Tasting success
Kouki's ears tingled with a foreign sound coming from right behind him that brought him back from his floaty bliss. He glanced towards the direction of the sound and found Akashi laughing softly, his ruby eyes shimmering with amusement, his normally pale cheeks lightly dusted with a rosey pink color. He was halfheartedly covering his mouth with one hand, apparently trying to quiet down his laughter. He'd never seen Akashi laugh before, not during their three years in high school or the last month that they'd been studying together. Smiling, albeit discreetly, a handful of times, but laughing out loud? It was a new side of Akashi Seijuurou that Kouki had never seen before, and it was pretty cute. He also couldn't remember ever thinking Akashi could be 'cute' before. Intimidating, definitely, handsome, no doubt, interesting, of course, a little bit strange from time to time and funny on occasion, but never 'cute'. Well, there's a first time for everything, he told himself, allowing for Akashi's merriment to infect him. He had already been over the moon with happiness, getting the chance to see his favorite team live, but the evening just kept getting better and better by the minute. It was hard to believe in the past two hours he'd seen the Dragonflies take the Nationals, been able to personally meet and shake hands with his idol Aikawa, get autographs from everyone in the team and bared witness to Akashi-kun's laughter. Could this evening get any better?
Kouki was practically skipping as they made it back to the parking lot, his fingers tightly clutching the fabric of his autographed t-shirt. His nervousness returned just a little when he had to climb back into the very expensive car that he was terrified of damaging.
"So, got any ideas of what you want for dinner?"
Akashi turned to look at him, apparently confused by the question. "I was just about to ask you the same thing."
Kouki giggled lightly. He had kind of expected this to happen. "No way. Akashi-kun already brought me to watch the best game ever from the best location and I even got to shake Aikawa-san's hand, no way am I gonna be choosing dinner, it's your turn."
Akashi did not seem too pleased by this. "The reason for this outing was to repay you for all the assistance you have given me the past month and the positive results I achieved thanks to it. It stands to reason that I take you to dine somewhere you like."
This time it was Kouki who was unamused. He pouted and crossed his arms above his chest. "Akashi-kun, I could tutor you for the next hundred years and never compensate for how amazing tonight was. Don't be stubborn about this or I'll get angry. There are a lot of places to eat around here, just tell me what you'd like and I'll get us to some place we can eat it."
Akashi gripped the steering wheel, his discomfort apparently growing. Kouki briefly wondered if he was pushing him too hard, but he wasn't willing to back down on this. He couldn't let Akashi one-sidedly shower him with kindness and attentions. Maybe he should change his approach.
"I heard from Mibuchi-san that Akashi-kun likes tofu soup. There's a really nice place close-by where they serve many different tofu dishes. I've always wanted to try it, how's that sound?"
Finally, Akashi hummed in approval, his cheeks taking a light reddish color. "Yes that… I have heard of this place too, it has a … good reputation. We can… yes, we can go there if you want to."
Kouki rolled his eyes, glad that his strategy had worked. The thought that maybe Akashi would've preferred a fancier, much more expensive place crossed his mind. Kouki was determined on paying for dinner, but the place he'd thought of was already challenging his budget, if Akashi had chosen some luxurious place Kouki wouldn't have known what to do. Perhaps it had been for the best that he'd sort of chosen their dinner place in the end. But then he wondered briefly if maybe he should insist on Akashi choosing a place. He didn't know how delicate Akashi's spoiled palate was. What if he didn't like the food? Or worse, what if it made him sick? Kouki panicked briefly, already feeling mortified by the prospect. It was the first time he went out with Akashi-kun and he was already so troubled. He just didn't want to be the kind of guy that always relied on his rich friend's money. He knew Akashi-kun didn't mean it, but every time he demonstrated his superior social status, Kouki felt self-conscious and inadequate, like he was being condescended to. Like he didn't belong in Akashi-kun's world. He was overthinking, he knew, but he couldn't push those thoughts away.
"Is something the matter, Furihata? Would you prefer we dine somewhere else?"
Akashi's concerned voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He shook his head a little bit too fast, making himself slightly dizzy. "No, not at all. Ah, but if Akashi-kun would like to go to a fancier place that'd be fine." He didn't know why he'd said that, but now that he had there was no taking it back. Well, he could live on instant ramen for a few months if he could make Akashi-kun enjoy a nice dinner. Although in retrospect, a place fancy enough to suit an Akashi's stature would probably surpass by far the amount of money in his wallet. Oh well, he could always volunteer as a dishwasher and spend the next ten years paying his debt.
To his surprise, Akashi too shook his head. "Absolutely not. You were correct in that I do quite like tofu soup. If I had any inclination towards more refined food I would not eat the cafeteria menus, I assure you. Of course, if you would prefer a more elegant place, I would be glad to comply. I could easily get us a table anywhere you like, I would not mind that."
Normally, Kouki would've felt self-conscious from Akashi's comment. It was a little bit intimidating to think an ordinary guy like himself who could barely sustain his monthly expenses was suddenly hanging out with a guy who implied he could get a table in Japan's most prestigious eateries with just a phone call and his status. It definitely felt like they belonged in different worlds. But for some reason, this one time all he could do was laugh heartily.
"Akashi-kun, aren't we going in circles with this discussion?" he said, more a rhetorical comment than an actual question.
The car came to a halt and Akashi turned to look at him, a little bit puzzled, but after a few seconds, a twinkle of mirth seemed to reach his eyes and slightly curve his lips upwards.
"I believe we are."
They both laughed for a good minute, and Kouki was glad he got to hear Akashi-kun's laughter twice in the same night. Finally, Akashi recovered his composure and pointed outside of Kouki's window.
"It seems we have arrived in our destination."
Seijuurou got off the car and walked around to open Kouki's door. He offered his hand and helped Kouki out of the car, the mirth from laughing still bubbling in his stomach. If Reo asked him he wouldn't be able to explain it, but it was now undeniable that he greatly enjoyed Kouki's company. He could probably count the amount of times he'd laughed so openly about something so meaningless with the fingers of his two hands, and he'd done it twice tonight. Like Reo had suggested, he was trying not to overthink everything, and was actually having a lot of fun. This evening would be a memorable one for sure.
Kouki's fingers briefly grazed his as he stepped down from the car. The contact sent light tingles through his hand and a gentle warmth to his bloodstream, spreading it all over his body. This seemed to happen every time his skin touched Kouki's. He didn't understand why it happened, but he wasn't going to complain either. It was natural, simple and pleasant.
The restaurant was packed full of people. Many were wearing SunRockers shirts and argued loudly, complaining about their teams' defeat. Seijuurou worried some of them would attack Kouki for wearing the shirt of the opposing team, but Kouki himself seemed completely unaware of it as they found a free table near the back. A very overworked-looking waiter approached them and took their orders before dashing away. The game probably meant a good business night for the restaurant, but it also meant it would be hectic and difficult to tend to all the customers.
They found themselves submerged in a sort of comfortable silence, even though the other clientele was extremely noisy. Kouki was still exploring the menu, as if searching for something else that might catch his eye, and Seijuurou was fine just observing him. He noticed Kouki's eyes would go over the left side of the menu first. He didn't need to check the menu to know what was happening: Kouki was checking the prices first. Seijuurou wanted to point out that he would pay for anything Kouki wanted, but perhaps the offer would just put more pressure on Kouki. He decided to bring that up after they ate.
"Have you been here before?" he found himself asking instead, wishing to learn more about Furihata and enjoy the pleasant mood that was surrounding them.
Kouki shook his head. "Not really, but I've heard a lot of reccommendations. Always wanted to try it." He replied sheepishly, finally putting the menu away. The waiter arrived with a jar of cool green tea and handed them two cups filled to the brim before he placed the jar in the centre of the table. "How about you?" Kouki asked, smiling as he sipped his tea, apparently pleased by its coolness.
"It is my first time too." He said simply. It was not the kind of exclusive high-end restaurants he frequented on his business meetings, but it was the most reputed tofu restaurant in the area, so he'd been wanting to try it out for some time too.
Their food arrived shortly after, so they went back to the comfortable silence from before. Seijuurou's dish was quite delicious, it definitely lived up to its reputation and even exceeded it.
"Ah, how's your food, Akashi-kun?" Kouki asked, looking up at him with expectation.
Seijuurou felt his lips naturally pulled upwards into a smile. "It is truly outstanding, I am certainly not disappointed. How about yours?"
Kouki beamed. "It's delicious! I'd never tried cheese tofu before, but this is great! Wanna have some?" he asked, holding a piece of tofu with his chopsticks and reaching out in his direction. Seijuurou felt his face warming at the gesture, and without thinking too much about it, he wrapped his lips around the offered food. It was indeed delicious, the taste mild and delicate. Kouki kept glancing at him, apparently nervous about his judgement.
"This one is delightful too. Coming here was a very good choice."
Kouki's face brightened with relief. It occurred to him that maybe Kouki had been worried that his so-called refined palate would not enjoy an unexceptional meal. Why would he think that, Seijuurou didn't know. They had been sharing the outstandingly average cafeteria meals twice a week for the past month, and yet Kouki was still concerned about his tastes. Whatever it was, he was pleased to see Kouki so relieved.
When they were finished with their main dishes, the waiter brought a list of available desserts.
"Oh! I didn't even know you could make tiramisu with tofu, I wonder what that's like! Sounds super fancy!" Kouki mused, glancing at the menu with curiosity.
"You should order one, I am sure it will not disappoint."
Kouki put the menu away, as if he was ashamed of letting that comment slip. He scratched the back of his head, looking quite troubled. "Ahhh, I think I'm too full for that, maybe some other time."
Seijuurou sighed. "If it is alright with you, we could order one and share it." he offered.
"Oh, that's a great idea!" Kouki replied cheerfully, and they called the waiter to place the order. The dessert didn't take long to arrive.
"Woah, this really looks super fancy!" Kouki commented as he picked up a piece of the pastry with a spoon and ate it. His eyes sparkled. "Ooooh, it's really, really delicious! You should try it too, Akashi-kun!"
Seijuurou complied and took a spoonful of the dessert. It was sweet, but not too much, and it had a soft, light texture. His stomach felt warm with the revelation of this magnificent dessert, and he immediately set to get another spoonful. Except that his spoon clinked against Furihata's and made a slight splatter of the dessert over the tablecloth. Seijuurou looked up to find Furihata blushing a deep crimson and retreating his own spoon immediately.
"I'm sorry, Akashi-kun, I was very careless and now you even got your shirt dirty!" he squeaked, mortified. Seijuurou looked down and saw that his sleeve had indeed gotten mildly splattered with the white substance. He dropped his spoon and grabbed a napkin to clean it. "I'll pay for the drycleaners, I'm truly sorry!" Kouki continued.
"Please do not apologize, it's nothing." He assured. The stain was barely even noticeable, the dry cleaning wouldn't really be costly. "I was not paying attention either. This dessert is very delicious, so if you continue agonizing over this, I will eat it all."
Kouki blushed slightly but his lips curled into a small, hesitant smile. "I-I like this too, I won't let Akashi-kun have it all." He declared, snatching a piece with his spoon and eating it with feigned defiance in his chocolate eyes.
Seijuurou chuckled. "We shall see about that." He said, and he too took another bite of the pastry, enjoying the light, flavorful feeling it left behind in his mouth. And yet he wasn't half as delighted with it as he was with the joyful glow of Kouki's expression.
As they climbed up the stairs to Kouki's dormitory, Seijuurou was dragging his feet, and he was very much aware of it. Just like he had been driving almost painfully slowly on the way back from the restaurant. He had worried that Kouki would notice and be irritated by it, but not a word of complaint was uttered. Instead, Kouki had continued to gush about how exciting the game had been, recounting it almost play-by-play. Seijuurou hadn't added much to the conversation, satisfied with relishing in Kouki's exhilaration.
It had been the right decision to allow Kouki to pay for their dinner. He had been ready to insist on the contrary when the check arrived –especially seeing how Kouki's fingers trembled as he reached for his wallet- but his thoughts had been interrupted before he could even open his mouth to voice them.
"If Akashi-kun even thinks of offering to pay for this I'll be very upset." Kouki had said, his voice leveled, and when Seijuurou had looked into his eyes, he'd known that this was important for him, that 'upset' was a heavy understatement of how he would truly feel. He didn't understand why it mattered so much (he would have to ask Reo later), but he'd decided to surrender right away. He could not allow for such a trifle matter to ruin what had so far been a perfect evening.
"That is the last thing I could possibly wish for." He had responded, laying both palms over the now empty table. "The purpose of this outing was to please you after all, and it would be a waste of such an outstanding dessert if the evening were to end on a sour note." He congratulated himself for being able to produce such a long sentence without losing his voice. The other goal of this 'date' was, after all, to get more acquainted with Kouki and to grow more comfortable to speak with him without making a fool out of himself.
Kouki had been obviously pleased with this quick concession (even as it was evident how reluctant he was to part with his money), and it carried on the drive back to the dorm buildings, which made Seijuurou seriously consider taking the long route back. But he also knew it would not do to test his luck too far or risk overstaying his welcome, so to speak. Kouki had a curfew, and Seijuurou knew how much he disliked troubling others, so even if he personally had the connections to make said curfew invalid, it was likely to cause Kouki discomfort, and Seijuurou would not allow for that to happen. Still, he could not help wanting to prolong their time together, even if it was by just a couple of minutes. What a troublesome contradiction, wanting to spend more time with someone, yet knowing this could possibly upset them, the complete opposite of what he wanted.
"Ah, this is it." Kouki said suddenly, in the middle of his third retelling of Aikawa's amazing final play.
Seijuurou looked up to find a door with the numbers 304 and two name plates to the side. One of them had Kouki's name, and the other one, Seijuurou didn't care to read. Kouki's name was, after all, too lovely to take his eyes off it.
"Did you know," he heard himself say, his brain not filtering the words before they left his mouth, his fingers tracing over the kanji on the nameplate "that originally, in Chinese, this 'ki' could also mean 'to grow' or 'to cultivate'? If you think about it then, Kouki could also mean 'to cultivate light'."
As soon as he finished digging his own grave, he wished he could launch himself off the nearest balcony. Why, why on Earth would he trust himself to speak his mind in this situation? He had now positively ruined everything by picking a too personal subject –and what could possibly be more personal than someone's given name?- and simultaneously evidencing the depths of his fascination. If he were half as absolute as he'd once thought himself to be, surely he could will himself to disappear from the surface of the Earth, never to inconvenience Kouki again with this shameful infatuation.
"I-I didn't know that." Kouki said, his voice thin, and Seijuurou noticed he was fidgeting with his fingers nervously. Oh how he loathe himself in this moment.
"I-I… Forgive me, that was o-out of place of me to say, I am… t-truly sorry."
Kouki waved his hands frantically in response. "N-no, no, it's okay!" he was trying so hard not to be rude, for sure, as a form of polite consideration for Seijuurou's feelings. It warmed his heart to know that, just as much as it made him feel even guiltier about his misstep "I… I think that's… beautiful." Bright crimson roses had blossomed on his cheeks, a most lovely sight for sure. "T-thanks for telling me, Akashi-kun."
Seijuurou's throat was dry. He wished to apologize even more profusely, but now he wasn't sure if it would be appropriate. Was Kouki truly pleased with what he had told him? Seijuurou couldn't fathom why he would be, but the shy smile on his lips seemed genuine. And, probably as punishment for growing too confident, he was now unable to even think of a single word to say. His heart was thundering loudly in his chest, too loudly. Kouki was probably able to hear it too at this point.
"I wonder if my parents knew, uhm… I mean I've always thought of asking them why they didn't just use a regular 'tree' for my name, would've been a lot easier to learn how to write it." He chuckled lightly. "Ah, my roommate isn't here, would you like to come in?"
As if there was not enough turmoil in Seijuurou's head, now he was also presented with an unspeakably tempting opportunity. His wish of enjoying Kouki's company for just a little longer was now within his reach, and with the offer of a quiet, intimate environment that could certainly help cultivate (perhaps not the most fortunate choice of word in this moment) the budding relationship he was trying to build with Kouki. And yet…
"I quite appreciate the kindness, but I would not wish to impose on you any longer, lest you grow tired of my company." He couldn't risk another mistake. He had been lucky in that his latest blunder had not upset Kouki, but there was no guarantee of such luck going forward. With his mind in such disarray, the smartest move was to retreat and regroup; end the evening on a positive note and start preparing for their next encounter. Perhaps he was going against Reo's advice of letting himself follow the flow, but that had proved a dangerous game to play. He would rather take smaller, safe steps, than making a grand leap and risk losing his footing.
"Ah, that's okay. I- I don't think Akashi-kun's imposing at all but I guess it is kinda late. Ah, this place is also really cramped, I guess that wouldn't be comfortable at all, sorry." Kouki seemed disappointed. Seijuurou was puzzled by that, but he could not find the words to inquire. "Uhm, thanks a lot for today, I really never thought I'd see the Dragonflies take the championship with my own two eyes, and it was awesome!" the joyful sparkle took over Kouki's features again, to Seijuurou's pleasure.
"I am glad to know you enjoyed yourself, as I did so too." Studying stock phrases had definitely been the best decision he could have ever made.
"M-maybe we could d-do something like this some other time?"
Seijuurou's heart leaped to the base of his throat. It seemed Kouki had a talent for putting him in situations for which he had no stock phrases ready. Kouki looked nervous, but hopeful, and Seijuurou's brain was racing, trying to find an answer for this question (he knew the answer, it was an obvious one), but he was at a complete loss for words. He tried to remember what Reo had told him to do when he suffered from one of these Kouki-induced lapsus of stupidity (for there was no other way to describe his absolute inability to think straight), but that too, eluded him. His body temperature was rising, and he momentarily feared he would be unable to end this date on a positive note, since Kouki would have to take him to the hospital, lest he combusted on the spot. Then he remembered instantaneous combustion was but a ridiculous folly, as absurd and embarrassing as the absolute void in his brain.
"Uhm, sorry, I guess I'll see you on Tuesday? If you still want me to tutor you."
How Seijuurou detested himself. Kouki was now certain he had rejected his proposal, when all he wanted was to accept it. Oh, that was the word.
"No, no,no, I, yes, a-a-accept."
Seijuurou didn't even dare look at Kouki now. His expression must be of absolute puzzlement. For sure, if someone would ever write the annals of incompetent communication throughout human history, this moment of his life would be featured amongst the most prominent ones.
"I would be, ah, delighted. T-to do this again, I mean, yes, to have another evening like tonight. And to be tutored by you too. On Tuesday, absolutely."
Instantly, the tension seemed to leave Kouki's body. Seijuurou was relieved that his otherwise unacceptable attempts at forming full sentences had at least had this positive effect.
"Okay, Tuesday same as always." Kouki confirmed, smiling once again.
As his eyes found Kouki's lips, basking in the beauty of their curve, he remembered something Reo had told him amongst the many pieces of advice he'd given him for tonight.
"Depending on how it goes and if you eventually figure out that what you're doing is basic flirting, you could even try to kiss him."
"Kiss him?"
"Yeah, like in the movies? After a delightful and romantic date, you accompany your beloved to their doorstep, and as you reluctantly say your goodbyes, you give them a soft, tender kiss and you'll both be thinking of it until you go to sleep? It's a cliché because it works."
At the moment he'd found the idea completely outrageous. He couldn't possibly kiss Kouki if he wasn't even sure of his own feelings and desires. Not to mention how rude it would be to kiss someone without their permission. He was also slightly ashamed to admit he had never kissed anyone before, and therefore, any memorable quality a kiss could have would only be negative. But at this moment, standing barely a step away from Kouki, entranced by the beauty of his smile, he felt himself itch for physicality. He could still feel the pressure of Kouki's fingers on his arm when the game had been at its climax, and the exhilarated embrace that had knocked the air out of his lungs, the rush of heat that had washed over his body, and how his skin had tingled, even through the fabric of their clothes. He wanted that sensation again. Maybe not a kiss, as that would be terribly inappropriate, but if only he could graze Kouki's crimson cheek with his fingers, maybe parting ways would not be as hard.
"Uhm, are you-"
It was at that moment that his eyes caught a small, almost insignificant trace of tiramisu on the corner of Kouki's lips. Surely it would be rude not to tell him about it and let him carry the blemish for the rest of the night, yet words continued to evade him. So he followed the only logical course of action and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to gently wipe the remnants of food. But the moment his finger made contact with Kouki's face –through the thin cloth, but contact nonetheless- a shock of electricity ran over his body and he inhaled sharply, feeling short of breath. Kouki gasped too, parting his lips slightly. Seijuurou allowed his thumb to linger on the edge of Kouki's mouth, but his index and middle fingers moved of their own accord, finding his jawline, finally with no fabric to get in the way of his desire to feel Kouki's skin on his.
Breathe, he tried to tell himself when he started feeling lightheaded, but the beating of his heart was so tempestuous his lungs seemed unable to draw any oxygen in. If he allowed his fingers to move just a few millimeters more, he'd be able to feel Kouki's pulse. Was Kouki's heart beating as tumultuously as his? He ached to know. Yet, he dared not take that extra step, nor could he bring himself to gaze upon Kouki's eyes, scared to find fear or rejection in them. He was too aware of the boundaries he was overstepping after all, but he was as unable of pulling back as he was of breathing now.
A shaky exhale came from Kouki's mouth, his warm breath ghosting over Seijuurou's hand, and that sensation was enough to make his brain reconnect with his arm so he could pull it away. His fingers tingled, as if begging for more contact. For sure his hand would be numb for the rest of the night.
"I…" he swallowed thickly. He would strongarm some words out of his throat if he had to, he could not possibly allow for this nonsense to continue. "Forgive me, there was something on your face." He showed him the handkerchief, with the truly insignificant stain of brown powder to back up his statement.
"O-oh, thanks, I hadn't noticed."
Heavy silence hung over them. Seijuurou's heart was still threatening to fracture his ribs with its loud, violent pulsations.
"It is getting quite late, I should be leaving now." He heard himself say without thinking.
"Ah, yeah, you're right, it's been a long day, sorry for keeping you out so late."
"No, please do not apologize, I had not enjoyed myself quite so much in a very long time."
Ah, another misstep. He truly needed to make himself scarce as soon as possible before he accidentally blurted just how captivated he was by Kouki –if all his blunders in the last few minutes had not given that away yet-.
Unexpectedly, Kouki perked up, and his lips curled in a wide, cheerful grin. "Really? Me too!"
Seijuurou's heart swelled. For a moment, he could swear Kouki was surrounded by stars and flowers and sparkles.
"Thanks a lot for today, Akashi-kun. See you on Tuesday!"
"Yes, Tuesday." He managed to reply, even if his voice was hardly recognizable.
"And uhm… good night."
"For you as well. I hope you have pleasant dreams."
"Ah yes, thanks, Akashi-kun too."
There was another moment of heavy silence before Seijuurou took a reluctant step back and turned away from the door, his stomach aching the moment he could no longer lay eyes on Kouki's figure. He allowed himself one last moment of weakness as he tilted his head back to find Kouki smiling and waving at him faintly as he closed the door. He nodded in acknowledgement and then demanded that his body started moving away before he could embarrass himself any further.
The walk back to his own bedroom was short, for the whole time his mind was preoccupied revisiting all the smiles Kouki had graced him with, relishing in the way his heartrate accelerated when he recalled the feeling of Kouki's warmth, committing to memory the sensation of touching him, reminiscing the adrenaline that pumped through his veins when infected by Kouki's enthusiasm. There was no question about his feelings anymore, and in that regard too, this evening had been a success, even if his pride had been severely damaged by his own ridiculous awkwardness. He thought briefly of calling Reo to fill him in on the details and ask for further assistance, but he decided against it, choosing instead to bask in how wonderful tonight had been until sleep took over him.
To be continued
Is2g that tofu restaurant exists and is pretty famous and it's in the Shibuya area, not that far from the Yoyogi Gym where the JBL games take place, but I didn't write down the name and now I've forgotten it. Never been to it though, can't give any worthwhile commentary on whether the food is actually good or not. This has been your weekly dose of worthless details that nobody cares about.
I probably had more to say but today's been… rough and I'm just not feeling it, but I'd promised with my immortal soul that I was gonna update this today so here it is. Please let me know what you think, I hope you guys enjoy it. Your comments would mean a lot to me right now.