It was only eight days before I was donning another gown for another ball. Eloise brushed one last layer of sheer over my collarbone and I glanced toward Eikko's closet to see if he was ready yet. He was just pulling on his suit jacket and adjusted his bow tie to make sure it was straight. His butler started putting on his cuff links for him. Eloise retrieved my jewelry and fastened it lightly behind my neck.

"Who is hosting this party?" Eikko asked.

"Sir Lucas Clark. He's Brice's personal adviser and a really nice man. He hosted a party for New Year's a few years ago and it was a smash," I explained slowly, checking the clasp of my bracelet to make sure it was tight.

Eikko grinned. "A smash?"

"What?"

"Nothing." He waved off his butler and joined me in my closet. "So we get to be guests tonight?"

"Yes. Even better, our parents can celebrate here on their own. Thank you Eloise, you are dismissed. Have a wonderful New Year's Eve." Eloise curtsied and disappeared through a side door in my closet, a small smile on her lips as she saw Eikko hug me tightly.

"Are you sure your parents are okay with us leaving? They seemed a little down at breakfast," he commented.

I grabbed my clutch from the dresser and checked to make sure that my private cell phone and lipstick were tucked safely inside. "This is a hard time of year for them. The anniversary of the massacre was only a couple days ago. They'll be back to their normal selves after the memorial tomorrow."

For the first few years I could remember, the memorial for the massacre was on the actual anniversary but Mom and Dad moved it to New Year's Day, saying that they hated having to do Christmas, then a memorial, then New Year's. Brice also told me one time that Dad thought it was more symbolic to start the year by remembering those we lost in the past and finding hope in a better tomorrow.

"We should go," I said, embracing him one last time before making my way to the door. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave."

Eikko laughed and held the door open for me. He clapped the shoulder of the guard posted outside and said, "I like the way you think, woman."

General Leger was waiting by the car that would be driving us to the event. "You have your cell phone, right?" he checked.

"Yes," I sighed. "Just like I always do when I go out in public."

General Leger smiled appreciatively. "I know it seems silly because you've never had to use it but in case there's an emergency or we need to contact you about something urgent, you need to have it."

"I know, I know. Thank you."

"Have fun tonight, Eadlyn. You deserve it." He hugged me quickly and then shut us inside the car.

As our driver was given last minute orders from General Leger, I looked out the window at the wall protecting the palace from the outside. With a start, I realized that I hadn't stepped foot outside that wall since I had returned from Panama four months prior. How quickly I had gotten sucked into being queen and doing work – I had completely forgotten to observe the outside world. I shivered as we passed through the gate. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be the queen that changed things, not just do what every monarch did before me.

"Are you okay?" Eikko asked, sensing that I was on edge.

"Fine," I growled. It wasn't fair for me to take my frustration out on him. I was more frustrated with myself than anyone else. My ultimate goal of being queen was to get the monarchy closer to the people and my first anniversary of queen was fast approaching and I had only managed to distance myself from my people even more but instituting a government with more tiers than before.

There wasn't a solution to this though. General Leger barely gave us permission to attend this party. The only reason he did finally agree was because an adviser was hosting and there would be palace guards there already. An added dozen of guards was no-biggie, apparently. With my being pregnant and the war raging across the ocean, he would never let me go out for public events like library dedications and hospital visits.

Eikko pressed on though, starting to get concerned by my attitude. "Is it Marid?"

I shook my head. "No." Although Marid was still a problem. He had slipped through our fingers again. There was no permanent damage done by his visit but he had gotten into the palace. He was in the Great Room. He danced with me, held me, and still got away from us. "I'm just tired. My body is definitely starting to feel the effects of pregnancy now."

"We don't need to stay at the party for long, tonight. Heck, we could leave before midnight if you wanted," he offered even though due to protocol, I was the one who decided when we arrived and when we left. Well, I decided and then the guards would take a half hour to make sure it was clear for me to leave.

I leaned forward and tapped the guard in the front seat on the shoulder. "Tell General Leger that I would like to leave at 11:30," I told him. "There, now we can watch the fireworks together on our balcony."

"Fireworks?"

"The Angeles Fire Department has a huge firework display up in the hills. It's massive. It was always my favorite thing about New Year's as a kid."

"And now?"

I smiled as I considered it, our car pulling up to the front of Sir Lucas's house. "Well, for the last few years it's been the champagne but seeing as I can't drink champagne this year, I'd have to say it's my handsome date tonight."

Eikko laughed. "Good one." A guard opened the door for me and I slid out, walking to the doors of the home. It was large and ostentatious compared to normal homes in Angeles but the advisers all lived rather comfortably. Sir Lucas bought the home from another adviser several years prior and held a New Year's party to celebrate it. He was in the foyer, greeting his guests but judging from the sway he had, he was several drinks into the night.

"Am I about to see all of our advisers drunk?" Eikko asked.

"Not all of them. Just most of them."

We greeted Sir Lucas, keeping it brief. Then we proceeded into one of the front parlors, guests starting to swarm around us as we caught the attention of the room. Everyone who hadn't had too much champagne yet bowed and curtsied. Some wobbled and nearly took a tumble but seeing a room full of my colleagues sloppy with alcohol was entertaining enough for me to not turn my nose up at them.

Brice suddenly flung herself into my arms, a glass of white wine in her hand. "Happy New Year!" she sang in my ear. I looked her up and down, trying to figure out if she was drunk or not. She could clearly tell what I was thinking. "I'm not drunk, just excited to see a familiar face."

"How are the wives?" I asked her, nodding to the corner of the room where the wives of the advisers all were congregated.

"Insufferable. If I hear one more conversation revolving around plastic surgery or the outrageous prices of private schools, I might actually have to get drunk."

"Duly noted. What are they saying about private schools though? We just adjusted the policies for how provincial governments can lower the costs," I said, that being the part that caught my attention.

Brice rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to not be working tonight. Don't worry about it."

I tried to take her advice but the truth was, I would have happily been back at the palace worrying about mundane queen things in lieu of having to interact with drunk advisers all night. After my realization that I had essentially abandoned my people, I was in no mood to party with the same people I saw everyday and their snooty wives who looked at me skeptically every time I told them that I was thirteen weeks along.

Eikko left me at one point to get drinks and I was swallowed up in a group of the wives. They talked about their vacations they had taken and how lovely the beaches were in Sonage at this time of year were. One woman was even talking about the yacht that her husband owned. I couldn't remember which adviser she was married to but I certainly was curious about which adviser had the means to own a yacht. I peeked over at Eikko, desperate for a rescue, when one of our guards approached him and whispered something in his ear. His face blanched and he immediately made eye contact with me.

Officer Wells came up to me with my purse. "Phone call, ma'am," he told me briefly. "I've secured a place for you to speak privately." I followed him to a study that was shut away from the party. Several guards were standing outside the door but Officer Wells was the only one to come inside the study with me.

I snapped open my purse and read the number on the screen of my phone, puzzled over who it was. It was an international number. "Who is this?" I asked Officer Wells.

"The prime minister of New Asia," he answered, his voice tense. For good reason. If the New Asian prime minister was calling me at what would be very early in the morning for him, it was not good news.

"Prime Minister Xang, this is Queen Eadlyn," I said as I flipped open my phone.

"Queen Eadlyn, you are a difficult woman to reach."

I chewed on my lip, well aware of the various hoops you had to jump through to reach my secure line. "What can I help you with, Prime Minister Xang?"

"I just have a few questions for you, Your Majesty," he replied in a curt tone. "I'm not interrupting anything too terribly important, am I?"

"No, not at all." In fact, you've saved me from a party I was loathing. But New Asia didn't celebrate New Year's until later in January. "I would be glad to answer any of your questions."

"Well, I was wondering if you have read the treaty lately? Or if your father has reviewed with you since you became queen? Just so I can know whether or not you are aware of the conditions and terms that your country agreed to when the war ended."

I frowned, leaning against a desk. "I am very familiar with the treaty, I can assure you of that, Sir."

"Then you would know that according to section six, item two, you are forbidden from putting Illéan boots on New Asian soil."

"I do know that."

"Explain this to me Queen Eadlyn: why am I looking at images of Illéan soldiers camping in Vilnu, a New Asian territory in Eastern Europe?"

My heart stopped and I was confident that every bit of blood in my body froze. Officer Wells noticed my alarm and took a step toward me but I held up a hand to stop him. "I'm sorry?"

"Don't tell me you are unaware of this."

"There must be some sort of confusion, Prime Minister Xang. The only soldiers I've deployed to Europe are in France, working for the emergency aid corps to protect civilians," I said, trying to sound calm and professional.

He chuckled. "I think you are the confused one, my good queen. These images clearly display the Illéan flag. You do have a purple flag and gold flag, correct? And your soldiers appear to be celebrating, which only Illéa, France, England, and Italy have a holiday on this day." I had no response as my mind instantly started going through lists of advisers that could have done this. "You've broken your end of the treaty, Queen Eadlyn. As per the conditions of the treaty, any breach on Illéa's end results in immediate termination. Do you remember that part as well?"

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth.

"Then I must inform you that we are upholding that condition and the treaty is thusly terminated. You can no longer consider New Asia as an ally of Illéa. Have a wonderful night, Queen Eadlyn."

"No, wait—" The line went dead and the phone slipped from my hand. I put a hand to my stomach, fighting back the vile rising in my throat.

"Your Majesty?" Officer Wells called, looking more concerned by the second.

"I need Eikko," I choked out.

It was silent enough in the study that I could hear General Leger speaking urgently in Officer Wells's radio, communicating a message from the palace. "New Asia terminated the treaty. We discussed our plan for this happening in our morning briefing. You all know what to do. Officer Wells, secure the queen. Officer Cameron will secure the consort."

Officer Wells stepped forward and started pulling me through the party again. I let him lead me though because the room was swimming around me and my knees felt like they were made of gelatin. Our car was waiting with a heavily armed SUV behind it as our tail. Eikko was already inside when I slid into the back seat.

He looked troubled but not confused. "I heard."

I had hundreds of questions but no idea where to begin. I didn't even know what to do when I got back to the palace. Every part of my tired body wanted me to go to bed but one of Illéa's biggest former enemies just ended our peace treaty with them – I would not be sleeping for the rest of the night, not if I was lucky.

"I don't understand how this happened, how Illéan soldiers ended up in Vilnu. None of my advisers have that kind of power and General Leger…he watched Dad fight tooth and nail for that treaty, he would never dare to risk terminating it," I said as our car started racing through the streets of Angeles. I needed to talk through this. It was the only way for me to clear my thoughts. "Why Vilnu? I know that New Asian troops and North African troops are occupying Swendway but its not an ideal location to protect England and France so they must be there for…" My voice trailed off. Aside from myself and General Leger, there was only one other person with the power to move soldiers around the globe. I looked sideways to Eikko who appeared to be avoiding eye contact at all costs. "Tell me you didn't."

Silence fell in the car as I stared him down, waiting for him to say something. He took several breaths. It felt like all of the air was slowly being sucked from the car as the full weight of betrayal started sitting on my chest. "Swendway is an ally to Illéa. If we continued to do nothing, they would have been lost to New Asia—"

"New Asia is a stronger enemy to Illéa than Swendway is an ally!" I exploded. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" I demanded as the car stopped in front of the palace. At least a dozen guards were waiting on the palace steps. General Leger and Officer Wells both held their arms above me as I stormed from the car to the front doors. I didn't turn around until I heard the doors close behind Eikko. "Well? Do you?"

"Eadlyn, I'm trying to protect you, protect us. Please, see my reasoning in this. If Swendway lost power to New Asia, France would be surrounded by their enemy. I was doing what was best for us and for your brother."

"You didn't consult me at all, Eikko. How is that supposed to do any good for me? Instead, I get a phone call from the New Asian prime minister, informing me of everything my husband has been doing behind my back?" I exclaimed. "How could you do this? How did you do this?"

"I met with General Leger," he said simply.

I pointed at the general, who happened to be walking through the foyer at that moment. He stopped, standing halfway between Eikko and I. "You are involved with this?"

"Eadlyn, listen to Eikko," General Leger pleaded.

"You do not tell your queen what to do!" I yelled at him, focusing again on my husband, still standing twenty feet from me.

Eikko licked his lips as he carefully considered his next words. There were footsteps from the top of the steps and I just knew that it was my family, probably alerted already to what was happening and wanting to check on us. "You don't see what I see, Eadlyn," Eikko said gently.

"And what do you see?" I growled, making it plenty clear that he better think good and hard about what he said to me next.

"I see the way the advisers influence every decision you make here. They've backed you into a corner, Eadlyn. They've told you that we can't get involved in a war but I talked to General Leger and your father and they both agreed—"

"You talked to my father about this?!" I turned to face Dad, who I knew was standing at the top of the steps. I was seeing red with as furious as I was. Mom smacked Dad's arm from where she stood beside him but his face was stony, giving away nothing. I faced Eikko again. "What about the advisers?"

"Eadlyn, look around you. Ask yourself why you haven't acted yet. It's because the advisers told you not to. Why did you simply send relief to French victims of the war? Because the advisers told you to. Why did you lie to the country about how pregnant you are? Because the advisers told you to. You have become their puppet – they're running the country Eadlyn, not you."

My breathing picked up and I tried to take deep breaths to control my heartbeat but I couldn't. I was actually going to self implode on the marble steps in the foyer of my palace. "How dare you?" I screamed. "How dare you stand in front of me and accuse me of that!"

"You're angry because you know it's true!"

"I'm angry because you've suddenly decided that you are more powerful than your queen and did something without even thinking of consulting me first," I corrected him. I couldn't tolerate being in his presence so I spun and started ascending the steps, feeling every eye in the room on me. Every guard, family member, maid, and footmen in the foyer was still as a statue.

"I am your consort, you know. I can do more than pick out china patterns for state dinners."

I stopped at the top of the steps. Mom and Dad moved to the side so that they were out of my way. I turned and looked down at Eikko, my husband, my prince, and apparently my own worst enemy. "You married me to be a husband, not a king."

"I married you to be married to Eadlyn, not the shell of a queen you've become. I'm trying to help you, Eadlyn."

"I don't think Henri would be trying to help me, do you?" I snapped. It was a low blow. I knew it was a low blow but it came out and the hurt he felt was clear. No one dared to follow me as I stormed the rest of the way up to the third floor. The sound of my bedroom door slamming closed probably echoed through the whole palace.

The silence in my room choked out the sobs I had been holding in for the last twenty minutes. I perched on the edge of my bed, trying to catch my breath. There was a loud boom behind me and the wall opposite my balcony illuminated green and blue as fireworks lit up the sky. I walked to my balcony and stopped at the railing. Fireworks exploded above me.

The war I had been trying so hard to avoid was now coming, running to my borders. At that very moment, people were celebrating the New Year. From my balcony, I could just barely hear the celebrations from down on the basement-level patio where the maids and guards were celebrating. Lovers were kissing, kids were dancing, it was a time for happiness and zeal. Not a time to be preparing for war.

I remained on the balcony, watching the fireworks, as Eikko went through our room and got ready for bed. Only after hearing the small click of his bedside lamp turning off did I leave my balcony, strip down to my slip, and join him in bed, facing the wall and not my husband.

The only time of the year, every year, where the entire royal family ever left the palace was on the first of the year for the memorial. We were always dressed in black. Mom and I carried bouquets of white roses to lay in the mausoleum where my grandparents were buried. There were no crowns. Photographers were always lined up along the fence to take pictures of us at our most vulnerable.

This was never where our family mourned anyway. It was always hard for me to shed tears on this day because I wasn't alive for it. I didn't live through that fear and I didn't have to go through the loss of people I knew and loved. Not like Mom and Dad. Dad was far more emotional about these visits than Mom because it was primarily for his parents but he hadn't cried openly here for several years.

The memorial this year was different, borderline uncomfortable. Ahren was gone from our stronghold and Eikko was in his place – an imposter. I wanted my husband to be welcome here but I couldn't help feeling that he was intruding. If I had not been really affected by the massacre, he certainly wasn't. He may have been alive when the massacre occurred but he was only an infant.

We walked in a silent could of black across the cemetery. Our family guards were in their funeral uniforms, including General Leger. He walked close behind Mom and Dad. He always took part in the memorial with our family. They never discussed it but General Leger had received a Medal of Honor and Service from the massacre because he saved Dad's life somehow. He had lost friends during that massacre. He earned his place with our family for this day of mourning.

Mom and I put our flowers down in front of the gold-embossed names of my grandparents. I took a step back. Mom lingered though, her fingers shaking as they hovered over Grandma Amberly's name. Dad took my place at her side and pulled her close to him.

I took my place next to Eikko. He leaned over and whispered, "I'm protecting your legacy."

"We're not discussing this here," I hissed back out of the corner of my mouth.

"I don't want you to end up here anytime soon, certainly not before your parents," he pressed. "They can't have any more pain in their lives. They've had enough loss."

I clenched my jaw, anger starting to boil up again. Keeping my eyes forward, I whispered back, "Do not make this about my family."

"It's our family, remember? Perhe?"

Hearing that was almost enough to make my resolve crumble. Almost. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you went behind my back and destroyed one of the two things they dedicated most of their reign to."

"I told you that I spoke to your father about it."

"You should have spoken to me about it."

"You would have said no."

I finally turned, facing the entranceway for the mausoleum. Officer Wells, my personal guard for every time I stepped out of the palace, snapped to attention as he foresaw my imminent departure. "I would have argued to find a better way to resolve this without breaking the treaty with New Asia."

"There's no way for us to get through this war without breaking a treaty with someone, Eadlyn. I happened to choose breaking your alliance with New Asia over breaking the alliance with every European ally we have."

I finally left, Eikko following me out into the weak winter sunlight of an Angeles January morning. "That treaty was written in a time of peace. What we're seeing now is anything but." I kept walking, no longer capable of responding to him without screaming. "Are you angry at me for what I actually did or simply because I did it without telling you?"

Almost half of the guards on the family detail that morning were following me. I had twice as many guards in public than anyone else in the family because I was queen but especially now because I was carrying the heir. That meant that half of the guards in the cemetery stopped walking when I stopped. I faced Eikko, sensing that he had more to say.

"'Her first year will be the hardest'," he said, quoting someone or something. "'Don't just be there for her – be her'. That's what Henri told me the morning of your coronation. At first I thought that he was saying that to himself but now I know that he was saying it to me."

"He had no way of knowing—"

"Henri is smart, you know that. He's from Swendway. He lived there when your fourth cousin or whatever became king six years ago. Never mind that. He said to me that being prince consort it isn't the job. Being your husband isn't even the job. It's serving you in every way possible that's the job. It's being your shadow, a constant companion that goes behind you and protects you from what you can't see behind you. I'm here so that you don't have to look back. It just happens that what was behind you this time would have eventually attacked you from the front as well. An enemy doesn't stop being an enemy just because they signed a piece of paper twenty years ago, Eadlyn."

I wanted to hate him. I wanted to argue with every word he just said. I wanted to scream and throw things at him. I wanted to hold on to at least one piece of dignity as queen. I didn't have that luxury though. "I've only ever known peace. I don't know how to be a queen at war."

"I don't know how to be a prince consort at war," he answered. "But we'll figure it out together."

He took a tentative step toward me and reached for my hand. I let him take it, feeling the warmth of his hand even through the gloves we were wearing. "I feel like my life is on fast-forward right now. I'm still learning how to be a wife and a queen and now I'm going to have to learn how to be a mother. Some days I feel like I can't breathe under the weight of it all."

"Lucky for you, I'm here to help bear it. In whatever way I can. I'll be your lungs for you, to breathe for you on days that you have meetings from dawn to midnight and a colicky baby to care for."

"God, I hope our baby never has colic," I said. He pulled a hankie out of his breast pocket in his trench coat and passed it to me. I didn't even know that I was crying. "Do you think your mom believes that we actually have more to do than pose for pictures yet?"

He laughed and kissed my forehead gently. "If anyone is more stubborn than you, it's my mother. She'll probably go to her grave believing that." Officer Wells coughed pointedly. "Okay, you've been out in the open for too long. Let's get you in one of those tanks disguised as a sedan."

Eikko held his hand out to me to help me into the car but I stopped and said, "Eikko, thanks for having the balls to do something I would not have been able to do myself."

"Well, I do wear the pants in the relationship," he said, nodding down at my dress and his suit.

"Watch it," I growled, sliding into the car. Eikko was still laughing though as Officer Wells closed the door behind him.