Mass Effect Elevator Music - 15 minutes worth (As that's how long someone should listen to this. I'm not ashamed to say I did.)

"..."

"..."

"..."

If I learned anything at all during my exile in Kithoi Ward, it was this.

I loathed the elevator song.

I enjoyed it because of the simple nostalgia at first. Like the fool I was. Then because it was mildly humorous seeing how much everyone else hated it. Because, like, who could possibly despise such a light-hearted and campy tune? It was crazy. Then I realized after spending half an hour stuck in an elevator, alone with my thoughts and the music, that, oh, I did. Its chirpy yet innocuous, mild, anodyne horns blaring over and over and over. Its bland, unvarying, simplistic harmony, replayed ad nauseum. Its lack of syncopation and stale, mind-numbing over-reliance on the concept of transformation to Narmour's prosodic rules for creating rhythmic successions based on one's melodic expectations.

Its unnecessarily, repetitive, monotonous redundancy.

The only thing I currently appreciated it for was for the fact that it had at least been making all our elevator rides just a little less awkward. We had run out of things to discuss after finishing the first one. And my refusal to spoil Anderson's surprise at all had both my party members eventually just give up on trying. Which then resulted in a long, harrowing, depressing silence.

I do hate to imagine what the last few rides would have been like had the hellish elevator tune been absent. Thankfully however, the elevators at least played the occasional news report over the intercom to spice things up now and then-

"In other news, the ever popular Citadel Club Flux was recently closed when a turf war erupted inside its premises between two unnamed gangs. The incident resulted in seven injured, with three reported dead by eye witnesses, though no bodies were officially reported by C-Sec. Captain Decian Chellick had this to say-"

So that's why Anderson told us to meet him at Purgatory instead huh? I never did check on what happened to that place after I conked out did I. Could only hope those dead mentioned had been Broker agents-Hoh?

Two gangs? That couldn't be right. Where did they get that number? Why would they think that-

"Did the news just mention that the club's name was Flux? Was that not the establishment we all visited together upon returning from Therum Shepard?"

"Yeah. It was."

Ah, it didn't matter. It was all over and done with.

"Then that is a shame to hear...while I cannot say that I was fond of its large crowds or loud music, I did enjoy the time we all spent there together."

"That had been a... memorable night, hadn't it?"

Oh yeah. It had been so long ago, I almost forgot-

"Yes. Against my expectations, I had quite a bit of...fun," she replied with a smile. "I hadn't been in a room with so many people for so long, I didn't think I would be able to enjoy myself. But after our server brought us those exotic drinks, and then after Shield had come off stage-"

I'm pretty sure my eyes widened as much as Shepard's as we both suddenly recalled the event in question at the same time.

"Oh my god."

"Mmmm, yup, that had been a crazy night hadn't it huh? Oh yeah! Hey Liara, did I ever mention that after you all left that Garrus and I actually-"

"I thought that had been a bad dream thanks to all those drinks I had," Shepard murmured, already looking my way, her face currently a combination of fear and disgust. "You're telling me that was real?!"

"Are you speaking of Shield's performance Commander? I believe Chief Ashley had sent me a recording if you wish to see-"

"Oh, I knew it was her! That traitor-"

"You," Shepard began to seethe, "...you were one of them from the very start, weren't you?!"

I winced at the accusation and all the harsh implications she was now hurling in my direction.

"...it all makes sense. Following us around. What you just said in the...oh god. You are actually one of those weirdos-"

And at that moment, the elevator came to a stop, gloriously opening its doors, letting the light of the Presidium shine in and for me to escape.

"-aren't you? Hell, I just met one of you people the other day. Conrad Verner. Name ring a bell?"

Aw, don't compare me to Conrad-

"Okay first, I said I respect you Shepard. And who doesn't okay? You're the first Human Spectre ever. You're gonna have some fans. Get over yourself."

I began walking at a brisk pace toward the club as she continued to hound me, elevator music already faltering in the distance. For as soon as I was inside, the obnoxiously loud music of the club and Anderson would distract her from this. But...I also couldn't let her think I was some...fanboy or something by just dropping the topic too. Ohhhh, that would make things weird. And things were already pretty weird.

Jeez, show someone your heart and this is how they repay you. I knew honesty was overrated.

"Fans?" she only retorted. "You people are all obsessed."

"Uh, you didn't let me finish. I was about to say, secondly, you must also be incredibly narcissistic and/or delusional if you think I'm even close to worshipping you like that loser does-"

"Oh, so you do know him?"

Doh.

"...whaaa? Conrad whatshisface? Who's that? I've certainly never heard that name or met anyone like that before-"

"You're so horrible at lying it's almost laughable."

Well...I didn't. Face to face anyway. So technically, I'm kind of sort of telling the truth. So suck on that Shepard-

"Are you speaking about that man who stopped you in the Lower Wards for an autograph Comman-"

"Why the hell do you all feel the need to bury your noses into someone else's life so much?!"

"Shepard, I don't know what you even talkin' bout. I don't know what you're even saying. What are you even saying Shepard?"

"I'm saying you're a member of one of those stomach-churning fan sites-"

"Woah. Woah! Now that's a serious accusation Shepard. How dare you. No, how DARE you even lump me in with those people! I only visited one once. Recently."

To watch that video of the 'Shepard Song' circulating the extranet. And of course, I had instantly regretted it. Because-

"-it was sick. So sick. God it made me sick. Sickening tabloid journalism. I can't believe you'd even associate me with them. Or that guy Conrad whatshisface for that matter...sick!"

"I don't think that man's actions seemed particularly malicious when we spoke with him Shepard-"

Which caused the Commander to suddenly rear on T'Soni before launching her next verbal assault on me instead.

"Well Liara, you can't exactly say that about the man when you were guilty of the exact same thing yourself."

"Wha...I already told you Commander! I was just curious about you, and I did not want to embarrass myself again!"

"But you could have just asked me like any normal person instead of digging into my past and invading my privacy!"

"Woah, no need to lay on Liara, Commander. I thought you were angry with me here. She's not the one who's been asking for your autograph, or for your pictures, or to make them a Spectre-"

She wheeled right back around to me after I spoke.

Doh. Too much. I had said too much.

Then I realized I had stopped where I was.

Doh again. I immediately resumed power walking through the entrance of the club, continuing on before I was completely ensnared in her unavoidable crossfire.

Mass Effect 3 - Purgatory, OST fixed with bass boost (Play for that nostalgia and mood setting...or because I told you too. Have I ever steered you wrong yet?!)

"So you do know him then?! Is that what you all talk about at your...meetings? Those disturbing 'fan clubs'? To just get pictures and memorabilia of my likeness? Why can't you weirdos just-"

"No way," I could only bleat when it hit me, stopping dead in my tracks again, causing Shepard to almost run into me with her pursuit.

"What's your problem Shield?!"

And I slowly turned my face over my shoulder, eyes innocently peering back.

"You're not...embarrassed, are you Commander?"

The woman's own piercing green eyes caused me to die a little inside as they simply stared daggers back.

"What the hell are you talking about."

But I had to grin and fight through it. No matter the consequences.

"Oh my god...you totally are." I then tried to stifle the stupid smirk growing on my face but I just couldn't help it. It was too late for me. I was already dead where I stood. Might as well embrace it. And the indignant look she was currently making just gave me too much to work with. "You're just not used to getting so much attention, aren't you? You're-"

"What?! That's not it at all. It's just that all you weirdos and your obsessions with one person are just disturbing-"

"And that's the explanation behind those weird faces you were making back on the Normandy while I was complimenting you, wasn't it!? Because you were just embarrasssssed," I finished in a sing-song voice. Or as close as I could get to one.

But of course, the real reason for that had been because the entire conversation had been extremely awkward. I regretted everything that left my mouth despite it all working out in the end. Because damn had that been awkward. Every awkward word that had come out my awkward mouth had hurt my awkward-

"Shut up! You don't know what the hell you're talking about Shield!"

And then...I saw my opportunity to deal the death knell.

"Oh? Really? Cuz it kinda looks like I do. I mean...you should see how red your cheeks are right now Shepard. They're adorable. They look like teeny-weeny, bo-beeny, baby tomatoes. You're just not used to all the compliments and praise coming your way since becoming a Spectre of interstellar fame, are you?! Admit it!"

Like a dummy, even Liara now joined my ranting crusade.

"Is that true Shepard? Have you just been...embarrassed by all the attention you've been-"

"I am NOT embarrassed!"

"Shepard?"

And the smooth, creamy, chocolate voice of Keith David called out her name above the club's bumpin' music. Shepard immediately went rigid in response, slowly turning her head around toward where the voice had just come from. Classic Misdirection. Never fails. Say something stupid and people forget what you were even talking about in the first place. And she didn't even hurt me before we reached Anderson. Dare I say...mission accomplished?

"Captain. I-" And I think that was when Shepard first noticed all the others already gathered at the large booth. "...what's everyone doing here?"

Doctor Chakwas was the first to answer her.

"We're all here for you Commander. If you still intend on pursuing Saren, you can be sure the rest of us will be standing right behind you when you do."

And in addition to Doctor Chakwas at the booth, there was Chief Engineer Adams, and Chief Navigator Pressly. Joker, Garrus, Tali and Wrex. The essential officers of the Normandy and its ground team all present. The guy had really come through when I asked him to get the word out.

"Captain?"

"I'm glad you came Shepard," Anderson deemed to answer her next. "I heard what happened. It was under-handed of them to do that to you."

"...it was just like when they forced you to give up the Normandy Captain. They pulled us off the mission and-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to warn you, but there was no way to get a message to you before you docked."

Shepard took the last open seat at the booth.

"Udina's gonna pay for what he did. I can promise you that-"

"I know you're pissed off right now Shepard, but we have bigger things to address than one back-stabbing politician. They all think this is over, but we both know it's not. You have to go to Ilos. You have to stop Saren from using the Conduit."

Shepard frowned in response, placing an elbow on the table.

"There's only one ship that can get me into the Terminus Systems undetected, and she's currently grounded."

"That might not be for long," Adams replied with a smile.

Shepard eyed the man before returning her attention to Anderson.

"...Shield mentioned that you had a plan to get us out of here Captain."

Anderson only smiled in response.

"It's true that Citadel Control's locked out all the Normandy's systems. But with Shield and Garrus' verification, we know that if we override the ambassadors' orders, we can get C-Sec to bring the Normandy back online. You can be in the Terminus Systems before anyone even knows you're gone."

"If we steal the Normandy, you're going to be the one left holding the bag Captain."

"And if Saren finds the Conduit, life as we know it is over," Anderson stated rather harshly. "The Reapers will destroy us. Humans, Asari, Turians, everybody! You're the only one who can stop him Shepard. So I'll do whatever it takes to get you all on the Normandy and off this station."

"But stealing the Normandy is mutiny. What if the crew won't help me?"

And one of the officers immediately took offense to that.

"This crew has sacrificed so much for you Shepard. But they're all willing to sacrifice even more if you simply ask it. Don't doubt that."

"Yeah, give us a little credit Commander," Joker quipped immediately after the Doctor. "We've come this far. Why stop now?"

"They're both right Shepard. The Normandy's your ship now. Her crew will follow you to the ends of the Galaxy. We all know that."

"Thank you," she replied quietly, glancing over most everyone present. "Thanks, all of you. I won't forget this. I promise."

And everyone present gave her the same in return, nodding their heads and shooting thumbs-up in response. Because this was the team of the Normandy. Shepard's team. Anyone with an inkling of common sense would know they'd have her back no matter what.

"After some recent digging, I found out that you can free the Normandy from the Citadel Control Tower," Adams spoke up next.

"Huh-"

"Right, which means I can go in and unlock the Normandy from one of their consoles," Anderson followed up. "You'll have a few minutes before anyone realizes what's happened."

"Wait a sec-"

"I didn't realize you planned on going yourself when you asked," Garrus interrupted. "That's a restricted area patrolled by armed guards. How are you going to get in?"

"Don't forget, the Captain did use to be an N7," Pressly responded to Garrus.

"Still am Charles. So, leave that to me. Just make sure you're in the Normandy when the systems come back online."

"I thought you got my message Anderson," I eventually decided to blurt since stammering had done me no good.

"I did. But I wasn't sure if we could risk it. If it didn't work-"

"What's Shield talking about Captain? If there's another way, I want to hear it. I'm not fond of the idea of you walking into that place on your own," Shepard asked.

"Well I proposed that Anderson pay a visit to Udina's office instead. He could just as easily reverse the lockdown from there," I deigned to answer her.

"Yes. Ambassador Udina was the one to issue the lockdown order. If I can hack into the computer in his office, maybe we can override it. But that's not for sure."

"Even if it was, he's not gonna let you just walk in to his office and use his stuff," Wrex muttered from his lonely seat in the corner.

"Then hopefully he won't be there. If he is, I'll just have to think of something."

"I can't say that I'm too big a fan of that plan Captain. It's too risky," Adams replied.

"Stealing an Alliance ship is risky," Wrex retorted.

"There is a lot of things that could go wrong however," Tali added, receiving a thankful glance from Adams in the process. "If Udina's computer can't override the lockdown-"

But I knew better than either of them. Any of them.

"It will work. I guarantee you can override it from his office," I immediately refuted.

While I don't know if it really mattered...I still couldn't-

"But Udina would never let that slide Captain. If you do that, you'll be charged with treason," Joker pointed out with a fair amount of concern. "And I don't think I'll be able to cover for you this time."

The Captain smiled for all of a blink before returning to look at Shepard sternly.

"We don't have a lot of options. I either break into the ambassador's computer, or I take my chances with the patrols in Citadel control-"

"If it helps you reach a decision, know that you'll have my support too Captain."

"What?"

Because yeah...I couldn't leave up to chance. I would make sure the Normandy got out regardless of what happens. Because it's something that had to happen. Not matter what. So it was my duty to make sure it happened.

"I've made up my mind that I'm not going to Ilos Shepard. There's a lot more I can do to help with my...contacts here in case Saren or his Geth attack. So I might as well help the good Captain while I'm at it."

And it's not like I could convince them a trip to Ilos would just bring them back here in the first place. That'd be stupid. And even if they did believe me, that'd be even stupider, because they would never learn about the previous invasion or meet Vigil who gives them a macguffin to overcoming Sovereign's control over the Citadel. No...they had to go to Ilos. Just like I had to stay here.

"You really think that Saren and his Geth will attack the Citadel directly?" Garrus asked me, incredibly skeptic.

"Well you really can never be too sure Garrus. Better safe than sorry is my new motto."

"...fine," Shepard curtly answered before refocusing her efforts on the Captain.

Was she sad my company wouldn't be present on the ship? Probably not. Was she disappointed that I wouldn't join them for their final mission? Laughable prospect. Was she perhaps a little less concerned however, thankful even, knowing that Anderson would now have help in doing this incredibly risky stint?

Who could say.

"It's your choice Captain."

And after a quick moment of introspection, he-

"I'll break into the Ambassadors' office," Anderson replied to Shepard. Then the man uncharacteristically chuckled. "He made this personal. I'm actually looking forward to it...You ready to get the hell of this station Commander?"

And it took her no time to respond at all, as said Commander had already made her mind up from the very beginning.

"Let's do it."

A couple members of our entourage got rowdy once she gave her answer, matching the atmosphere of the club around them.

"Then Shield and I will take care of the lockdown. You just get everyone else down to the Normandy Shepard! Joker, prepare to stand by for my signal."

"Aye, aye Captain!"

"Stealing the Normandy...crazy," Adams muttered in his seat as everyone began to rise.

"Sometimes crazy is the best way to go," Wrex grunted back. "I just hope they don't catch us before we get our hands on Saren."

"They won't," Shepard immediately shot back.

"I hope you're right. Hate for things to end so soon," the Krogan grinned.

"This will all be over soon. One way or another," Liara whispered lightly beside me.

And she was right. One way or another.

Things would end.

Though not right now of course, as I still had things to do.

Shepard had already seen half the team out the club before beginning to follow them, nodding to the Captain as she did. But-

"Hey Shepard."

She stopped to turn.

"What?"

And I realized I couldn't. I had to laugh as I decided to back out at the last second.

"Nevermind. I'll tell you when you get back."

Her look of curiosity was immediately replaced by one of annoyance. But in spite of it however...

"...good luck."

And then that annoyance turned into something else...though I couldn't place what.

"...you too."

And the Commander then followed the rest of the Normandy's officers out after that. And as I had hoped, Anderson simply remained seated, taking another sip from his glass before turning to where I stood.

"Thanks again for messaging me. I wasn't sure if we could pull this off, so seeing someone else with the same idea was just what I needed to push me to it."

"Hey, no problem Cap. Like I said, I'm here to help."

"Glad to hear," Anderson replied, finally finishing off the drink he had been entertaining. "We'll give them an hour. That should be enough time for them to get the crew back onboard before we get to Udina's office."

"Sounds good to me."

"Now, I believe you also mentioned in your message that you wanted to talk about something else?"

"Oh yeah. I did, didn't I? Yes." I decided to take a now open seat across from him. "Alright. So. I already mentioned I was going to prepare, in case Saren and his Geth attacked right?"

"I believe you did."

"Okay. Good...good. Sooooo...yeah. Alright. Basically, I was just wondering if I could also ask a favor of you. To help us prepare for them."

"It depends on the favor. Though I agree with Vakarian that a frontal assault is highly unlikely, I did recommend nearby outposts to already be on alert. For you're right, being generally over-prepared is better than being caught with your pants down."

"Right! Which is why I was wondering if you might be willing to give me access to an Alliance depot or something that might have military grade gear I could...borrow?"

Anderson's semi-stern face immediately became grave.

"So you really were discharged from the Alliance then."

Which then had me at a total loss.

"...what?"

"I haven't had the chance to ask until now but...how long were you planning on hiding your identity Leonov? Were you ever going to tell us at all?"

"What the fuck." I then had to refrain from face-palming once realized I had just said that out loud. "...h-how long have you have known about that Anderson?"

"A while now," Anderson responded plainly. "I thought you had looked familiar when we first picked you up on Eden Prime. I knew that you were definitely Alliance. But it was only after a report from the SSV Somme came across my desk, mentioning the circumstances of a Corporal Toombs that I finally realized who."

Oh heck. I didn't ask for this. I didn't want this. Leonov was dead and gone. I didn't want to know anything about his past. It'd just make me guilty about stealing his body and like I owed him something. Gosh darnnit-

"And after some digging, I finally found your file. Lieutenant Commander Alexei Leonov. Born on Earth. An N7 marine-"

Oh shit, N7?!

"-honorable discharge in 2177-"

No, FOCUS-

"Captain, did you mention any of this to Shepard? Or anyone else for that matter?"

Like Petrovsky-

"I thought about it after Shepard told me she removed you from the Normandy. When you had tried to interfere with her mission. But I believed that you still hadn't given us your real identity for good reason. That your discharge and death-"

Death?! Oh dammit!

"-might have just been a cover for being recruited by the AIS. Deep cover. And I didn't want to blow it in case we had to be left in the dark for it to be maintained."

"...thank you for that Captain, I appreciate-"

"But after asking around in Intelligence, they couldn't give me anything. Weren't able to give me anything. You no longer existed. And now you just said that you didn't have clearance to the Alliance's Embassy depots, which any commissioned officer should have. So I want you to be honest with me Alexei. Who, or what, are you exactly involved with?"

...welp. Guess this would be as good a time as any.

"...have you ever heard of Project Trapdoor Captain? ...Wait. Actually, I think it was named Project Sidedoor...no...Backdoor? Project Doorway? Door- ah, it doesn't matter. Anyway, long story short-"

And I then preceded to give the quick version of events to Captain Anderson. Which was more or less exactly just what Petrovsky had told me several days ago. I mean, it was pretty much just the same story, word for word. So, it's not like anyone really needs the transcript for it or anything. I mean, it would just be an unnecessary paragraph of exposition containing information already known. The dialogue would probably just be copy and paste of the one I had with the General at Flux exactly. So I'll just fast forward to the end. Because who needs all those ancillary lines to read anyway? It would just be taxing on your eyes. It's taxing just to think about it. Real taxing. Hell, I'm already tired just writing about it. So I'll spare you all the extra reading and just skip straight to the end of it already. About-

Right now.

Yup. Right after this line.

Oh wait, sorry, almost forgot to mention one other thing to Anderson.

Wait-

No, yes.

This is the last one for sure.

After this one.

"-and that's the skinny."

You're welcome for skipping all the boring parts. Probably would have just been mind-numbingly dull to read-

"...that's quite the story Alexei."

Oh right, sorry. Back to the present.

"Shield, Captain. It's Shield now. That other guy is good and gone. And I know it's a lot to take in, a little strange and-"

"I've heard and seen some strange things in my day Shield believe me, Reapers currently at the top of my list. But your tale still comes pretty close. And if it's true, that still doesn't explain where you've been getting your intel from, nor how you ended up on Eden Prime since you lost your memories."

And that was the million-credit question Anderson. Where ARE they from? And...hm.

"Well if you really want to know why Anderson...you really want the truth...haha...it's because I know the future. I already know every single thing that will happen from now up until 2186. Because this world around us is literally a work of fiction."

"..."

"Yup. It's true. Dead serious. Saren attacking Eden Prime, Shepard becoming a Spectre, Conduit on Ilos, already knew it was all coming. I can even tell you that Sovereign's going to attack the Citadel in a couple hours, Cerberus brings Shepard back to life after she's killed by the Collectors a month from after we beat Saren, and then the Reapers attack Earth itself in-"

"Uh huh, and who wins SuperBowl CCXIX again? I haven't placed my bets yet so if you could tell me the final score, it'd be greatly appreciated." Anderson leaned across the table. "I'm serious Shield. This isn't a game. Who are you-"

I decided to sigh, throwing my hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright, the reason I made up the cover about the Shadow Broker is because I think my memory box somehow has access to files from his servers. Couldn't tell you how or why but it's the best explanation I got for why things just randomly pop into my head when they're mentioned. And why his goons tried to grab me in Flux a couple days ago-"

"That incident was because of you!?"

"Hah, probably."

Anderson pinched his nose. "...I really liked that place."

"Sorry."

Dude did love his bars and drinks apparently.

"...Alright." Anderson suddenly put his hands down on the table and shot up out of his seat. "I believe you Shield. Or...I believe that we're at least both intent on stopping Saren. If you need Alliance munitions for whatever you need to do, I can get you some before we head to Udina's-"

"Thank you, Anderson! Thank you! You don't how many lives you just saved."

"You're welcome, but there's no need for the exaggeration."

Hoho, you don't even know bud.

"What do you need?" he continued.

And I immediately pulled up the list on my omni-tool, deciding he would find out himself how wrong he was later.

"Alright, if you're serious...I'll need a sniper rifle, tungsten mods, kinetic buffer, some grenades, Ashley used to say Mark 14's were the best so grab those if possible, shield battery, proton rounds, oh, and the proton rounds are for the sniper rifle by the way, so they should probably go into it before- so a sniper rifle with proton rounds, scratch the other two- security cordon, missile launcher, remote detonator, finger, shield generator, and a HELLA amount of proximity mines. Though I think the Mark 14's can double as those too, and the detonator is for the mines, so I guess you can also lump them all together-"

"..."

"Oh, and I almost forgot. Think you could call up a Human in C-Sec to Udina's office by the time we visit? I'm gonna need one of their uniforms."

"..."

"..."

*chirp*

"..."

"..."

Ehhhh, maybe I did go a little overboard. I didn't even know how I'd carry half that crap around-

"I can get you the Mark-14's and armor upgrades."

"Awesome."

I can get the rest thru the second phase of the plan-

"And what size are you?"

A smile slowly crept across my face as he raised his brow.

Nothing would stop me now.

"My size? Big, Anderson. As in, too big to fail."

YEEEEAAAAAAAA-

"-aaah, I don't think pacing back and forth will make them work any faster Commander. They'll come through."

"But they should have gotten there by now. What's taking them so long?"

Joker turned back to the Normandy's controls once Shepard begun to walk back over. But just like the check he had done two seconds ago, the giant, honkin', red circle on it was still there, being their main clue that the ship was still being kept offline. And though he had said otherwise...he was beginning to fear that something happened to them too.

He glanced up at the woman hovering over his shoulder, whose eyes were currently affixed to the ship's controls. Because maybe she was right. They had been just one short skycar ride away, what could-

A chirp suddenly filled the air, and Joker immediately snapped his neck back down to see the console now green lit. Which indicated they were good to go. He could already hear the magnetic anchors outside hissing as they released the Normandy from the dock.

"Let's go!" Shepard took no time in advising. "Get us out of here Joker. Now!"

But he didn't need her to tell him that. With a grin, the Normandy's ace pilot was already spurring the ship to action. Adam reported engines were firing up, thrusters were engaged, Rosie already running a diagnostic on all nominal-

He flicked on the rest of the Normandy's primary systems with her report that everything was clear.

They were all set to launch.

The Normandy pulled out from the dock before its techs even knew what was happening, and Joker whipped the ship around so that the bridge now stared straight ahead, into the dark violet skies of the Serpent Nebula before them. He then realized the Normandy still needed a little tuning with the oomph he just felt from the start of the engines. But with him at its helm, it didn't really matter. The Geth wouldn't know what hit them.

The Normandy's thrusters ignited, shooting them away from the space station at light speed, spurring them onward. Onward toward the Widow Relay.

The Hunt for Saren was back on.

As we strut into the office, it was definitely on.

"Anderson? What are you doing here? Did you send for this-"

WHAM.

"Holy shit-" Harkin let out with a laugh as Udina was immediately knocked the fuck out. Of course, probably wasn't the best time for him to be distracted. "Why the hell did you just-"

"Shoryuken!"

The crooked cop immediately found himself flying backwards as my leaping uppercut connected with his jaw. A sickening crack accompanied the blow, and I had to wince at how bad I had just gotten him. The white casing on his jaw led me to believe that would be a super effective place to hit. But it probably also meant that I had just undone a several thousand-credit surgery. But you know...it was just Harkin. So...whatever.

"It's done!" Anderson shouted as he finished the last keystroke.

"Hopefully they're already taking off," I immediately replied, already taking off my shirt.

"...you aren't changing here are you?" Anderson commented as I took off my pants next.

"Well I can't really drag him into a changing room now, can I," I replied, already moving on to undress the unconscious cop.

"Are you sure you don't want my help with whatever you're planning to do Shield?"

"For the umpteenth time Captain, my plan is foolproof. Nothing's getting in my way. You should focus instead on organizing the Alliance garrison stationed here. Make sure they can mobilize at the drop of a hat. We have to be ready. Just in case."

I hastily shoved the man now in tidy widy's into the locker adjacent to the one holding Udina, pausing to grab his transparent omni-tool from his hand and toss it to the floor. Didn't want him waking up and escaping too soon. Needed time to make my move-

"Shield, while I like the idea, I don't exactly have the clearance to send those kinds of commands."

"What?" I had to ask, spinning back around. "But I thought you were a Captain-"

"They're higher ranked officers stationed here than just me. It'd take a long time to go through the proper channels required-"

"What about that one," I said, motioning to the channel still open on Udina's still available computer.

He glanced at it for a moment, then back to me.

"Good catch."

"You already said you recommended the Alliance to be on high alert right?"

"I'm not sure if they took it seriously-"

"Well I'm pretty sure C-Sec is at least on high alert, what with that fleet blockade of theirs going on and all. But it can't hurt knocking things up a notch. Take their readiness levels just a tad further-"

"I'm already working on it Shield, don't worry. But what are you going to do?"

I finished pulling up Harkin's pants, and though the uniform was still a little loose, I found it was just what I needed. A disguise that would put even Izzy Einstein to shame.

"Me?" I let out a victorious laugh, planning to instill confidence in him as well as myself. "I'm going to show C-Sec how you really protect the Citadel." And after uttering that totally awesome line, I then proceeded to steer the levitating dolly out of the embassy office and on towards its destiny. A dolly that was currently stacked sky high with crates chock full of dangerous, temperamental, volatile, explosives. "Everything's going according to plan this time Anderson. This is our last mission. Nothing's screwing this up for us-"

"-now. We might be headed for the Terminus Systems but don't worry ma'am. The Normandy's a hell of a ship. She'll get us through this Commander."

"Thank you for the report Adams. Carry on."

And as the call from engineering ended, Pressly was at her side, handing her a copy of the navigation route he had already sent Joker.

"I still can't believe we stole the Normandy Commander! I know we'll all be court-martialed if this doesn't work out. But part of me loves this!"

"Just be sure you don't go making a habit of it after we stop Saren, Pressly."

"Hah, I wouldn't dare. Not with you onboard Commander."

And her XO peeled off as she continued through the CIC and approached the Normandy's bow. With the ship currently in FTL, Joker apparently had little to keep him occupied. The pilot noticed her approach as soon as she had set foot upon the bridge.

"Lucky us Commander. No sign of pursuit. I was kind of hoping though that the Council would send some ships after us. I was looking forward to putting the Normandy through her paces. The Geth patrols we've run into so far have all maneuvered about as well as the Mako does. I figured I'd finally get to see what this ship can really do."

"We're not playing tag Joker. If they catch us, Saren wins. And we're all dead."

"I bet you're just the life of the party Commander."

Shepard scowled at him in response and began him to tell him to open the comms before she was interrupted.

"Oh, that just reminded me of your joke! Why don't you tell the Commander it!" Ensign Draven suddenly spoke up from behind them.

"What joke."

"That one about the Mako!"

The pilot immediately swiveled his chair back around to face the console.

"I'm sure the Commander has better things to do. She didn't come up here to humor herself. Hell, she doesn't even have time to. We'll be at Ilos in half an hour-"

"No please, do tell Joker. A joke just might improve my mood. And mission morale."

She was too curious at this point to let it go, especially if it was about her. The man was already on thin ice.

"Sorry, don't remember. When everything that leaves your mouth is comedy gold you-"

"I think it went something like 'what do you call someone who can't drive a Mako'?"

"..."

"...what?"

"Commander!"

"...hilarious."

Joker looked down at the Normandy's controls and began clicking buttons as Shepard turned to glare at him. His words were nothing but treason. She'd have to punish him accordingly. A small square turned green in the left uppermost corner shortly after he finished.

"Uh, intercom's open Commander, just like you were asking. If you've got anything you want to say to the crew, now's the time."

But it'd have to be later. Because the man had been right. She needed to focus on the mission. The crew had risked their careers for her, would soon risk their lives for her...so she owed them one last overture. To help them remember why she would ask this of them at all.

She took a deep breath, and then leaned over Joker's shoulder, speaking calmly into the console.

"Normandy, this is your Commander speaking. Now, the Council wants to ignore this. They never helped us in the past; no reason they'd start now. But we as we've already seen, we don't need their help. We can do this on our own! We'll save their asses whether they want us to or not. Saren must be stopped. It's time for us to step up and do our part for the rest of the Galaxy. It's time to show them, and everyone else, what exactly Humans are made of!"

And the whoops and cheers of the Normandy reassured her that everything would be alright. This really was her crew. They'd follow her to the ends of the Galaxy and back. And they'd be the ones to stop Saren this day.

Everything would end on Ilos.

The Hunt for Saren would end here.

It would definitely all end here.

For Saren anyway. You could bet on it.

I tossed the next one rather harshly, banking it off the corner of the glass walkway before it stuck where it landed.

"This is the stopping Saren song ~

You there, stop and sing along ~

Is he gonna win, I say no ~

Gonna tell Saren he's a hoe ~ "

I chucked another Frisbee across the walkway as I sang. Baller tunes really do take the edge off while you're hard at work, let me tell you. I bent over and dug around in the crate for a couple more. Drop one here, drop one there, make sure they're on before you drop another mine with care-

"Cuz his Geth don't scare me, they just make me hor-ny ~

Aliens come for dat control key, I'll shoot em like Sigour-ney ~

Brrap brrap, pew pew-"

"What are you doing?"

"-Ahem. Uh, sorry ma'am, but this is a dangerous area. I'm gonna need you need to clear out-"

I stopped where I was upon looking over my shoulder, as I found a C-Sec officer currently ducking under the security cordon, obviously the one who had spoken just now.

Balls. I immediately let the Mark-14's in my hand clatter to the floor.

"We've had reports of the Monument Promenade being cleared and roped off without authorization. What are you doing officer-"

And I believe the Turian's eyes went wide around the same time she realized that a majority of the discs laying about the walkway were actually military-grade explosives.

"Oh. Hey...HEY! Do you see this shit?! I think-"

"Freeze where you are!" she immediately shouted, pulling her gun. Then with the omni-tool on her free hand, she yelled for back up, giving her coordinates in the process. Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.

"Look fellow officer of the law, everything's fine, everything's under control here, we just need to stay calm. Now, good job calling HQ but-"

"No patrols are listed in the area jackass. I know you're not with C-Sec! Put your hands in the air and don't move a muscle!"

"Uh, you didn't let me finish. I was saying good job calling HQ, but they already got reports of a terrorist threat and I, who am a freelance investigator, obviously, was deployed to scan the area with these-"

"I said DON'T MOVE!"

I backed off from the opened crate on the dolly beside me. But it was so tempting. I wasn't even halfway thru it yet-

"Okay, I know things might look bad, but they're definitely not what you think they are-"

Then shouts distracted us.

And several civilians on a walkway in the distance began flashing photos, realizing an armed officer was actually on the scene apprehending a criminal. And that distraction was exactly the thing I needed. As she glanced at the tourists out of the corner of her eye, I snatched the fail-safe detonator lying on the crate's lid before she could blink.

"YOU-"

"Okay, so you're right, you got me, they are explosives. But if you shoot now, uh...this whole place is kind of going to become a crater soooo...let's not do that shall we. Let's all just calm down-"

"I need special response now," she yelled into her 'tool. "We have a Code 4-5-8!"

No Bueno. This was no bueno at all.

"Look, there's about to be an attack on the Citadel and-"

"What? You already are?!"

"Are...are you talking to me?"

"Don't worry about me! Just do it!"

"...wha-"

"I said do it!"

I then realized I had definitely screwed the pooch as I felt something suddenly penetrate my arm, and doubly so as an electrical current ran through my body from the entry point, paralyzing me, locking every muscle of mine in place.

"Bring in the bomb unit! And get me a squad car!"

And a second later, as it had me dropping unconscious to the floor, face definitely smacking against a primed mine once gravity took effect, in the last vestiges of consciousness I had left, I could only think one thing.

I should have asked Garrus for C-Sec procedure. DOH.

Codex Entry:

The Toombs Debriefing

/16:54/ Secure Comm Buoy #8475-24 / Encrypted / #2654 - BM - 880

Forward From: Networker Nesk

Original Sender: Agent Cross

Third report on my monitoring of the situation Operative Caracosa has taken to calling the 'Toombs Vendetta'.

Upon the SSV Somme's arrival at Arcturus Station, Corporal Colin Toombs was immediately transferred to the Alliance Intelligence Service for debrief. Supervisor on scene Farrah Gapoli was in charge of the investigation. Upon interrogation, Toombs attributed the last six years of his absence to [Cerberus], and being held captive in a station named [The Depot] located in the Gorgon System. He details his escape, citing it started when every containment cell of the structure was suddenly opened, and how he escaped on an unattended supply ship left in the hangar. Captain Gapoli was incredulous, expressing jealously of how Toombs' luck was so good. Toombs took resentment, citing Akuze and torture as evidence contrary.

Cross referencing with an [Agent Revenant]'s report and entry 89-DBZ545428-89, the Rachni reportedly found on Nepheron and Altahe were not remnants of the Rachni War as speculated, but rather escaped specimens from [The Depot] recently scuttled by the [SSV Normandy]. The Rachni themselves were what caused Toombs cell malfunction during their own escape from the vessel. And with information scoured from entry 34-2d23f248-52, I've determined [Cerberus] received these specimens from their [Project Orthus] Outpost on Binthu, which in turn were imported from [Peak 15], a facility administered by Binary Helix on Noveria. This should settle that the origin of the Rachni encountered there were indeed from Noveria, and not an unknown brood as feared.

Continuing the interrogation, upon asking why the corporal murdered several Alliance scientists, Toombs denied doing so. Doctor Wayne was the first he planned to assassinate, and the only one he currently remembered. After the shuttle was hijacked, Toombs searched for where Doctor Wayne was currently stationed and then headed straight there. Then Toombs implied that if the dead doctors were [Cerberus] like Doctor Wayne, they deserved death regardless. Toombs was then asked if there were any other survivors from Akuze he thought were perhaps being held captive by [Cerberus]. Toombs then became adamant that at least former Commander Alexei Leonov was alive and well. After running a check on the name, the handlers present confirmed Alexei Leonov was Toomb's unit Commander on Akuze, and honorably discharged in 2177 after psychological evaluation found him unfit for duty. He was then found dead in 2178, cause of death: suicide. After hearing this, Corporal Toombs remained adamant he was alive and stationed on the [SSV Normandy]. Handlers present confirmed no such man was listed on the ship's registrar. Toombs was escorted away once he refused to drop the subject or address anything else.

This report had enough key terms you were on the look out for Gellix that I decided to forward it to you. Hope it helps in your investigation.

Author's Notes:

"Shield's the worst OC I've ever seen. He's soooo stupid!" "How stupid is he Dan?" "Shield's so stupid, when someone asked him to get a vehicle, he brought them a Justicar-"

Shut up Dan! You don't even know what you're talking about. You don't know the trials and tribulations he's gone through. How much pain he's endured. How many things have been thrown his way that you'd have to be omniscient to see coming. You wouldn't last five minutes in his shoes! So who cares if he has the brain the size of a Vorcha?! Just don't listen to them my poor OC, who is an innocent soul that will inevitably save the Galaxy. I know being caught was all part of your plan. Forget the haters. They're all Hanar. They're all just jelly.

And how is being caught part of the plan you may ask? Probably by allowing him to finally do something super DRAMATIC. Or not. Guess we'll find out in the coming chapter~

Also, this story has 300 followers?

:]

Act 4: The Finale, begins now folks. Hold on to your butts.

But before it begins-

Review Time!

0 ad infinitude - You got good art skills man. That's a real dope stache you drew there. And making my likeness eerily beautiful was an apt move. It's almost like looking in a mirror every time I see it. And as for ME2, I'll try to avert that by telling all you redshirts that I'll subvert Shepard's just dessert with an invert schemed up by an extrovert that may or may not hurt but reassert the notion that I like to divert from any spoiler alert. And as the explanation for Shield's meta-knowledge? Uh, I think you'll learn that NEVER!

Dekugram - Implying Shield learned anything on his journey at all. Laughable. Also, *jerk. Lern 2 sp3ll n0ob.

Birthplace of Branan - It was such an obscure reference that I thought there was no way that's what you were going for. But as a Dragon Age aficionado, alas, I could not ignore it. Color me impressed that's what it actual referred to haha! Don't have much else to comment on since you're analysis on Shield always speaks for itself, and that I am largely of the same opinion. And as much as people may disagree, I really do find Ashley and Kaidan fascinating characters. It's criminal to have one die just because arbitrary plot points demand it. Shield is a spanner in the works, a fighter of fate, his every decision saving characters from their horrible scripted demises. Ashley won't be different! Probably. Eh. 50/50.

It's Always Sunny on the Citadel - I did good?! Kewl beans. Always wary of Joker and Shepard POVs because I'm afraid they'll just read like 'this happened. and then this happened. oh, and that happened too. the end.' Nice to know that it at least kinda eschewed his character. And yeah, I always thought it kind of obvious. I mean think about it. Those love interests are all in the middle of nowhere with a Commander they barely even know, they look around from the Normandy window and what do they see? Nothing but open space. 'Ahhh, there's nowhere for me to take the Mako. What am I going to do, say no?' I mean, obviously, if they say no, then the answer is obviously no haha. But the thing is they aren't gonna say no. They would never say no. Because of the implication.

Toothless is Best - Uh, Shepard is a Professional Alliance Officer and gonna act like it, unlike all those other posers out there. I mean, what kind of boat captain just bangs random officers and aliens under their command before a galaxy-altering mission? That's just plain irresponsible. The only thing you can be sure she's gonna bang is Geth against the walls of Ilos with her telekinetic powers. Hm. Damn you poorly phrased sentencesssss-

King of Rock and Jukeboxs 23 - And thanks again for the feedback :). Like I already said, I'm a big fan of Ashley too despite those other people who make her out to be a judgmental racist. Girl disagrees with the Terra Firma party, gets mad when Shepard is with Cerberus, and everything she ever said about aliens became true when the Reapers arrived. So she was pragmatic, not speciest. Get it straight. Of course, is she still alive? ...not even Schrodinger knows.

That's so Ravenous - Uh, I think it can. AND WILL. WATCH ME ABANDON THIS STORY FASTER THAN AETHYTA ABANDONED HER INFANT DAUGHTER WITH ONLY THREE CHAPTERS TO SPARE! WATCH ME-

In the next chapter: Google [Mass Effect 1 - Transcend] for Next Chapter Hype. The Conclusion Comes.

Tune in next time on Mass Effective: A Hero Made!