Author's Note:
Heya, peeps! And welcome back to another episode of "The Random Roulette"! If you're reading this and wondering what happened to other scheduled updates of MCOM, ANFO and TCoaL, just click over to my profile. After the 12th, though, you can start to expect more frequent updates. But, here's your Friday chapter!
EthanDaCabbage writes:
Cannot WAIT until the next chapter!
I say: 17 and 3 decide to open a bakery. Unfortunately, the only available plot of land is right beside 20's bakery. 17 and 3 end up stealing business from 20, who gets angry and calls the police (who happen to be 9 and 21). 9 and 21 close 7 and 3's bakery, and so 17 and 3 decide to open a deli. (You can guess where that went.)
When I saw this, I was like WHAAAT! MUST WRITE! So, convert that, Crisper!
Crisper: (converts it) *pip-ding!*
Nohr and Maya decide to open a bakery. Unfortunately, the only available plot of land is right beside Petra's bakery. Nohr and Maya end up stealing business from Petra, who gets angry and calls the police (who happen to be Ivor and Reuben). Ivor and Reuben close Nohr and Maya's bakery, and so Nohr and Maya decide to open a deli. (You can guess where that went.)
Me: 0_0
Crisper: 0_0
Me:... if Ivor and Reuben have to close down the bakery, doesn't that mean they'll both need to speak English?
Crisper:... yes.
Me:... CONGRATULATIONS, ETHANDACABBAGE! EAT LE VIRTUAL GUMMYBEAR, FOR YOU HAVE SUMMONED LE TALKING REUBEN!
*massive confetti explosion*
Me: CRISPER, HIT LE BUTTON!
Crisper: O-LE-KAY! (hits le button)
It is two o'clock in the morning. Maya is in her bed sleeping quietly as soft jazz plays in the background. Suddenly, someone kicks the door in making her scream and roll out of bed. She falls to the floor and grabs the iron axe she had under it and stands up in a defensive position, ready to strike.
"GILL, I SWEAR TO NOTCH!" She shouts before her eyes have fully opened.
"... what?" Asks an unfamiliar voice. Maya straightens, rubbing her eyes and opening them to see Nohr standing by her door with a confused look. "I'm curious. What has Gill done to you?" She asks.
"... I don't like talking about it." Maya shudders before seeing the splintered wood scattered across the carpeted floor. "Why'd you break down my door?! This is gonna take hours to clean!" Maya fusses.
"I had to tell you something! Look!" Nohr holds up a poster for Maya to see. Maya squints her eyes in the darkness before turning on the light to see the paper. Her eyes widen in shock before she sends Nohr a dirty look.
"Nohr, you need help." She says before Nohr looks at the poster herself. The blue-haired girl gasps in surprise before throwing the paper into the trash.
"That's not what I wanted to show you… it's… this!" She holds up another poster, one that makes Maya smile eagerly.
"An empty lot, huh? Let's start a store like we always wanted to!" Maya suddenly shouts, and quite loudly, too.
"Go to sleep!" Comes a loud voice from down the hall.
"Shut up, Magnus! You're such a hypocrite!" A more feminine sounding voice shouts back.
"You shut up, Ellie! You're such a hypocrite!" Magnus yells back. Nohr quickly shuts the door, muffling the sound of the old "couple" bickering.
"So, what kind of store should we start?" Nohr asks. Maya puts a hand on her chin as she thinks for a second.
"How about a store?" Maya asks. Nohr sends her a deadpan glare. "JK, JK! I wanna start a bakery."
"Ohmygosh! Me too! Besties!" Nohr shouts as Maya holds up her hand for a high-five. Instead of returning the kind, friendly gesture, Nohr shows Maya some Boomtown love and punches her in the face. Maya bounces back onto the bed, laying there with a stunned look on her face.
"I forgot you were from Boomtown." She says, slowly sitting up and holding her bleeding nose. "So, where are we gonna get the money to start up the bakery?" She asks.
"Hmm… why don't we ask that nice blonde kid for a raise?"
"Totally!"
In Lukas's room….
Maya and Nohr try to be as quiet as possible as they walk into Lukas's room, though they both fangirl to the max when they see that he's asleep and cuddling with his pillow.
"I could just sit here and stare at him all night." Maya says, getting a weirded-out look from Nohr. Nohr is about to wake him up before Maya interrupts her. "No, you'll be too… you. Let me wake him." she says, walking towards Lukas's bed. She calls his name softly as she shakes him gently.
"Lukas, wake up." She says before he slowly opens his blue eyes.
"Whuu?" He moans drowsily.
"Can we have a small loan of a million dollars?" Maya asks, trying to look like the polite, little six-year-old angel she once was. She's sure to tack a halo and googly eyes on with her sweet, cute pose.
"Or a medium loan of a billion dollars?" Nohr adds quickly while Lukas stares at them tiredly. He sighs and runs a hand down his face before sitting up and pulling out his wallet. Nohr and Maya exchange surprised looks as he whips out his checkbook and starts writing on it.
"Here's 200K." He says dismally, holding out the check for the two girls. When he sees that none of them are responding, he gets offended. "Oh, two-hundred-thousand big ones doesn't float your boat, huh? Well here's six-hundred." He says as he rewrites the check and holds it out to them. Maya and Nohr are still gawking back in surprise at Lukas's generosity. Getting annoyed by them just standing there and burning precious hours of his sleep, Lukas leans over and pats the folded check into Maya's front pocket. "Now please go back to bed." He says, rolling over and throwing his covers over his face.
Maya reaches into her pocket and pulls out the check to make sure Lukas wasn't playing them. Her eyes widen when she sees that he actually has given them most of his college and life savings that night.
"Look at this!" Maya shouts, waving the check in Nohr's face.
"That's a lot of birthday money." Nohr says as they quietly leave Lukas's room. When they walk out, they see Aiden walking into the room.
"Lukas, have you seen my checkbook anywhere?" They hear Aiden ask. Maya looks down at the check to see that it is indeed from a page in Aiden's checkbook. She looks at Nohr with a troubled frown. Nohr simply shrugs and keeps walking while Maya stares at the check.
"Meh, he does still owe me from the time he nearly killed my late aunt's child with that spoon." She says, following Nohr into the kitchen for some early-morning planning.
The Next Week….
Despite the fact that "Maya and Nohr's Cheap Yet Delicious Bakery" was right behind another random bakery, the business boomed within a week. Soon everyone was talking about the delicious cupcakes from their shop, as well as the great customer service and sweet-smelling aromas!
"Well, it seems everyone likes us!" Nohr says as Maya snacks on a spare cupcake during the store's quieter hours.
"I knew a bakery would be a good way to go. Look at how much money we have now!" Maya says, opening the cash-register for Nohr to see. The beautiful greens somehow gave of a golden aura that tickled her face.
"Oooooo." She says, reaching to grab a dollar before the register slams shut. "Ow! You-" Nohr shouts a mean word as she reaches for a sledgehammer, holding it high above Maya's head.
"Nohr, we have a guest." Maya hisses. Nohr glances at the door and sees someone about to walk into the pink-painted store. Nohr drops the hammer which falls to the floor with a clang! She straightens out her hair and reaches out to push a stray lock out of Maya's face before the door opens and in walks-
"Petra! What brings you here?" Maya asks politely as the redheaded girl storms up to the front desk. Petra angrily slams a hand on the bubblegum-pink desk, catching both girls' attention.
"Your stupid bakery is costing me business!" She shouts, making Maya flinch.
"Whoa! Hey! If you're addicted to our cupcakes and it's running in your food-bills, don't come blaming us!" Maya snarls back.
"Yeah. Hate the game, not the player!"
"I'm not addicted to your dumb cupcakes! In fact, I want those disgusting things AND your souls scattered from the face of the earth!" She shouts dramatically as the lights flash and flicker in the background.
"Number one, wow. That's insane. Number two, I thought I told someone to fix the lighting system." Maya says, sending Nohr a glare.
"What? After trying out the normal stuff I ran out of bright ideas." Ba-dum crash! Petra suddenly growled.
"I don't want to hear overused jokes or puns, you two. I want your store relocated or, better yet, closed."
"Closed?"
"Closed."
"... closed, then?"
"Yes. Closed."
"Seriously? Clo-"
"SHUT UP AND CLOSE YOUR STORE!" Petra shouts before pulling out her phone and calling the cops. "911, HAAALP! I'm losing money and I really need some halp!" She shouts at the receiver.
"Seriously, you think calling the cops is going to help you get your money back?" Maya sneers before Nohr gives a disgusted scream.
"Ewe! A pig's coming into my store!" She shouts, making Maya and Petra glare at her furiously.
"Well that's something to say about people who risk their lives for your safety each day! Respect cops! Besides, you're sending the wrong message to the kids." Maya says.
"Yeah, the kids." Petra adds.
"No! Seriously! A pig is dressed like a cop right now!" She says as officers Ivor and Reuben enter the shop with all the swag in the world. Reuben saunters into the shop on his twos before pulling out a stool and standing on it so that he can lay his elbow across the counter in a swaggering way. Maya's and Petra's jaws drop at the awe-striking sight.
"Someone rang?" Reuben asks, his golden badge glinting in the light.
"... wow… you… you weren't joking." Petra says. "Gee, this is sending a really wrong message to the kids."
"Yeah… the kids." Maya adds as they both stare at Reuben and Ivor dressed in their blue uniforms. Ivor whips out a notebook.
"I am Iverson "Ivor" of the MPD. We're here on a report that you're stealing business and money. Now, this probably isn't a legal crime, but face it, we're kind of running low on jobs… so... D'you have a permit to be selling cupcakes to the general public?" Ivor asks, checking the walls while Reuben snacks on a pastry.
"This is actually pretty good, though." He says, handing some to Ivor to try. Maya gives an arrogant laugh.
"Of course we have a…." all the pride and confidence is smacked clean off her suddenly pale face when she turns to the wall. There is a wooden frame on one, but that's it. No permits. Ivor clicks his tongue.
"Looks like someone's committed a felony~!" He says in a sing-song voice.
"A delicious felony!" Reuben adds, eating his fifth box of cupcakes. "You guys are really great cooks, if I may add. Do we really have to arrest them, Ivor?" He asks as Ivor lifts a cookie to his mouth. Maya and Nohr watch eagerly, hoping the sweet treat will make him change his mind.
"Hmm… this food is delicious." He says.
"Well, i-if you'd like, I think you should try some of our donuts!" Maya shouts, waving a box in their faces, "They're so good they might even be illegal." She says. Reuben and Ivor each send her a glare and fold their arms.
"Oh." Ivor eye-rolls, "Because I'm a police officer. So I MUST HAVE A BELLY AND LOVE DONUTS AND COFFEE, huh?!" Ivor shouts before furiously scribbling on his notebook. "No permit, no shop. I'm shutting this place down."
"Yeah. Down!" Reuben says angrily as he stuffs his pockets with some more of the delicious foods. "I, Chief Reuben, declare this deliciously good food-site as unconstitutional, immoral, and, above all, illegal." Reuben says dramatically.
"Also, me and the guys are all gonna give this place a 1-star on Yelp." Ivor says before he and Reuben quickly leave.
The two girls each stare with dismay as Chief Reuben and Officer Ivor drive away, closing the door on their dreams and giving them the all-encompassing, indisputably evil 1-star of Yelp.
Petra sneers at them once more as she leaves the room, her business back on track.
Maya looks to see Nohr crying softly into her hands. She goes over to the other girl and hugs her, patting her hair and quietly shushing her.
"It's alright, Nohr. We'll be okay." She says, remembering that they still have an extra 594K on themselves.
"I know," Nohr whimpers, "It's just… I really wanted to have a bakery. What'll we do now that we have a 1-star on Yelp? What'll we do?" She weeps before burying her face in Maya's chest while Maya strokes her blue hair.
"... why not open a deli?"
"... A deli?"
"Yeah! Let's go plan it!"
And within months, ideas and concepts for "Maya and Nohr's Cheap Yet Delicious Deli Which Has Nothing To Do With Maya and Nohr's Cheap Yet Delicious Bakery" took place. Because they were already cheap off of Lukas's tiny loan of 600K dollars, they now had a small loan of about a million. With this money, they benefited… no one but themselves. But it did go to the indirect benefit of others. Maya got herself a steel door that Gill tried kicking down, but he broke his shin. Since he didn't have insurance, the hospital bills would be going to a famous surgeon! See? Indirect benefit! Even Gill reaped something from his misery! He learned his lesson well and is so afraid of doors in general that he's paying someone to open the doors for himself! See? Win-win!
Nohr made her own way with the money. Now she's a part-time announcer for the Death Bowl! She paid for a whole new sound-system for her boyfriend Darwin that now she, him and the rest of Boomtown can benefit from! Even at the expense of others getting their heads (and lives) blown short! And survivors go to the hospital, and most of them don't have insurance! The money's circulating! *confetti explodes*
And then came the glorious day for both of them: The day everyone forgot about "Maya and Nohr's Cheap Yet Delicious Bakery". This gave them the chance to pick a location for their deli-station!
"Let's see…." Maya says at 2:30a with her best friend Nohr by her side. They are both looking at a map of their city. "We can have it down by the lake. Maybe people will like it there."
"Nah. Too many ducks. Think about those short babies and their sandwiches." Nohr says.
"True… why don't we have it… there?" Maya points to the map. "I think it'd be great down by the park at Ender Street."
"Nah. Too many pigeons. Think about those tall men and their sandwiches." Nohr says. Maya looks at another point on the map.
"How about by the mall where I hang out a lot? I know the place pretty well." She says.
"Nah. Too many Aiden and Gill. Think about those normal people and their safety." She says. Maya knew she was right. They may have been filthy rich tycoons, but they didn't have enough money for Holy Water. "Why don't we put it right where we began?" Nohr asks, moving Maya's hand to where it all started: The once then and now still empty lot. Tears came to Maya's eyes as waves of nostalgia hit her.
"It's perfect." She says, wiping away a tear from her eyes.
They chose to ignore the fact that their deli would be right behind Petra's bakery. But that'd come up and bite them in the blocks later….
Author's Note:
Th-th-th-that's a-a-a-a-aaa-a-a-a-a-all f-f-f-olk-olk-lks!
Crisper: Seriously?
Me: (kicks my computer) That oughta fix it! Well, I hope you all enjoyed this roulette episode!
To EthanDaCabbage: If you're confused about all the screaming earlier, in the previous chapter I announced that whoever suggested talking Reuben would get a free virtual gummy bear, so… enjoy!
Well, see you guys next time! Don't forget to favorite, follow me on FFN, and leave a suggestion in the form of a review! Bye, everyone! Close it, Crisper!
Crisper: (closes it)