PTA

It was more difficult than Shepard thought to keep herself from repeatedly slamming her forehead into the desk at which she sat. One of the mums in the front row of the class room was currently speaking about the importance of being involved in your child's studies. They're in preschool. She thought to herself. Their education consists of learning 'Mary had a little lamb'.

Next to her, ever so calm, Thane had his hands clasped in front of him and seemed to listen to the woman's every word. But he didn't give a shit and was just as bored as she was. At least she hoped so. If he raised his hand to offer to bake muffins for a bloody bake sale, he was sleeping on the sofa for the next month.

This was ridiculous. She had told Harbinger to go and stuff it, she had spoken with the reapers' creators, connected to the geth consensus, defeated Saren, gone through the Omega-4 relay, yet it was a PTA meeting at her daughter's pre-school that was going to send her into a frenzy. She wanted to slap these stuck-up, know-it-all mothers who gave her strange looks because of her facial scars and because of Thane. She also wanted to slap the fathers with their suits and bank jobs that made subtle, but obvious racists remarks towards Thane.

It's because of us you can all sit here and talk about the fucking brownies. Shepard thought to herself and couldn't keep herself from letting out a frustrated sigh. Thane's hand slid around her wrist and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Calm yourself." He whispered. "And I'll make sure this is worth your while."

"Oh?" Shepard quirked an eyebrow and grinned. "Really now?"

Unfortunately, she was then distracted from hearing what Thane had planned by the annoying kiss-ass mother in the front row.

"...and I think we should introduced the children to alien cultures." She said in that annoying voice. "After all, we want them to become rounded human beings."

"That's a lovely idea!" Mrs. Brown exclaimed and her eyes drifted to the odd couple in the back. "Perhaps Miyo can do a presentation on drell culture?"

"Miyo knows as much about drell culture as your kids do." Shepard said and tried to keep her voice civil. "She's lived on Earth her whole life."

"But she has a drell father."Annoying-mum said.

"I am very aware of that." Shepard couldn't stop herself.

"Then perhaps - sorry, what was your name again?" She had turned to Thane now.

"Thane." Her beloved said, as civil as ever. "And, I could certainly do a presentation on drell culture and customs."

Shepard shot him a hard gaze. He was so going to sleep on the sofa. At least he hadn't dragged her into this. She certainly wasn't going to hold some kind of presentation in front of twenty five year olds who would much rather be outside, making sand castles.

"Maybe we should do some research ourselves on this culture before we let our children learn about it." Some smug suit-dad interjected. "In case there are any, y'know, non kid friendly customs."

"Drell live on Kahje, with the hanar. They are excessively polite and kind." Thane explained calmly. "Very few things in our culture could be described as unpleasant."

Maybe the compact should be left out of it. Shepard thought. She barely managed to bit back a smile as she imagined the faces of the parents around her if they knew about Thane's previous line of work. They'd probably shit themselves.

"Well, I think we need to make sure that our children aren't given a wrong idea about aliens."

Once more, Shepard had to keep herself from smacking her head into the desk.

The only positive thing about the PTA was the free coffee and pastries available after the torture. This was, after all, only the Krios couple's second PTA. They had kept Miyo home until this year.

"Do you want anything?" Shepard asked as she rose from her seat.

"If there's any fruit available, I'll have some of that."

"Of course." She pecked Thane on the lips before walking towards the cart with her rewards for being a nice veteran and not strangling anyone.

Shepard grabbed one of the flimsy paper plates and started plating things that look appealing. Some apple slices, a few biscuits, a cinnamon bun and some grapes. Even though they had lived on Earth since the end of the war, Thane was still a bit negative towards human food. It had too much sugar in it and made him feel jittery, he said.

After filling one cup with tea and the other with coffee, she made her way back to where Thane was sitting. She noticed that douche-mom had pulled up a chair and the man that sat beside her was probably her douche-husband.

"Thank you, siha." Thane said and took the tea from Shepard, cutting off douche-mom in the middle of a sentence.

Shepard took a seat beside Thane and brought her cup of coffee to her lips. It tasted like shit.

"I don't think we've met." Douche-mom said. She reminded Shepard a bit of Miranda. "I'm Julia Wallace and this is my husband, Stephen."

"Hello." Shepard said and shook their hands. "I'm Ripley."

"So..." Julia asked and tilted her head. "You're a veteran?"

"Erm..." Shepard reached up and touched the large scar that went from the bridge of her nose, down to her neck. "Yeah."

"So is Stephen. He fought alongside Commander Shepard when it was time to retake Earth." Julia puffed out her chest and Stephen just looked sheepish.

"Oh really?" Shepard said and Thane hid a chuckle behind his tea.

Most humans didn't remember what she looked like. It was years since her last public appearance. Her hair had been much shorter back then her scars had still been violently red. But now, her hair was long, her skin had a permanent tan, her scars had faded. Only people that had worked close with her knew what she looked like.

"I was so worried when he was out in the field." She placed her hand on his arm.

As she spoke, Stephen was looking at her with a small frown on his face. Oh shit, he's onto me. She couldn't help but think and quickly took a bite of a biscuits, as if that was going to distract him. Luckily, Thane was there to save her.

"Yes, I can relate." He said as he spun a grape between his slender fingers. "It was... Difficult to be confined to a planet while Ripley was out fighting. Knowing that at any time, a bullet could rip her away from me. It's nothing I wish to experience again."

"I feel like I know you from somewhere." Stephen said suddenly.

Oh crap.

"Well, I got around a bit during the war. It's likely we met somewhere." Shepard quickly said, avoiding the veteran's eyes.

A bit after she said that, his eyes widened and he leaned back in the chair. No, Shepard wasn't in the mood for this. If he asked for an autograph, she might just explode.

"You're Commander Shepard, aren't you?" His eyes were wide.

"Uh..." Shepard just said dumbly. "Technically I'm not a commander anymore. I've been honourably discharged due to my-"

"It's such an honour, commander." Stephen said, interrupting her explanation.

"It's an honour to meet you too." Shepard lied through a forced smile.

Next to Stephen, Julia looked like she had just smelled something really nasty. Poor thing had probably imagined how the odd couple in front of her would be in awe at her husband's feats in the military. However, very few, if any, soldier's track records could match Shepard's.