CHAPTER 12

WHACK!

"what the hell!" screams and cries rang out through the air "Jesus Christ!"

WHACK!

"Samantha! stop it!" it was merles voice, in panic.

WHACK!

I took a deep breath, panting from all the work I had just done...this was going to be with me for the rest of my life...

"thats my girl!" shouted Negan who walked up beside Merle.

"I taught her well didnt I Mr. Dixon?" Negan laughed and patted Merle on the back.

"you didnt teach her shit...she was already like that... it just took some kind of fucked up person like yerself to bring it out!"

No one uttered a word for what seemed like forever...

"somebody clean this shit up.." I mumbled as I turned around walking toward Negan handing him the bloody bat.

"damn princess... it was meant for more of an effect but I mean whatever floats your boat..." Negan chuckled.

"Daryl... were gonna stay with you until I get my house back..." I said glancing at Merle.

"I'm going back to get some shit... I trust that you will obey my rules..." Negan grabbed my arm, making me look at him.

That evening no one said a word to me... I was alone and for once I didnt mind it...

I was at Daryl's house sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey I had found in the fridge...it had been so long since I had drank whiskey...at my own will.

the front door opened and in walked Merles brother...

"what are ya doin..." he mumbled walking in and standing in front of me.

"what does it look like?" I said not looking at him.

"thought you stopped..." he said pouring himself a shot.

"thought I stopped a lot of things..." I mumbled taking a sip from the bottle.

"like what happened today?" daryl said pulling out the chair and sitting down. "i dont wanna hear it." i said blankly and to the point. "look...im not mad at you...i aint here to give you my opinion on it... im worried though." he said not looking at me.

"im sure you are..." i rubbed my head. "now i dunno whats happened with the two of you, if you love him or what and frankly thats none of my buisness... im just here to tell you that people dont just change like that...i know you had that in you i never once questioned it... im jus...sorry i guess.." he said glancing up at me.

"about what?" i asked. "whatever is going on in your head...whatever he has done... i know yer drinkin again, and thats cuz of him...i just wish i knew what hes been tellin you.." my heart began to race "you wanna know! hes told me the truth! yall just abandond me! left me at the hands of him and didnt once come help because yall were too damn worried about yourselves! maybe if i would have started what i did today a long time ago none of this shit would have happened!..." daryl looked at me "and what about merle...he told me what happened, what he saw...dont act like Negan treats you like shit..." he growl "ill have you know that the first night there he pinned me on his bed and i told him no! but you know what i did! i let him do whatever the hell he wanted because i wanted to keep yall safe! i didnt want that! and he did it with no second thoughts!" my voice cracked a little as i bit my tongue to hold back. "i-i need Merle...i just murdered her...because Negan said that was what needed to be done...that was how a leader does things..." a single tear rolled down my face. "what?" Daryl said. "i killed her!" i said slamming my hand on the table. "not that...what you said before that?" daryl said in almost a question.

i took a breath and layed my head on the table "i need him...merle..." i whispered as more tears fell...

"then go...Negan aint gonna be here till tomorrow...if theres any problems you know where im at..." he said getting up and leaving the room.

i knocked on the door to my old house and seconds later merle opened in.

once he saw who was standing there he slammed it, catching my foot in the door way.

"please dont.." i winced.

"what the hell are ya doin? get the fuck out of my sight!" merle took a breath. "merle just listen-" he shook his head. "yer breakin his rules arnt you?" merle asked sarcastically. "just let me in please!" thats when the tears came, i looked down not wanting to look at him. "p-please..." i whispered.

i heard him huff and open the door, allowing me in.

we walked into what used to be my old home...nothing felt the same. it was almost like i could see the moments that happened here replay themselves in my head...

merle didnt say a word, he sat down at the kitchen table and propped his head up with his arm.. "i wanna come home..." i whimpered. "ya are home..." he mumbled not looking at me, i shook my head.

"i wish i could change things back to the way they were and knowing that i cant really hurts... im sorry." i said as tears streamed down my face. "are you?" he asked quietly glancing up at me.

before i could stop myself i walked over to him and fell into his arms weeping. "i need you..." i was finally breaking. "i already knew that...dont cry darlin..." he whispered pulling me in his lap, i buried my face in his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. "but i also know where your gonna be when he gets back...not here..." he said stroking my hair.

"i-i dont wanna do this anymore...i killed her!" i began to sob. "shhh...what have i always told you darlin...everything is gonna be okay..." he said pulling me to him.

"i want you home...with me..." he whispered. "your gonna be okay... Negan is a reasonable man... i talked to him before he left..." i looked up afraid. "he told me bout what ya was gon do the other day... told me he couldnt figure you out..." merle took a breath "i told em next time that happens to bring you home...told him that ya aint gotta stay, but i needed to be with you..." i panicked. "he agreed..." merle said looking into my eyes. "ya know...ya got me good today darlin...you sure know what the hell yer doin ill give you that..." i raised my head and looked at him. "what do you mean?" i said wioing my tears away.

"the eye thing..." merle nodded. "gets me every time..." he lifted my chin to look into my eyes, just before leaning in to kiss me... i hesitated but then surrendered to him as he had his hand around the back of my neck.

"merle i-" he cut my off with a whisper, his eyes closed. "shh...dont talk...just let me have this..."

My lip quivered as he spoke, I yearned for him, and not just to feel him inside of me...but to feel him as a whole. I wanted to taste him...i wanted his name burned into my skin for days...i needed to feel him..

his soft lips caressed my own as he picked me up by my hips, sitting me on the table.

he kissed me with a passion that made my core tingle.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. "You're mine..." he whispered just before pressing his lips to mine again, they parted and his tongue ran across my bottom lip.

i pressed myself against him, as he ran his hands down my waist. "wheres yer ring?" he murmured softly, his lips still touching mine.

"my pocket.." i sighed as i felt him tighted his arms around me, i raised mine and wrapped them around his neck.

he continued to caress my lips with his own as he picked me up, carrying me to our bedroom.

when we entered he brought me to the bed and layed me down on my back, kissing and sucking at my neck and jaw. I felt his hand move down to my front pocket and fished out the wedding ring.

his lips slowly moved from my neck to my shoulder as he slid down my tank top and bra strap, lightly with the tip of his fingers.

he kissed my shoulder all the way down to my hand, just as he reached my finger tips he slid the ring on.

his lips found their way back up to mine, his tongue exploring my mouth again.

i let out a shaky breath as he gently bit down on my bottom lip, pulling it lightly and letting go.

"have you been drinking?" he asked just as his hand slid up my shirt. i nodded, not wanting to lie to him. "are you okay with this?" he asked looking me in the eye. "weve been married four years...you dont have to ask that.." i said as his hand fondled my breast. "yes i do..." he mumbled as he kissed my stomach.

And for the first time in a very long time Merle and I made love...