Intruder

"SHEPARD!"

The loud howl from the living room nearly made Shepard fall out of the bed. She flinched violently and the books she was reading nearly flew out of her hands. Immediately, she sat up straight and slid off the bed.

"BY THE GODS!" Kolyat's cried out and she heard his feet thump against the floor.

"What the fuck, Kolyat?" Shepard said as she jogged out into the living room to see her stepson standing on the sofa with wide eyes.

"There's a thing!" Kolyat pointed at something on the floor.

Shepard's head followed the drell's gaze and landed on a something on the floor. At first, she thought it was a rope. However, as it raised its head, its beady eyes fixed on her and hissed menacingly, she nearly flew up onto the sofa to stand next to Kolyat.

"It's a fucking snake." She said, her eyes just as wide as Kolyat's. "How the hell did it get in here?!"

The snake let out another hiss and slithered a few decimeters forward. A shiver went down Shepard's spine. She wasn't exactly scared of snakes, but she knew how venomous the species that lived around their house were and she sure as hell wasn't going to get close to it. She survived the reaper wars, she wasn't going to get killed by a pretentious worm.

"Do something." Kolyat demanded as another hiss filled the room.

"What am I supposed to do? You're the reptile, you do something."

"I don't have fangs." He huffed and placed a hand on Shepard's back, pushing her forward a bit.

Shepard had to flail her arms around a bit in order to stay on the sofa and not end up next to the pissed off living rope. Somehow, she managed to keep her balance and stay on the sofa.

"You're a little shit." She growled at Kolyat. "I'm going to feed you to it."

Thane grabbed the two bags of groceries from the car and slammed the door shut with his foot. It was his night to make dinner and he had absolutely no idea about what to make. He had bought a few different items and hoped that he would figure something out soon enough. He wanted to have it finished by the time Miyo came home from the friend she was at.

"I'm home!" He called out as he walked into the house that was quite a lot cooler than the outside.

"Thane, thank god!" Shepard's voice came from the living room.

There was worry in her voice and Thane immediately dropped the bags to hurry into the living room. Well there, he found Kolyat and Shepard on the sofa, starting at something on the floor.

"May I ask what is happening here?" The assassin asked.

"It's a fucking snake!" Shepard howled. "Get it OUT!"

As he followed their gaze, he noticed that there was, indeed, a snake on the floor just in front of the sofa. It was hissing at Shepard and Kolyat, its split tongue sticking out of its mouth to taste the air.

"Ah." Thane said and took a few steps towards the upset reptile.

"Be careful." His siha whimpered.

With determined steps, Thane walked towards the snake. He crouched in front of it and grabbed it behind the head. It wriggled around, but couldn't do anything apart from whip its tail at him. Siha let out a quiet little squeal as he started carrying the squirming reptile towards the patio. He walked out, threw it onto the sand and walked in again, making sure to close the patio door behind him.

He turned around to see Shepard and Kolyat stare at him with large eyes.

"What the hell, Thane?!" Shepard howled and jumped of the sofa. "It could have bitten you."

A laugh escaped Thane before he could stop himself and he felt Shepard stare daggers into him.

"My wonderful siha, it was a harmless type of snake."

Shepard's eyes narrowed and a blush of embarrassment appeared on her cheeks. Narrowing her eyes, she prodded him in the chest.

"If you tell anyone - anyone - about this, I will make you into shoes, Krios."