Chapter 9

Kicking against the wall opposite her feet, Lexa struggled to break free from her captor's hold, while simultaneously trying to avoid slitting her own throat - his hand was still over her mouth, and the knife was still at her throat. Vigorously shoving her way free from his grip, she slipped out of his grasp for a quick second, latching a hand onto the knife-bearing wrist. She twisted his arm around, causing the knife to fall from his hand to the floor. With her right hand, Lexa reached for the handle of her own sword, and with her left, the handle of the fallen knife. Now defenseless, her captor threw his arms around her waist, gaining control of the fight again. Lexa struggled against the weight of the man on top of her outstretched body, but continued to squirm underneath him. With her face to the ground, she couldn't try to stab him, or she might end up grazing her own body with the blade. Instead, she wriggled around enough so that she was on her side, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see where his hand met her waist. Seizing the opportunity, Lexa dove the knife into the back of his hand, causing him to groan and withdraw his hand. This allowed her to stand up, and regain control. His eyes glued to his bloody hand, her captor was now distracted. She could have easily killed him, but wanted to spare him for torture and questioning - he most likely had not been alone. Sword and knife at the ready, she stepped toward the hunched body.

Hearing Lexa move closer, he looked up at her, ashamed and outplayed. Turning the tables, Lexa moved even closer, and brought the tip of her sword to his face, letting the end pierce the underside of his chin slightly. In control, and very pissed off, she screamed at him. "How dare anyone-!" She was interrupted by a very confused Clarke, who had apparently been standing in the doorway.

"Bellamy!? What the fuck, Bel?"

"Clarke I-"

"Don't even start, Bel! There better be a goddamned good excuse for this one, or I'll be the one holding that sword to your throat!" Lexa looked frantically between the two, keeping the blade at his chin.

"Clarke, he tried to kill me. You know that if we don't kill him, they will." she motioned with the knife towards the rest of the building.

"I know, Lexa. I know." Clarke rested her head in her hand for a second, and looked back up at Lexa. "Just at least let me talk to him. Please?" Lexa nodded, but kept the knife where it was. Clarke moved towards Bellamy, shaking her head. "Are you seriously risking your life to get revenge on the one you thought you loved? Seriously?" She chuckled. "Bel, I knew you were low, but I would have never thought that you would drop to this level."

"Clarke this has nothing to do with any of that. Somewhere in that thick head, you know it's true. I didn't come here to get revenge, or even to try and kill her. I was just trying to quietly take her hostage. Don't exaggerate, princess." Clarke winced and gritted her teeth.

"Don't call me that." Watching Clarke's reaction, Lexa pushed the knife further into Bellamy's skin, drawing more blood.

"Lexa, please. I can explain." Bellamy's eyes flashed to Clarke. "Make her listen to me," he pleaded.

"Do you even deserve that much?" Clarke scoffed, but turned to Lexa anyway. "Lexa, please, don't kill him. I know why you are upset, but I need him alive." She paused, afraid to continue and admit to weakness. "But I need his help. I can't save us on my own."

Lexa contemplated ending it all before Clarke could even finish, but realized how much he meant to Clarke and her people. Jus drein jus daun, Lexa thought. No. Blood must not have blood. Clarke had taught her well. She retracted the sword, however kept it at the ready - he couldn't be trusted. "Fine," Lexa agreed. "But he will be kept here somewhere in Polis, locked up." She paused, but clarified further, "Somewhere that he can't escape." Lexa turned to Clarke. "Fair?" she inquired.

"Fair." Clarke nodded.

"Wait, wait, wait. I'm standing right here guys. Don't I have a say in -"

"Shut the fuck up." Clarke's voice was almost at a whisper, but it was strong, and it carried. She didn't have to look at him to know that he was ashamed. He knew his place, she just had to put him back in it. Lexa looked to Clarke, surprised at how upset she was.

"Then it's settled. But Clarke, this is only temporary. You know that if the rest of the council finds out about this, they'll have his head. I can't guarantee that there won't be -"

"They won't find out. We'll tell the rest of them that he was caught after escaping last time. They'll believe it." She moved closer to where Lexa and Bellamy were, taking the knife and sword from Lexa, and placed them back on top of the armoire, along with her own. Lexa felt unsafe without a weapon at hand, but the gentle way in which Clarke had taken the blades from her hands had let her know that it was safe to trust her this time. She looked back to Bellamy, then to Clarke, both of whom were staring intently into each other's eyes, as if to say 'How could you?'. Lexa saw this and moved back towards the bedroom.

"I'll give you two a moment." she said. Clarke nodded, averting her eyes from Bellamy's to meet with Lexa's. Seeing the worried look on Lexa's face, Clarke immediately began to comfort her.

"It will be okay. I'll be right there," she assured her. Lexa nodded slightly, and quietly walked back into her chambers, shutting the door behind her.

"Aren't you going to apologize?" Clarke started, crossing her arms.

"Apologize? How many normal people do you know that apologize after being cheated on?"

"Don't start with me asshole! That's not what this is about, Bellamy, and you know it! Who put you up to this?" She had a feeling that she already knew the answer.

"You know perfectly well who did. And it would have worked too." At this, Clarke laughed.

"Pathetic. Sent by Pike to kill the head of the grounder nation, and you fail. Tackled by a girl."

"Stop avoiding the problem, Clarke! She sent an army of three hundred men to march on our camp, to 'protect' the alliance? Bullshit!" His negative emphasis on the word "protect" upset Clarke even further.

"I'm not avoiding the problem! You are the problem! All of you! Lexa is trying to save our asses from the rest of the council, and none of you get it!? If it were up to any of her successors, or any of the other ambassadors, we would not be here. How can Pike not see that!?"

"You're right, Clarke. We wouldn't be here, arguing over this. We'd be back in Arcadia, on our own, away from all of this." He motioned toward the rest of the building and city.

"That is a lie that all of you choose to believe. You know perfectly well what I meant, Bellamy. We'd all be dead!"

"Maybe we would be, Clarke." He looked into her eyes, lowering his voice. "But at least I'd die knowing that the woman I love loved me back." A single tear welled in his eye, but he blinked it away. "But instead, I'm here, you're there, and they're all surrounded by her grounder army, so way to go, Clarke." She scoffed and shook her head, opening her mouth to argue, but he was already walking away.

He knocked on Lexa's door, and put his hands up, surrendering. Lexa opened the door, and upon seeing Bellamy, nodded her head. She worryingly looked past him, and her eyes met with Clarke's for a split second before Clarke averted her eyes, holding back tears. In her head, Clarke ran to Lexa, hugged her, cried in her arms. On the inside, Lexa held her, kissed her, and comforted her until she felt better. But on the outside, Clarke blinked twice to clear her watering eyes, held her head high, and walked past the two people she loved, remembering what Lexa had told her so many times before: Love is weakness, Clarke. Love is weakness.