Several weeks had gone by, and the well still showed no sign of opening up. Kagome had not brought up her sorrow in leaving behind her family again, though Inuyasha knew she was still upset. He suspected she didn't want to make him feel guilty by discussing it. But Inuyasha did feel guilty. He knew she had chosen to come live in his era on her own accord, but she wouldn't have come if it weren't for him. What was really eating away at Inuyasha was his guilt over his own desires. He knew she had moments of doubt and unhappiness in coming to the Sengoku Jidai, but he felt horrible that despite Kagome's unhappiness, he would still rather have her with him.
And yes, she hadn't mentioned missing her family, but she also hadn't mentioned the wedding.
He watched Kagome play with Sango and Miroku's twins. Sango was sitting beside him while she nursed her baby boy. Miroku was off somewhere, probably scamming some innocent villagers.
"She's wonderful with children, isn't she Inuyasha?" Sango said happily. "And it's lovely to have another pair of eyes on my kids."
"Yeah," Inuyasha agreed on both counts. There was a twinge of sadness in his reply, however. Sango picked up on it.
"What's wrong, Inuyasha?"
"Sango, I know that you two talk. Does Kagome seem… happy to you?"
Sango considered Inuyasha's question. "Yes," she replied with certainty. "She told me all about how much she missed us. Especially you. You're worried that she misses her era?"
Inuyasha nodded.
"Stop torturing yourself Inuyasha. She's here, she's happy, and you two are together. Why aren't you letting yourself enjoy it?"
Inuyasha took a moment to respond. "I just have a hard time relaxing, I guess. My whole life I've been an outcast, and then we had the constant threat of Naraku. The second he was gone, Kagome was thrust back into her own world. I spent three years convincing myself that I'd never see her again. There has always been something wrong. But now, everything is perfect. Well, almost perfect. I have trouble relaxing into it."
"I felt the same way when Miroku proposed, and then again when we were married. There was Naraku to worry about, and of course his womanizing. It was distressing to think that Naraku could kill us before we could marry. I mean, he almost did. And then after Naraku died, I was extra worried that Miroku would change his mind and run off with the first beautiful woman he saw. We've both overcome some difficult things, Inuyasha. I know that it sometimes can feel like the world might swallow us whole at any given moment. But let me ask you this: do you love Kagome?"
"Yes! Of course. More than anything, I think."
"Well, just focus on that. It's easy to get wrapped up in fears, but it's important that we don't let our fears detract from what we have."
Inuyasha relaxed a little. "Thank you, Sango."
"Anytime," she responded. "So, when are the two of you going to have children of your own?"
Inuyasha's face turned bright red, and Sango laughed. "Uh, we haven't talked about that at all!" He sputtered.
"Oh, but it's implied."
"Ugh. You've been spending too much time with your husband, Sango."
"Tell me about it."
Their conversation had him thinking though. It was time to make a change.
00000000000
After Kagome had finished playing and the couple had eaten dinner, he took her hand and said, "I want to show you something."
They walked hand-and-hand into the forest by the village, through the foliage and into a complicated forest path. Inuyasha placed Kagome on top of his back and ran a little deeper and off the trail. Finally, they reached a giant tree and Inuyasha jumped them up the branches to the top. There was a perfect branch that was thick enough to hold the two of them comfortably, and was placed perfectly underneath a clearing that gave a clear view of the night sky. The two were snuggled together on the branch.
"This is perfect, Inuyasha." Kagome said contentedly. "I could stay here forever."
Inuyasha kissed Kagome's neck. "Nothin' stopping us from staying here. No demons to chase or problems to fix."
"And no exams to study for!" Kagome exclaimed.
Inuyasha nodded in agreement. He had no idea what exactly "exams" were, but he did have a few memories of Kagome's panic over them.
"Did you ever think we'd get here, Inuyasha?"
"Up the tree?" He asked.
"No! By here I mean, like, in our own little happily ever after. We destroyed the Shikon Jewel, and Naraku, and now we're here together sitting under the night sky without a care in the world."
He considered her question. "Honestly, most of my life was pretty hopeless. I couldn't really afford to imagine that my life would turn out this good. When I was a kid, no way in hell did I think this would be my life. I was too busy chasing from humans and demons alike. It wasn't until I met Kikyou…" Inuyasha trailed off, knowing that Kagome was not a fan of when he mentioned her name.
"Go on, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha sighed. "It wasn't until I met Kikyou that I started hopin' that maybe my life wouldn't be so bad. But it didn't take too long before I was tricked and stuck to that damn tree. And then the Shikon Jewel was shattered by some idiot - " Inuyasha tickled Kagome's ribs, and she giggled in response, "- so I didn't have a whole lot of time to fantasize about… things like this. For a long time, I thought that becoming a full youkai would be my way of getting happiness. But I was completely wrong. If I'd become a full demon, even a tame one like my brother, then I'd still be alone. It wasn't 'til a little ways down the road that I could even dream that my life would become this good. Keh! And for three years there, I was almost certain that I wouldn't be able to have a happy ending. I was almost angry that I'd had the opportunity to meet you and hope in the first place. It made losing you that much more painful."
Kagome kissed him. "I'm here now. It was hard for me too."
"Was it?"
She smacked him lightly. "Are you kidding? Of course it was hard. This era became my home! It was nice that I got to finish high school and be with my family, but I couldn't ever forget about you Inuyasha. Even when I thought I'd never see you again. I wasn't sure if I'd ever find someone like you; I didn't want to. And now, thank the universe, I don't have to."
"Well, I knew I wouldn't find someone like you. I was trying to figure out how many centuries I'd have to wait to see you again. And I would've figured out how to see you again, somehow. Through a sleeping spell or finding the goddamn fountain of youth, I would've seen you again."
"I can always count on you, Inuyasha."
"And besides," he continued, "you would've needed me anyway! Some demon would've found his way to your time and attacked you. You would've definitely needed me to save you."
Inuyasha was kidding, but of course, Kagome was offended.
"HEY!" She shouted as Inuyasha chuckled. "I don't need any man to save me!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah! I can handle myself in any and all situations!"
"Even in the middle of a dark forest with a powerful demon inside of it?"
With that comment, Kagome jumped down the branches to the bottom of the tree. "Especially in the middle of a dark forest! But the jury is out on whether there's a powerful demon in it!" She called to him in a challenge.
Inuyasha chased after Kagome down the tree. She laughed as he pursued after her in a mock hunt. She dodged and darted, using the trees as a barrier. Of course, Inuyasha was much faster than his fiancé, so he caught her quickly. He tackled her and gently brought her to the ground. The two of them were giggling and making out like they were kids who had just fallen in love. In some ways, they were.
In between kisses, Inuyasha said, "I love you more than anything in this world, Kagome."
"And I you, Inuyasha."
He sighed, and abruptly asked, "Do you want children?"
She was slightly taken aback by the question, but by the way he asked her, it seemed like it was something that had been on his mind. "I've always wanted children!"
"…. Even mine?"
Kagome looked into those golden orbs and watched as tears started to pool. Inuyasha quickly turned away from her to hide his face and wipe away the tears.
"Hey," Kagome said. She wrapped him in her arms, acting as big spoon and squeezing him tight. Inuyasha had managed to get a hold of himself and hadn't let any tears escape from his eyes, but he was still feeling the emotions.
"What's wrong? And you don't need to hide yourself from me, Inuyasha."
"I just, I hate being weak!" He exclaimed.
"Do you think I'm weak when I cry?"
"No, but you're a woman! It's different!"
"No it's not! You know, in my era, it's normal for men to cry."
"Really?" Inuyasha asked.
"Well, no actually. But we're getting there. There's nothing inherently weak about showing emotion. Anyway, c'mon Inuyasha. Talk to me. I don't want you to feel ashamed about anything."
He sighed. "Kagome, you know I want you to be happy. But damnit, my childhood was hard. Wherever I went, no one would accept me. I don't want to give my kids the same fate."
"I understand, Inuyasha. But you're not alone, and people accept you now. I accept you."
Inuyasha turned to face his fiancée. He knew that. He kissed her deeply. All the sorrow and isolation he faced in his past was more than worth it, because it brought him to Kagome.
"You never answered my question about you wanting my kids."
"Baka! Of course I want your kids! I want only your kids. No one else's. They will be strong and wonderful and kind because they're yours."
"Any they'll be part youkai, part human, and they'll be ridiculed beyond belief."
"No, they will not!" Kagome argued, "Because they will have two parents who love them, in addition to Sango and Miroku and their children and Kaede and Jinenji and Kohaku and Rin and probably even Sesshoumaru. And if anyone has anything bad to say about our kids then you can just beat them up. Easy. But we will surround them with love."
"I bet my parents thought the same thing," Inuyasha mumbled.
"Your parents are not us, Inuyasha. We will stay alive for them. I've seen you survive a hand through your stomach! Maybe I won't make it, but you definitely will!"
"Keh! Don't talk like that. You'll make it. Of course you will! Because I'm gonna protect you, stupid!"
Kagome smiled. "Well, there we go. I'm not dying and you're not dying. It's settled."
"Fine."
"Fine."
The couple rolled onto their backs to gaze up into the night sky through the trees. Things might not be easy or perfect for their kids, but at least Inuyasha could be certain that they would have one hell of a mother to protect them. He reached for his fiancée's hand and squeezed it tight. Kagome squeezed back. Though he had so many fears, they all seemed miniscule compared to the love he felt for Kagome.
Sigh. This chapter was really hard for me to write. I was having bad writer's block for this story so I kind of had to force it out. I hate when that happens! But I needed this buffer chapter before I write the ending, which has been on my mind since I started this story!
Anyway, thanks to those of you who reviewed, followed and favourited this story. It means so much to me! See you in the final chapter!
