Chapter 17 – An Ocean Between Us
In the month following the Second Task, things between Harry and Hermione was considerably tense. At a casual glance, it seemed like nothing was wrong, but upon diligent inspection it was plain to see that something had come between the two. The argument had left a band taste in both of their mouths and even though they were still friendly, neither wanted approach the topic of Harry's affliction again.
Ron was now in a similar position as Hermione was earlier in the year, trying to maintain two friendships. His situation wasn't nearly as hers had been, seeing as how they were still friends but the air between them was tense.
Hermione wasn't sure when her and Ron had begun being cordial with each other again but it was a nice change of pace. They still argued a lot but with her relationship with the other member of their trio strained, she needed someone desperately to talk to.
After two weeks of this going on, Ron had confronted her in the library about what was going on between her and Harry.
"Well if you must know, I'm just upset about the Second Task." The confused look on Ron's face was still plastered on his face.
"I know that but what exactly made you upset?"
Sighing as she could see no way around it, she closed the book she was currently pouring through to address him. "It's the fact that Harry lost control during the task and it's because of his recent lessons."
"I thought he was trying to learn control during those lessons?"
"That's what I thought, but I guess he's learning how to let go of his control enough to utilize his abilities." Ron raised his eyebrows, the question evident by the expression on his face.
"Honestly Ron, it's like he's given up trying to be free of his curse. I feel like he doesn't believe that we can find a way to cure him."
Ron began laughing in earnest after her last comment, causing her temper to begin to boil up again. She was about to lash out at him when he raised his hand and managed to compose himself enough to speak.
"Do you hear how barking mad that sounds. Harry hasn't given up on you. I don't blame him for wanting to make his life more comfortable by learning how make the best of his situation."
"He can't lose control Ronald. If people were to find out that Harry is a werewolf, then he'll be treated like an outcast of society. All it would take is for him to lose it once."
"But that's just it Hermione, he hasn't been losing control. Remember when he came out of the lake. Even though he was partially transformed, he was still mentally in control. He hasn't lost it since he almost tore Malfoy apart earlier in the year, unless you count the First Task but that was just after he started adjusting. If anything, he's a lot better now than he was then."
Hermione was completely lost for words about Ron's argument. Even though she tried to deny it, everything he said was 100 percent true. When he had put it all like that, she felt incredibly guilty for snapping at Harry and especially for avoiding him for as long as she had.
"I never thought of it that way. I guess you're right Ron." Looking up, she saw that Ron still had a disbelieving look on his face. Just by judging the look in his eyes, she knew that he had figured out that there was more to this than she had let on.
"Alright spill it. What's really wrong Hermione?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"You admitted defeat far too quickly, which means you knew deep down that you were wrong. That could only mean that something else is bothering you."
Ron certainly had his moments. Even though he wasn't the brightest person around, he was still very insightful and his deduction only proved that. Seeing no way out of this, she decided that she had to tell him the truth. She hoped that he wouldn't be angry by what she said.
"Fine there is something else okay?" She rolled her eyes when a smug smile crossed Ron's face. "I'm upset that I wasn't Harry's hostage." Waiting for the anger to pour out of her friend, she closed her eyes and recoiled slightly. What she got instead was something completely unexpected.
"Well, maybe you were Krum's hostage because there wasn't anyone else. Think about it, he really doesn't talk to anyone. The only person he is ever seen interacting with is either the other champions or you." She blushed at the praise and tried to find some fault in his logic but couldn't. "It could also have been based of off who their dates to the Yule Ball was. You went with Krum and Cedric went with Cho. Harry and Fleur couldn't be each other's hostage's seeing as they went together could they?"
The more Ron talked, the more Hermione felt ashamed by her behavior. She had pushed her best friend away due to some petty jealousy and could only hope that she hadn't damaged their relationship beyond repair.
She stood up to head towards the Great Hall for lunch, and was immediately grateful that Ron decided to follow her. It made her feel immeasurably better that he wouldn't shun her for her behavior. Now all she could do was hope that Harry would be equally as understanding.
When they arrived at the Great Hall, Hermione immediately began to search around for any sign of Harry. After several minutes, it appeared that he hadn't made it down to lunch quite yet. She happened to glance towards the Slytherin table to see Viktor staring at her. Before she found his attention flattering, but now it was getting to the point where it seemed that he looked at her obsessively.
The sound of footsteps entering the hall turned her attention towards the door. The sight she saw nearly made Hermione's heart stop.
Harry was making his way towards into the hall, but what got to her was the fact that Fleur was accompanying him. Though Hermione had initially encouraged Harry to befriend the French witch she was starting to regret that decision. The two seemed fairly comfortable in each other's presence. Hermione's eyes widened as a horrible thought crossed her mind.
'Am I Being replaced?'
Try as she could to dispel the thought, several details kept running through her mind which only seemed to reinforce the idea.
Firstly was the fact that she hadn't truly had a good conversation with Harry ever since their fight. Sure they did converse when necessary, but it wasn't as close as it was before. Harry seemed to eventually get used to the strain on their friendship, but Hermione knew that she was the one that started the whole thing. It was only natural that Harry would try to associate with another person.
Second was Fleur's status as a champion. It was plainly obvious to everyone that Fleur wasn't just an exotic beauty. To have been named the Triwizard champion of her school she'd of had to have been both smart and skillful.
The two parted as they headed for their regular seats, but Hermione barely noticed as thoughts of Harry turning to Fleur for help instead of her ate away at her conscious. When Harry finally sat down next to Ron, Hermione finally chanced a glance at her former best friend. He didn't seem to be as beat up as she herself felt. In fact, he seemed to look great. It was then that Hermione finally noticed that he wasn't wearing his black Hogwarts robes. Her mind was so jumbled up that she couldn't quite place what they were.
Ron was the first person to break the awkward silence at the table. "So Harry, you ready for the match against Durmstrang today?"
"About as ready as I'll ever be going up against the greatest seeker in the world."
Hermione's eyes widened as realization hit her. How could she forget that today was the last Quidditch match in the inter-school tournament? This only made her crumble even more as she realized the depth that she had truly abandoned Harry. This was the most important thing to him, even more so than the tournament.
Harry and Ron didn't seem to notice her inner turmoil as the continued to converse about the upcoming match.
"Come one Harry, don't think like that. You've already shown that you can go toe to toe with Krum in the bloody tournament. A little Quidditch should be a piece of cake."
The fire that seemed to light in Harry's eyes after that was enough for Hermione to decide that she was going to apologize to Harry and get her best friend back.
-HP-
As Harry got up from his seat in the Great Hall, he couldn't help but lament the distance that had come between himself and Hermione. The look in her eyes when he mentioned the Quidditch match today was all he needed to figure out that she had forgotten about it and it hurt him immensely.
He knew from being close with Hermione during the time since he was turned that she valued friendship just as much as he did, so he knew that their conflict was having an impact on her as well. She had confided in him that she used her intelligence to try and help others because for a long time it was how she felt like she was needed. He knew that they're friendship and helped lessen that feeling within her but at the same time still lurked in the back of her mind.
It was because of this that Harry thought was why she was suddenly upset with him. He had given her the impression that he didn't want her help, which only served to allow her old insecurities to rise back up to the surface.
Even though he didn't feel that he was wrong, he still felt bad for hurting her because he was aware of her insecurities. Ultimately this lead to his decision to try and keep a tight grip on his control, not for his own benefit, but because he was willing to try and tough it out in order to save their friendship. He would only have to wait until after the match to tell her.
As he stepped further from his seat and towards the doors so he could get ready for the match he saw that another person had gotten up as well. Glancing over, he saw Krum rise for his seat and make his way out as well.
Turning to head out towards the Quidditch pitch, Harry's progress was stopped by a hand grabbing a hold of his arm. Whirling around, the older champion was standing there with a smug smile on his face. Even though he respected rum's abilities, he couldn't but be annoyed at his superior attitude and arrogant disposition.
"I vanted to approach you Mister Potter and vish for a good match later." Krum stuck his hand out for a handshake which Harry begrudgingly accepted after a few moments.
"Likewise Krum." He was doubtful that the star seeker's words were sincere, and couldn't shake the feeling that this conversation was about more than just the game.
"May ze prize go to ze better man."
Returning his gaze to Krum's face, looking in the direction of his gaze, he saw that Krum was staring very intently at Hermione.
"What are you on about?"
His words caused Harry's blood to boil. It was evident that Hermione liked Krum and Harry thought that the feeling was mutual between the two, but is Krum claiming that Hermione was nothing more than a prize to him.
"It is a shame zat ze Boy Who Lived is going to lose someone such as Herm-own-ninny."
His anger began to rise increasingly. The meaning behind Krum's words were very clear to him. All Hermione was to Krum was some prize that he could take away from a potential threat. Harry felt even more determined than before to but Krum in his place.
"We'll have to see about that," and without any other word, Harry turned and stalked off towards the Locker room, with a deep determination in his eyes.
-HP-
25 minutes into the Quidditch match, the score was tied for the umpteenth time that day. Both the Durmstrang and Hogwarts teams seemed to be evenly matched. While the Hogwarts team were dominant in the Beater category and their Chasers had superior teamwork, the Durmstrang team's Chaser's were better individual flyers and they had a better Keeper. Neither team seemed to be able to pull away and gain any kind of significant lead. The largest led up until that point was a 30 point lead for Durmstrang but they weren't able to keep it up before the game becoming tied once again.
Circling high above the pitch was Harry and Krum. The two were immensely talented but they had opted for different approaches. Harry would be constantly darting across the field, simultaneously causing distractions for the other team as well as searching for the tiny winged ball. Krum however chose to hover in the middle of the pitch and scan for the Snitch that way, though it was still not lost to Harry that his gaze more often than not fell onto a particular bushy-haired girl in the crowd.
Glancing at Hermione, Harry couldn't help but hope that Krum wasn't right about his assumption. In any normal situation, his challenge wouldn't have bothered Harry in the slightest, but with their strained relationship, he couldn't shake the fear of that potential outcome despite how unfounded it truly was.
The length of the game was beginning to take its toll on Harry. In his attempt to keep a tight leash on his powers, the disturbing nightmares had returned in addition to the ones about Voldemort that he already suffered from. All this added up to a greatly sleep-deprived Seeker, whose exhaustion was starting to hinder his Quidditch ability.
A lightning fast streak caught Harry's attention and he quickly realized that Krum had successfully spotted the snitch. Cursing himself for losing focus, he sped off after him and attempt to make up his lost ground.
The chase was much more difficult for Harry due to various reasons. First and the easiest to acknowledge was his exhaustion which slowed his reaction time slightly. Secondly was the fact that Krum was a world-class Seeker, which meant that he had a considerable amount of experience over Harry. Krum's broom was also the same as Harry's meaning the speed advantage that Harry was used to was no longer there. Lastly, and in Harry's eyes the worst, was the fact that all the adrenaline of the contest was starting to cause Harry's control to begin to crack dangerously fast.
After much time, Harry was able to catch up to Krum and began ramming into the side of him with his shoulder to try and shake him off. The older player returned fire, and the two continued to battle for dominance until the Snitch made a deep dive towards the ground.
Pushing forward, both dove after it, trying to out fly the other as they barreled towards the ground. Continuing to ram each other as they descended closer to ground, neither seeker wanted to be the first person to pull up. At the last second, the snitch leveled out above the ground as began fluttering a mere 10 meters off of the ground.
Lucky for Harry, Krum pulled up from his dive a second before Harry, leaving him about 5 meters above the snitch, while Harry pulled up at the last second and was perfectly level with the snitch. Sensing his advantage, he outstretched his arm in order to catch the snitch but had temporarily taken his attention away from Krum.
He quickly paid for his mistake, as Krum suddenly blindsided him, knocking him off his broom to the ground below. Pain swam through Harry's head, causing some of the precious control he managed to maintain to slip. Feeling the heaviness of his eyes he quickly got up to his hands and knees before attempting to remount his broom.
Cheers from the Durmstrang section of the stands caused his heart to drop and the scene up in the air only confirmed his fears. Krum floated just above the ground with a smug look on his face holding the still flapping snitch in his hands.
It was this that caused the flood gates to burst open and Harry began to feel himself lose control. The noise of the crowd began to overpower his increasingly sensitive hearing, his hands flying to his ears as he ran towards the locker room.
Bursting through the door, the beast finally took over as he relentlessly began to rain fists into one of the lockers, greatly denting it. He roared in an attempt to further alleviate his frustration but it seemed that two weeks of air tight control made it almost impossible to regain it.
Two familiar scent caught his attention, causing the human part of his brain to come out to the forefront.
"Harry?"
Turning his attention to the door, he saw both Hermione and Fleur standing their looking worried. His humanity was slowly losing the battle for control again and the sight of two witches only made the wolf inside him more blood thirsty. Hermione began to take a step forward but Harry raised a clawed hand to try and stop her.
"Don't."
This didn't stop her as now Fleur began to approach as well. "Let us 'elp you 'Arry."
"I don't want either of you to get hurt." He shut his eyes and cried out as he was close to losing the battle, but he was startled when two sets of arms quickly wrapped around him. He tried to shake them off, but instead of losing what little control remained, he found that the fog was beginning to clear as he managed to control his breathing and calm down significantly.
Once he was sure that he was no longer a danger he looked up to see that both girls had relieved smiles on their faces. It was Hermione's face that was more telling, showing many emotions including relief and… regret?
"Fleur, do you mind if I speak with Hermione privately for a minute?"
She raised an eyebrow in question, but the look on the other two's faces was enough to agree and leave the locker room. With just the two of them left, Harry and Hermione studied each other's faces, the sadness and lack of sleep evident on both of their faces.
"Haven't you been sleeping well?"
"Not really. You?"
"Ever since our argument, I've tried to keep a tighter leash on my abilities. Ever since then, the nightmares have come back."
"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. Because of me you almost revealed your condition and you lost the game."
"My losing wasn't your fault Hermione. Krum cheated."
"Yes but I know he riled you up before the match, and you said that repressing your abilities makes your emotions stronger. Your anger and exhaustion were because of me and I feel like I've failed you as a friend."
Not wanting to hear anymore, Harry quickly covered the distance between them and wrapped Hermione in a hug.
"You could never fail me Hermione. You were only looking out for me. It's mostly my fault for not trusting you with how my lessons were going."
Silence settled between them as they continued to embrace for several moments both taking solace in each other's company. Harry was greatly relieved that Hermione had forgiven and he couldn't help but forgive her after her heartfelt apology.
"I've missed you Hermione."
"I've missed you too."
They disconnected themselves before heading back towards the castle and began the long process of repairing their friendship.
Author's Note:
Hey I'm back. Took a little bit of a break to really work on this chapter. This was another chapter that I knew was going to happen when I started really coming up with ideas of where the fourth year would go.
I hope that I got across what I was trying to convey with Hermione's feelings during this chapter. It's natural for people to displace something that they're angry about onto something else when they don't want to acknowledge what's really wrong. I feel in a lot of other Fanfictions, Hermione is portrayed as perfect when she obviously is not.
I hope that helps with any confusion.
As always, thanks for reading!