CHAPTER 15

I layed there for a minute thinking about what he had just asked me.

"say what?" i whispered softly looking over at him.

"you said you...you loved me...now i think we both know that isnt true." he said with a smirk.

"...i didnt say that." i said as i shook my head. "its okay if you did, plenty of women love me.." he said with a scof.

I furrowed my brows "thats where youre taking it? whatever negan..." i said getting out of the bed and throwing on clothes. "ive got shit to do..." i said as i went to walk out the door.

he stood up and grabbed my wrist jerking me back "youll have shit to do when i say you have shit to do!" he yelled at me. i wasnt in the mood to deal with it so i just looked at him. "did you not hear me?! i have shit to do!" i yelled jerking away, walking out the door slamming it.

i stormed down to the front gate and told daryl to open it.

"everything okay?" he asked looking at me. "mind your buisness daryl..." i mumbled as i walked out and into the woods where i knew merle would be, and i was right. He was sitting up in a tree smoking a cigarette. "hey come down..." i said as i looked up at him. "shit girl, ya scared the fuck outta me.." he said as he began to climb down. i waited for him to get down, prepairing my self for his upcoming fit of rage over what i had said today...but to my surprise he didmt mention it.

"so you and rick are at odds i see?..." he asked leaning against the tree. "yea...he needs to understand my point of view..." i said, but regretting it after. "i didnt mean-" merle cut me off "i know what you mean..." he said tucking a hair behind my ear, revealing a hickey and bite marks.

Merle huffed and held his cigarette to me "its bad...i know...i just-" he shook his head.

"Im just going to feel like its not happening so i wont have to deal with that struggle and pain...its real i know... I just dont want it to be, i dont know what i want..." Merle had never been a man to tell his feelings and the fact that he had just said that was a big deal.

"...me either..." I mumbled

i was jolted out of my calm phase as i heard a snap in the woods. Merle pulled out his gun and stepped in front of me, my heart was pounding terrified of who if might be.

Just as merle cocked his gun a young girl stepped out, clearly shaken up by finding other living people.

"Back the fuck up!" Merle yelled aiming his gun at the curly headed girl. "Okay...put the gun down..." She said shaking, she looked about My age and she had long dark curly hair.

Merle swallowed hard and looked her up and down "what are you doing out here?" He asked her not taking the gun off her. "Living...what the hell does it look like im doing!" She said catching an additude.

A scowl appeared on merles face "let me ask the questions!" He said angrily.

"Whats your name?" I asked, i knew her...well. It had been over 7 years since ive seen her but you cant forget some people...especially her. She was my childhood best friend, my teenage years were spent with this girl. She knew everything about me... We did everything together...

It wasnt some dumb childish friendship, we grew up faster than we should have. Wed get drunk or high almost every weekend... I had to admit it was fun but we made some major mistakes.

"Hannah..." She said quietly, my heart jolted as she looked at me. I didnt say anything for a minute, lost in my own thoughts.

"D-do you know who i am?" I asked, glancing up at merle who had the most confused look on his face.

I looked back up at her as she slowly nodded her head, my emotions flying out control as tears filled my eyes "how the hell...y-youre alive!" I said running to her, wrapping my arms aroung her.

She hugged me back, this seemed like such a cliche moment in a movie or book, like it was too good to be real.

Neither of us had words, i had forgotten about merle standing there lost.

I turned around and looked at him "i know her... We need to get back... You go before me, okay?" I looked at him and he nodded walking off.

"dont say a word...about me with him, ill explain later just let me do the talking..." i said as i began to walk back.

i banged on the gates for daryl to let me in, it slowly opened and we stepped in. "go with him...you need to get cleaned up..." i said as i walked down the street to daryls house.

i walked in to see negan sitting at the kitchen table "how stupid to you think i am?" he asked in a hushed tone.

i swallowed hard and looked at him confused as he sniffed the air.

"merle is the only other person that smokes... besides my self..." he said standing up.

"and you fuckin reek sweetheart..." he growled as he slowly walked toward me.

"do you realize that your breaking my rules?" he asked angrily.

"i dont give a fuck about your rules! fuck off!" i yelled pushing him back.

thats when he wrapped his large hand around my throat pinning me against the wall.

"you think your so fucking tough now because you killed her!?" he yelled as he let go, not wanting to leave any marks.

i was so angry...not even toward him, just in general. i was confused and upset, he just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

he was staring at me with that minicing but desirable look he always gave when he was angry.

he was expecting me to cowar down to him, and when i didnt he was completely blindsided.

before i could even process the situation, my fist had already colided with the right side of his face.

i pulled back just as quick, my hand feeling like i had broken every single bone in it.

he stumbled back just a bit in dismay. "you bitch i-" i stopped him, looking up at him.

"im done! you ruined my family! you ruined my husband! you ruined my fucking life!" i yelled pushing him away, he didnt say a word.

"im not gonna do this any more! im fucking done!" i walked past him quickly.

"im done with you! im through being a leader, being your fucking bitch! fuck you!" i screamed walking out the door slamming it.

negan stood there trying to register what had just happened.

my head was so clouded with thoughts i couldnt bare to comprehend.

i began to walk, far away... i wanted to start over, this life i had here ment nothing to me anymore.

i walked away from it all, i found a car...and i left...