Chapter 5, Part 1: Clarke
Clarke had been surprised at first, but despite the fact that it felt so natural, she started to pull away from the kiss. She looked Lexa in the eyes, contemplating the situation. "Lexa, I can't do this. I'm with Bellamy now. I used to love you, but right now I'm not sure that I can just forgive you and start over. It's not that simple." She walked a few paces away from Lexa, and to avoid eye contact, stared out the window that ran the length of the corridor.
"I'm sorry, Clarke. I was out of place." Lexa took a few steps towards her, but stopped and looked away. She wanted to give her space, to love her from afar. Lexa saw that Bellamy meant everything to Clarke, but she also noticed the weakest parts in their relationship - the battle scars, their previous lovers, and even their positions as leaders all complicated their love for one another. "I'm happy for you, Clarke. You and Bellamy seem very happy together." Another tear fell from Lexa's eye. It slowly made its way down her cheek, and fell to the floor without making a sound. She looked towards the ceiling to prevent more tears from falling. She couldn't let Clarke see how much she meant to her. Clarke looked over to where she was standing.
"Lexa, I-"
"It's fine, Clarke. Let it be. We have more important things to discuss." She strode down the rest of the corridor, Clarke at her heels. As they turned into Lexa's chambers, the few guards and advisors that were left in the room quickly fled, not wanting to disturb their Heda.
"Is this really necessary, Lexa? After the mountain, both of our peoples are safe in their own homes. Another alliance would only tip the scales and cause more chaos. Neither of us can afford that." Clarke watched as Lexa moved over to the window and looked out at the city below her. She knew that Lexa wasn't looking out admiring her city. She knew this was just an attempt at avoiding eye contact with Clarke. "What do you want from me, Lexa? I know this isn't all about forming an alliance. Just tell me what you want. How can -"
"I want you to love me, Clarke! I want things to be like they used to, okay? I screwed up, and I understand if you can't forgive me for that. But I'm missing something, Clarke. Without you, what am I living for?" Tears were streaming down her face.
"I don't know, Heda. What are we living for?" Clarke's eyes met Lexa's, and they stared at each other until Clarke finally broke the silence. "I do love you, Lexa. It's just Bellamy, and -"
"I understand, Clarke." Lexa stared at Clarke in silence. "You and Bellamy are free to leave. I'll tell my guard to prepare for your departure. You can leave at dawn." Lexa looked down, realizing that she was about to lose the one thing she was living for. The one person she loved.
"Thank you, Lexa. Thank you for trusting me. But if you don't mind, we'll stay for a while. We need time to plan our next step."
"It's up to you, Clarke. But I want you to know that I -"
"I get it, Lexa. I understand why you betrayed me and my people, and why you broke the alliance. I would have done the same thing. But Lexa, it doesn't make it right. If this alliance is ever going to succeed, we have to work together. As one leader, and as one people." Clarke walked over to Lexa. "Don't we at least deserve peace?" Lexa was silent. She looked over to Clarke, but the blonde was busy staring out the window.
"We do, Clarke. We do." Lexa's eyes met Clarke's again, and this time Clarke held her gaze. Clarke moved towards her again, creating an even smaller gap between them. She placed her hands on Lexa's cheeks, and Lexa began to cry. "I never wanted to hurt you, Clarke. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. You have to know that."
"I do know that, Lexa." Though it pained her to say it, Clarke decided it was time. "I forgive you. Blood must not have blood. Revenge isn't the answer, Lexa. Forgiveness is." She continued to stroke the other girl's cheeks, wiping away her tears. "I do love you, Lexa. I do." She leaned into Lexa, planting a small kiss on her lips. It was short, but passionate. The gears turned, and the puzzle pieces fell back into place. For one moment, things felt normal again. Clarke used her tongue to tease Lexa's bottom lip. Lexa kissed her back at first, soothingly sucking on Clarke's top lip, but quickly pulled away. They stared at each other in silence, both girls in shock. Lexa spoke first, trying to clarify the situation.
"But Clarke, you and Bellamy -"
"I'll worry about Bellamy." Clarke snapped back into reality, ignoring what she had done. "You just worry about getting your people to honor this alliance."
"Alright." Lexa nodded. Somewhat thrown off by Clarke's mixed signals, she strode toward the door, and tried to put her feelings aside. She had people to lead, and recognizing the importance of that, let her mind wander to Clarke for only a second. Lexa had obviously enjoyed the kiss, but didn't know what to make of it. What did it mean? she thought. To me? To her? She couldn't let their clouded relationship get in the way of her duty, but either way she had to protect Clarke. "For now, you can stay with me. I'm sorry Clarke, but I cannot put my trust in Bellamy yet. He must stay where he is."
"It's okay, Lexa, I understand. I'll talk to him." Clarke followed Lexa out of the room, catching up to her in the hallway.
"You can't tell him about any of what just happened." Lexa looked worried. Clarke nodded once, giving Lexa a reassuring look.
"It will all be fine, Lexa. I promise." They strode briskly down the length of the corridor, leaving all feelings behind them. Turning the corner, both girls were equally surprised at what lied - or didn't lie - in front of them. Bellamy's cell was closed, the keys safely hanging on the wall next to them, however he was nowhere to be found.
Chapter 5, Part 2: Bellamy
Sprinting down a long corridor, Bellamy didn't know what to make of his current situation. He knew where he was, who he was, and what needed to be done, yet he was still confused. He had to get out of there, and make sure he and Clarke were safe. No, he thought. Just me. If she is going to put herself first, I'll be sure to do the same. His mind jumped back to the events he had recently witnessed - the same events that led up to him navigating through the Polis tower, down fifty-three flights of stairs:
"Is this really necessary!?" he yelled, shaking the metal bars that held him hostage. "I have nothing against you or your people!" It didn't matter. Clarke and the commander had turned the corner long before he started yelling. She couldn't hear him.
"Shut up, Skaikru scum. She can't hear you anyway!" Titus spit into Bellamy's cell. "Besides, she wouldn't pardon you even if she could!" He ignored the Flamekeeper, and sat back down against the wall. He craned his neck back, looking up at the ceiling. Bel groaned and banged the back of his head against the wall out of frustration, causing dust to fall from what looked like an old air duct, directly into his mouth. He coughed and choked on dust and air, Titus laughing as he left the room. Bellamy waited until he was gone, and laughed at himself, realizing he had just found his way out. He waited a little longer just to make sure the coast was clear, and started working at the ropes around his ankles. After about thirty minutes, he managed to break free from his bonds. He stood up, his head scraping the bottom of the air duct. He inched his way up the metal shaft, trying not to attract any attention. Surprisingly, no one had heard him, and once he reached the top of the duct Bellamy followed it in the general direction that he'd thought the girls had gone. After a few turns, he paused, listening carefully for Clarke's voice. Overhearing her talking to Lexa, he pressed his ear to the side of the duct. Her voice was soothing, as always. "Is this really necessary, Lexa? After the mountain, both of our peoples are safe in their own homes. Another alliance would only tip the scales and cause more chaos. Neither of us can afford…" she said. Bellamy moved closer to where he thought the source of the voice was, and came to a vent that gave him eyes directly into Lexa's chambers, where the girls were arguing. Lexa seemed to be softly crying. "I want you to love me, Clarke! I want things to be like they used to, okay? I screwed up, and I understand if you can't forgive me for that. But I'm missing something, Clarke. Without you, what am I living for?" He knew that Clarke and Lexa used to have feelings for each other, and that they were very close, but he thought they were both over it. Bellamy kept listening as Clarke began to respond to Lexa. "I don't know, Heda. What are we living for?" Then silence, before Clarke started again. "I do love you, Lexa. It's just Bellamy, and -" Bellamy couldn't believe what he was hearing and seeing, though it played out in front of him. He was watching his worst nightmare unfold before him. The girls kept talking, comforting each other, but arguing at the same time. He looked away, not being able to watch Clarke betray him. When he turned to face the vent again, Clarke was staring at Lexa. Bellamy began to leave, but was drawn back to the scene when he saw the girls' lips touch. It had been Clarke initiating the kiss, too. As he watched in awe, he tried to be mad at her, but couldn't bring himself to be frustrated; he loved her, but couldn't have her. Though he was upset, there was no denying it - Lexa and Clarke had chemistry. It was true love. Why couldn't he and Clarke have that? That spark. Bel continued to watch the scene unfold, as the two locked lips a few more times before resuming their discussion. There was no doubt about it, Clarke was in love with Lexa.
Coming to terms with reality, and focusing on the present, Bellamy didn't stop running. His mind told him to run from danger, from Polis, but his heart said otherwise; he was running from love. From Clarke. From it all. He wasn't mad, angry, or frustrated - just devastated. She had used him as a placeholder, to fill the hole that Lexa had created. It didn't matter. None of it did. He and his people came first. Turning down another hallway and another flight of stairs, he found a window and slowed down, looking out over the city. He figured he had made it halfway down. Slowing to a fast jog, he took a right into the next corridor, running straight into Clarke and Lexa.