Author's Nose:
Hiyaa! And welcome to the Secret Timely Friday Update ooooff-
LE RANDOM ROULETTE!
Now, today we have a suggestion from the Lovelyguard who writes…
7 and 9 find out that they have feelings towards each other. But 11, 12, and 26 object
Throw it in le generator and whaddya get?
Crisper: (converts it) What's with replacing the word 'the' with 'le'?
Me: It's fun! You should try it! It sounds so fancy! Anyways, now we have….
Jessica and Ivor find out that they have feelings towards each other. But Olivia, Ocelott, and Calvin object
Me: 0_0
Crisper: 0_0
Me:... I swear to Notch!
Crisper: Got some Ivoressica in there, huh? But why Ocelott and Calvin, though?
Me: Numbers don't lie. Hit it!
Crisper: (hits it)
Love is like a conch shell. It's beautiful, but if you whip it out in public… hmm… actually no one will really care. But if you whip it out in front of Olivia, Ocelott and Calvin things will get interesting!
That's what Ivor and Jessica have to learn the hard way.
"So, why'd you call me down here, Jess?" Olivia asks, petting Ocelott's soft, fur-like hair as she, Ocelott and Jessica sit together in Jessica's room.
"I just wanted to… uh, tell you something." Jessica admits nervously, playing with her long, black hair.
"Okay… it's not sensitive, is it? Because," They both glance at Ocelott who is playing with her light-up shoes and smiling immensely. "We've got sensitive, child-like spirits among us."
"Oh, you'll be fine, Liv." Jessica says with a smile, not noticing Olivia's genuinely offended glare.
"I was talking about Ocelott." She mutters. Jessica sighs, looking at her hands in her lap before turning her gaze to Olivia.
"Okay… so, lately I've discovered that I… admire someone." She said, making Olivia give a knowing grin.
"Admire someone?" She asks. Jessica nods giddily, knowing the girl-talk is about to get fired up! "It's Lukas, isn't it?" She asks. Jessica frowns a bit, slowly shaking her head.
"What makes you think that?"
"Everyone likes Lukas! My friend, my other friend, my… parents…." The girls both cringe a bit, but Ocelott only bangs her shoe on the floor, admiring the bright lights and colors. "Heck! Even Ocelott likes Lukas!"
"I am not a loaf of bread! I like Gill!" She shouts, not even looking up, or correctly….
"Owkayy… I'm not a loaf of bread, either, Ocelott." Olivia says, both girls laughing while Ocelott stares at nothing in particular. "So, who is it, then?" Jessica sighs and shifts in her seat a bit before looking at Olivia with a nervous smile.
"It's… Ivor."
Ocelott yelps a bit when Olivia, in shock, yanks the girl's hair a bit too hardly.
"What?" Olivia asks, sounding more angered and amazed than mischievously intrigued like a partner in crime. The sound of her voice makes Jessica's face melt into a frown. "You're joking, right?"
"Why would I be joking?" For a short while, the two girls sit, staring at each other while Ocelott looks at her pretty shoes.
"I object. Because when you get married, you might have ugly Ivor-babies!" Ocelott suddenly blurts, shocking the both of them.
"Ocelott, be quiet!" Olivia hisses.
"But Cookie says I have to-"
"Jessica, why would you pick him of all people?" Olivia asks.
"Well, why not?" Jessica shoots back, sounding stung by Olivia's piercing question.
"He isn't your type! He's old, he's crabby, and who knows what he plans to do next. Just because he joined our team doesn't mean you get to go dating him or whatever." Olivia snarls as Jessica glares.
"First of all, he's thirty-six. Second, he's only crabby to the people who judge him to be crabby. In fact, he's crabby and rude because people like you won't stop calling him crabby and rude. And what can he really do next? What does he even care to do next?" Jessica asks, putting her hands on her hips.
"He might unleash the Dangable Rays." Ocelott says sounding scary and mysterious.
"The 'what', now?" Jessica asks, annoyance in her voice.
"The Dangable Rays. When I was a baby, my momm told me to stay away from the fire because the Dangable Rays. And I did, and here I am now." She explains, proudly puffing out her chest to show them the wonderful specimen of herself.
"I'm not sure what to say to that." Olivia says, perturbed.
"Ivor might just release the Dangable Rays, and then my momm will cry! And we will all be sad! And that is not nice!"
"Ocelott, I don't know what you're talking about, but you need to stop! What has Cookie told you about interfering with the higher powers?" Olivia scolds.
"Wait, the higher powers? What higher powers?" Jessica asks shockedly.
"She's a very strange person and she needs these rules." Olivia explains deadpanly and Jessica nods in agreeance. "Ocelott, recite your lovely poem." She says. Ocelott's eyes widen and she stares shockedly for a second before screaming and rushing out the door and down the hall.
"Where's she going? Is she gonna be okay?" Jessica asks concernedly. Olivia just shrugs.
"She's off to bother someone. She'll be fine." She says right before they both hear a loud explosion followed by some of the boys screaming Ocelott's name in surprise, anger and pain. Olivia keeps her eyes fixed on Jessica's shocked face. "So, where were we?"
"Dangable Rays."
"No, before that."
"Oh, right!" Jessica shouts, feigning delight. "I can't be in love with Ivor because, based on your entirely subjective opinion, he's old, crabby and has big, bad plans for the future."
"Jessica, I'm trying to help you. I only want the best for you, and… I don't think he's your best." Jessica looks at Olivia with understanding. The girls had been friends for a long time, but why couldn't Olivia accept her new relationship? What was so wrong about it? Knowing that Olivia really did only want the best for herself, she softened her angry glare into an understanding frown.
"Why not? And I need a valid reason."
"I HAVE A VALID REASON!" Came a loud, flamboyant, high-pitched voice from the door that made both girls flinch. They snapped their heads over to the frame to see Ocelott standing in an epic pose with Calvin slung under her arm.
"Ocelott, what did you do to Calvin?" Olivia asks, sounding a bit scared herself despite being the "Ocelott Whisperer".
"Oh, he's my friend. And he has a valid reason! Tell them, Calvin." She says, tapping his head before patiently waiting for his answer.
"What's going on now?" He asks annoyedly after getting out of Ocelott's grasp.
"Nothing. Leave." Jessica says quickly. But before Calvin can get out of the door, Ocelott's left eye turns yellow and she teleports him right back to where he once stood.
"What the- Ocelott, what was that?!" Olivia shouts.
"Undertale." She smiles.
"Ocelott, we've talked about this! What have I told you about getting into that fandom?"
"To stop thinking about it. But the stop signs were blue! I had to get in!" She wails. Jessica and Olivia both exchange glances.
"What is she talking about?" Jessica asks. Olivia shrugs.
"Since you're not going anywhere, I'll tell you what happened, Calvin. Jessica picked out a boyfriend, but the boyfriend she picked out is Ivor. You have to object." She declares proudly. Calvin sends Jessica a shocked look.
"But he's not even your type." He says, making Jessica glare.
"Is it any of your business?" She asks him.
"Yes." Ocelott answers. Calvin groans in frustration while the girls glare at Ocelott.
"Very well, then. Well, you shouldn't date him because… he's… old…?"
"He's THIRTY-SIX!" She shouts.
"... oh. I did not know that… well… you're too young to be dating a thirty-six year old man."
"I'm… wait a second, I'm not telling you how old I am! But… just know it's not much less than thirty-six."
"Is it twenty-seven?" Calvin guesses. Jessica just stares at him a few seconds, shocked by his surprisingly accurate answer.
"...yes…?" She says.
"Well, then. That's only a nine year difference. That's not so bad at all." He shrugs, turning to leave before Ocelott teleports him again.
"You don't get a turn!" She chides, making all three of them angry.
"Look, Jessica. I just don't think you should go for him. I mean, what if he tries to hurt you or something?" Olivia asks concernedly.
"I don't think he'll try that, and if he does I'll be able to put up a fight, Liv." Jessica says, making Olivia nod slowly. Ocelott glares at the both of them.
"Don't say I didn't warn you." She growls before sauntering out of the room like a cowboy. Jessica frowns at this, still upset that Ocelott isn't happy with her and Ivor's relationship. But before she can get too down, Olivia puts a hand on her shoulder.
"It's probably just an Undertale reference." She says with a warm smile.
Author's Note:
So, I hope you enjoyed that one! And I'll see you back for The Random Roulette's STFU!
(stunned silence)
Me:... what? What'd I do?!
Crisper: Gamer, how offensive!
Me: What?! (looks at acronym)... ooooh… hehe. I knew there was something weird about Secret Timely Friday Update... we're going to need a new acronym. Well, bye, everyone! Close it, Crisper!
Crisper: (closes it)