Author's Note:
Alright! At long last I'm finally back to the Random Roulette, or at least for this now. I've got some new rules I'd like to set in place, but before that I'll get to an episode to keep everyone happy for now! But don't worry too much about those rules. It's nothing too serious. Well, anyways, Luna96 writes
10 Puts on the song 'Pen pineapple apple pen' Much to 5, 8, and 9's annoyance. Then, 5, 8, and 9 chase 10 to make him/her turn it off.
Crisper: This annoying song?!
Me: Crisper! How DARE you! This song is how the Earth was created! It's magnificent!
Crisper: (stunned silence… converts it before things get too awkward)
Soren Puts on the song 'Pen pineapple apple pen' Much to Aiden, Isa, and Ivor's annoyance. Then, Aiden, Isa, and Ivor chase Soren to make him/her turn it off.
Okay, then! Hit it, Crisper!
Crisper: Okay! (hits it)
Soren was always one to have a good taste in music… or at least that's what he wants me to tell you.
~Everyone
It is a beautiful Saturday morning. And by beautiful, I mean 3:00 in the morning. So it is a 3:00 in the morning Saturday morning, which fails to make much sense… but you know what I mean.
Soren is sleeping in bed with an Enderman plushie. In the background, soft jazz music is playing but is drowned out by his monstrous, (literally) house-shaking snoring.
Instead of writing about Soren's destructive sleep habits, I, the author, employ a timeskip.
((Timeskip, brought to you by Le Lexicography!))
As breakfast is being served by Ocelott who kindly volunteered to make eggs and bacon (turkey bacon, for Jesse's sake), Soren walks down the stairs, his orange hair glowing with happiness and energy.
"Did everyone sleep well last night?" He asks, pleasantly taking his seat at the table and not noticing the baggy-eyed glares of the friends and foes surrounding him that morning.
"I am a very good person." Ocelott says to the over-easy eggs as they sizzle, her high pitched voice breaking the intimidating silence.
"I nearly died last night, Soren." Jessica says, taking a bite of toast.
"Yeah, me too." Ocelott fusses.
"Ocelott, what have we said about the lies?" Itscartooncookie asks with a glare.
"To not to."
"Soren, you've gotta stop the snoring." Ellegaard says, pulling out her iBlock. "I'm buying you one of those nose-thingies. Hopefully it'll fit over your beard." She says, muttering the last part. She types quickly with her slender fingers, but gasps in annoyance seconds later.
"What's up, Ellegaard?" Jessica asks before Ellegaard hands her her iBlock.
"It's this dumb video again." She says as the few at Jessica's end of the table gather around to see. On the screen, a yellow man with a neatly cut mustache and strange, yellow clothes is dancing, claiming to have a pen-pineapple-apple-pen.
"Hmm… catchy." Gamer says, hearing the music at the other side of the table.
"I've seen this in my feed all week." Ellegaard complains after the video is over. She takes her iBlock away and starts looking up those noseymabobs that people use.
"That's gonna get annoying really quickly." Maya says as Ocelott dances around the eggs.
"Yep. It'd be a shame if someone decided to play that sound for hours on end." Lukas adds as Ocelott flies around the bacon. Lonely is about to say something, but decides that all has been said and sits quietly instead.
"Breaking the fast!" Ocelott shouts, making plates of food appear in front of everyone. You, the reader, expect me to go into a romantic family-dinner phase, writing about the details of the friends enjoying this meal. But this is Minecraft, the world where men, women and children can devour an entire beef-steak dinner in less than 5 seconds. Understandably, their breakfast is extremely short.
"That was good, Ocelott! Where'd you get the eggs?" Stampy asks after breakfast is over. Ocelott, smiling at first, starts turning pale at the question, fingering her chin in confusion.
"I didn't use eggs." She sheepishly admits before rushing out of the room. Everyone nervously looks at Itscartooncookie, who is reading a parenting catalog entitled "The Dangers of Unbridled Imagination (and Cat-Hybrids)".
"Cookie… what did she do?" Petra asks. Itscartooncookie looks up from the catalog with a bored expression on his face.
"It says here," He points at a section in the magazine, "We need to let her be and update our Medicaid."
((Le timeskip))
Soren sits in front of the computer screen with his insurance card in hand. After turning everything on and getting to the website, he starts to input the information when a sly voice reaches his ears.
"What 'cha doin'?" It asks.
"Oh no you don't! You're not getting me this time, Procrastination!"
"What the- Soren, it's me!" Soren turns around to see Ivor standing behind him with an annoyed glare. "What are you doing? I need to use the computer, stat!"
"I'm updating my Medicaid subscription." He says, pointing at the screen. He feels a cramp in his finger and flinches. He grasps his hand tightly, trying to massage his hand but to no avail.
"Are you okay?" Ivor asks, his voice hinted with concern.
"N-no… I… can't! NOOOOOO!"
"Hey, quiet down over there!" Comes a more feminine voice from the hall. Isa the Founder walks into the room, wearing a golden night-robe with her monogram sewn in black. "I'm trying to power-nap!" She explains to the two men with an angered expression. She looks at Soren and starts to regret yelling at first. "Is he okay?"
"I don't know! Soren, what's wrong?!" Ivor shouts, starting to sound a bit scared.
"I… I can't give in!" Soren shouts, falling to the floor and flailing.
"What?! Can't give in to what?!" Ivor shouts while Isa stands there looking shocked. Aiden then falls through the ceiling, making Isa flinch when he lands right in front of her. He lays there dazedly for a few seconds.
"Are you okay?" Isa asks.
"Oh, I'm fine. It's him I'm worried about. Why do you think I teleported through the ceiling?"
"That's not teleportation." Isa says. Soren suddenly cries out, catching the three's attention. He clambers into his chair.
"I CAN'T GIVE IIN!... but I must!" He says, creating a new tab.
"That's what you nearly died for?!" Aiden shouts in annoyance and frustration. "I fell through fifteen floors and a bathtub for THIS?!" He shouts. Isa looks at him with a stunned face.
"This is a three-story house." She tells him, making him give a shocked expression.
"I didn't know that…."
"Seriously, Soren? What was all that about and you just needed to make a new tab?" Ivor asks, putting his hands on his hips.
"I was struggling between being a useful human being or giving into procrastination… and I failed." He says, logging into YouCube. Ivor groans, rubbing his head in frustration as Isa walks behind the two of them to look at the screen.
"What are you looking up?" She asks as Soren types in some words.
"You know that song Ellegaard played at breakfast?"
"You mean the one with that weirdo with the apple-pineapple long-pen magic?" Aiden asks, standing to his feet and walking behind Isa. Isa sends him a threatening glare and Aiden quickly moves to the side. Ten feet to the side.
"Precisely!" Soren says, hitting play and allowing the music to blare through the speakers.
I have a pen. I have an apple. UUMPH! Apple-pen!
I have a pen. I have pineapple! UUMPH! Pineapple-pen!
Apple pen, pineapple-pen! UUMP!
Pen-pineapple-apple-pen!
After this verse, the yellow-dressed man breaks into a slow, lame dance that somehow pleases the famed architect.
"Owwkaayy? This is weird." Aiden says as they watch.
"Weird? If by weird you mean fantastic!" Soren shouts.
"I think he meant to say 'weird'." Ivor tells him.
I have a pen. I have a pen! UUMPH! Loooong pen!
I have an apple. I have pineapple! UUMPH! Apple-pineapple!
Loooong pen, apple-pineapple! UUMPH!
Pen-pineapple-apple-pen!
And for the second time in a row, the man begins to dance around. After a few more seconds of the strange antics of the Man Without the Yellow Hat, the video finally comes to an end.
"I should have died in Sky City." Isa mumbles to herself.
"What?"
"I said nothing."
Soren is smiling at the screen while Ivor stands there, annoyed. Aiden turns around to leave.
"Well, that was fun and all, but I've gotta practice my teleportation." He says, walking out of the room.
"No! Sit down!" Soren shouts, super-stretching his arms to grab Aiden by the belt-loops and dragging the screaming in surprise boy back to where he previously stood. "We're watching this together!" Soren shouts, sounding like he's going a bit insane.
"Wait, what?! No!" Isa shouts, running off and being secretly glad that she didn't have any belt-loops. But that doesn't stop Soren from grabbing her with his long, orange beard. "Eeeewwe!" She wails as the long hair wraps around her arms and body. Soren then glares at Ivor, daring the older man to leave if he feels like it, a dare which Ivor wisely declines.
"Let's listen to the wonderful music together!" He shouts, starting up a ten-hour version of the poorly-drafted song.
"Soren, you monster!" Aiden shouts, his voice kind of high pitched from his most recent wedgie.
"Yeah! You and your long beard-hair!" Isa shouts. The two of them both look at Ivor.
"You want me to say something?" He asks, sounding unintentionally intimidating. The two mutter a quick 'no' and look away. "Well, alright then." Ivor says as the music continues to play.
Isa tries to block out the music by singing loudly about her life in Sky City while flailing around, accidentally whipping Aiden in the face with Soren's hair. Hearing two songs at once and being whipped around constantly causes him to begin to suffer from overstimulation and he starts crying loudly. Ivor just stands there, staring at the screen, though after a few minutes his eye starts twitching.
Soren, completely absorbed in the wonderful song, has no idea how psychologically damaging his enjoyment is and continues undisturbed.
Within minutes, Isa too begins to break from overstimulation and Ivor's just about had it. Determined not to let Isa or Aiden see his grown-tail cryin' like a wuss, he decides to do something about it.
"Soren, turn this racket off!" He shouts. Soren slowly turns to face him.
"Make me, old man." He says. Then, Ivor loses it.
He freaking loses it.
Not wasting any time, he grabs Soren by the shirt collar, lifting him about a foot off the ground. "First off, I'm not any older than you are! Secondly," He then throws Soren across the room and Isa is magically untangled! "I'm giving you ten seconds to turn off the song." He says. "Ten,"
"Okay, fine. Lemme get back to the-"
"ZERO! GET HIM!" Ivor yells as he, Isa and Aiden give chase. Soren screams like a girl and runs down the hall, Ivor, Aiden and Isa running like heck to get their hands onto him.
Downstairs in the kitchen, Jesse is making a sandwich when Soren rushes in, still hollering. Before Jesse can say anything, Soren snatches le sandwich and throws it onto the floor much to Jesse's dismay.
"What was that for?!" Jesse shouts angrily, putting his hands on his hips. The sound of angry stampeding fills the room and the floor starts to shake. Soren rushes out of the room while Jesse glares at the floor. "I knew I should've stayed in bed." He says. Suddenly-
BANG!
The running three burst into the kitchen and run straight across Jesse, flattening him in seconds! They chase after Soren, rushing past Ellegaard who starts having dreadful flashbacks of the Cliffside Breadstickk Bonanza she was subjected to.
"At least he's getting what he deserves." She says tearfully as the four whirl past her.
"TURN OFF THE COMPUTER!" Isa screams.
"I'M TRYING TO! YOU GUYS WON'T LET ME!" Soren shouts back.
"NO EXCUSES, OLD MAN!" Aiden yells, chasing Soren on all fours and meowing like a rabid ocelot. Ivor picks up speed, running past Isa and Aiden and pulling two feathers out of his pockets. Holding a feather in each hand, he stretches his arms out as if trying to fly.
"YAAAAA!" He shouts as a blazing, white bird of magic soars over his head. The being lets out a screech like an eagle as it swoops down and tackles Soren. The three run up to Soren and each jump on his back.
"No mas del PPAP, enemigo!" Ivor shouts.
"Ivor, you know we don't speak Irish." Aiden says as the three of them sit on Soren's back. It was going to be a lovely day!
Author's Note:
*sighs* Okay! Hope you guys liked that! Man, that was some craziness, huh? Well, sorry I didn't get the update out last night (something came up in family), but I hope you guys still enjoy the day-late update! Close it, Crisper!
Crisper: (closes it)