A/N: I do not own Victorious ):
Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! :1
All mistakes are mine, sorry.
Hope you enjoy!
Tree branches scratched against a window of an old neoclassic building creating an echo in the quiet room. The only other sounds in the desolate room came from the constant tapping of black leathered boots that walked back in forth as their owner rounded the fairly large place collecting small stacks of paper. It was one of those common rainy days on the university campus creating an isolated land.
"Don't wish don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart," were the hummed words melodically. The brunette quietly sang to herself as she began to gather up all the files and papers. She spent most of the morning in the old building after the council meeting had ended. Some students lingered around for a while but left after an hour leaving the brunette on her own, not that Tori minded. She oddly welcomed the solitude, though she'd probably have to be caught red handed first before she admitted some company could never hurt. It steered her clear from her own thoughts.
"That's a stupid song," a husky voice spoke from the door.
The olive skinned woman turned around startled at the sudden sound of another person and dropped the papers in her panic. Almond brown eyes focused on a taller pale woman who stood with her arms crossed and a crooked smirk. "Don't do that!" Tori glared. She hated being scared, it usually served only to upset her. She brushed back the auburn locks from her face and crouched down to collect the scattered folders.
Jade chuckled at the woman's reaction and mirrored the woman's movement, helping gather the papers. "Didn't mean to frighten you, Vega," she replied a smirk playing along her lips.
Tori remained silent and stood once all the papers had been collected. "You didn't frighten me, just caught me by surprise" She finally responded.
"Whatever you say," Jade chuckled standing.
Tori had asked for the day off for a reason. The event was only a few weeks away and she wanted to make sure she had everything she needed. She wanted it to go according to plan. At least this, she thought. "Can I help you with something, Jade?" She asked placing the files into her bag.
Blue eyes examined the brunette for a moment. She didn't have to look long to know the black bags beneath the determined brown eyes were from the lack of sleep. Tori hasn't been sleeping, Jade thought. Why not? "I heard you were going to be around here just thought I'd stop by and say hi," she smiled.
Tori nodded and took a zip from a cup of coffee that had been set on the table behind her. It was in that moment that Jade noticed the three cups of coffee that sat behind the brunette. "Are all those cups yours, Vega?" Jade raised a brow.
Tori shrugged. "Had a long night," she bluntly replied.
She opened her mouth but was cut off as Jade spoke again. "You don't honestly believe what that song says do you?" Jade asked. She took a step closer to the brunette, narrowing her brows.
Tori stared at the Goth with a blank expression. "What song? Oh you mean-" she began recalling the song she had been singing to herself moments prior to the conversation.
"Excuse me. You're Tori Vega, right?" Both women turned to look at a tall tan skinned blonde woman who stood by the door way. She held a clipboard and a name tag declaring she worked for the school newspaper.
Tori hesitantly nodded, letting the unanswered question to the Goth drop. "That's me. Can I help you with something?" she asked meeting curious blue eyes. She couldn't help but be reminded of the raven haired woman with eyes the color of the ocean. They were so... Her thoughts went unfinished as the blonde spoke again.
"So you're the one who came up with the entire theme for the event this year?" the blue eyed woman asked. The only contrast between those blue eyes and the pale woman's were the missing hints of green and hazel in them.
"Yes I came up with the theme this year." Tori answered briefly glancing over at the raven haired woman beside her to read any sort of reaction. Jade remained with a stoic expression, turning to look at the woman when she fell silent.
"Excellent! Would you care to share what the theme will be this year? I'm writing a report for the school paper," the blonde woman said gesturing to her badge. She grinned widely, and if Tori didn't know better, she'd have thought the woman could almost be related to Cat because of her bubbly energy.
"Actually, as of right now the committee will not be releasing any information about the event until everything is one-hundred percent sealed and ready to go," Tori answered. She wasn't in charge of the committee, but she felt like she was. She was taking care of almost all the planning and coordinating. She'd arranged the reservation for the event, she'd made many calls for the caterings and much needed chairs and tables. The committee wasn't weighing the responsibility on her, Tori chose to take them. The head of the committee had to beg Tori to let the rest of the committee at least take care of picking up the chairs and tables and food for the day. Tori had given in and agreed feeling exhausted that day. It didn't help that during that time Tori had been in a crummy mood because her hand usage had been limited.
The blonde woman pouted a little in disappointment. She wrote down Tori's response then looked back at the brunette. "Well what are you hoping to see happen once it's all settled?" She asked. She held the pen in her hand over the clipboard ready to write with a huge grin.
Tori felt a pang in her chest. Hope? Tori didn't hope. She couldn't, wouldn't, not with everything going on in her life. There seemed to be room for anything but hope in her life. The last time she hoped… Tori pushed her thoughts down and away. She didn't want to think or remember anything. That was the purpose of her busy schedule. "Well if all goes according to plan, I think we can most definitely see that the event will be a success. I'm sorry I can't give you any more details at this time." She smiled apologetically. "But once we're confirmed you'll be the first to know," she assured the blonde woman.
The blonde woman nodded with a hopeful expression. "It's understandable. Thank you for your time. I wish you the best."
Jade watched as the brunette flinched at the words. She had been watching the woman carefully during the interview and couldn't help but notice how uneasy she had become when the blonde woman asked her what she'd hope to see. What was wrong with the question? She hadn't asked anything inappropriate. What could Tori hope for? If she was helping, then it was sure to go just as planned. Then it hit her. Hope. Tori didn't want to hope. Once the woman was gone Jade turned to the brunette and stared at her.
"Look Jade if you're not her to talk…" Tori began.
"Tori," was the only response from the Goth.
Tori dropped her gaze recognizing the woman's tone of voice. It was the same one she'd used at the park. Why was her chest suddenly feeling so heavy? It felt like the room was spinning, like suddenly she couldn't breathe. "Jade, I'm fine," she mumbled. She leaned back against the table to support her own weight.
Jade furrowed her brows. "Why are you always lying, Vega? There's nothing wrong with not being…"
"Jade, I said I'm fine. Please just drop it," Tori softly spoke. She was too tired to try and argue. It seemed like that was all she and Jade ever did They'd grown to get along in the last couple of months. Every once in a while they'd have a disagreement that usually led to Tori growing upset with the Goth. Could they even consider that a friendship?
Jade shook her head angrily. "You like hell right now, Tori! I've known you for some time now. I think I know you enough to see that you're not okay. Why are you so stubborn? What is going on with you?"
Tori kept her eyes glued to the ground and sighed with exhaustion. "I'm just under a lot of stress at the moment. Nothing I can't handle." She sighed. "Jade," she said meeting the concerned colored eyes. "I'll be fine. I promise." She gave the Goth the best convincing smile she could muster before returning her attention back to the rest of the papers on the table behind her.
Jade sighed. The dropped shoulders of the brunette clearly indicated she wasn't okay, but Tori of course wasn't that easy to break. Jade could tell it had to take a lot to bring her down. Whatever she was concealing was definitely wearing her out to have her so distraught. She hesitated with the question debating whether not it was appropriate to ask the brunette. "What is your mom like?" she softly asked drawing back the young Vega's attention.
Brown eyes locked with azure in astonishment. Her lips twitched the slightest as she tried to speak. She had just been thinking about her mother. Had Jade read her mind?
"I mean, you've never really spoken about her. What's she like?" Jade said trying to clarify the question.
Tori nodded, a small smile forming across her lips. She searched in the sea colored eyes in amazement. This woman never ceased to take her by surprise. She always seemed to be at the right place in the right time when Tori needed her to be. Needed? She needed Jade? Tori mentally shook her head. Of course not. She didn't need anyone, especially not the raven haired woman. Her gaze dropped down to her hands in thought. No one ever seemed to care enough to ask about her mother. When she first got sick Cat would occasionally ask about her, but her mother's illness took a hard toll on the brunette and eventually her best friend stopped asking. The only questions ever asked about her were usually related to her illness. No one truly cared enough to ask, really ask about her mother.
"She's an amazing person. I think you'd like her. She's always so positive and so full of energy," Tori answered. She sat on one of the chairs along the wall and motioned for Jade to sit aside her. The smile lingered as she went on. Her treatments have been going pretty well so far, but she didn't want to talk about that. It made it real. Tori had long accepted the dreading illness her mother had, but nevertheless she did everything in her power to avoid such heart aching topic.
"When I was younger I remember always wanting to be like her. I wanted nothing more than to be such an admired woman like her. I tried. I wanted nothing more than to be like her, but it got harder after a while." Her smile fell and animated brown eyes darkened as they looked into blue-green. "She's never been a negative person. She's always saying, 'Everything happens for a reason,'" Tori stopped at that. For a reason, she thought and smiled to herself as she imagined her mother saying those words. "I tried to understand what she meant by it and after she got better I thought that maybe she was right. Maybe the cancer was only serving to make our family stronger, to bring us all together during a difficult time. But now that it's back I don't know what to believe. I thought this chapter in our life was over. I thought she was okay. I…" Tori trailed off and tightened her fist, suppressing all her anger and sadness. She needed to keep herself together. Even with the distance between them, she knew she had to be a strong girl for her mother. Brown eyes looked up when a warm pale hand covered her own.
"Hey, it's okay," Jade assured her. Behind those words Tori somehow knew Jade wasn't referring to her inability to speak. She knew Jade was referring to her being upset. It was okay for Tori to be upset. She gave the pale woman a small thankful smile and nodded.
"It was my freshman year when she was first diagnosed. I had a big image of what I wanted to do. I was rushing for a sorority and I was planning on going off to study abroad for the summer, but before winter break she got sick. I forgot all about my plans. All I wanted to do was see her. Be with her," she sighed remembering how she'd begged her father to let her go home, but he had insisted it was best for her to stay and finish her classes. During her holiday break before Tori had the chance to bring up the topic of staying, her mother made it clear that it would make her feel better knowing that she was in school. She didn't want Tori to fall behind. She assured her daughter she'd be just fine and if she promised to stay in school that she'd beat the disease and make it through the treatments.
"I don't know how she does it Jade. I've done everything possible to go on with my life normally but every time I'm alone with my thoughts I just drives me mad. She's sick. She's back in her treatments. She's…." Tori refused to allow her mind to go beyond that. That last thought was the one that kept her running, the one that drove her into the madness of the dance organization. She did everything possible to avoid that one thought. If anything, at least she was still ahead of it.
Jade squeezed her hand in encouragement. Tori swallowed and sighed. "I remember when my baby bunny Lola got sick, my mom took such good care of her. She made sure to clean her cage every single day. She made sure Lola had enough blankets during the night and even though my dad didn't like the idea she let her sleep in my room." She laughed lightly at the memory of her father scrunching up his face in a disagreeing manner to Lola's presence in Tori's room but nevertheless he said nothing.
"She lasted longer than the vets had predicted and when she finally did go it didn't feel that hard because I at least managed to keep her for a little bit longer. It was only a few months, but I had my Lola," she smiled as tears began to stream down her face. What if that was the case this time around? She'd managed to have her mother healthy for a few years and maybe this time…
"No!" she shook her head trying to rid the horrible thoughts away.
Jade flinched startled by the brunette's outburst. Tori was trembling. She had her eyes shut tightly and was shaking her head furiously. Jade reached out and grabbed the woman's wrist before embracing her and wrapping her arms around her. She was trembling violently as she continued to cry and whisper words to herself. "Jade please make it go away. Please!" Tori cried desperately clutching at the Goth's jacket. She'd been too consumed with forcing her thoughts away she had failed to notice when Jade moved in close to take hold of her. "I can't lose her, Jade. I can't," she sobbed.
"Shh, it's okay, baby. It's going to be okay," she hummed into the auburn locks. She rocked the woman back and forth whispering soothing words into the woman's hair. Jade soon found that she had begun to sing softly in attempt to ameliorate Tori and calm her crying. Brown eyes closed at the sound of the woman holding her singing. It sounded so sweet and beautiful. It was a wonder how the woman had gone undiscovered with such a treasuring talent. The words of the woman's singing filled the large room relaxing the slowly fading cries of the brunette.
"Please hold on, it's alright. Please hold on, it's alright. Please hold on," she softly sang. It was one of the pale woman's favorite songs. During her senior year she recalled hearing it for the first time and instantly falling in love with the bittersweet song. She felt a heavy heart of sadness overcome her as she found the lyrics were so easily related to the woman in her arms. She deeply wished that wasn't the case. If anything the brunette deserved to be happy not broken, because that's what she was. Like the woman in the song who so desperately wanted to find happiness and push away all the pain.
Jade now understood why the woman was always so busy. Despite the assignment free days Tori always seemed to be running around, literally. She was either out jogging most of the day, at work filling in long night shifts, or working to coordinated the upcoming ball. Jade knew most of this information through Cat. She'd grown worried about her best friend but there never seemed to be time to confront Tori about it. She was always busy.
Jade had tried countless of times to talk to the brunette and though their friendship had grown to a reasonable level, she always wished Tori could stick around long enough to sustain at least an half an hour's worth of a conversation, but at the most all Jade could get was fifteen minutes from the brunette. She'd been worried about her since her breakdown at the park. It was clear from that day that Tori was holding back something more, something that was taking a great toll on her and affecting her greatly. She didn't know how much more Tori could handle. Did she have a breaking point? She was certainly reaching it and though she knew Tori was trying to push her away by persisting that she was just stressing and tired, Jade wasn't going to quit. She wasn't going anywhere. She hoped Tori knew that.
Taking note that her singing was working Jade sighed taking a small breath before continuing. "When you fall apart, dry your eyes, darling dry your eyes." She stroked her soft brown locks brushing aside the strands covering the beautifully tanned skin face. "Life is always hard for the Belle of the Boulevard," she sang softly stroking away the slowly ending tears. Why did life have to be so hard? Jade's intention had not been to break down the woman. She wanted Tori to talk to her about what was bothering her. She wanted to know what was taking her sleep away, what was causing her to toss and turn and night and rise early in the morning before Jade even had the chance to see her. She just wanted Tori to talk.
She noticed the woman's trembling had finally ceased and her breathing had evened out. Jade angled her head to the side to look down at the now sleeping brunette. She was exhausted. The crying must have drained the last bit of energy Tori had managed to contain. Jade couldn't help but smile as she looked at the peacefully sleeping brunette. The last time she'd seen the woman in a tranquil state had been the day they'd been at the bookstore. Had Tori made time to go back to the store? Jade tried to recall the last time she'd seen the woman at her work place. She frowned when she couldn't.
Jade lifted the brunette's legs and rested them over her lap. Hooking her arm around the woman's waist she adjusted the brunette's body so her head rested against her sweater covered shoulder. She hugged the woman closer and moved to be in the position where Tori's body was fully resting against her own in a cradling manner. The woman was surprisingly light. Jade couldn't help but frown in knowing all the obsessive jogging was responsible for it.
Blue eyes took in the serene expression of the brunette. A small smile found its way across the rosy lips. She was truly beautiful. Unconsciously Jade found herself leaning down to brush her lips over the caramel colored temple. Tori needed to hold on to any hope she had left, even if it was the tiniest bit. She noticed how guarded the brown eyes had appeared when the reported had asked her what she hoped to see. Had Tori really lost all hope? Jade could only hope not. She could only hope it wasn't too late to give her hope.
"Please hold on, it's alright. Please hold on," Jade quietly hummed. "Please."
A/N: Well what did you think? Sooner right? Kinda-ish (:
There's a ball coming? Hmm that should be interesting ;]
Songs were: I'm not that Girl by Idina Menzel from the musical Wicked &
Belle of the Boulevard by Dashboard Confessional
I was a bit hesitant to post this up, seeing as this story maybe on the verge of dying out without any readers.
I'm already working on the next chapter but I'm not too sure if I'll be posting it.
Please let me know if you think I should continue. I would more than love to do so.
Review please! It always encourages! ;1