this was one of the most emotive chapters i've had to write. and i absolutely love it. it's probably my favourite chapter in this whole fanfic. i am sad about a lot of parts of this story. i wish i could re-write so much of it (partly because so much of it could've gone differently and better and partly because the writer is their own worst critic! at least i believe that's the case for me), but alas, this story has been in progress for about a year and some more now! after this, there is one more chapter and then epilogue! then this story is done!
review reply:
FairyRave: i'm so excited now that it's nearing the end. all i can say is that... Percy doesn't die. which i think is a big fear that people had in the beginning of this story because i tend to kill characters. a lot.
Phoenixx Rising: "Well, I take it Percy was either in quite a bit of shock or he is a huge idiot." both are plausible. i love reading that comment. i keep grinning and rereading it! it's wonderful. as for Audrey, i'm sure she has her reasons. probably hormonal based and probably the fact that Lucy is a little troublemaker. and probably because by my cultural standpoint, it's perfectly fine (though my culture is a bit more aggressive than most!)
Chapter Fifty-Seven
"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Bill shouted, storming towards a colourless, terrified Percy, sitting alone in the St Mungo's waiting area. "I visit the Burrow, take Ginny out of the house for a little Quidditch and upon taking her back; I am subjected to a drunken Adrian Pucey telling me that you and Audrey are in the hospital! And best of all, he'd forgotten why you were there in the first place!"
He laughed. It was vapid and uninspired. "Godric, I'm almost sorry for you, you bastard! You're glad I found you before the rest of the family did! Mum is going to dismember you because neither of you bothered to send any of us an owl about it!"
Bill was fuming to say the least.
"WE THOUGHT YOU'VE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO KILL YOURSELF, YOU SELFISH GIT!"
Percy looked down at his feet. He blinked away the few tears that had formed in his eyes.
A while ago, Penelope left to go get them the two or three sleepsuits that Audrey bought for the baby a couple of weeks ago. She had also said she'd do a quick shop for bottles, as she felt Percy would not be able to accept her second hand bottles due to his issues with contamination... He honestly couldn't care less. He still didn't know if his child was alive for Merlin's sake. Why would he care about a stupid bottle?
"Well, as you can see, I am alive," Percy's throat ached. "You shouldn't have troubled yourselves."
Half an hour ago, they took Audrey to the operating theatre. That was not a good sign. If it could not be dealt with magic, it was never a good sign. Percy could barely breathe.
"No, don't trouble yourself, Bill! Three months ago, I was fantasising about killing myself and today, you received news that Audrey and I are in the hospital! You're totally overreacting, believing that I'd done myself in!" Bill mocked. "Don't worry! Well, I'm—"
"WELL, I'M ALIVE AND WELL, AREN'T I?!" Percy snapped; his eyes glossy as tears fell from his eyes.
He still hadn't gotten used to seeing Bill's scarred, mutilated face. He didn't think he ever would.
"Why do you have to be like this?" Bill's voice was weak and wobbly. "Godric, I thought you were dead."
"Well, I'm alive. I'm alive. Unfortunately, I'm bloody alive!" Percy shook his head, tears falling down faster than usual as Bill crouched down to Percy's eyelevel and wrapped his arms around him. "Nothing's wrong with me, you long-haired, alcohol-obsessed fool! It's AUDREY!"
Percy clung onto Bill as hard as he could. He felt like he was going to topple over. "It's Audrey..."
He hadn't even gotten a proper look at her when they decided to take her away. Percy tried to keep himself from breaking down because Lucy was with him. Fortunately, Marcus apparated her back to the flat and was watching her now. It was for the best, because Percy couldn't bring himself to look down at that sweet red-headed girl, who had started to cry and sob and curse the bloody world and everything in it. What was he supposed to say? How could he comfort her? How could he be strong when he was so bloody weak?
"She went into labour and-and they've taken her into the operating theatre. I'm sure they're going to cut her up since that's what they tend to do in operating theatres!" Percy was in hysterics. "And-and... Godric, Audrey isn't even in her twenty-fifth week. The nurses told me that the baby's got a twenty percent chance of making it out alive and - and Audrey! They wouldn't tell me anything about her, they just told me she was fine and that was that! Oh, yes, she's fine! She's absolutely fine! WELL, IF SHE'S SO BLOODY FINE, THEN WHY WAS SHE RUSHED OFF TO THE OPERATING THEATRE?!"
Percy was panting, clinging onto Bill, who flinched when he yelled. "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't—"
Bill was shaking Percy by his shoulders, trying to bring him back to reality.
"Percy, you're acting like a complete and utter lunatic!" Bill told him. "Even more so than usual!"
"I...I-..." Percy was lost for words. "They'll take my baby away from me, Bill. I know that they will. They'll bloody take it away and I'm never going to see it and it's never going to see me!"
Bill shook his head. "Like hell, they would! They'd have to pry it away from your dead body if you thought for a second that they can take your own baby away from you—"
"No, they're going to take it away," Percy said in certainty, his heart pounding in his chest. There were black dots starting to form in his vision as his head pounded with the same intensity as his heart. "They're going to take my child away and I'm never going to see it and Lucy they're going to take her away and Audrey they're going to take her away and I'm going to be alone and-and-and—"
His chest was tightening. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack.
"BillIcan'tbreathe," Percy wasn't even sure how he managed to get the words out.
"You need to calm down, Perce," Bill warned in a low voice. "You just need to calm down."
Percy shook his head and let out a choked sob.
Out of the corner of his eye, Percy noticed others coming this way. Adrian was laughing—the sloshed bastard. Percy was going to kill him. Molly was fuming. The rest had expressions of either confusion or worry.
Fortunately, he was too busy panicking about the fact that he was going to sleep in a bed alone tonight to panic about the fact that his family hated him.
"Hello, everyone! How are you? Doing well, I hope! Lovely weather out!" Bill tried to lighten the situation.
"Yes, absolutely lovely weather," Molly's tone was colder than the weather which was absolute bollocks.
Bill swallowed a lump that was in his throat, "Mum, I'm taking Percy down to get a coffee!"
"Like hell you are!" Molly exclaimed. "Percival Ignatius Weasley. For weeks, you do not—"
"Mum, Audrey's in the operating theatre. She went through labour but I think they had to cut her open like muggles do," Bill suddenly cut her off, trying to explain the situation. Percy was glad. He was not sure if he could explain it again without having a mental breakdown for ages. "He couldn't have written an owl to tell you that he'd gone to the hospital. Godric, I'm sure he doesn't even know what time it is, he's in some kind of warped, convoluted la-la land where everything is somehow his fault."
No, Percy did not know what time it was. And yes, everything was somehow his fault.
Molly nodded her head. The hardness in her face melted. "You... y-you two go get a coffee then."
"I don't want a bloody coffee," Percy complained. "I want to go see Audrey." He just wanted to go home and sleep next to her... because this wasn't supposed to happen today. Today was supposed to be a good day.
"Come on, Perce," Bill tried to encourage him. "We'll go get a coffee and then we'll see her, alright?"
Percy didn't say anything, because he was certain that if he spoke, he'd have told Bill to go fuck himself.
WALKING to the canteen, Bill was searching for the few spare sickles that he always kept jammed in his pockets. Meanwhile, Percy was trying not to collapse into a pathetic, pitiful heap on the ground and sob until he hacked up his own lungs. Neither was doing well on either front.
As Percy blinked away tears, he pulled out a few sickles from his pocket as they approached the coffee counter. Bill blushed and then offered a weak smile to Percy.
Suddenly, he felt a hulking presence behind him. He ignored it as he handed Bill his cup whilst taking his own. If it was the Grim Reaper ready to take their unsuspecting souls to the bowels of hell, then Percy could blame it on the fact that getting coffee was Bill's idea.
"Piercey sister is very pretty!" Tarvos' voice sounded out, almost making Percy's heart stop.
He was sure that Tarvos had a Percy detector stapled somewhere in his muscular frame because he always seemed to know where to conveniently run into him.
"Piercey?" Bill raised an eyebrow. "Who's Piercey? And who in Merlin's name is his sister?"
"I am Piercey," Percy said. He found himself actually smiling. "And I believe you are my sister."
"I am not your sister!" Bill yelled.
Percy's smile widened. A warmth found its way to his belly and he somewhat found himself actually looking forward to his coffee. The first few sips of the warm beige substance managed to soothe him.
"TARVOS WAS LOOKING FOR PEIRCEY FOR WEEKS!" Tarvos exclaimed. "Tarvos find old picture!"
Tarvos shoved a wizarding photograph to Bill, nearly knocking over the cup of coffee that he was holding. Percy had to admit the half-breed's enthusiasm was contagious, because he was beaming ear-to-ear and he wasn't even sure why.
Bill looked down at the photograph and found himself smiling silly.
"That better not be the photograph of me in the lavatory," Percy mumbled, cheeks colouring in at the memory. Tarvos really tended to show up at the most unexpected places.
"Piercey sister go out with Tarvos?" Tarvos smacked Bill on the back.
"My name is Bill and I'm his brother!" Bill exclaimed, rubbing his back. Percy was full on laughing right now. Bill actually jumped when Percy started to laugh because it was so unexpected.
"Bill?" Tarvos' voice echoed off the walls. He repeated it under his breath a few times before he ran off.
Percy took a look over at the picture that Tarvos had given Bill. Old picture? It was ancient!
In that photograph stood a fifteen-year-old Percy wearing a pale button-down and grey trousers, looking incredibly annoyed but still attempting to feign a smile. Beside him was a happy Tarvos, who had his hand placed on Percy's shoulder. Percy's smile disappeared in the moment he saw his annoyance. If he recalled correctly, it was because Tarvos' hold had become tighter and Percy believed that the bloke accidentally broke his shoulder joint.
"Do you remember the last photo we took before you got sent off to the ward?" Bill suddenly reminisced. "You were fourteen, but you were limping in that photo. You were stood there in your ugly old man overalls and a smug look on your face. You'd buttoned the shirt you were wearing all the way to the top... Godric, we thought you weren't getting enough blood supply to your big fat head at some point! And people! They used to mistake you for our father! At fourteen, you've managed to pass off for forty!"
"How lovely," Percy mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee—which was now cold. He had to admit that seeing Tarvos today really brought a smile to his face. "At least nobody's mistaken me for a woman."
Bill rolled his eyes. "Percy, Audrey's written an owl earlier on. It said something about you being at work?"
Percy sighed deeply. Not this again. "Yes, I've saved the Minister and he offered me a job as his assistant. It was on The Daily Prophet on Sunday for Merlin's sake!"
Bill cocked an eyebrow. "The Daily Prophet comes out on Sundays?"
"Of course it does! It's called The Daily Prophet!" Percy argued.
Bill shook his head in disbelief. "How in Merlin's name did you save his life exactly? Saved him from making a spelling mistake, did you?"
"That is not funny," Percy placed his coffee on a nearby table and crossed his arms over his chest. "You see, he was just frolicking about Diagon Alley, about to eat one of the Honeydukes chocolate samples in one of the street vendors... so I walked up to him and warned him not to, because I was fairly certain that it was poisoned. I had no proof that it was, I was just fairly certain of it. The minister was amused by it, and decided to perform a poison checking spell whilst lecturing me about how every poison left a trace! Needless to say, I was right. Thus, after bombarding me with endless jokes about the fact that he nearly got his sweet demise, he offered me a job! He said that what I did was more impressive than any CV that he'd gotten through the mail!"
"So, you saved the Minister from dying from a bad Valentine?" Bill grinned. Suddenly, Tarvos came back and wedged himself between them and shoved a stalk of papers towards Bill.
"Tarvos bring Bill!" he exclaimed as he waved around hospital bills all over the place.
MOLLY came over and stared over at Percy with a soft expression. "Percy," she reached over to rub his cheek. He'd put on so much weight recently. He looked like his old self again. "You can go see Audrey now."
Percy swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head. "Are you going to come with?"
"Do you want me to?" she asked, only for him to nod his head. It irritated her that she felt good that he said that he needed her. It really shouldn't matter right now.
Percy slowly followed his mum into the hospital room. He looked apprehensive and Molly, herself, was terrified! She couldn't do this either. She didn't know how to deal with this. She had never lost any of her children and had never delivered so early on that losing them was even a possibility. Molly walked into the room and saw Audrey huddled up in the hospital cot. She looked absolutely exhausted. Her long brown hair was in complete disarray and her honey brown eyes were looking up at Percy with weariness. She smiled when she saw him and a glossiness found its way to her eyes.
"How are you feeling?" Molly asked, moving closer to her.
Audrey didn't answer.
"How are you feeling?" Percy repeated Molly's question for her, as he ran his hand through her haphazard brown hair. Her smile widened, but it didn't look to be a very happy smile.
Audrey opened her mouth to answer his question, but... she couldn't. She looked down at her deflated belly.
"You left your first day of work to come and see me?" Audrey asked.
Percy stared at her like she'd gone mad. "Yes and I completely regret it," he rolled his eyes. "I should've stayed in the office and let you suffer by yourself."
Molly would've normally launched into questions about what kind of work, and how in Merlin's name had he managed to get a job with his non-existent CV. Instead, she just stood staring vacantly at them. She wished she had something purposeful to say. In fact, she wished she had anything to say.
Audrey placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently.
"It was a girl, Percy," she suddenly said. She wasn't smiling anymore. She was grinning and tears were running down her cheeks. "They had to take her away. She was so little. She was a third of the size of Lucy and she... she could breathe but just barely. They've taken her away to a special unit so that they could give her the oxygen and... she...she...SHE..."
Audrey's lip was trembling and her grin widened. "It's brilliant, isn't it? Absolutely cosmic!"
Molly felt like she shouldn't be there, but her feet were planted onto the ground. She watched Percy slide on the bed and wrap his arms around Audrey, pulling her close to his frame.
"They've taken her away and she's going to die alone and-and you're never going to see her!" Audrey exclaimed. She looked so scared. "How is that fair? How is that—?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Percy cut her off, shaking his head. He pulled her even closer to him and buried his head in her hair. He looked over at Molly and gestured for the bottle of water sat on one of the chairs.
Audrey let out a few whimpers and sobs. Molly's heart sunk into her chest. "How is it fair?"
"It's fair because I won't let them," Percy attempted to console her. "I won't let them take her away."
Molly was not sure that he should be making promises that were impossible for him to keep.
"You can't," Audrey suddenly cried, tears falling down at an even faster rate. She clung onto him for dear life. "You can't bring her back. You can't. You can't make that promise, Percy. You can't."
"I believe I just did," Percy said with smile, running his hand through her hair once more. Molly offered him the water bottle that he'd asked for what felt like ten minutes ago. He put it aside. "Thank you."
Molly was certain that the only reason Percy made her go get the sodding bottle was so she wouldn't feel useless standing there, watching a trembling, terrified Audrey have a complete breakdown after the hell she went through in the last few hours.
Molly didn't even want to think about what she was going through... what they were going through.
"She was trying so hard to breathe," she shook her head in disbelief. "So hard."
Percy was trembling, but he managed to compose himself.
"I just... I want to look at her," Audrey suddenly said. "I want to see her and I can't—PERCY?!"
Percy stood up from where he was sitting and immediately fell to the ground. Molly didn't even have to ask what happened because his hands had drifted to his dodgy leg.
"I'm alright, Audrey. I'm alright," Percy assured her. "I just... can't quite get up at the moment."
THE silence was overwhelming. Every minute that passed felt like an hour. Every hour felt like an eternity.
Molly wondered when someone would barge in, announcing the fact that she was gone.
For the next couple of hours, Percy attempted to get up several times, and Bill tried to help him, but it was no use, because he collapsed whenever Bill let go of him. This scared her. It felt like Percy was slowly losing the ability to walk completely.
He continued to try and try and try... and it wasn't until the third hour that Percy actually managed to get up.
By the time that he'd properly stood up, he looked like he wanted to do nothing more than to sit back down again. He looked absolutely knackered, but he'd decided to go off with a tired Ginny to go Godric-knew-where to do Merlin-knew-what. This left Molly alone to...
Wait and wait. And wait again.
How long had it been since Percy left? Honestly, Molly didn't know. He'd just gone off with Ginny and left her in this—this...
What were they doing? She didn't know, but she had her guesses.
She believed that they were going to go check up on the little thing, or maybe they were getting a coffee like Bill and Percy had a while ago. Or maybe they were... she didn't really know.
She should've bloody asked.
Since then, Molly had devoted her time to watching Audrey sleep. She was fidgeting and twitching about. Right now, Molly seemed to ignore their age difference. Seeing Audrey so vulnerable made her realise how scared she was... how young she was.
Molly had Arthur sitting beside her, holding her. He must've said a few words in the past few hours, but she couldn't remember any of them. She looked around the room. The rest of her family were all sat in ancient chairs, shifting in them uncomfortably. This was probably the longest the twins had gone without attempting to pull some sort of prank on someone. She wished they would. She wished they'd do anything.
She wished someone would do or say something, because this silence was deafening.
"Audrey," Percy's voice broke Molly out of her reverie. She didn't know if he'd been standing by the doorway for some time, or if he was not. She looked up to see that he had a small little unmoving blanketed bundle in his arms. "Audrey," he called out a little louder.
She opened her eyes almost immediately. She looked even more worn out than she was before she fell asleep.
Percy sat on the side of the bed, offering the baby to a keen Audrey.
"We went to have a look at her," Percy tried to explain. "They... well, she... well, that is..."
Molly stiffened in her place. "Shouldn't they be taking care of her? You said that she was sick, that she was weak, that she could..."
"Well..." Percy found it hard to get the words out. "Well, err... I suppose it's... they said that... well, my daughter, she's..."
Percy stopped and seemed surprised by his own statement. "My daughter."
"What he wants to say is that when we went off to check up on her, they told us that she's not been taking up the oxygen or the water," Ginny explained. "No matter how much they give to her, her oxygen saturation is low and she's dehydrated. It's like whatever they gave her went straight through her. So they gave her to us. They said they couldn't do anything anymore, so might as well just wait it out and see what happens." More waiting was all Molly's mind seemed to register.
Percy nodded his head. "Yes, that's... that's exactly what I said."
Fred stared at her with a vacant expression. "So, they gave her to you so she could die in here, you mean?"
"Fred!" Molly shouted, noticing how pale Audrey was getting, but she shouldn't have yelled at him. He was only saying what everyone else was already thinking. "You—"
"No," Percy suddenly said. He looked furious. "She is not going to die in here."
AUDREY wiped away the tears from her eyes. Percy had been sat waiting for her to wake up all night, but he was not sure why. It was... it was really late.
She'd been sleeping all day, but every time she woke up, she fell back asleep again.
Meanwhile, Percy was certain that he did not need any sleep. He could function on his feelings of despair just fine, thank you very much. She'd told the others to go and was relieved since. He couldn't stand others watching them struggle like this anymore. It was humiliating. He'd made a fool of himself so many times today that it was a little funny that he still had the ability to feel embarrassment.
"Percy, you're tired," she said to him. "Go to sleep."
Percy shook his head. "I can fix this."
Audrey sighed deeply. She didn't want to hear his absurd fallacies and loopy ideas. She just wanted to forget that this happened in the first place. "You're not making any sense. You haven't slept. You—"
"I assure you that I'm not tired, Audrey," Percy's voice was firm.
Audrey sighed deeply. "Well, then you're just mad with grief."
Percy shook his head. He was not mad with grief. "You can't mourn the living, Audrey, she's still here." Blue and tinged but she was still there. "They can't take her away, Audrey. They can't do this. They—"
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? PERCY, SHE'S GONE! SHE'S FINISHED! ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE HER ETERNAL LIFE WITH YOUR MYSTICAL, MAGICAL HANDS? ARE YOU GOING TO-TO—" Audrey dissolved into sobs. Percy had lost count of how many times this happened today.
"Audrey, you're forgotten," Percy was sitting on the ground, cradling her to his chest. "I have a gift."
And just like that, proper, loud cries were sounding out from the once quiet bundle into his arms. Once blue but was becoming rosier by the second. Percy closed his eyes. He'd doomed them all.
"Percy... what have you done?" Audrey sounded horrified.
"I gave it to her," he couldn't help it. He couldn't just let her die.
"Percy, what did you do?" Audrey's voice was more forceful this time.
Percy just stared down at her. He couldn't seem to look away from her. "I gave her everything."
He knew that he shouldn't have done what he did but he couldn't help it. What else was he going to do? Was he really going to let his child die in his arms when he could do something? No matter how foolish, no matter how very Gryffindor-like, no matter how irresponsible...
How could he just let her die?
"What did you give her, Percy?" Audrey asked more delicately. "What did you give her?"
Tears were filling his eyes as he pressed his head against the wall. "I've given her a part of my epilepsy."
"A part of it?" Audrey raised an eyebrow. "What part?"
Percy bit down his lower lip. He didn't answer.
"Percy, you're scaring me!" Audrey looked like she was going to have another breakdown any minute now.
How could he tell her?
"What part, Percy?" Audrey asked again. "What part?"
Percy stared at her with a solemn expression on his face. "The part that I could control."
He couldn't say he regretted it because he'd do it again if given the chance. She was pink! She was breathing. He could feel her life in his hands.
"Well, take it back!" Audrey was in disbelief.
Percy shook his head. "I can't," his shoulders slumped. "I don't know how to."
He wouldn't even if he could.
"Of all the stupid, hare-brained things that you've done over the last few years, this has got to be one of the most idiotic things that I've ever seen you do in my life!" Audrey exclaimed, still staring at him in wonder. She shook her head, probably attempting to digest what was acting going on. "How in Merlin's name are you supposed to fight off the God of war with the part of your epilepsy that you can't control? Do you want us all to die? Oh, Godric, first you hatch up a plan that relies on your mental sanity to work. After that, you regain some sort of semblance of reason, and then you give away the only part of your gift that you can control to—"
Percy stared at Audrey. He seemed completely unaffected by everything that she'd said, "—save our baby."
"TO SAVE OUR BABY!" Audrey exclaimed. "How utterly foolish must you—?"
She looked like she was just digesting what he was trying to say.
"To save our baby," she repeated, more calmly now. "To save our baby."
Her shoulders slumped and she stared over at the little bundle in his arms. The room itself had evaded all concepts of time and space. They'd been left alone now. Just him and her.
"I couldn't let her die," Percy said in a cracked voice.