Alright! Here's a really funny one, and thanks for all the reviews, everyone! This is actually getting by far better than I had originally hoped, so...
Kudos for everyone!
Crisper: Yay! Kudos! (eats a Kudos)
Me: No! You don't eat them!
Crisper: Oh.
Me: Anyways, The Demon of Sloth writes 6 and 8 wants to run a business selling eggs, but sadly nobody buys their eggs, so they consult 15 and 20. 15 helps by advertising their business by dressing up in a chicken suit giving out flyers and whatnot, while 20 starts cooking eggs (fried, steam etc.) and shoves them in the mouth of unfortunate bypassers.
While 6 and 8 chill behind the counter waiting for money to roll in.
Me: Convert dat!
Crisper: Okay! (converter noises)
Ding!
Milo and Olivia wants to run a business selling eggs, but sadly nobody buys their eggs, so they consult Benedict and Axel. Benedict helps by advertising their business by dressing up in a chicken suit giving out flyers and whatnot, while Axel starts cooking eggs (fried, steam etc.) and shoves them in the mouth of unfortunate bypassers.
While Milo and Olivia chill behind the counter waiting for money to roll in.
Me: Benedict the chicken dressed up as a chicken?
Crisper: (shrugs)
Me: Meh! Normal regular MCSM activity. Hit it, Crisper!
Crisper: (hits it)
It is morning. Everyone is at the breakfast table eating eggs. Delicious eggs. With bacon!
"Hey, guys, I was really questioning if we could, y'know... start a business of sorts." Olivia randomly suggests much to Ocelott's usual amusement. Jesse turns to face her from across the table.
"But Olivia, we HAVE started a business! And we're rich, rich, rich!" He shouts, standing up and getting money-eyes and dollar-skin.
"Yeah, not since Aiden stole our revenue to fund his jacket-stand." As the words escape Olivia's mouth, a tired, crabby Aiden walks in from the front door, grumblin to himself.
"What's up, Aiden?" Lukas asks.
"Nobody wants to buy my jackets! What the heck am I supposed to do with them?! There's, like, 9,000 of them!" He shouts angrily.
"What?! 9,000?!" Lukas questions enthusiastically, much to Minecraftia's annoyance. Aiden annoyedly rolls his eyes before walking into another room and slamming the door shut behind him.
"Well, looks like we've gotta go on another treasure hunt, guys." Jesse concludes. Groans all around.
"Last time we went on a treasure-hunt, I almost got my eyeballs jabbed out!" Axel complains.
"Silly Axel! You didn't really almost get your eyeballs jabbed out! That was just a hallucination from staying in the Poison Alley for too long!" Jesse reminds him with a lighthearted air.
"Exactly my point. I'm not going, not today!"
"Okay... well, it looks like you've got a business to start, Olivia!" Jesse finally says before shaking her hand.
((Timeskip brought to you by Business Companies!))
"Alrighty, so we've got our inventory, so let's get started." Olivia placed down a table and started putting a few plates out. A little girl walks up to the table, eyeing them suspiciously before smiling and asking:
"What're you doing?" Milo smiles at her and is about to answer when- "AAAAH! CREEPY PERV-EYES!" She screams presumptiously before running off. "MOMMYMOMMY!" Milo watches her leave with a shocked expression on his face.
"I... have no idea what the heck just happened, but the show must go on!" Olivia shouts before pulling out a fry-cooker to Milo's dismay.
"Well you're going to become a great business. You've already got the general carelessness of others' feelings down. The rest should come naturally." He mutters to himself before helping Olivia lay out the supplies. After a few minutes, everything is set up and Olivia and Milo's Eggs is open for business!
An old woman, frail and presumably about to keel over with arthritis hobbles up to them and looks at their wares for a few moments.
"Now what would you two lovelies have to sell today?" She asks, looking right at the eggs. Milo shoots Olivia a confused look before she turns to face the woman.
"They're eggs, ma'am." She replies as kindly as possible.
"Kegs?!" She shouts, obviously offended. Olivia is about to say something but is cut off by a whack to the head with the old lady's walking cane. "Why you bootlegging whippersnappers! What a shameful business to be in! Back in my day, Banquet chicken pot-pies cost ten cents a meal! Things were better then, but now we have slimy little cheats doin' anything for a bit 'a green!" She fumes before hobbling away as quickly as she can, which to say isn't so fast at all. Of course Milo ends up having to help her across the street in the end, an action which is awarded with a knock to the face.
A slightly flustered Milo walks back to Olivia and takes a seat next to her behind the stand.
The sun continues to bake over them for the next five minutes before their second visitor stops by. Who is it, you ask? It's Ocelott!
Olivia's eyes widen and she forms a small grin. Who would be nicer and more willing to spend money on something as useless as eggs that Ocelotticus Randomm? Ocelott walked up to the stand before looking at the eggs.
"Ew! Gross!" She shouts at the yellow mounds.
"What?! What's wrong?!" Olivia shouts worriedly, standing up along with Milo and inspecting the eggs.
"Your lemonade... it's CURDLED!" She screams, getting everyone's attention.
"Curdled lemonade? How the heck did they manage to screw that?!" One asks his friend.
"It's not lemonade! They're eggs, everybody!" Milo shouts loudly to try to get back on the world's good side.
"Lies! Lies and more lies!" The old woman from earlier shouts, obviously out for a little revenge. "It's cuuurdleeeed!" She shouts so passionately that she passes out from the exertion.
"Look! It's even got little maggots in it!" Ocelott pokes on of the egg's peppercorn kernels, freaking out afterwords! Then a truck of FBIFDAs rush onto the scene with very large guns! Magnus hops out of the car with a really big black homing launcher!
"EVERYBODY STAND DOWN!" He screams before firing the large weapon right at Olivia and Milo's Eggs. The missile booms toward them before the Death Bowl Announcer suddenly hops on Magnus's back.
"THIS IS BOOOMTOOOOWN!" He screams before Olivia and Milo's Eggs is blasted to smithereens, gammit! After the carnage is created, Magnus runs off while making obviously fake horse-noises with the Death Bowl Announcer cheering loudly as he rides piggyback.
Meanwhile Olivia falls to the gloor crying.
"WHY DOES EVEYTHING WRONG HAPPEN TO ME?! I ALWAYS MESS UP AND NOTHING'S GOING RIIIGHT!" She wails to Milo's shock. Milo slowly attempts to touch her back in a sort of friendly, comforting way which she kindly refuses. "No wait, Milo, I'm not done yet- WHHHYYYYY!?" She wails before collapsing into the fetal position while sucking her thumb.
Milo walks away and returns with Benedict and Axel.
"Olivia! Guess what? Axel and Benedict are going to help us sell our eggs!" He cheers happily. Olivia instantly quits crying.
"WE'RE GONNA BE FILTHY RICH!" She screams with money-eyed goodness. Axel snaps his fingers and boom! The place is fixed up! He slaps a chicken-suit onto Benedict. Why, though? She's already a chicken. Here's why: If your mascot is wearing an animal-costume, people will buy your product. It's kind of like the plastic-bottle theorem.
Axel fires up the grill only to turn it off and start the oven. He starts frying the eggs when a curious player walks by. This player watches Benedict hop around in her chicken-suit, wondering why a chicken is wearing a chicken suit. He is about to ask before Axel grabs him by the shoulders and crams a plate of eggs into his mouth.
"That'll be fifty bucks." He tells the shocked customer. The player, trembling, hands Axel the mulah and runs for his life. "Tell your friends!" Axel shouts after him before turning back to cooking eggs with the same spoon that other guy ate out of. Soon an FDA cop walks up to him.
"Um, you got a permit to be sellin' food to folks?" He asks casually before Axel grabs him by the face and stuffs his mouth full of the yellow curdled-lemonade-y goodness! The cop shouts something through the mouthfull of food.
"That'll be fifty bucks." Axel tells him. The FDA-dude glares at Axel before whipping out his wallet.
"Here's fifty-big ones." He mutters before slamming the money on the countertop. Angrily he walks away. Benedict happily hops around, getting the attention of a few kids. They walk over to the foodstand to watch Benedict do her happy dance. Doing his job, Axel stuffs the kids' mouths with food before an angry woman marches up to the five kids.
"Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you!" She shouts to the toddlers.
"Ma Notch! Stop bein' sucha smother-mother!" The youngest one shouts back.
"Who taught you THAT?! You're, like, two years old! That's sooo OOC!" The woman snaps back.
"These're your kids?" Axel asks.
"Why yes."
"That'll be 250 big ones."
"The heck!" The mother slams the money on the counter before crying out in anger and destruction. Four extra arms splatter out of her body, two on the side and two in her gut-area. She grabs each child by the ear before flying away with her insect wings while the six children plead for their lives in an alien-language. Axel is too busy counting the money to notice.
Meanwhile, Olivia and Milo are lounging back as Axel takes the chicken suit off of Benedict.
"Alright, your shift!" Axel tells them, handing Milo the chicken suit.
"What do you mean? We are on our shift! Waiting for money to roll in is hard work!" Milo replies snobbishly.
"Yeah! Hard, stomach-turning work! Look at what nervousy is doing to my face!" Olivia shouts, showing that her face is wrinklier than an 9,000 year old elephant's behind!
"Oh! That's terrible!" Milo reacts. He sees the money jar. "Well, seeing that you've raised for us 300 dollars, we'll just make off with the money." He grabs the jar of money and walks away, just to bump into Isa and the cops.
"There he is, officers! He's the one who stole my chicken!" Isa accuses, wagging her finger at him.
"And he's stealing my money! My hard earned dough!" Axel adds.
"Well, looks like someone's gonna have to go to jail!" The cop cuffs Milo before glaring at Olivia. "And her, too. Her face is wrinklier than a 9,000 year old elephant's behind! I'm sure that's illegal in some state, right?"
"Nuuu! I can't go back to jail!" Olivia shouts.
"Ha! Jailtime for u!" Axel teases.
"And jailtime for u2, Mr. I Can Sell Food With No Permit. And I saw what you did to our FDA agent. Did you know that he's allergic to eggs?" The officer stares at Axel's wrists and zaps handcuffs onto them using nothing but his eyeballs! Creepy, right?
"NUUUUUUUUUU!" Axel cries before melting into a Rice Krispy.
"Ha! Now you're ALL going to jail!" Isa cries maniacally.
"Eh, you can go to jail too. Just for the fun of it." The cop zaps Isa with handcuffs too.
"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" So in the end everyone goes to jail and the five kids who were stuffed with eggs started possessing egg-slicers.
After a few years of jailtime, Olivia's and Milo's Eggs resurfaced, but they needed nightguards since people kept trying to steal the egg-recipe. Every week, though, the nightguards are split by egg-slicers. Axel becomes Green Guy and Lukas leaves phone-messages before he is sliced by egg-slicers.
Well, that's it for this episode! Tune in next time for another somewhat-sporadic episode of The Random Roulette!
About this somewhat-sporadicness, I'm sorry! Life's been getting a bit busy, updates are few and my sister's wedding is this week, so... y'know, general craziness and AFK-ness is expected. Thanks for reading and reviewing! See you soon!