Author's Note!
Welcome, welcome, welcome back to another episode of The Random Roulette!
Everyone: (is asleep)
Me:... WAKE UP, WORLD!
Everyone: (jumps awake)
Old man: It's about dagnabbit time!
Me: I know, I know. First, I'd like to apologize for the lack of updates lately. Life got in the way, as usual, as well as writer's block. As with a few of my other stories, I was losing interest in writing, but here I am for TRR!
Crisper: What about TCoaL?
Me: Well, TCoaL's a mess, in my opinion. I need to stand back, take a long look at it, and see what I can do. I'm in ruts deeper than the hole in Chicago with that story, but I don't think I'll be dropping it. That aside, let's look at today's suggestion!
LegoTerraWarrior says:
10 wants to play hide and seek with 4, but 4 makes them count to 10...kabillion, while they do something else. (Don't ask, it's just a very very very high number.) If you don't want to do that, just make 7 and 1 sugar high and 12 and 14 drunk.
Me: Throw it in the converter and we get…
Crisper: (converts it)
Soren wants to play hide and seek with Gamerwhogames (hey, that's me!), but she makes him count to 10 kabillion while I do something else. If you don't want to do that,
just make Jessica and Lukas sugar high and Ocelott and Axel drunk.
Me:... why not both?! I'll have to swap out the alcohol with something else because… (looks anxiously at parents) yeahhh… anyways, hit it, Crisper!
Crisper: (hits it)
It is a fine day in Jesse's hometown where Gamer is in her room fangirling about pictures of her favorite trashboy whose name you may or may not know.
"AAAAAAAHHHHH! FANGIRLINGNESS! WOOO!" She screams before she hears some knocks on her door. She stops screaming and quickly shoves all of her pictures, phone-numbers, nets and bear-traps back under her bed before running to the door and opening it.
Soren stares at Gamer with fascination and awe and she shrinks under his gaze.
"Uhhh… hey…." She greets. He only stares back, actually looking a bit scared.
"What's that in your hair?" He asks. Gamer sends him a weird look before reaching into her brown, short hair to find a hand sticking out of it. At first, she shrieks in surprise, but her face quickly contorts into one of anger and fury. She grabs the hand, giving it a hard tug before throwing Ocelott out of her hair and onto the floor.
"Oooo." Ocelott says as Gamer glares at her.
"Stop that, Ocelott! What have we told you about hiding in hair?!"
"Nothing." Ocelott replies before standing up and smiling at Soren. She soon takes off for the kitchen, leaving the two behind. Soren sighs with relief before turning to face Gamer.
"Would you like to play hide and seek with me?" He asks. Gamer sends him an odd look.
"Uhhh… why?" She asks, thinking it weird that he's randomly playing hide and seek.
"It'll be fun! I'll count!"
"Who else is playing?" She asks curiously.
"Oh, that's the thing." He replies, chuckling nervously, "It'll just be you and me." He says, suddenly grabbing the flustered gamer's hand, making her stare back with wide, nervous eyes. "Come on, it'll be fun!" He adds.
(Me as I'm writing: (chuckles) This is weeeeiird.)
Gamer puts on a cheesy, fake-grin, a grin that he took for a pleased one, and nods her head.
"Good… so, how long do you think you'll need to hide?" He asks. Gamer stops to think… like Dora, maybe.
"Umm… what happens if you find me?" She asks, trying to stall for time.
"You'll see." He replies.
"Th-then, in that strikingly odd case, count to 10 kabillion!" She suddenly blurts, making the smile on his face go bye-bye. Everyone say 'bye-bye, baby!'.
You (the reader): No.
Okay, then.
"But that's such a big number. It's twenty-billion."
(It is. I looked up the greek word Ka, which has a numerical amount of 20. Thus, 20-billion.)
"No, Soren. It's twenty-billion time ten. It's two-hundred-billion. So you'd better get counting! I'll go hide!" Gamer said, giving him a hearty pat on the shoulder before running off.
She runs down the hall, hearing Soren counting by her room.
Outside, Phineas and Ferb are singing 'Run, Candace, Run', but swapping out "Candace" with "Gamer". Feeling high and motivated, she runs on, not looking where she's going before slamming into Lukas with the force of a 6242 ocelot!
"Why was I running? He's still got two-hundred-billion minus thirty seconds left." She mutters to herself before Olivia walks up to them, and intelligent smile on her face.
"Technically, that's one-hundred and ninety-nine billion, nine-hundred and ninety-nine million, nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and seventy." She informs before Lukas stands to his feet.
"You know the difference between your opinion and the pizza?" He asks, offending Olivia a bit.
"No." She answers indifferently before Lukas grabs her by the shoulders.
"Your opinion IS pizza! PIZZAAAA!" He shouts before swinging Olivia and Gamer, knocking the two girls to the floor.
"What the heck, Lukas!" Gamer shouts, whipping out an iron-axe, ready to defend herself if needed. But her axe is soon thrown to the wind by Jessica who appeared out of nowhere, scaring the living daylights out of the defenseless girl.
"Don't kill people! Killing is bad!" She scolds before throwing the axe to the wind, scaring the two girls even more.
"You wanna come with Jessica and I to the land of magic?" Lukas asks with a huge smile.
"N-no thanks. I was playing hide and seek with… Soren." She cringes as she remembers her previous encounter with the Ender-man. Get it? Because he… oh, nevermind!
"What's he counting to?" Lukas asks.
"Two-hundred-billion." She replies.
"Hmmm… billion… hey, remember when Trump got a small loan of a million dollars?" Jessica asks Lukas.
"No." He says before Jessica twists his ear. "Oh! I do! In fact, I'm going to ask him for a medium loan of a billion dollars!"
"Or a medium large loan of ten kabillion dollars!" Jessica adds before Lukas pulls Gamer into a hug.
"Aaugh! What're you doing?!" She shouts as his grasp grows tighter and tighter.
"Please? I really want you and Olivia to come to the land of magic with us!" He whines as he quite possibly chokes the life out of Gamer.
"Yeah, it'll be fun!" Jessica says.
"That's what Soren said!" Gamer wheezes. "Seriously, you've got to let go before you kill someone."
"What are you talking about?!" Olivia shouts. "He's the fandom cinnamon-roll! You're sooo lucky right now!"
"But he's not trashboy!" Gamer whines back before Lukas immediately lets go.
"Trashboy?... let's play a game! I'm calling it Trashboy!" Jessica shouts before grabbing a nearby trashcan. She throws it over her head and at an old, frail man who happened to be walking by. He yelled when it collided with his back and he fell onto a random mattress.
"Honey, I told you I don't need a nap! Leave me alone!" He shouted to whom he thought was his angry wife. Lukas laughed out loud before whipping a trashcan from behind his back.
"Trashboy!" He shouted, throwing it at a man who is driving a bus down the road. The can hits the bus, ricochets off of it and onto Ocelott who is sitting in the middle of the road thinking amazing thoughts.
"Owwie!" Ocelott whines, doubling over in pain.
"Oh no! It's called Trashboy, not Trashgirl, Lukas!" Jessica screams before running after Ocelott. Lukas gives a sour wail before running away sobbing, a sea of fangirls running after him. Gamer sighs and turns to run for her life before a sadly familiar voice calls.
"Two-hundred-billion! Ready or not, here I come!" He shouts.
"HOW IN HECK DID YOU COUNT THAT FAR THAT QUICKLY?!" She shouts frantically, accidentally alerting him of her presence. He gives her an odd look that is soon replaced with a mischievious grin.
"I found you. Here I come!" He says slowly and in a sing-song voice. Gamer screams and takes off running. She takes off running down the street, totally oblivious to the cars and trucks that swerve around her in a mad attempt to, well… not hit a scared girl who's a bit too old to be running mad down the streets but is.
Meanwhile in Somewhereland….
"There, there, Ocelott." Jessica says, trying to ignore Lukas bouncing up and down while squealing into her ears. "We won't play Trashgirl anymore." She says before playing with the girl's brown hair. Ocelott stops crying when she sees Axel running up to her with a huge candy-cane. Ocelott screams and starts running around in circles, with Lukas and Jessica doing the same.
"I'm the Candy Man!" Axel shouts before pulling out a bottle of Nyanide (y'know, from TCoaL C34-35). Ocelott grabs the bottle from him and guzzles its remains down. Soon, Nyan Cat starts playing loudly in the background and Axel and Ocelott start slowdancing to it while Lukas and Jessica stare and start fastdancing!
"Fun party!" Jessica yells, with Lukas laughing in response, not noticing that Petra's standing right behind him with tears in her eyes. It was as if Chapter 28 had never happened. She runs off screaming and crying, only to return a few minutes later wielding a wooden axe and screaming with rage.
She starts slapping Lukas in the face with it, but Lukas and Jessica are so sugar high that they thinks it's a game.
"Harder! Harder!" Jessica cheers, Petra worsening the blows in response.
"I feel nothing!" Lukas shouts blissfully.
Meanwhile, Ocelott and Axel continue slow-dancing to one of the fastest songs in the world. Axel suddenly stops as Gill walks outside, whistling a witty tune. Ocelott stares in shock when Axel gets down on one knee and pulls out a red box.
"Ocelotticus Randomm," He begins, "Will you marry me?!" He shouts.
"Yay! I'm turning into a Marry!" Ocelott says, taking the ring from him and running up to Gill. "Look! I found a diamond!" She says, handing him the ring. He gasps in surprise and breaks the ring with his bare hands and holding up the diamond.
"Hmmm… nah, it's too small." He says, throwing it onto the street. They walked off, hand in hand, while Petra smacked the living daylights out of Lukas and Axel slow-danced with Jessica who was standing there while Soren chased Gamer.
The end.
So, yeah! So glad to be cranking this chapter out! Uh… bad-good news. Tomorrow's the start of NaNoWriMo! (confetti explodes) Ouch!
Crisper: (winks)
Me:... yeah… so, that means that I won't be writing for the Roulette anytime soon, but who knows? Maybe I will, but that's a very slim maybe. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this! Gillott FTW! (more confetti explodes, pushing me off a nearby cliff) AAAAAHH!
Crisper: Bye, everyone! (closes it)