Ozzy Ozbourne - Crazy Train (1:05 for the sing-along)

(Mental wounds, Not Heaaaaling

Life's a bit-ter shaaaaame

I'm goin' off the rails on the Crazy Train!

Dun dun dun dun dun dun

I'm going off the raaaaails on the Crazy Traaaain!

*wicked guitar solo*)

The Omni-tool for Dummies Handbook was probably the best thing that's happened to me since I woke up on Eden Prime.

(I listened to preachers,

I've listened to fooools)

When Shepard didn't pick me again for the mission on Edolus I discovered, that's what I spent most of the day messing around on.

(I've watched all the dropouts)

The first thing I did was surf the Extranet for any info on Shepard to see what her history was. Which just resulted in a gazillion news articles on her recent appointment as Humanity's first Spectre. Not exactly helpful.

(Who make their own ruuuuules)

I tried searching for what I could find on Wrex, Anderson and several others of the Normandy's crew on the Extranet too but I couldn't find what I wanted. Apparently, searching for specific individuals of little note in a Galaxy of Trillions didn't get you many results, go figure.

(One person conditioned

To rule and controool)

After THAT, I decided to say "fuck it" and mess around. I thought it would be fun to download one of the many free films floating around, settling on the first one I was familiar with. I found disappointingly that Blasto 1 was complete shit. Five hours long, horrible acting, and having the worst narrative I have ever goddamn seen, I was totally confused with how the cinematography of the future had become so awful.

I guess the longer lifespans of aliens explained its length but...

(The media sells it

And you live the rooooole)

At my wits end, I decided to see if I could at least find some decent music to download. Realizing all the top hits in the 22nd century was Techno with no lyrics, I almost broke down and cried. Only on a whim did I search for songs from Earth's 20th Century...which actually found me a surprising amount. Settling for what I saw and could actually tolerate, I was now listening to Ozzy as he rocked out in my earpiece.

(Mental wounds still screaaaaming)

I felt weightless as the Mako propulsed itself into the air.

(Driving me insaaaane

I'm going off the rails on the Crazy Traaaain)

Speaking of crazy...

Shepard's erratic driving was causing me a lot of discomfort. It wasn't her fault specifically, as from what I could see she was driving relatively well. More or less. It was just that with every sharp turn, every pothole we hit, every time we shot seven feet into the air to avoid an Armature's energy pulse, my head would slam against the metal wall behind it.

(I'm going off the rails on the Crazy Traaaaaain

*wicked chord*)

"OW-"

Naturally, my head snapped back against the Mako's cold steel wall as it collided with the ground again. I didn't fail to notice Wrex's mouth curve into a grin across from me as it happened. I turned off the song when he started to open it.

"-umans are so fragile. If you had a headplate like Krogans do, you all wouldn't get concussed so damn easily."

Yeah, your headplate is totally the reason why you're head's not hurting. Not the human sized hump cushioning it.

"Or a helmet," Kaidan said next to him. "You should've grabbed one before we left."

"You guys had spare helmets?!"

"...I thought the Commander told you we had some equipment for you during your briefing."

"Must have slipped my mind," Shepard said from the front.

Shepard...I hate you. I hate you so hard right now.

She could've actually killed me. All I had on me was the armor and pistol I woke up with on Eden Prime. If I had an assault rifle, grenades, or hell, even that helmet, I would feel a LOT better about facing the army of Geth between us and the dig site. And the Mako soon returned to its silence once again.

Across from me, Wrex looked bored, after not getting to man the turret like he had wanted. Kaidan was squeezed to his right, and Emerson on his left. Both marines were looking down at the floor, which I took to mean both were mentally preparing themselves again for the fight ahead. Next to me, Fredericks sat on my right and Tali on my left. Besides Fredericks and Kaidan was where the head of the vehicle was located, and where Shepard was driving and Ashley manned the guns. Even with the gunfire from outside however, the Mako was still too quiet for my taste, as we continued on our way to rescue our damsel in distress...

Hours Earlier...

"Hey Shield!"I turned around to find a marine standing in front of me. "Shepard wants you down in the garage."

"Uh...Why?"

"I don't know. If I were you though, I'd get down there as soon as possible. The Commander doesn't like to be kept waiting."

I knew that all too well.

And as I took the elevator down, I thought of what I would say. After Shepard's team had discovered the missing marines and taken down the false distress signal, I had gotten pretty upset. I hadn't said anything to her but at the rate we were going, I realized I would never even see the inside of the Mako by Ilos. Although I'll admit not fighting the Thresher Maw was slightly comforting, I was still dead set on being a part of the action. I mean, that's why I was fucking here.

Uh, YOU didn't decide to be HERE-

Shut up. You know that's not what I meant.

While I didn't choose to wake up in Universe of Mass Effect per se, I did 'choose' to be on the Normandy. To help make a difference. Prevent the unfortunate circumstances that would arise on Shepard's travels from ever happening. I couldn't do that though if I was never in any of them. As I exited the elevator, I immediately spotted her standing next to the Mako, talking to Vakarian. I steeled myself as I approached. I still didn't know what I planned to say or how I would convince her but I was damned if I wasn't at least going on one Priority Mission by the end of this journey-

"Get what you need. We're arriving at Therum in a couple hours."

"What." I blinked a couple times.

"You. Therum. Next mission. Or is that a problem?" Shepard replied harshly.

"Oh?...NO! Not at all!" I spat out.

"Alright then," she said grimacing while turning back to Garrus.

I stood there for a second in shock.

Well...alright then. Nice work me.

Hours Later (Otherwise known as The Present)...

All eight of us exited the vehicle once we had arrived at the quarry's entrance.

"Looks like we're gonna have to go on foot," Ashley obviously remarked as we climbed out.

"Keep your eyes open," Shepard ordered as we were all forced to enter the canyon single file.

"SHIT!" Fredericks then exclaimed as the Geth finally made their presence known.

Just when we had started climbing up the hill, three Geth had already popped up at the top. But before Emerson could additionally scream "GETH!" they had all been dropped by the seasoned veterans. I on the other hand simply trembled where I was in the back.

Well I'm not ready for this.

The closest I've ever been to a shootout was a paint ball fight. The closest you can get to the paralyzing fear of combat, knowing that around any corner or from any direction you could get pelted with a tiny million balls that stung like shit. Technically there had been the fire fights on Eden Prime and the one in the Wards Alley before this, but I had hid for most of both. We were actually walking onto a battle field with nowhere to hide this time around. And I found it fucking terrifying.

Reaching the top of the slope now, our force turned the corner to find a valley littered with what seemed to be waist high stone walls. Convenient. A shot suddenly rang past my neck from the watch tower on the other side of the gulch. That, not so much.

"Sniper's down!" Ashely shouted.

I realized she was the one who had taken the shot. Not the Geth. I was about to remark to her she had been a little close before the Geth started swarming into the valley from the other side.

"TAKE COVER!" Shepard yelled barreling down the slope. I was the last to follow her instruction as a hail of gunfire fell upon our position. Once at the bottom, I found the nearest waist high natural formations taken by Emerson and Tali. Running past their positions, I found the next three taken by Wrex, Kaidan and Fredericks. I maneuvered around them to find Shepard and Ashely at the only other two not occupied by Geth. So I ended up just standing there exposed in the middle of the battle field wondering what the hell I should do.

Lie on the ground? That would be a little-

"TAKE COVER SHIELD!" Kaidan yelled from behind as blast of energy shot by me.

I quickly made eye contact with the Geth that had done so and put a slug between its eye. Two shots to take down its shields. One to put it down. All in the span of a second.

"Woah, nice one!" I heard from Emerson.

Adrenaline's a hell of a drug. And then like an asshole, I almost turned around to smugly say thanks before my shield got ripped to shreds by three more. Ashley tackled me to the ground viciously, and then dragged me back to her own cover.

"What the FUCK are you doing?" she yelled at me over the gun fire. Shepard threw a biotic field from her hand and Wrex advanced to the recently vacated cover ahead of us. My shield beeped before coming back online.

Getting to my knees, I shrugged my shoulders at her and ran out after the Krogan. "SHIELD!" But I could barely hear her shout after me. The sound of the fire fight was deafening, as at least 18 guns blasted away at each other in the valley.

"Hey Wrex." I said next saddling up next to him. I found myself laughing as I said it. No idea why. Probably just a manic attack from almost being killed. He eyed me like I was insane. Which still wasn't really out of the question at this point-

"Now's not the-"

"See ya Wrex!" I said rolling back out of cover to the right.

And that found a Geth standing several feet away from where I currently found myself. Whoops.

Why did I just do that?

I squeezed the trigger of my Predator at least 3 times before it even had a chance to raise its gun. But even though its body was hissing like a rattlesnake, the thing was still standing. Then something popped out of my gun and I dropped it in surprise.

Luckily, the Geth was only able to fire a single shot at my shoulder before it was downed by someone else.

...Oh. Fuck me.

My gun looked like a Hahne-Kedar issued Kessler. But it was bigger. And when Ashely's wasn't looking, I had compared it to hers. They were both still about the same weight. I thought it might have been a striker or one of the other generic pistol models back in the first game but referred to it as a Predator nonetheless. But surprise surprise, it actually was an M-3 Predator. As in, the gun from ME2. The guns that actually needed ammo. I cursed my luck. My horrible, no good, dirty, rotten luck. Damn bastard.

And there I was. Biotics, tech powers, and rockets flying back and forth across the battlefield. Bullets whizzing overhead. The only comforting thing was that I was kneeling down on far right side of the canyon's battlefield, under the cliffside, being ignored by both the Geth and my squad.

Guess I'll just have to take his-

The Geth's pulse rifle ahead of me suddenly sparked and started smoking.

Aaaaand of course.

The Normandy's fire team was slowly making progress forward, despite my lack of contribution, but the rate of fire the Geth were keeping up was preventing them from really making any headway. And that had me wondering-

How are they holding them back? There's not even that many Ge-

Then it hit me. A Eureka! moment. Probably the first I had since I've gotten here. And hopefully not the last. I immediately crawled over to the Geth I 'killed' and started searching it. And I found what I was looking for attached to its back. I picked it up and fumbled with my gun for a while before it finally, BAM, it clicked in.

FUCK YEAH.

I slowly crept back into the shadows of the cliff side as the battle continued to rage on in the gulf's center. Wrex had tried to charge the Geth line twice but was stopped by a missile both times. Tough cookie that one. The marines on the other hand were pinned, unable to return fire with the amount of heat coming down on them.

As I reached the far corner of the battle field, I saw that a line of 6 Geth troopers were the only thing left separating them from the other side. They had those portable plasma shields placed in front of them which prevented any of the team's abilities from effectively being used against them. And even though Shepard was still flinging as many mass effect fields at them as she could, it did little to break them.

I jumped as I suddenly heard Joker speak up over my radio.

"Shepard, the Geth ship just turned back around and is headed your way!"

Shit.

If we were tied down any longer, that ship could drop reinforcements right on top of us. Or better yet, just blast us to smithereens. Now was the time to throw caution to the wind.

God, Buddha, Satan, give me strength.

I don't know what came over me. Courage? Adrenaline? The disembodied spirit of Rambo?

No idea. But I harnessed my inner warrior and let out a guttural war cry as I leaped out from the shadows, squeezing the trigger of my gun as quickly as I could. My arms didn't fling back with the recoil like the few times before.

I ended up shooting two Geth dead set in their chests. Five shots total. Somehow.

And the third I hit in the head. Three shots total.

The remaining three turned to me, I imagine, in surprise. Big mistake. Seeing their first opportunity since the battle started, Wrex and Shepard charged their position again while the rest laid down suppressing fire for the first time since they had gotten pinned. A rocket trooper I hadn't seen above me was sniped by Williams. And then, just like that, it was over. It had taken less than a minute to end the seemingly endless fight.

I quickly ran and bent over to start collecting the Geth's thermal clips before Shepard and the rest got to my position. I didn't want their questions about what I was looking for and why I might need them. Why I definitely needed them.

"How the hell did you get over there?!" Ashley said as the last of the fire team reached me.

Luckily I had already finished looting the Geth's bodies. And in response, I just shrugged my shoulders at her. She rolled her eyes exasperated, and followed Shepard and Wrex who had already begun scaling the hill up to the other side.

"Not bad," Fredericks remarked walking by me. Which was true. I was pretty impressed myself. Then Emerson and Kaidan also gave me nods of approval as they passed. I decided to bring up the rear again with Tali who I thought also seemed a little shell shocked.

"You okay?" I decided to ask her in concern. And with that, she almost jumped, seeming surprised by the fact that I was even standing right next to her.

"Ah!...yes. I'm fine. I'm...I just...I've never seen this many Geth in my life before. Let alone fight them."

I wish I could say I was fine too. But I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack. My heart was still beating a mile a minute from what just happened and my suit felt like a swamp. Wet, itchy and humid. Or maybe it was all in my mind. Regardless-

I really need a shower.

"Watch yourself. I'm sure there's more out here," I decided to advise her, moving my attention toward the large refinery ahead of us.

And THEN I noticed Shepard had already made her way in and was practically half way to the mine's entrance.

SHEPARD-what-you-fuck-fuck-the fucking colossus-

"SHEPARD, TAKE COVER!"

At the sound of my voice, I could see Shepard wheel around to glare at me. Probably mad I had just tried to give her an order. But she was quickly distracted as a laser hit her back and knocked her to her hands and knees. The Geth leaper didn't get far though as it was subsequently shot down by Kaidan. Like I had just pointed out however, it was kinda the least of our worries as the Geth dropship Joker aforementioned suddenly appeared humming over us.

"TAKE DEFENSIVE POSITIONS!" I could hear Shepard yell as she rolled behind a crate to her right. It was right in time too because a Geth armature landed with a loud clunk a couple yards from where she had just been.

Tali and I hauled ass to the nearest cover we could find in response, as a giant plasma burst sailed over our heads.

"Holy SHIT!" I heard Emerson yell over the added fire of Geth shock troopers also being dropped off.

"I've killed bigger things than this," I heard Wrex bellow over the unmistakable sound of a shot gun ringing in the air. Tali leaned out to send a sabotage at what I assumed to be a Geth and I decided to lean out my side to see what I could do too. On the left side of the crate however, all I could see was a long corridor beneath whatever the structure was above us, cordoned off and hidden from the Geth by a giant wall to the right. Assessing its safety, I decided to leave cover and sneak into it.

I froze as I heard a scream and subsequent yelling erupt from the other side of the wall next to me. Then I began to sprint. And I sprint to the end of the corridor, finding myself emerging on the other side of the site, right behind the flank of the Geth Colossus.

"Alenko, Tali, I need overloads NOW!"

Shepard's orders rang clearly in my ear. The radio continued to transmit the team's back and forth. And was probably the source of the scream I had just heard.

"That thing's electronic defenses are too complex for our omni-tools Shepard! Our tech attacks won't cut it!" Kaidan yelled back to her.

Taking another peek around the structure's column, I could only truly see the haunches of the the Colossus itself.

"Fredericks is bleeding out bad Commander!" I heard Ashley yell next.

Shepard cursed over the radio. I decided to report in.

"Shepard, I'm behind the Colossus. I can try to distract it."

She paused before responding.

"Then try to bring its attention on you. Fall back if you get it!"

"Will do," I responded opening fire on the black tubing underneath the Colossus' silver shell.

I couldn't see its front and therefore, I couldn't see when it turned its head to launch a ball of plasma at me. The explosion sent me flying back and sounded off the alarm that my kinetic barriers were down.

"Shield!"

I tried to respond but it felt like I had something caught in my throat. I just laid there on the ground heaving. And then my eyes widened as panic gripped me.

Please don't fucking tell me my rib's fractured again.

"Hey...what's it doing!?" I heard Wrex shout over the noise of the fire fight.

I took three deep breaths. Then I forced myself to calm down, and managed to roll onto my stomach. With that done, I came to a slow crawl back around the column to see what he was talking about. As soon as I had peeked back around the refinery structure's vast wall, I saw what he meant. I briefed them on the thing.

"It's a repair protocol! Once one of those things take enough damage they curl up and start to repair themselves!"

"WHAT?! How are we supposed to destroy this thing then!?" I heard Ashley yell on the radio.

I started firing my gun at it again to give her a hint. I only fired three shots before I saw Wrex suddenly leaping onto the back of its left leg however. And then I continued to watch as he began to climb the thing.

What the fuck.

My gun ejected a heat clip.

"WREX!" I heard the Commander yell over the radio.

"This is how it's done boys and girls!" Wrex shouted as he got onto its back and waltzed over to the Colossus' neck joint.

Just before he pulled his trigger, it popped right back up, disengaging its repair matrix, almost flinging Wrex clear off in the processs.

"Distract it! Make sure to watch your shots!" Shepard barked as she started the fire fight again.

I decided to oblige, albeit using my ammo sparingly in the process, realizing bullets didn't grow on trees. You didn't come by Thermal clips in 2183 easily. And despite it's earlier action, Wrex had been able to hang on and was now on its neck, shimmying up. Halfway to the top, he pulled out his shot gun and blasted the turret underneath the Geth's head to kingdom come. While making it easier to return fire for the rest of us, it had also alerted the thing to the Krogan on it. I guess you could describe what it started to do as shake, although it almost seemed to be dancing, dancing as it tried to throw the Krogan off. I left my cover with the danger of the turret gone and fully open fired on it along with the others. Wrex kept climbing disregarding the Colossus' tantrum (and our gunfire too), and soon found, himself at the top of its head.

"It's no Thresher Maw but I'm sure this will kill it all the same," he said over the radio, blasting what I thought to be a carnage shot through its head.

And that suddenly caused it to start sputtering. Its legs gave out, neck dropped crooked, and finally, it collapsed to the ground. Violently. Wrex was flung several feet away once its head followed suit. Lucky for him too as the whole thing went up in a giant blue ball of flame shortly afterwards.

"God damn," Ashley remarked exiting cover.

Shepard radioed the Normandy.

"Joker, ready the med bay, we have two wounded. Get down here ASAP!"

"Yes ma'am!" Joker responded over the radio.

At that, I rushed back over to the group that had formed underneath one of the structure's walkways. Getting close, I saw how bad the marines were injured. Fredericks' armor was melted away at the side and had a large amount of blood flowing from it. Kaidan was trying to apply medi-gel to stop it. And beside him, Emerson was being attended to by Tali and Ashley, having a couple bullet holes riddled along his right arm and shoulder.

Shepard glanced at me as I passed her.

After Shield had stumbled by, she realized things couldn't have gone worse.

A good part of her team had been taken out of the mission before they had even found T'Soni and she now learned that Shield's ineptitude had all been a façade as well.

Not only was he able to sneak by the Geth undetected but dispatched a good amount of them without any effort too. All clean shots. Placement along the head and body. He seemed to be barely able to handle the recoil of his gun back on Eden Prime but now apparently had marksmanship on par with Kaidan. He had faked his ineptitude all along, playing them. With the Krogan's feat well in her mind too, she was no longer confident if they could take them on.

She ended her conversation with Chakwas and told Vakarian to follow her out. Wrex, Shield, Williams, and Kaidan were still waiting at the bottom of the ramp.

"Commander, didn't Tali come down with you?" the Turian said beside her looking around.

"She's examining some of the Geth we shot. We're hoping she can find some more information on Saren and his whereabouts." Then she turned to the rest. "No doubt some Geth already entered the ruins, keep your eyes open and guns out."

She then ordered the group into the mine's tunnel. She narrowed her eyes and nodded to Williams and Kaidan as they passed her. They gave a quick nod back. Shepard had briefed the four marines before they came planet side to watch Shield and Wrex, telling them of her suspicions. Only Kaidan had openly expressed his disagreement about where their loyalties lay but told her regardless that he would keep an eye out.

Shepard made sure to enter the mine shaft last.

And why were they even suspected of anything in the first place?

Because both admitted they worked for the Shadow Broker. And the Shadow Broker had made deals with Saren. Fist was a prime example of this. Though Fist's OSD only contained information on his illicit activities, she was still surer than ever that the two were going to double-cross them. And she planned for them to do it here instead of on a more critical mission.

But their actions depicted the opposite didn't they?

If Shield hadn't flanked the Geth back in the quarry, they would've have been pinned until the drop ship arrived. Then the Geth artillery would have been dropped right on the top of the hill. None of them would've survived. And then Wrex had taken that suicidal risk of taking it down hand to hand at the dig site moments ago too. He was a Krogan though, and they were blood thirsty and stupid. And Shield had still lied on multiple occasions. He did it when they first found him, and apparently he had lied about his abilities with a gun too. He had to have had training somewhere. And a sufficient amount of it.

She saw Geth ahead now but could do little from the back of the single file line. Wrex and Garrus who were taking point killed them however with little effort and the group continued on down the tunnel.

Shield or Wrex most likely warned the Doctor that we were coming for her and set up a trap. There they'll turn on us and we'll most likely be ambushed by more Geth too.

She had Williams and Alenko prepared for the scenario but Vakarian assuredly was not.

Would they be enough for Wrex, Shield and however many Geth there were?

They had to be.

Several Geth drones rose from below the scaffold they were standing upon, but they were quickly dispatched by the fire team. Actually surveying her environment for the first time, she noticed there was a faint blue light coming from ahead. And as they all gathered in front of the elevator that would take them down, she examined the light's source. It came from some kind of concave in the wall...a Prothean construct. The glow reminded her of the Prothean beacon and the vision quickly flit through her mind, causing her to flinch.

"Never visited a Prothean Ruin before," Vakarian said breaking the silence. "...besides the Citadel."

"Sterile white. Protheans sure built things homey," the Krogan added moments later.

As Wrex, Vakarian and Shield were the first to pile into the elevator, the Broker's operative seemed to be in a panic now. She hadn't known why until she heard a loud thump, and was told from below that the elevator had 'malfunctioned' halfway.

A trap meant for us.

Shield asked them how they were going to get down but she chose not to respond, carefully jumping onto the elevator cable and sliding down after them. She had her hand on her holstered weapon as she vaulted onto the scaffold next. Wrex and Vakarian had already started to continue down it. But Shield eyed her as she walked past him.

They're going to act any second.

She quickly took stock of their surroundings. The walkway they were on was narrow, extremely advantageous to the Krogan since it was such close quarters. He would be able to blow through them easily. Unless she used her biotics to stagger him. Then Kaidan could overload his shields. And then he would just be an over-sized target. Below them though was a cavern that could easily hide any number of Geth. They would certainly complicate things. And Shield was still behind her.

She braced herself.

This was it...

A foreign voice caused her to jump.

"Uh...hello? Could somebody help me?...Please?"

Author's Notes:

If you weren't familiar the song in the beginning is Crazy Train by Ozzy Ozbourne (1:07). Not exactly my favorite song but certainly a fun one that I would choose if I had to pick between it and Jazz from the 1920's. Ew.

I probably could have got a lot more done this week too if it wasn't for Dragon Age, and its ridiculous segues! I wish it would at least ease me into its plot points! Anyways...

In the Next Chapter: Asari, and Krogan, and Prothean visions, Oh my! The Throwdown on Therum!

Tune in next time for Act 1 of Mass Effective: A Hero Made!