The thought had been eating away at me from the time Shepard first told me that they had already taken care of Saleon. I had wanted to go on the mission, see how it might turn out, help explain what they might have just seen...but after the...incident, I wasn't really in the position to be asking things from Shepard. So I didn't, and they had left to complete the mission while I was sleeping.

In all honesty, they probably just shot up the mad scientist as soon as Garrus had seen him. And that's exactly what had me worried over the last few days. I didn't know how the scenario had turned out. What decision Shepard had made, what impact it might be having on Garrus. I mean, you had to admit, the dude was impressionable; he was molded by whatever lessons you gave him in the game. And honestly, out of all the people on the ship, I probably felt my most comfortable around him. Which is surprising, to me at least, since he looks the least relatable of them all. I mean he's a freaking alien for god's sake. But regardless of that fact, I've spent most of my time aboard the Normandy (when I wasn't lounging in the bunk room) hanging out with that Turian in particular. And by default, Tali, since they were always working on something in the garage together.

Which was why I guess I was kind of worrying about how the guy was coping with the death of his longtime nemesis. It was an issue that most likely ate away at his conscious every moment while he was still on the Citadel, lurking at the back his mind every day he went to his office at C-Sec. Just addressing it so suddenly might be hard to cope with. So it's reasonable to say that I wanted to see how the guy was faring. But it was still same old, same old. Still the ship's pariah. Still he red-headed step-child of the Normandy. Sit down at the cafeteria table and everyone else gets up sort of deal. At least the petty ones did any way. It was in one of these scenarios I tried for the first and only time to talk to him (or any of the crew members since the incident for that matter) about it.

I finally caught Garrus the next day after Shepard had switched course to Noveria. He was sitting at the cafeteria table, in the middle of eating some funky-looking gangly thing. I had woken up fairly early that day, for no reason in particular, and just happened to spot him sitting alone. As soon as I started to approach him though, he turned his head slight enough so that I could see the corner of his eye. And behind his blue visor, was a narrow slit, barely visible. But in just that small window he gave me, the Turia could still convey that he didn't want anything to do with me. You could see a real hatred burning in them. Real contempt for the person he was staring at. That stopped me in my tracks. I took that food tray and turned right around, right back to the bunk room. And that was the last time I had attempted to talk to ANYONE since the incident. I didn't even bug Felawa anymore.

But I honestly had had enough of it. We were hours away from Noveria -or that's what Joker had said over the cafeteria's intercom at least- and I realized that even if I was able to convince Shepard to take me groundside, what would it matter? Everyone else was still expecting me to put a knife in their backs at the first opportunity apparently. I was now a known liar. Who lied. On multiple occasions. What reason did they have to trust me? Why would they ever?

What I had to do in addition to swaying Shepard was convince the others that I was trustworthy too. Trustworthy enough anyway. If they were expecting me to betray them once we were on the ground, we'd never get anywhere. While one could say then that I should just leave things to them...I couldn't. I suppose I'm a bit of a control freak, and to be completely honest, I'd be bored out of my mind staying here, knowing what was going on below. So it wasn't a real option for me. I HAD to go down with Shepard to Noveria. And honestly, creating trust within the 'squad' seemed like a big priority too. Apparently, the team had enough trouble cooperating together as they did now. Emerson spilled the deets on what had occurred on Binthu when I sat down with him at lunch, back before we hit Nepheron. One distraction and the entire team's attack plan was apparently derailed. The entire mission almost bungled. Or so he claimed.

Regardless of his story's veracity, everyone DID need to trust each other. Needed to work together as a single unit. As one body. One. Efficient. Killing machine. A machine that never missed a beat. Heart beat. The heart beats of those who crossed us. Forcing those who did to submit. A force of unstoppable reckoning. A force so powerful that-

Okay, I think we get the point.

Anyways, we'd never get through the rest of the game if we couldn't. Which led to the reason why I was currently exiting the elevator into the garage, and walking toward the Turian who was currently atop the Mako. Vakarian was laying across its mass accelerator, messing with the wiring of it or something. I couldn't quite see what he was doing from where I was...not that I would even know if I could. And as usual, Tali was typically standing near the console below him, tapping away on it. And I could overhear their conversation as soon as I had entered the garage.

"If only I could calibrate this thing as well as my rifle..." Garrus grumbled from atop.

"I'm sure Shepard wouldn't mind if it's a little off. It certainly won't matter when she's firing it at an armature-class unit," she replied looking up to him.

"You'd be surprised. If the shot's even a single meter off when fired on a mission - that could be the difference between a pile of ash and Saren activating the conduit."

"I suppose...hey Garrus?"

"Yeah?"

"...if you don't mind me asking...how do you feel about hunting Saren?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hunting a Turian I mean."

Garrus took a moment from what he was doing to look down at her. "I'm glad I've gotten the chance to. Saren is either a traitor or a madman. Both a slight against my people. Taking him down would restore the good name of Turians everywhere."

"Oh," she replied taking a minute to pause. "...things are different on the Flotilla. There are so few of us. We are expected to be loyal, even when it is difficult. Going rogue is almost unheard of."

I was close enough to lean against the back of the Mako now, waiting for my turn to talk. I didn't want to rudely interrupt them just yet. Though I guess some popcorn would have been nice.

"Although that's because of the Geth isn't it," Garrus responded. "Your people can't afford civil disputes. Not when the Geth threaten the existence of your entire race. But the quarians endangered more than just themselves when they were created. I hope your people are properly contrite, Tali." He seemed to say the last part teasingly. Although it probably wasn't really the best topic to joke about.

"What!" she suddenly boomed furious. "Hope that we're contrite?! You don't think we know the consequences of our actions? That were not aware of these suits we have to wear? That we don't realize we lost our homeworld to the Geth every day of our lives aboard the Flotilla!?"

"Wait. Tali. I didn't mean-"

"Are the Turians properly contrite for releasing the Genophage upon the Krogan?!"

"Well...you're assuming that sterilizing them was a mistake..."

I glanced across the garage to find Wrex absent from his usual hangout. Thank god.

"Ugh!"

Tali spun around and marched away from the vehicle. Furiously. Although it was kind of hard to tell with the suit and all. Garrus now sat upright atop the Mako, utterly baffled by the sudden turn of events. Several seconds passed before he noticed me below him. Then he went back to tinkering with the Mako's cannon.

"Garrus."

"What do you want," he said without looking back down.

Now that I was standing there though, my mind drew a blank. "Uh-"

What was I planning to say?

"-what was that about?" I just ended up asking tactlessly. Garrus seemed to pause for a moment, slightly turning his head to look at me. Then he returned to poking around the Mako's armament, choosing to just ignore me instead. I waited there for a couple more moments hoping he was just finishing something up. But I gave up after five full minutes passed. "The Silent Treatment? Really?"

Nothing.

"Garrus."

Zip.

"Garrus!"

Nada.

"GARR-"

"SHUT UP!" Ashley yelled across the room.

I looked in her direction and gave a smile and quick wave. Then I turned my eyes back to the Turian who just continued to mess with the Mako's gun.

"Garrus."

"I don't think he wants to talk dude," Felawa said, still standing behind me as usual.

"Shut up Felawa," I retorted. "Why don't you give me some space. I'm not running off anywhere anytime soon," I added motioning to the garage around us. "Think you can go talk to Dan about getting supplies or...something until I'm done?"

He scratched his neck, looking around cautiously, before deciding to just take my advice and walk away. And with that out of the way, I returned my attention to Garrus.

"...I can understand why you, all of you, are angry with me alright? I lied to you. Lied to all of you...but what I don't understand is why the hell you all still are. Mad that is. I mean I told Shepard the truth." Nope. "I laid it all out in the open for her this time, alright?" Lies. "The ONLY reason why I even lied in the first place though was to protect you guys from it. The truth that is." You did it to protect yourself you selfish bastard. "Garrus. If you knew the reason why I did what I did, then you'd agree with me that-"

He suddenly landed right before me and pointed a talon toward my face. "What I know is that you sold us out. Lied to Shepard. Put our whole mission in jeopardy-"

"What? I-"

"-And that Shepard still kept you around after it. If you ask me, we should have left you on the last back-water station we came across. You betrayed us all to the Broker and still got off scot-free. Just because-"

"Betrayed you to the Broker? What the hell are you talking about."

The Turian's tirade suddenly pumped its brakes. "You've been feeding the Broker reports and files that Shepard's been sending to Alliance Command."

"...What!? No! Where the hell did you hear that!?" I asked belligerently, looking at him like he was daft.

"I...you work for the Broker don't you?"

"Well...I mean... that's what I've been fibbing about, yes...wait, so no. It's a long story."

"What-"

"No, I don't work for the Broker."

"...You don't?"

"No. I don't."

"Wait," he said, holding out his claws to me. "If you weren't selling us out to him, then why the hell did Shepard apprehend you several days ago?"

I'm sure I looked as confused as he did now. "...Shepard didn't tell you?"

"No. Serviceman Tanaka told us what happened several hours later in the mess hall. Said you were giving the Broker vital intelligence on our mission. Stealing Alliance intel."

"Bullshit!" I responded angrily. "The hell I did!"

"But then why did Shepard take-"

"It was because the Broker told her that I didn't really work for him. That I was...lying to you guys about who I was."

"Then why did Tanaka say what he did?"

Why the hell did he?

"No idea," I responded truthfully.

Garrus eyed me suspiciously before asking his next question. "But that just begs the question...what are you really doing here then?"

"I..." I took a pause. For a second, I really contemplated it. Telling him the truth. That I had no idea who I really was. What I was doing. Where I even really was. That I'm apparently freakin' insane and imagining that I'm in a video game. That and all the other cliches.

But in the end, there was only one thing I was really here to do. I wasn't here for myself. I wasn't here to clear my own conscience. I was here to make sure we succeeded. That we succeeded in bringing down Saren. Though it was probably just to sate my own satisfaction to say that I took a part in the story. Regardless, we could only do that in the end with trust. Which I could only regain through one way. Which was ironically, by telling a lie. "I can't. It's the whole reason why I lied to Shepard on being an agent of the Shadow Broker in the first place."

Garrus scoffed. "Of course." He began to turn back around.

"It's because I knew who he was before he became the Broker." That re-piqued his interest in the conversation. "I was in the organization, and I learned something I wasn't supposed to. So he tried to have me killed over it. I left before he could and never looked back...I didn't tell you guys because I didn't want to put you on the Broker's hit list too."

"...really?"

"Really."

We each stood there beside the Mako, silent.

"...Was that the only reason why...is that the reason why everyone's been giving me shit? Because they think I'm a traitor?"

"Yes. I believe so."

"Oh shit..." A good amount of time passed before the next question was asked. "Do you actually believe me Garrus?" I looked him in the eyes as I asked. Not that I could discern his answer from them or anything. His face was unreadable. I did it rather as a way to build trust. Try to establish with him that I was being honest.

"...I do."

I kind of felt shitty for lying straight to his face like that...but to get the job done...

"So...you aren't still mad then?"

"Oh no, I'm still very disappointed that you lied to us Shield. When I asked you what those guys wanted outside of Flux? They were working for the Shadow Broker then, weren't they?"

Was he still on about that-

"-you lied straight to my face. You can't possibly expect me to trust you again after that."

Damn.

I looked down at the floor. "But!" I looked back up with the word. "I understand why you did. I guess in your position...I suppose I might have done the same."

"I'll take that," I said smiling back. "...thanks Garrus."

"Just no more lies from here on out," he said extending his claws to me. I took them in my hand and shook.

"I'll try," I said smirking. His piercing glare told me he wasn't too amused by the response. "Anyways...it looks like I have some explanations to make...to everyone."

"Yeah. I can't imagine why the Serviceman told us that story," Garrus now thought aloud next.

"Me neither," I replied.

"I guess we'll have to ask him another time then. Right now, I should probably get back to work," Garrus said, turning his attention back to the Mako's gun. "I was just in the middle of some calibrations when you stopped by."

"Before you get back to that," I replied just as he was beginning to climb back atop. "Do you need me to talk to Tali for you? She seemed pretty upset."

"What? I...don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, I was just about to talk to her about this next. So you know what, I'll be sure to mention you were sorry when I talk to her."

"Shield wait-"

"Alright cool. I'm sure she'll be thrilled. Nice talk. See you Garrus!"

I pivoted around and began speed walking to engineering. I could hear the Turian let out a sigh behind me. And Felawa's footsteps as he saw me walking away.

She took in a deep breath, slowly letting the air fill her lungs. Then she slowly counted up as she held her breath.

One. Two. Three.

She exhaled, letting the air finally escape. Shepard repeated the exercise twice more, calming herself. Not much else did these days.

They would land on Noveria soon. Confront Saren's ally and his Geth. Maybe even the Turian himself. Shepard suddenly found herself shuddering with excitement just thinking about it. The possible confrontation. Then she cursed, realizing she had just lost her calm. They always taught in ICT that one should steel their nerves, clear the mind before beginning an operation. But that was one of the few lessons that had never really took. Then the elevator doors slid open to reveal Felawa running across the garage floor.

"What the hell are you doing Private?" Then doing a double take, she added, "Where's Shield?!"

"Oh," Felawa said, suddenly stopping himself, face full of shock. "He just went into engineering. I was just-"

"I said don't let him out of your sight Private. Find him."

"Yes ma'am!" he replied, giving a salute. Then he realized he was still just standing there like an idiot, and went back to bolting toward engineering. Shepard just covered her face in response.

I can't even trust him to watch one person. I need to pass guard duty to Raymond.

After the private had left, Shepard continued onward to where she had been initially headed. She stopped just several feet shy of the weapons bench, now noticing that the Chief was talking to someone on her console.

"-Oh before I go, how's it going with what's his name? We saw him on the news here. He's cuuuute. Oh, looks like you have company. Later sis."

Click.

In response to that comment, Ash stiffened and slowly turned around. "Please tell me you didn't just hear that."

"I assume that was your sister?"

"Until I get home and kill her...yeah that was Sarah, the youngest. But I'm guessing you didn't come by to eavesdrop...sir. What's up?"

Shepard placed a hand on her hip before speaking. "I came down to see how your progress was going with maintenance." Ashley raised an eyebrow, seeming to ask why. "We're due to arrive at Noveria in t-minus thirty."

"I heard over the comm...but thirty?"

"That's what the bridge monkeys are telling me," Shepard responded.

"Can't wait," the marine responded, hefting the lancer off the bench. "It has been a long while since I've killed one of those synthetic bastards." She looked through the scope of gun, aiming at the floor, pretending to see something through its sight. Then she looked back up to Shepard furrowing her brow. "Who else is coming with us?"

"Our usual team. Kaidan, Emerson, Wrex, the rest."

Ashley folded her arms now. Apparently Shepard hadn't actually answered her question. "Including the doctor?"

"If you mean Liara, then yes, including the doctor," Shepard replied warily.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Bringing T'Soni I mean."

Shepard returned the marine's stare. "I'm guessing you're still worried whether or not we can trust her."

"Matriarch Benezia is her mother Shepard! Are you sure she won't turn on us given the chance?"

The Chief's worry was well-warranted. Besides Shield, Liara would be the next one to most likely turn on them. Shepard would entirely agree with Williams if it hadn't been for all the times she's talked to the Asari after Therum. Liara's intentions to help them seemed entirely pure. And Shepard rarely made a poor judgement of character.

"Chief. If you talked with her, you'd know that she had no knowledge of what her mother was up to or what she was doing. And she's not lying when she said she wanted to help. I don't think she's even capable of it."

"Aliens are hard to read Commander. That might just be part of the act," the marine replied. Shepard returned her stare. "But even if what the Doctor said was true, when the time actually comes, when T'Soni actually sees her mother...how do we know she won't switch sides? That she'll actually be able to do what's necessary?"

She didn't.

"If it comes to that...and she doesn't come through, then I assure you Williams that I'll be the first to subdue her. And I appreciate your concerns. But you need to trust my judgement."

"Of course Commander, I-"

"I'll allow it here, off the books, but I can't have my subordinates second-guessing my decisions while we're on the field. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

Shepard glanced down to the Kessler on the bench. She picked it up and began examining it. "...we might run into Saren when we're down there."

"I've thought about that Commander."

"If we do, we could end it all today. Saren. The Conduit. The Reapers." Out of the corner of her eye, Shepard noticed that the last part made the marine look skeptical. "Hmph. You don't believe it either do you."

"About what?"

"The Reapers," Shepard responded sternly.

With a sigh, Ashley decided to lay all her cards out on the table. "I mean what you're talking about Shepard...fifty thousand year old beings that'll wipe out all galactic life...it's pretty hard to swallow. In fact, I'm kind of hoping that you're wrong."

Shepard tossed the gun back on the table. "I know it sounds insane, I even doubt it myself sometimes but...but in a weird way...I just know it's true. That that's what the Prothean vision was trying to show me. It's just...a feeling. If we don't stop Saren, the Reapers will return."

"Then we'll stop him before he finds the Conduit Commander."

"I know. Because I'll die before I let that happen. Even if the Reapers really are just a myth. We will stop Saren and the Geth."

Ashley closed her eyes as Shepard uttered the sentence.

"Death closes all. But something ere the end,

Some work of noble note, may yet be done,

Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods."

"Is that Ulysses?" Shepard asked, looking at the marine like she was insane.

"You know it?" Ashley replied shocked, eyes wide open.

"I should be asking you the same," Shepard immediately shot back.

"Just because I'm a marine doesn't mean I can't have a softer side," Ashley quickly blurted. "But my dad used to read it to me all the time. I thought it just fit our situation...I know I question you a lot Commander but...I believe you'll lead us through. With you in charge, Saren and his Geth won't know what hit them."

"Copy that Chief," Shepard replied, giving Williams a slight smile. "Get your hardsuit on and meet me up in the CiC." Shepard looked across the garage. "Vakarian! We're in the Pax system and arriving at Noveria in less than thirty. Suit up!"

"On it!" he yelled back in response to her shouting, quickly hopping off the Mako.

Shepard looked back to Ashley. "Make sure you let Tali know too."

"Let Tali know what?"

Shepard grinded her teeth as she heard his voice. She turned around and asked in an extremely scathing tone, "What are you doing down here."

"Just talking with the crew," Shield replied, looking around innocently. "...Why are you down here?"

"It's my ship," she growled. "I can do whatever the hell I want."

"...right," he replied.

"Shield was clearing up what happened several days ago," the Turian added walking over.

"Clearing up what?"

"Apparently Tanaka was spreading lies about what happened," Shield spoke. "Told everyone I sold you all out to the Broker. Not sure why-"

"Yeah," Shepard responded coldly. "It was because I told him to."

"What?...Why?!" he gawked.

"Because like you said, what happened needs to stay on a need to know basis. Everyone's safety would have been put in jeopardy if we told them about your...'origins'."

"But if Shield didn't really do any harm to our mission, why did you say he did something so extreme?" Garrus asked.

To alienate Shield from you all. Make sure he didn't have the chance to ingratiate himself with the crew. Make it easier to rally everyone against him if I need to in the future. We still don't know his allegiance. Not really.

But she acknowledged that he didn't need to know that. He might have had the vision and said he wanted to stop Saren too but...it scared her that she couldn't actually get a read on him anymore. His face didn't betray anything that day.

"Because we needed a plausible reason to have done what we did," she responded. "Everyone would have questioned it otherwise. We need to keep the...'truth' on a need-to-know basis." The Turian seemed to accept that answer.

"Woah, what are you guys talking about?" Williams asked bewildered.

"I'll brief you later Williams," Shepard responded. "But if that's all, I want you two ready to go when we dock."

"Yes sir," Ashley and Garrus responded, immediately making their way to their lockers to prepare.

Shepard had time to only take four steps toward the elevator however before Shield spoke up again. "Hey Shepard, I wanted to ask you something."

She turned back around annoyed. Felawa stood behind Shield at a distance, wary of getting any closer to the two. "What."

"I want to be on the ground team."

"I don't care what you want," she replied. "You're not leaving this ship."

"Okay, let me rephrase that. I'm going to be on the ground team."

In response to his impudence, Shepard felt her face contort in rage. "...Excuse me?"

"Shepard, Noveria is my world. Back room deals, sketchy contacts, illegal stuff. My forte. I know the area. How to maneuver around all that. Without me, you'll just get bogged down by red tape."

"I'm a Spectre," she simply replied. "There is no red tape."

"Shepard. Without authorization, they won't even let you land. Hell, even if we do, they'll only give you a meeting out of courtesy. Let alone anything we actually want...I know half the people at our dock. If I come with you, we'll find Benezia in no time, I promise."

"And why the hell should I believe you?" He actually paused, taking a moment to think the question over. She looked away exasperated. "Stop wasting my time-"

"Captain Matsuo. That's the name of the Hanshan's security detail leader. An Asian women working for Elanus Risk Control. If we don't have authorization to dock ahead of time, she'll come out to greet us with a Turian and a Blonde...I don't remember their names."

"And?" she remarked.

"Uh...because if I'm right...then that'll show you I know my way around. That I know the place AND everyone in it pretty much inside and out. If I'm wrong, I'll go right back to the Normandy and you won't have to worry about me bothering you about going groundside ever again."

She took a deep breath and started massaging her temples. "Whatever. Fine. Grab your stuff and follow them upstairs." She waved a hand half-halfheartedly to Ashley and where Garrus had just been originally kneeling. She didn't really have anything to lose from the decision. Because if Shield was right, and could actually help, as far fetched as that was, great. They didn't have time to waste. But if he tried something, attempted to take off or get in the way of finding Benezia...she'd finally have reason enough-

He practically jumped in the air with glee as soon as she spoke. "Yes! Awesome! You won't regret this Shepard. You made the right decision!"

"I hope so...for your sake," she warned him. Shepard then turned her attention back to Felawa. "Go tell Emerson that he'll be on the ship's security detail while we're here."

"Uh...alright ma'am," Felawa said with a salute.

She really hoped she wouldn't regret this. Shield was already going through the contents that had been sealed away in his locker by the time she turned back around, beginning to prepare his things alongside Ashley and Garrus.

If only she had known then...

Codex Entry:

Doctor Heart's Logs

Recording 2-025

Specimens reacted violently to the addition of 1.5 mg methyl-aminophalomine in the current experimental cocktail. They seem to become feral, unresponsive to any type of stimuli other than touch and sound. This nature manifests in every specimen of every group procured. I've had to euthanize Experimental Group C as they started regurgitating the entire contents of their stomachs until death. I'll have to wait for another batch of specimens to be delivered from Omega. Further note to self: Add binding agent to prevent this in future trials.

Recording 3-001

Every specimen (aside those inside the Control Group) are reacting obediently to my spoken commands. My brilliance reveals itself once again. Any organic species can be subjugated to your whim once they've been properly conditioned. The only side effects of my treatment seems to be the gross disfigurement of the subject's appearance, shedding their epidermis and/or carapace, and having the rods and cones in their optic nerves utterly deteriorate. This seems negligible in light of the fact that they still can receive and process the commands given to them. I'll have the attention of the galactic public once I release my findings. I have unlocked the ability to impose one's will on others. Soon, I'll have the attention of all those infinitely my lesser. I will transcend names such as Lennos, Kromaskas, and Beordin. MY research will bring about a new age. MY work will be what propels our societies into the next epoch of glory. I'll have every government in this collective crawling on their knees, kissing my feet, begging me and me alone for my research! It is solely I, Saleon, who holds the key to the greatest discovery since the mass relays!

Recording 3-003

Intruders, snakes, rats, have come to steal my research. Months of testings, hundreds of trials, MEANINGLESS! Pirates, rivals, STG? It doesn't matter. They're just jealous of my brilliance. I won't let them take it. My research is mine. Now it comes time to show them what the fruits of my labor have born to bear. These kepta will be squashed under my pads. Experimental Groups A through C are now being released!

The command I have given them you ask?

Kill those that would threaten my life's work! I will not be ruined by the likes of these insects! They have made a grave transgression stepping foot upon my threshold for greatness_

_Return to Main

_Enter Command

*Delete File: Thanatosis*

_Completed

_Enter Command.

*Initiate Self-destruct*

_Completed.

_Countdown T-Minus: One minute.

_59.

_58.

_57-

Author's Notes:

Yeah making up for last week didn't happen. So I've been re-editing some chapters as a concession (or I guess making them flow just a tad better). I kind of want to feel like I'm making some progress with how slow the writing's been going as of late. But things should start kicking back off once we're off the ship. Your guess on what Shield thinks he can exactly do off it is as good as mine. And the Normandy team so far really likes taking down scientists with ethically-questionable practices. Noveria probably won't be an exception.

In the Next Chapter: Corporate scandal. Industrial espionage. Nabbing the Naughty Ne'er-do-wells on Noveria.

Tune in next time on Mass Effective: A Hero Made