AN: Okay, first I want to thank everyone for the reviews and everything else. It means a ton! Second, since I am going to tell you of my major bad luck and extreme naivety, I am going to make this chapter four hundred instead of two hundred words, and it is going to be from Alice's POV (which everyone keeps requesting). Yay for fun double chapters!

So for my whining…well, it is going to explain why this chapter was also posted so late. Blech. I have a good excuse this time though. It's totally legit. Okay, so I do cross country and track (I say that way too much, don't I?), and even though I'm on vacation I still have to go out and run. Because of that, my grandma keeps trying to wake me up at six in the morning to go running. Considering how lazy you all know I am you can understand why that doesn't go over too well. So instead I told her I was going to run at night…well, the evening. So I set out at eight thirty for my half hour run. Why? Because I am incredibly stupid. I wanted to listen to music, so I put my ipod in my sports bra. I thought it was a great idea. It turned out to be a horrible idea. Why? Because people kept staring at my "third boob" and wondering what kind of mutant I was. Oh, and that's not all. I was on the sidewalk like a good person, and then I had to skid to a stop to keep myself from stepping on a snake. A red-brown snake with the lashing out tongue and everything. You think that's it? Nope. Then I had the privilege of bats flying over my head and in my face and bugs eating me alive and finding my eye to be a good resting place. Let me just tell you now, I won't be running at night in Florida anymore.

Now since you had to read that (even though most of you probably skipped it), you can see where some of my crazy crack-inspiration comes from. Anyway, on with the fun double chapter!

Alice POV

I had convinced Renesmee to get back in my car—though I don't know why she was reluctant to ride in it in the first place—and all she did for twenty minutes straight was twitch and shriek whenever there was the slightest noise. I got pretty pissed pretty quickly.

"QUIT THE RACKET!" I screamed, banging the top of the car with my fist like old woman do with brooms on their apartment ceilings. "QUIT IT! QUIT IT! QUIT IT!"

Renesmee froze for a moment, going completely still. I swore, she was so weird. One minute she was all fidgety and the next she became an ice cube just because I screamed at the top of my lungs at her. I mean, who does that? She's just a weirdo.

"Uh…" she finally got out.

Really? She was that surprised? She was acting like an alcoholic drinking at an AA meeting. Yes, she was that twitchy. "Come on, Nessie. Spit it out. Now. I'm tired of you having a half seizure next to me. Oh, and can I mention that it's been going on for about twenty minutes? Yeah, it has become pretty annoying. Now spiiiiiiiiit it out!"

"Well…I'm not really comfortable riding in your car with a bunch of mutated birds," she murmured quietly, shifting back and forth again, her discomfort obvious.

"Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeell no," I snapped, waving my finger back and forth.

She leaned back in shock once again, her eyes looking like sunny side-up eggs…except…well, they were eyes not eggs. "Uh…Alice."

"Don't you 'uh…Alice' me," I shrieked, my anger finally getting to me. "Here I have this crappy wrecked car for you to ride in, and all you do is complain. How ungrateful!" For emphasis I pointed to the holes in the side of the back seat and the crack in the rear windshield. "This is a beautifully destroyed car, and you need to keep your little twisted thoughts to yourself. My birds are wonderful, and you need to live with it."

Renesmee remained shocked for a moment, looking from left to right nervously, her eyes darting like mad. "Uh…Alice…I mean, Alice, that was…uh…okay. Okay, I'll stop complaining. Tell me one thing though, okay?"

"What's that?" I questioned eagerly, smiling perkily since she was finally deciding to calm down and stop her nonsense. She really was being impractical. Who gets freaked out by birds that have scrambled genes anyway? Yeah, that's right. No one. Well…no one I know except Renesmee that is…oh, and that policeman…and that person the other day…oh and there was that…wait…never mind, this isn't helping!

"Those birds are secure right? I mean, they're not going to hurt anybody are they?" she asked. I knew from her tone she was determined to get an answer.

"Of course not!" I said cheerily, waving her off.

Well, one little white lie won't hurt her will it?