you. There have been dozens of times where I've wanted to call you to ask for your opinion or input on something but per the rules of my banishment, I called my assigned adviser instead."

"Good boy," I joked. We separated and sat on our respective sides of my desk. "So I have a project for you."

"If you have a project for me now, what exactly have I been doing for the last two months in Bonita?"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes at him. "Your service in Bonita has been priceless to the Crown. I would like to reward you in due time but I do have one big favor."

"I'm listening."

"How would you like to go to Panama?" I asked him.

He frowned. "How would I like to die of air pollution?"

I grimaced, knowing that the pollution was a big problem in Panama and Honduragua. "It's only for a couple months."

"A couple months?" His mouth dropped open.

"Look, obviously you've heard about all of the bad weather and storm damage they have down there. I want an official palace architect down there to be a leader for people trying to rebuild. Again, we'll get you anything you need when you ask. I'll be able to visit after my wedding to better assess the damage but I really need someone there now representing me."

"So you pick me, the favorite of the Elite?" he asked, his voice only half-teasing.

I shrugged. "I guess so." He sighed and studied the carved edging of my desk in front of him. "Kile, I know that it couldn't have been easy for you to come back here and I know that helping me could just be rubbing salt in your wounds but I didn't know who else to ask."

He shook his head slowly, his eyes finally meeting mine. "It's not my feelings for you, Eadlyn. I'm not over you but I am moving on. I'm not sure working for you will be best for that."

"Are you saying no?" I drew back, shocked, trying to think of new ways off the top of my head to do this if he wasn't going to be the one helping me.

"I'm saying that I would do it, I would just need to have as little contact with you as possible."

I pulled out the folder of reports and transcripts of my phone calls with the mayor of Panama. We had spoken at length about the initiative I wanted to start for national aid, starting in her province. She loved the idea and gladly accepted my offer for help. The only issue was the advisers – but who was shocked by that? Any problem with the implementation of new policies or initiatives could be traced back to them. "This is a packet of information that could be valuable to you. Just look it over and tell me what you think about it."

"I'm not sure going through a 200-page packet written by you will really help my case."

I hesitated and then said, "I wasn't the one who organized it." Anyone could have written it, any of the fifty advisers working the palace. But my dropped gaze gave it away.

"Oh," he said, his voice somewhat high. "Okay. Well, I'll take a look. Am I allowed to leave now?" he asked, almost as an afterthought.

"Of course," I answered. We both were pretending to not hear the hurt in his voice. It only made my own heart hurt. We had managed to part on such amicable terms and he seemed to accept my choice in Eikko. Maybe the distance from me hadn't helped though. Maybe his being far from me and having a fresh perspective made him realize that he actually was heartbroken or angry about my betrayal. As I watched him leave my office, I wondered whether or not I was right in bringing him back. Was he really my only option or was he the only option I gave myself?

Just as Kile reached to open the door, it swung open and Eikko stepped in. I held my breath as they appraised each other for several moments. "Kile, it's good to see you," Eikko greeted stiffly, obviously sensing the tension. Typical Eikko, though, plastered on his sunny smile and clapped Kile's shoulder. "Really, are you staying? I still want a rematch in chess."

For a horrifying second, I thought that Kile would turn him down. After all, Eikko had already beaten him in Kile's biggest competition in life so far. "You better prepare yourself for a lifetime of rematches then, because you are never beating me," Kile swore, shaking Eikko's hand. I let out a long sigh of relief.

"Deal." Kile disappeared through the door and Eikko met me in the middle of the office, kissing me tenderly. "How is he?"

"He's wary of agreeing to it," I told him. "He's still hurting. He's trying to hide it but I can see right through him. I just hate that I did this to him."

Eikko smiled sadly and folded me in his arms. "You made an impossible choice but spared yourselves a lifetime of pain and discontent," he reminded me. "Someday he'll meet a lovely woman and fall in love with her properly and he'll understand the choice you made."

"Am I a horrible person for wishing that day comes soon?"

He laughed lightly. "No. You just want what's best for someone you love."

"How are you feeling?" I asked, wanting to get the conversation away from Kile. Eikko had woken up that morning feeling extremely anxious after having a night filled with terrifying dreams. He didn't remember any of them specifically but they left him on edge. I suggested that he stay and sleep a bit longer but he assured me that a morning spent riding through the grounds and being active would suit him better. I hadn't seen him since then though and had been more than a little worried about him.

"Better. Not one-hundred percent but definitely better than I was this morning." I could see that he was being honest. His eyes were a little less lost and his smile didn't seem so forced.

I ran my hands up and down his arms, the urge to undress him right in the middle of my office just to feel his warm skin on mine almost unbearable. Nothing like budget meetings to get me in the mood. "I managed to convince Brice to take some of my work off of my hands tonight so that we can have a date night," I informed him. "I don't want any more bad thoughts haunting you when we go to bed tonight."

"No offense, but I'm not sure you can really help that."

"Did you take any of your medicine?" Dr. Ashlar had prescribed Eikko with some anxiety medication but it was only to be taken in instances that he felt he had no control over his worry and it was hindering his ability to function.

"No. I don't like it. It makes me feel all fuzzy and out of it. I'll just stick with my beautiful fiancée as my medication."

The grandfather clock in the corner of my office bonged and I pouted. "Well, your beautiful fiancée needs to get moving or she'll be late to a very important budget meeting. Are you sure you're okay to go to this meeting for planning the summit events?"

"I'm fine. Gavril and Raelynn completely understand." My wedding dress debacle with Raelynn was all but forgotten, especially with three – now two, thanks to my father – large-scale palace events looming on the horizon. It was best for me to not be at odds with my event planner.

"Thank you so much for planning this for me. You have no idea how big of a help it is."

He bowed dramatically. "I am happy to serve my queen." He checked his watch. "Now get out, before the advisers accuse you of being a petulant teenager who can't show up to her own meetings."

"Ouch," I gasped, not taking a single word to heart. I knew he was joking. Sometimes he liked to kid about our age difference and the fact that he was an adult while I was still considered a teenager by Illéan law. A teenager with an army and nuclear weapons at her disposal, but still a teenager. We were still sharing a teasing smile when we parted ways in the hallway, going in opposite directions to our respective meetings.

Lady Brice took her seat on my right, her customary place at our table for meetings that Eikko didn't attend. "I have a challenge for you today," she said, arranging her pens in front of her meticulously.

"Oh boy," I said nervously.

"I want you to get through this meeting without strong-arming at any of the advisers." I paused, trying to keep my jaw from dropping. "Just hear me out, okay? I get it, you're trying to assert your authority but you've done it. They listen to you. They don't necessarily respect you though. Just look at them."

I did. I watched them all enter the room in staggered groups, each of them bowing to me as they entered but not really meeting my eyes. A thick tension hung over the room and the advisers did look nervous. They seemed so beaten and worn-down. Had I done this to them? I'd had my fair share of arguments with them during meetings and had come out on top with nearly all of them. Brice could just happen to be right on this. "But what do I do? I don't want them to tell me no."

"Just listen to them. You may be the reigning monarch and sovereign of this country right now, but these men are here to advise you. You have to let them do their jobs. Without them, you're on your own and you'll be surprised how quickly the country will crash and burn if you are on your own ruling. That's how dictatorships happen. The only way to do it all on your own is to be a controller. You don't want to be a controller."

The last adviser arrived then, meaning that I had to start the meeting. It went about as well as you could expect. The first half of the meeting just consisted of general updates on the budgets for multiple projects and events happening simultaneously and approvals to continue financing them. That alone took two hours. I barely spoke in that time aside from approving and asking for specific details on projects. Finally we got to the second half of the meeting where we discussed upcoming projects, my aid initiative primarily.

"Your Majesty, I must advise you that while we can fund this initiative for the next few months, something permanent will be slightly trickier," Mr. Rasmus said, reading over a spreadsheet.

I opened my mouth to tell him that no, this was going to be a staple in the country from now on, but I held my tongue. I was acutely aware of Brice giving me the side-eye, waiting to see how I would respond. This was going to be the moment where I show her how much I value her opinion. "What can go in order for us to make it permanent?" I asked him.

"There are a number of options. There's still a good amount left in the Selection funds since yours did not last very long. There are also some other initiatives we can put on hold for the time being."

"Which ones?" I was struggling to keep my tone neutral.

"Queen America's prodigious academies. The scholarships have been sending that budget through the roof lately—"

"So we decrease the amount of scholarships or take something else out of their budget. We don't need to strip them of all scholarships!" I exclaimed, leaning forward in my seat slightly.

Mr. Rasmus blinked at me and then slowly said, "That's just one of the things we would need to look at decreasing funds for if you want to go forward with this initiative."

I turned to focus on another financial adviser and asked, "Do we have any other options?"

"You could move Sir Kile's work from Bonita to Panama," he reported.

I shook my head. "No. He's in the middle of dozens of building projects. He can't just abandon them for the sake of Panama. As tempting as that is, it would be unfair to him," I added. I've been unfair to him enough already.

The adviser sighed. "These our are options, Your Majesty. Your parents' initiatives or Sir Kile."

God, I could have thrown my notepad across the room at that. I was so, so tired of having Kile being a choice in my royal affairs and having to deny him. I couldn't very well take away Kile's ability to fulfill his dreams after I booted him out of the palace with the single command of fulfilling those dreams. There had to be some other pile of money sitting around the palace, unused, waiting for a greater purpose. For a greater purpose. Dad. We can celebrate as a family along with our friends. Just no party. That way the hundreds of thousands dollars you would typically spend on it can be put elsewhere, for a greater purpose. Of course Mom had told him about the initiative. And who would know how much money I would need to make it happen better than my father, the very man who had spent the majority of his life pulling money out of thin air to make Mom's initiatives happen?

"What about the money being reserved for King Maxon's birthday party? The party has been cancelled so we have that whole budget. Not to mention the money we didn't use on his and Queen America's anniversary festivities. And isn't there anything left from my coronation budget? There's no reason to hold onto that. My coronation is over."

Mr. Rasmus frowned, clearly not pleased that I had managed to open up a third door. "I'm not sure we can use that money for something like diplomatic aid, Your Majesty."

"Why the hell not?" I demanded. "There's no stamp on that money saying that it can only be used for parties. It's not going to be used, so let's put it toward something good."

"What kind of message would it send for the king to leave Angeles during his birthday and not properly celebrate?"

I immediately gave up on Brice's challenge for me to be a calm and respectful queen because I really had tried and it clearly wasn't getting me anywhere. "What kind of message does it send for this nation's previous king to be celebrating and drinking hundred-dollar champagne while its citizens are starving and living in temporary shelters, trying to put their lives back together? What kind of message does that send?" With a deep breath to collect myself, I closed my folder and put the cap on my pen again. "Open up a base account using that extra money we discussed and contact the marketing team to start developing the design plans for this initiative. I want doctors and contractors in Panama by next week. That will conclude this meeting."

"But, Your Majesty, we have more matters to discuss—"

"Mr. Rasmus, take a two-percent cut from all other budgets for the next month and put it toward the initiative. I veto any other initiatives starting. This emergency aid program is our top priority right not and I will not have it any other way."

The advisers rushed to stand and bow as I exited the room, Lady Brice right on my heels. I didn't acknowledge her until we were safely behind the closed doors of my office. My skin crawled at the thought though. My office didn't really feel safe anymore. Not since finding out that Marid had been spying on us. What was I going to do though? Renovate the most used, most important room in the palace to erase the memory of him being there?

"That wasn't exactly what I meant when I told you to tone it down," Brice said, her voice hard. She had the ability to sound impossibly passive while she was angry, a chilling trait she shared with my father.

"What was I supposed to do?" I asked her, not in the mood to be reprimanded by her. "Sit back and let them terminate my proposed initiative before it's even born? Or kill my mother's hard-earned programs? That's her legacy. I would never compromise on her efforts just to move forward in building my own legacy."

"But you did it again! They're just trying to help you, Eadlyn. I get it, you want to help your people but you can't limit who the crown helps to just one province. Sometimes you have to step back and see the bigger picture of the world and your own affairs."

"I do see the bigger picture. I see that I need to help my people and that if I don't do something to improve their lives, there will be no reason for them to obey my commands and listen to me. Our economy will suffer without those jobs and without their hard work. So sorry if I'm trying to fix things in a way that you don't agree with but for now, I am the only ruler in this country and I am going to do what I think is best."

Exhaustion seeped deep into my bones, overwhelming me quickly. I didn't have the energy to argue with anyone anymore. I didn't have the energy to be queen. I just needed someone to either listen to me or tell me what to do. There was only one person in the palace that would give me that though.

For once, I had to wait for him. He was in a meeting that afternoon with Gavril, discussing upcoming public events and more importantly, Gavril's replacement. I would have loved to be part of the decision in who was going to replace him but the reality was that I didn't have the time for it. Eikko happily took it off my plate.

I twirled my heel around with my toes lazily, sitting on the edge of my bed. He finally walked through, smiling with his suit coat thrown over his shoulder. My breath hitched when I saw him. "Hello, my love," he greeted, setting his coat on the chest at the end of my bed. "Man, I've only known Gavril for a few months but I'm already mourning him. He made all of the scheduling today so simple and painless. And he knows you so well he obviously…what's wrong?" he finally asked, noticing that my smile wasn't exactly a smile.

I opened my mouth to explain but I didn't have the words. There were no words for what I was feeling. How I felt like a prisoner in my own home due to Marid's intrusion and threats and how I felt like a child at work, despite being one of the most powerful people in the world. But I couldn't explain any of that to him. "Do you ever feel like you have absolutely no choice in what you do, ever? To the point where you start to kind of believe that you're incapable of making your own decisions?" I asked him, feeling tears sting my eyes.

"What can I do?" he asked, sitting beside me and taking my hands in his.

I leaned over to kiss him hungrily, our lips connecting for several minutes. I eventually pulled away just enough to say, "I need to do something on my own. I need to have one thing that's mine and mine alone."

"Okay."

"Anything?"

"Anything," he vowed.

I nodded and a nervous laugh bubbled out of me. "Make love to me, Eikko," I whispered.

My heart was pounding so loudly in my ears that I nearly didn't hear him respond. "Okay," he breathed out. His nose brushed mine and I laughed again, this time with more anticipation than nerves. "Okay," he repeated, laughing with me. And he did just as I asked. He let me lead and be in control, obeying my every command, even the ones that made me blush so much that I couldn't even voice out loud. Our souls settled on the same plane that night, connecting us in a whole new way. We were one person, one heart, one mind. I realized that I never really knew what it was like to be so cherished by another human before Eikko treated me with the utmost respect and gentility in that one night. I really felt it that night. Part of me rose up and came alive while the quieter, more timid side of me died. And I knew then that this was it, this was forever. This was perhe.

I practically skipped to my office the next morning. Eikko and I barely were able to part ways in the morning. Breakfast was not as awkward as it could have been since Mom and Dad were both absent, meaning that there was no one there to draw any conclusions from our secretive smiles back and forth. Kaden watched us closely but he kept his mouth shut, because he's clearly the most intelligent in the family.

Eikko and I ducked into a safe room and kissed passionately for several minutes before we decided that we had to be responsible and attend to our jobs. It only took a few moments of separation for me to start planning the next time I could see him. I was viciously hungry for his presence and his touch. I was about to crawl out of my own skin, I was so uncomfortable.

The office was quiet as I read through the list of items we wanted to officially include in the constitution and give it a final approval before the summit. I had read probably fifty different versions of this list but it had to be just right. Different items had to be general enough to blanket several different areas of society while others had to be impossibly detailed and specific to avoid confusion. As annoying as it was to pour over these lists, though, I knew that it would make the summit move much more easily if we already had items on the table for what we were including.

It was eleven o'clock when I started to get nervous about the lack of advisers. Not even Lady Brice or General Leger. The guards were all still there, posted outside my door but they looked worried.

"Being queen wouldn't be enough to convince you two to break your vow of silence for confidentiality with General Leger, would it?" I asked them, crossing my arms. Even though I was nervous, part of me was still floating on Cloud Nine and dreaming about the feel of Eikko's hands on…I coughed and tried to ignore the blush I knew was spreading across my chest and on my cheeks.

"No, Your Majesty," one of the guards answered.

"Right. And I don't suppose you two could give me any inclination as to what has the advisers all hiding today?"

They exchanged a confused look and then the same guard asked, "You don't know, ma'am?"

"Know what?"

"We thought someone would have told you by now. Your brothers were told during their lessons after breakfast," the other guard said.

"Well, everyone is a bit preoccupied right now. The king did say for everyone to go," the older-looking guard told him.

I had to cut in. "The king? What did my father have to say? Why did he send everyone home?"

"For privacy, ma'am." I frowned, still confused. "It's your mother. She's in the hospital."