Joker frowned as Shepard dismissed the fire team from their post-op briefing. From what he heard, it had not been a pleasant one. Of course, nor had the mission itself.

He glanced over his shoulder as Harry informed him on what his scour of the sector reported.

And after hearing it, the pilot put his finger on the intercom for the conference room.

"Commander, there's a comm buoy nearby. I can link us in if you want to report back to the Citadel Council." He felt his strength sap form his body as the words left his mouth. "...you know, to warn them about Sovereign."

The Reapers. Their periodic Reaping. The thousands already...Reaped.

It would have been hard, maybe impossible, to swallow it if he hadn't been listening over Shepard's comm like he usual did. Should probably stop like Rosie always told him to. But Liara was right. There was no way in hell that was a VI speaking. Unless Saren had a sick sense of humor. But he didn't really take the Turian to be the 'joking' type. Any Turian really.

"They're not going to believe any of this," he heard Shepard's voice quietly respond over it. "Not without proof. We'd just be wasting our time."

"Aye, aye Commander," he simply deigned to reply. Because she was right. The Council hadn't listened before, so why would they listen now? Especially with how every last transmission between them had ended so far. He could almost laugh. Last time, after the mission to Feros, he had told Shepard that cutting them off would never get old. But like all good jokes...it had. Had grown old right when they actually needed their help the most. It had really come back around to bite them in the ass. "Yeah...Sovereign will be sitting on the Citadel's roof before those bastards listen to us."

A lull fell over the comm as he realized both their responses had been hollow. Empty rhetoric. Avoiding the topic of what happened-

He had to say something.

"Commander, I know it couldn't be easy for you down there. Having to make a call between Fredericks and Alenko must have been...it was...and when Ashley came back I-"

"In the end it doesn't matter. The mission is more important than its soldiers Joker."

It was so faint. He had almost missed the waver in her voice.

"Commander...it's not your fault. No matter which you picked, they still would have...I'm just saying...it's hard, you know-"

"Saren's still out there, Joker. Hold it together. We need you."

And just like that, she was back. The stern, commanding, charismatic voice of the Shepard returned. A voice so confident that you couldn't help but feel everything would turn out alright in the end. Though things just hadn't this time around.

Joker tugged at the end of his cap, eyes drifting down toward his feet.

"Don't worry, I won't let you down Commander."

For all the people we lost over this mission...

He stared down at his hands before quickly balling them into fists.

The ones who still live depend on us.

"I want to be there when you make that son of a bitch pay!"

"And we will," the Commander assured him. "I'll be at the CiC shortly. Send the report."

"On it."

Focusing on the interface now, he tapped a few buttons before their direct channel to the embassy was opened. Then with a quick flick, he sent the details of their most recent mission through. Only two minutes needed to pass as usual before a response from the Embassy was received.

And as a sensor indicated someone was already overlooking the Galactic Map, Joker immediately let the Commander know, having skimmed enough to know what it said.

"I forwarded the mission update to the Citadel, Commander. We've got confirmation on those reinforcements." A couple somber cheers accompanied the announcement on the bridge. "Ambassador Udina wants us to report back to the Citadel. The Council is apparently massing a joint-species fleet to deal with Saren and his Geth."

"Took them long enough," the Commander briskly replied. "Back to the Citadel, Joker. I want the Normandy at the head of that fleet!"

"Yes ma'am."

Pressly's preset navigation route to the Relay was already locked in as he started up the FTL drive of the Normandy. It'd only be a matter of time before they reached the Serpent Nebula and Citadel itself.

And then they'd catch the bastard responsible once and for all.

"I can't believe those bastards caught us with our pants down! What were they even thinking? Ground the ship? What the hell?"

"I know! I mean, you heard Joker in the CiC right? The Normandy was supposed to be at the head of a Citadel fleet! Not-"

"Not hogtied and locked away like a colonist caught by some greasy Batarian slaver?"

"Yeah! What the hell happened?!"

"...does anyone even know why?"

The silence was stifling.

"Because Udina," I decided to slur, toying with my bottle at the bar. "...is a lying slut."

"...Udina isn't really responsible for this, is he?"

"He's one of those lying bastard politician types. I wouldn't be surprised if he did sell us out!"

"Is that really true Shield?" Requisitions Officer Fantum now asked three chairs down.

I neglected to look up in response.

"...does it really matter?"

"I'm sorry?"

I slowly swiveled my stool in his direction. But not to address the guy. No, my focus was already far off into the distance, past the Embassy Lounge's balcony, out towards the traffic as its bright tints and exotic colors flew by, more than possibly imaginable. Their hues were flashing and passing before my eyes could even register what they were. Hell, hundreds of those skycars outside traveled at speeds faster than you could feasibly follow. And the very sight of it all was entrancing. Humbling. Haunting. And made me a little sick, which caused me to slacken the tight grip I currently had on my bottle.

"What would you even do about it if he was?" I coldly asked.

"Man, I'd teach that rat bastard what happens when you sell out your own race!" Rob started again.

"The Embassies are watched 24/7 Felawa-"

"You mean 20/10," Tony corrected him, who if I remembered correctly, was Adam's right-hand man down in engineering. Before Tali had come and replaced him anyway.

"Fuck that Citadel bullshit. If the Human Calendar works for us, it can do the same for everyone else," the other engineer sporting a cap cursed. I think his name was Orden, but I wasn't too familiar with him. "Anyway, like I was saying, you wouldn't even get close Felawa. C-Sec monitors everything around here. Hell, they'll probably be here in a sec to throw your dumb ass out for just saying that shit."

I took another drink as several Asari looked over in scorn. This wasn't exactly the place I imagined these guys would be going when Tony had invited me along. In fact, I'd consider the posh place the anti-thesis to the dirty marines and members of the so-called blackgang currently with me. But then again, I hadn't really cared in the first place where we were going when I had left the ship. I just wanted off. To clear my head. After my plan-

What plan? Nothing had gone right. No, Phase 1 had. I had gotten myself on Shadow Team afterall. But Phase 2 fell through when there was no Genophage cure to get. Phase 3 was sick in the first place, not something I had even truly wanted to do. And Phase 4 had just been a pipe dream, as if blatantly telling Saren to kill himself would even work.

But in the end...it didn't really matter.

I had to keep thinking.

"...so what? We're just supposed to sit here and do nothing? What's the Commander doing right now? She's not going to just sit down and allow this to happen is she?"

"Last I heard from Adams...she was headed for Huerta. Checking in on Alenko," Fantum replied.

And each man frowned, taking a swig as his name was uttered, silence falling back over the bar.

The booze itself had done little to ease the pain currently resonating in my head.

Not that the pain was physical. Though I'm sure part of it was. It was impossible not to be after what happened. My armor stopped a bullet going through my gut, leaving a bruise. Then I was hit with a biotic blast that ripped my armor and face up on the molecular level, scratches now abundant on both. And then a giant column had almost fallen on me. Which for others had-

"It's my fault!"

And most of their heads couldn't help but turn in his direction as Felawa spit out the words.

"Man if I had just gotten to him in time...if I had been closer, I could have-"

"Hey, stop that," Tony quieted him, touching his shoulder. "You can't blame yourself for what happened."

"But he's-"

"Still alive. And that's all that matters Robert. We just need to keep him in our thoughts and pray in the end that everything will turn out alright. Alright?"

"Alright?" the engineer next to him scoffed. "...you did see him before they carted him off, didn't you? A two-ton slab fell on top of him Tony! He was flattened like a fuckin' pancake! There's no way he's gonna make it-"

"Shut the hell up Orden!" Tony yelled at him, attracting a piercing glare from a nearby group.

But in some sense...the guy had been right. The stone pillar towering above us had been completely obliterated by the Geth ship, toppling over like a Jenga tower and...and Kaidan hadn't been so lucky.

No, that was wrong.

He had chosen not to be.

"He only got hit because he had been protecting the bomb," my voice left my lips coldly. "If it wasn't for him...we wouldn't have made it out."

"You...you saw what happened?" Rob only muttered.

"A piece of debris from the pillar was about to land on the nuke. And Kaidan flung it away with his biotics. That was the only reason why he was hit by the rest. There wouldn't have been anything you could have done to stop it." Not even the biotics nearby had been able to. Though if they hadn't immediately gone to help him...if Kaidan had been left buried under there a second too long...

Yet still, he was in critical condition when Rob had brought him aboard with me. Even the veteran doctor who had been through Shanxi, Mindoir, the Skyllian Blitz...had been at a loss for words.

Shepard had thought he was dead. You could see it on her face.

The look she had when he had suddenly coughed-

"To Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko," Fantum replied next to Rob, holding up his drink.

After a small pause, we all decided to repeat the name and take another swig.

"...so Udina huh?"

Rob absentmindedly traced the rim of his drink in response.

"Him and the Council."

"How can you be so sure Shield?"

"Yeah, you always do seem to know what's going on don't you? So how exactly did the Normandy's lockdown get past that information network of yours-"

"It didn't."

"Wha-" Fantum stared at me dumbly for a second before recovering. "Get out of here! Why didn't you warn someone then? Why-"

"I told Joker." I almost went to the Commander too. But she would have just said the same as him. "But why would anyone have believed me in the first place? They had an actual message telling them the exact opposite of what I was saying. The Council itself said it was going to send in a fleet. Not a peep about taking the Normandy out of commission."

"But if you had evidence, you could have convinced them, couldn't you?!"

"Hmph." I just snorted at Rob's reply. "I didn't have any evidence. So at the end of the day, there's no one to blame for any of it besides Udina. It is what it is."

He only furrowed his brows and frowned in response. And then the capped engineer spoke up.

"...it was your ship though, wasn't it? So we can blame you for what happened to the others right?"

I really didn't like Orden all that much.

"Shut the hell up Laflamme!" Tony chided him again.

The only survivor of the Third Regiment on our ship, Ganto, had said something similar before disembarking to report to the Salarian Union upon our arrival. That it-

"-wasn't your fault either Shield, alright? Things there just spiraled out of our control. Anyone's control."

"I know," I immediately shot back at Fantum, not in the mood for the discussion.

I knew it wasn't my fault.

Kirrahe's teams had just failed to do what they did every time you played that level in the game.

Level. Heh.

So I couldn't blame that outcome on myself. There was no way I could have accounted for it.

"I...I never actually heard about that," Rob muttered now. "I was with Tanaka in the infirmary when someone mentioned it in passing. What happened to-"

"Shield's sorry excuse for a ship got them all killed," Orden spoke plainly.

"That's not confirmed," Fantum interjected. "Gladstone just lost the ship's heat signature after the thermal spike from the nuke blinded their sensors. And comm specialist Slint-"

"You mean Harry?" Rob asked.

"You know him? Yeah, Harry wasn't able to raise them on the comms after we lost them-"

"So they were killed in the nuclear blast. Maybe because the ship sucked, maybe because Salarians don't know how to pilot, maybe because Shield sabotaged it because he's a traitor like the Commander's always-"

"I think you've had enough," Tony immediately replied, yanking Orden up by the collar. "I'm bringing you back to the dorm."

"Fine!" Orden snapped back while pulling away from the balding man. "I didn't want to sit around moaning about this shit all day anyways! Because I actually want to do something about all this! Don't you?! Why are you all so content to just throw your hands in the air and give up-"

"I'M NOT GIVING UP!"

I'm sure my voice shocked them. Everyone around us.

But I wasn't giving up.

I wasn't just sitting here moaning. Moping. Whining.

I wasn't.

I stared at him indignant, already on my feet facing him.

"Unlike you Laflamme, who's just bitching and blaming all our problems on random shit to make yourself feel better, I'm actually in the middle of doing something about it."

"Oh, you are? You have a plan, do you?"

"I'm working on it."

"Oh, okay then Marauder Shield. Please. Enlighten us. I know I'll be eagerly waiting with open arms for when your genius finally shows itself and saves us all. You traitor-"

"Get the hell out of here man," Rob said as Tony jostled Laflamme outside.

I sat back down and returned to my drink, finding the empty bottle reflecting a distorted face. Rob and Fantum decided to watch the two engineers go before returning to the company present.

"...the mission shook a lot of people up. Things got pretty bad back there. So don't judge him for just now Shield. Everyone expresses their frustration in different ways-"

"I know."

Fantum rubbed his neck before getting up from his seat too.

"I think I'm actually going to call it a night guys. I've been promising my mom a call once we were finally ground side and haven't got the chance to yet." He glanced back before solemnly nodding to us one last time. "Catch you all later."

And as he left...it was down to just the two of us.

Felawa peered at his drink beside me, deep in thought about something, though I couldn't possibly know what. We had talked about a lot this past hour.

"...so you said you had a plan to get us out of this Rod?"

"...yeah," I quietly replied. "Maybe. Almost. I just-"

"Is it a way for us to get the Normandy out of lockdown? I mean, you must know people in the control tower with your connections right? Or the Citadel? People that could actually lift the lockdown if you just-"

"Yeah. I do."

His eyes lit up. "Really?! So we could actually-"

"But do we even really want to?"

And the question clearly had taken him aback.

"Wha...what do you mean?"

"Rob...what if Saren attacks the Citadel after the Normandy leaves? What would you do then? If you missed the chance to stop him from opening the door for the Reapers because you were on your way to a place he had already visited and left? What if you end up chasing Saren down to Ilos but it's too late, and he's already gone? There's so many different things that could happen. So many things that could go wrong. So it would be stupid to just go rushing in. Wouldn't it be better to-"

I stopped when I saw the puzzled look on his face.

"Uh...I guess man? I mean, it's good to think things through once in a while, not rush in to things blindly...but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try right? We still gotta try regardless of the odds against us don't we?"

And after a while, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Um, you okay Rod?"

"Haha...no, you're right. Sorry. Just realized something funny."

Yeah. I had just realized that I really couldn't help it. Overthinking was just in my nature. All the what ifs. All the second guessing. The paralyzing indecision of making the wrong choice. Thought so much that the thought of the thoughts themselves became useless and I forgot about why I was even thinking about the thought of the thing I thought about it in the first place thought. And I had never accomplished anything thru it.

All the missed opportunities. All the missions that had gone the same because I refused to act.

Actions are what change things, not thoughts.

I knew that now.

Marauder Shield doesn't think.

He does.

With a pitiable sigh, I quickly opened my omni-tool and began typing the letter I had already been forming in my head, being sure to use the address I had received in my talk with Joker earlier. In case things had changed more than I remembered. Just to be safe-

"Hey, Rod?"

"...yeah?"

"If you really do have a plan to get us back in the running...you should talk with the Commander about it too. If you let her know, I'm sure she would be able to make it happen man."

"Rob, Shepard hates to even look at me. I don't think-"

"She doesn't hate you dude. She just...hates that you're never honest. I know you have your secrets and all Rod, but that's like what she dislikes most. All the Commander really asks from any of us is to just be straight when we talk with her. No games. No passive-aggressive stuff or mind games or anything like that. When you talk with her, just speak from the heart. If you treat her with that kind of respect...she'll do the same man. Like she always says, 'Trust. That's what a mission needs to succeed.'...you know?"

"...hmph."

Felawa then turned his face up to the ceiling.

"I know you and the Commander never really saw eye to eye when you were on the ship man but...hey. I'd trust her with my life. I'd trust her with all our lives dude. She's the only one you can count on to get things done no matter the odds. And that's the truth."

"...wow." The guy nodded his head along with the sage words that had just left his mouth. And in response, I could only stare at him in disbelief. "That last part was from Blasto, wasn't it."

And he immediately froze where he was.

"...you saw that episode huh."

"Ayup."

Blasto fights the Rogue Matriarch.

"Oh."

The man could only hang his head in shame for wanting to pawn that horribly written shit off as his own.

"...that was so bad, I don't think I can even look at you anymore. Get the hell out of here."

But despite his poor taste in film as I pointed my finger to the exit...I had to give it to him. The quote had been apt. Maybe I should do just that.

Because for the current predicament we were in...it was the truth.

For us, there was only one person you could count on to get things done. No matter the odds.

"Without the expected reinforcements...that will significantly decrease the odds of our success." "You've seen the visions from the beacon, Shepard. You, of all people, should understand what the reapers are capable of!" "We just lost contact with the Erros Commander...they're gone." "Nobody is messing with my head anymore! I'm sick of dealing with these visions!" "He's in critical condition Commander. He might not make it through the night." "The Conduit's on Ilos! That's where Saren is heading. And we'll be waiting for him when he gets there!" "We've locked out all the Normandy's primary systems. Until further notice, you're grounded." "You're the only one who can stop Saren Shepard...I believe in you."

She could only stare blankly at the locker in front of her as a million words and one grasped for her attention.

...how did everything go so wrong?

She felt her hand press itself against the cold locker.

...how did this happen?

Her body dropped down to its knees.

...how did-

Her back slowly slid down against the locker as she shut her eyes.

It was all because of her. Because she had failed again. Failed to do her sole duty as a Commander. As a leader. And what she had said when people kept trying to comfort her...

She shut her eyes in frustration.

The mission did not come before the soldiers. It should never have to.

She had made a vow when she became a marine. When she became an N7.

Never again.

But-

Virmire. Eden Prime. Torfan. Mindoir!

Again and again! She always lost the people close to her. No matter how hard she tried. No matter what steps she took! She never believed that Anderson's words would apply to her because she'd be better than the rest. She had to be. But they always-

She heard somebody sit themselves down at the opposite end of the locker row. And for the first time in a long while...she didn't have the strength to hide what she was currently feeling. To hold her head high in light of the circumstances. To wear a mask and reassure them that everything would be alright. She couldn't make herself look the part of a leader despite everything that's happened. Not right now. Because who could call themselves one when they had lost their crew, their ship, their-

"I thought I might find you here."

And the voice immediately made her regret her decision.

"...I'm not in the mood. Leave me be," she could only mutter pathetically. Of all the people to have come aboard-

"Heh. It's funny you say that...because you know...I happened to ask myself that a lot since I met you. From the very beginning. Why I didn't just...leave you be. Just go about my own way after Eden Prime. Maybe to Earth. Or the Citadel. Omega. I mean, that very first time on Eden Prime you pushed me to the fore when I said I didn't even have combat training-"

"It was because I thought you were involved with the Geth. It was so you couldn't shoot us in the back at the first opportunity you got."

She had been planning to ignore him. Or just simply bear the shame of allowing him to see her at her worst while she walked away.

"-oh. Right. Haha. I remember now. Yeah, you accused me of killing Nihlus back then didn't you? Tossed me around the med bay like a rag doll trying to get me to confess. That was pretty funny looking back at it now."

But he was just so damn arrogant.

"Despite what you may think though, I really didn't appreciate all the criticism and punishment I took from you while I was aboard this ship. I'm no masochist Shepard. I think...pretty sure. Maybe a little bit. I don't know. It's up in the air."

Like she even cared about anything the annoying cunt had to say.

"But...yeah, I thought about it. Why I never really faulted you for any of it. After all the abuse and accusations and character assassination...why I still wanted to be aboard this ship. Tolerate your presence. The hate. And after our mutual split...I guess I kind of had the time to finally realize the why."

Hearing every little word that left his mouth was like living thru N-School all over again.

He was just so damn annoying she couldn't help but be brought down to his level and respond. Every word was just so infuriating-

She clenched her fist and finally raised her head from where it had been laying.

"Dammit! Just spit it out or shut up and leave already Shield! I don't have time to coddle you-"

"It's because I admire you Shepard."

And for the first time...she realized how quiet the Normandy was when it wasn't running. Like Tali had said...the silence aboard a ship was deafening.

"Yeah. Because...you're an icon. A hero. No matter what happens around you...what goes wrong, what people say, whatever obstacles are thrown in your way...you're always so...sure of yourself. You're so charismatic that people follow you wherever you go just because you're...you. Because you believe in yourself so goddamn much. And also because you're important. Heh. No matter what anyone says, you're at the center of galactic events. Every decision you choose, every key choice you make, everything you do affects the entire galaxy around you. For better or worse."

She couldn't leave. Though she wished that she could. It was like a wreck you couldn't avert your eyes from. Wished that it wasn't actually happening. That he wasn't currently saying the things he was. Just being in the vicinity of it was so sickening she was sure she was going to vomit.

"I...I wish I could feel like that. Feel like I was worth something. So that I didn't have to constantly second guess everything I ever did. Have at least some inkling of confidence to be proud of the few things I've accomplished. I guess I hoped that by just being around you...helping you, in at least some small way...I was hoping that I could feel like I was...maybe important for once."

She wished that he was lying, just mocking her in his own annoying way.

But she could tell just by listening to him. By looking at that pathetic face. And-

No. Anyone with eyes could see that the words coming out his mouth was actually, completely, sickeningly...genuine.

"...I guess for the first time in my life...I wanted to feel like I mattered-"

"Why are you telling me this."

She couldn't even look him in the face as she asked.

Why.

"Because I wanted you to know the truth Shepard," he simply replied without shame, standing where he was now awkwardly, completely unembarrassed by the filth that had just left his mouth. But-

The truth?

"Why I keep following you around. It's not because I'm trying to further some conspiracy's agenda or sabotage your mission. It's not even about Saren. Not really. I just lied because...I just wanted to protect my own ego. It was all really just so I could live out my own pathetic fantasy as a hero."

...how far was he really willing to take this?

"...then tell me why you attempted to save the Rachni. How could that have-"

"Completely by accident."

He didn't even blink while saying it. And she could only shut her eyes in response.

"...bullshit. Do you know that Garrus and Tali confronted me after that? Tried to convince me that your decision hadn't been wrong in the end? That saving them would have been the ethical one-"

"No idea what button I was pressing. Didn't even have a choice in mind."

She gritted her teeth, and still unable to look at him, turned her eyes back downward toward her feet. Because unlike the fake explanation he had given her during their second confrontation in the med bay...his words this time just...felt honest. Unlike all the rest.

"...if you...then what about the rest Shield? The first things you said. All the stories about the Shadow Broker and where you get your intel and why-"

"Long story short, I have a thing in my head that helps me keep track of important information. Called a gray box-"

The hell's a gray box-

"And the STG confirmed it with a scan on Virmire. But that's old news. I just thought you wouldn't believe me Shepard."

No. He had mentioned that when was in the airlock. But that...just like then, he was still-

"Like I said Shepard, I've made a lot of mistakes. But I know this isn't one of them." The idiot swiped at his nose. "I'm here right now to tell you that we can still fix things. That you shouldn't give up-"

"Who says I was giving up?!"

The man recoiled as she shot up from where she had been curling up, refuting him. She wasn't giving up. She was-

And the thought soon caused her to reflexively look back toward the locker she had just been sitting against...in despair. She had completely forgotten why she was here once he had just started...talking with her. She had forgotten what their circumstances currently were.

"...it's not too late to stop Saren Shepard."

But he was wrong.

"...it is Shield. I showed them the truth and they still won't believe. The Normandy's locked down. The crew's suspended. The Council isn't sending in their fleet. Sov-"

"You saw the vision Shepard! You know the Conduit is on Ilos. And you know Saren's headed there for it. I'd never expect you'd to just give up due to a little setback-"

Setback?!

She couldn't stifle the feelings that immediately welled within her when the word reached her ears.

"They DIED Shield! Hector, Clark, Ashley!" Her fist banged against the locker with every name. "And Kirrahe, along with the rest of his men! Because I chose the mission over them! Because of me-"

"You don't know that."

Her mind came to an immediate stop as it attempted to decipher the words that had just left his lips.

"...What?"

"Just because you lost contact with their ship doesn't mean they died Shepard."

Then she almost laughed once she realized what he had meant.

"Don't just give someone empty platitudes, Shield. You know what you're saying isn't true. They're gone."

"You thought the same about Kaidan when you first saw him didn't you? That he was gone?"

Anyone would have made the same assumption. He-

"Even I did. But he turned out to be still hanging on to life, didn't he? Despite looking like death? And so did everyone else for that matter. No one escaped unscathed from Virmire Shepard. Not even you," he said, gesturing to where her stomach had been bandaged by Chakwas. "So why can't the Erros' fate be the same as Kaidan's? It's comm system or FTL drive might have just hit a snag when outrunning the blast. Or it might have run out of fuel, stopped to pick up a hitchhiker, capture Saren, who knows? Why don't you have a little faith in someone for once?"

And at that moment, after all her paranoia and assumptions...she realized the man really was just a bumbling idiot that put his foot in his mouth far too often.

"Do you really believe that? ...because that's childish, even for you Shield."

The man dressed in the dirty Alliance fatigues Kaidan had once given him just sighed in response.

"Shepard...if I told you that fate demanded Ashley or Kaidan die that day...and that no matter what choices you made or what actions you took, that there was nothing you could do to change that fact...the fact that SOMEONE had to die there...would you believe me?"

She begrudgingly decided to humor him.

"No. Why the hell would I?"

"Hah, exactly!" his somber face immediately replied with a grin. "Even if you're told or hear something...that doesn't mean it's true. Or that you have to believe it. So, I say, why the hell does the Erros have to be destroyed at all? Why can't it just be straggling along, and show up at the Citadel a week from now? Hell...I'd be willing to bet on it."

"That kind of optimism is stupid, naïve, and dangerous, Shield."

"Call it what you want...but nothing's over until you give up Shepard. You can't change the past. But you can go forward. Any possibility, anything at all can be yours the moment you take that step onwards. You just have to seize that possible future you want yourself. And that's the truth."

...what the hell kind of fortune cookie did he-

"Liara?"

The name escaped her lips as she suddenly spotted the Asari's eyes disappear around the corner. Shield turned around toward the corner as they slowly came to peek back out.

"I...I apologize for intruding Commander," the doctor replied as she left the safety of the wall. "I didn't think anyone was here. But then I saw you on the dock and-"

"It's fine Liara," Shield replied, cutting the meek Asari off. "I was just about finished telling the Commander how we can get the Normandy out of lockdown anyway."

"What?!"

"Oh, did I not mention that yet?" the man immediately replied with a still infuriating smirk. "Was trying to work toward it. Just got a message from Anderson telling us to meet him at the Purgatory Bar. Right near the Presidium. Spread the word. Probably should get going actually."

When had he been in contact with Anderson?! Was that how he-

"Is he appealing to the Council? Did he get them to reverse their decision?" Liara suddenly inquired.

"I think he'd like to tell Shepard that himself," Shield cryptically replied, already walking past the Asari to the stairs.

"Then may I come as well? After everything that's occurred...I would like to see this through," Liara gently asked.

"Yeah, of course. The entire ground team should be present for it. So come on. We got a Galaxy to save."

A grimace appeared on her face as she found herself being forced to tail the man who continued onward without another word.

"And like Shield, I..." The Asari beside the Commander looked at her full of concern.

"...I believe in you too Shepard. I'm glad you're not walking away. I am with you every step of the way."

"...thank you Liara."

She then gave the Asari a curt nod, not intending to let Shield out of her sight. He was still hiding things but...despite everything. Against her better judgement...she believed that he really did just want to help.

Codex Entry:

David Anderson's N1 Graduate Address of 2176

"So...here we are. It was about twenty years ago to the dot that I was seated where you all are now. I know, I'm much older than I look. Haha, yes...but...here you all are. The best and the brightest. The best men and women that the Alliance and Humanity has to offer. But I'm not here to talk to you about that today. After what you've all been through, I'm sure you all already know that. Have had that pounded into your brains. No, what I'm here for today is to talk to you all about the implications of this. Graduating that is. What being N7 really means.

There any many things they that make one a good soldier. Honor. Loyalty. Courage. Strength. A sense of duty, the ability to understand and follow orders, the ability to work under pressure and countless others. All go into making a good soldier. But...what makes a good leader? As N'ers, others will look to you for guidance. Place their bets on whatever decision you make. So...how do you know what'll be right? What the right choice to make will be?

What makes a good leader?

In my experience...a good leader is someone who values the life of his men over the success of the mission. But understands that sometimes, the cost of failing a mission is higher than the cost of losing those men. When you first join the military, whether it be the Alliance or otherwise, the first things you learn include marching, shooting, survival...stuff like that...combat skills. The simple blocks that lay down the foundation for active duty. Knowing once you've been trained for combat, it follows logically that, however remote the chances, you might see combat...and as eventual N7 operatives, I know, and you know, that you all will. That once you're out on the field, you'll have to make the hardest decisions you've ever made in you entire lives. Decisions that'll mean the difference between life and death for many.

A general by the name of George S. Patton once said 'The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That's the time to listen to every fear you can imagine. When you have collected all the facts and fears, made your decision...that's when you turn off all your fears and go ahead!"

If you're worried about making the wrong decision...unfortunately...I can guarantee that you'll make one. And that it'll have catastrophic consequences.

In my twenty two years as a marine, I've learned that there's no way to avoid this. The problem with war is that it isn't orderly. And the enemy is never predictable. Even the most experienced veteran is going to find themselves in situations they haven't trained for. In those instances, and there's more than I'd like to admit, your instincts are the only thing keeping you alive. That, and the men and women you're fighting beside. We pulled each other's asses out of the fire on more than just one occasion. I trusted my team with my life... and they never let me down.

And I'm telling you all this so that when that time comes...when you have to make that decision, you'll do it knowing that the men and women beside you understand. They bleed alongside you knowing that you did all that you could to make the right decision. That you did your duty as a good leader. That's all that you can ask of yourself in the end."

Author's Notes:

I was originally going to release this yesterday...but then because of the implications, I decided not to. I shudder to think what would happen had I posted this on Valentine's Day. I've gotten too many PMs about it. I won't do it you animals. I refuse. Call me Dr. Iceberg because I'm sinking this ship. Shepield ain't happening. EVER. So stop it!

And yeah, the person Shep saw was indeed Alenko on that stretcher. Yet he wasn't even actually dead! Damn those stupid, purposefully misleading, morally bankrupt cliffhangers for making you think otherwise. Shield was just hit with a warp and Felawa came out of it all just fine and dandy. Shame on you to those who thought I'd just sacrifice him because he's an ancillary character. Shame! NPC lives matter. However, something did happen to Ashley and the STG on the MSV Erros offscreen so...eh. Oh the annoying bait and switches! Oh the unnecessary retcons! Woe to be to whoever actually reads this story!

Your guess as to how everything turns out after the Normandy's regrouping at Purgatory is as good as mine.

Reviews. I guess.

I was gonna type out an endless amount of zeroes for your name, but then I thought that would be childish, and then I realized it was impossible, so I just wrote this entire sentence out instead - Bruh. If Shield was gonna die, you can be damn sure he'd go out in a blaze of glory then get killed by a single warp from Saren, geez. Like I said, dude escapes from the clutches of death like every chapter. Having him saved at the last moment is practically obligatory at this point. Though I gotta say, Shield as a zombie is starting to sound pretty tempting...

Priapus, aka, the God of Ass - I rather have Shepard evolve into Garchomp. Now that's a badass pokemon. Dragontrainer4lyfe. But yeah, Saren trying to convince himself he's not indoctrinated is one of my favorite parts of the game. Fred Tatiascore's top notch. Was gonna try and capitalize on that. And did you mean Huey from Metal Gear? Because if so, that guy was far from insane. I remember him being the nicest guy. Great father, loved to swim, had a way with words. Great Character.

Mazda - Good, good. Maybe Trump won't deport you now. You're welcome.

EF23 - Tensions like you won't believe son. And according to this chapter...no one is! Yaaay!

The Divine Crusader - Naaaaw, he was totally safe on ship when that thing popped off. I don't care what Stan Lee says or how sophisticated armor is in Mass Effect. You get exposed to nuclear radiation, you're gonna have a bad time. Though you do walk around on Tuchanka without a helmet, which is the mother of all nuclear wastelands so...eh. Shield becoming Robo-Stein and going all T1 on everyone's ass would be pretty dope though. Would surely be a choice of Stein's Gate. Shit, I'd watch that anime.

Bannorn of Redcliffe - You know what happens when you assume? You end up making an ass of u and...urself. Shield's master scheme went even better than you thought after this chapter's exposition eh? Asides from the STG and half of the marines being MIA. And Kaidan being in ICU. Yeah, at least no one's dead! For sure. Maybe. However, I'm glad you have such faith in our idiot despite his shortcomings. But you'd be surprised to find how stupid he is. I mean, Shield's so stupid, that if you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change. Shield's so stupid, that when he reached rock bottom, he started to dig. Shield's so stupid, it took him over 3 hours to watch 60 Minutes. Shield's so I ran out of material. And may he be with you.

Dekupound - Well look no further. Because you already read it.

Toothless is Best - Well Mordin runs a penniless free clinic on Omega so what does he know. And WRONG #NoMoreDeadSquadMates

In the next chapter: The Finale Is Nigh.

Tune in next time on Mass Effective: A Hero Made!