Getting Ready

Jess arrived to Luke's diner before Rory and Lorelai. The place was deserted – his uncle had served lunch early and had closed for New Year's Eve and Day. Luke greeted him with a big hug and motioned him to a carefully set table.

"This looks really formal, uncle Luke! What's the occasion?"

Luke gave him a genuine smile, no hint of teasing. "Just happy to have you all here. And I figured you young ones wouldn't be up to a boring New Year's Eve or Day, so it works as a casual holiday get together."

Jess patted his uncle on the shoulder. "I'm happy to be here, too." Luke gave him an understanding nod and went to the kitchen. "Do you need help there?"

"Nah, just checking up on the roast, have a sit."

Lorelai and Rory arrived then, and he suddenly regretted not having given the whole greeting thing a thought. He felt really self-conscious and freaked out a little bit – he had learnt with the years to manage his social anxieties, but it was sometimes hard still when all the looks were on him, especially Lorelai's. But she was very helpful – she gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek and went to say hello to Luke to the kitchen, and Jess took the chance to give Rory a quick peck on the lips that left her blushing. Lorelai came out and he noticed how she checked out her daughter swiftly before placing her attention on him.

"So, dear nephew! How is the New York office doing? Your uncle is mighty proud of you."

Jess was happy for Luke to be still in the kitchen, he probably would have been mortified, same as he was. "We can't complain, we're starting to receive more manuscripts than we can read in a year, so we're spoilt for choices – even if they're mostly crap."

"I'm very happy for you, kid. You did well by yourself."

Was that the Lorelai way of giving him her blessing? He looked at Rory, who has beaming. "Thanks, Lorelai. It means a lot."

"Go on, sit down you two! I'll go help the chef."

They both sat down facing each other, and Rory grinned. "Any pictures you care to share?"

Jess smirked. "I did take pictures for you, OK?" He had, there were actually very few things he wouldn't do for her. "But I cannot share them so easily. I should make them the reward for something special, because they are very special – they could erase a lifetime of work on my schtick."

"What do you want? Just ask, I'll do anything." He gave her a playful smile and she blushed while running her foot along his leg, whispering. "Anything."

Jess worried that he was the one blushing then, and couldn't help notice the knowing looks Luke and Lorelai threw at them when coming out with the food.

"Luke, that's a feast worthy of King's Landing!" Rory ogled the platter of roast pork. Lorelai followed with a baking dish with potatoes and vegetables that were golden brown.

"Thanks, Rory. I had been wanting to try some recipes for a while, figured you could be my Guinea pigs."

"Can I be your Chief Executive Guinea pig? I'll do it for free."

"That position, dear loinfruit, is unfortunately already taken, but you could gladly be my vice-president – someone needs to sample those vegetables."

"I'll take what I can get."

Lunch went smoothly – Lorelai focused her banter on the myriad awkward moments Luke had had with Emily while in Nantucket, and she didn't even hint at Jess and Rory's relationship, although it was clear she knew. Jess appreciated how genuinely relaxed Lorelai acted with him, and wondered if they would finally be able to get along with each other, and if she would be happy about what was happening between them. Everything suggested that things were falling into place for him and Rory. It all seemed almost too good to be true, and he feared for a moment that it was just on the surface that things appeared to go smoothly, as there still were major things to discuss and to confess. He needed to tell Rory what he was feeling as soon as possible. They had agreed to be open, after all. He loved her, and he should tell her, unlike the last time they dated, because there was not a single thing that Jess could share about him that was more important than that. Spending a month ignoring the fact that Rory was pregnant with Logan's baby, threading lightly so as not to scare each other away, hiding their true feelings, suddenly seemed like a waste. Jess looked at Rory for the first time since his thoughts had wandered and was surprised to see she was already checking him out with a concerned face, as if she knew that he was uneasy. He did the only thing he could do to reassure her in front of that audience – he gave her a soft smile and held her gaze, trying to convey that everything was fine, better than fine, actually, and it must have worked, because the frown lines disappeared from her face, and she reciprocated with a pleased grin. Their silent exchange was interrupted by Luke, who stood up.

"Just a quick toast to end the gathering. I'm really grateful to have had the chance to end the year with the people I'd like to share all the happiness I'm sure this new year will bring – my beloved wife, and you two, who are to me as my own son and daughter. May we all have a happy, cult-less, croc-less 2017."

Lorelai and Rory wiped each a tear. Social anxieties be damned – Jess stood up and hugged his uncle. Lorelai and Rory took turns to hug Luke as well, and then both Gilmore girls stood awkwardly in front of Jess.

"Don't be a stranger, Jess. We hope to see more of you around here. I feel we haven't really exploited all the ways to drive Taylor crazy with your presence."

"Promised, Lorelai." He took the initiative for once and hugged her first, but then froze when facing Rory.

"I think the girls will want to get ready for the evening, do you mind giving me a hand to close the diner, Jess?"

"Of course."

As soon as the words left his mouth he saw Rory's face and regretted agreeing, she seemed to be anxious to get some alone time before seeing each other that evening. She hugged him quickly and kissed him on the cheek, and then Lorelai and her left.

"Look at you, Jess! You're glowing. Don't tell me you still have no feelings for her."

"Gee, uncle Luke, you're a hawk."

Luke inspected Jess' face and then it dawned on him. "You're seeing each other!"

"I somehow knew the gossip hadn't reached you yet, I couldn't picture you setting this weird double date in a thousand years."

Luke fretted. "Did I just mess a date you had? I'm such a putz. You probably wanted to be alone but instead you've had to suffer the umpteenth Emily Gilmore-bashing-Luke anecdote. Go, I don't really need a hand."

"That's alright, Luke – we're spending New Year's Eve together."

Luke exhaled. "Well, I'm glad. So… you know?"

"About what?"

"Oh… about nothing, really."

Luke seemed worried about having said too much and Jess couldn't resist making his uncle suffer a bit. "Is it about Rory? Is everything OK?"

His uncle was having a really bad time. "Sure, everything's fine, why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know, she's been like super weird around food… did you know she eats vegetables willingly now? I've been wondering…"

"What? What do you think is the matter?"

It was too much fun to stop. "Call me crazy, but… I fear she's into that organic vegetable cult now. She won't stop prattling about eating clean and stuff, it's actually quite worrying…"

"Well… an apple a day is not such a bad thing, right?"

"Are you serious? This is a Gilmore we're talking about, this must be really serious. But don't worry, I have a plan for tonight – the biggest sushi and sashimi feast ever, drizzled with copious amounts of alcohol and cigars, something that reminds her how fun debauchery is. I think that should set her straight, what do you think?"

It was like watching someone trying to decide which wire to cut for defusing a bomb. "Are you sure? Perhaps it's best if you give her time to tell you herself whatever's going on…"

"Nah, and risk losing the Rory we know forever? I think this calls for a rash action. Bungee-jumping, even."

Luke seemed desperate. "Please, Jess, don't do it, just trust me on this one."

"But why? I think I like my plan, I should check if there are any bungee-jumping spots nearby. Or parachute jump venues."

"You're still an obstinate mule, did you know?"

Jess couldn't help it and bursted out laughing. "OK, OK, I'll stop – I know she's pregnant with Logan's baby, Luke."

Luke exhaled. "It's amazing how years pass and still you have the ability to make me want to throw you in the lake – in many lakes, actually. So, how do you feel about it?"

Jess tried to calm down before continuing, it was not a conversation he wanted to have while still laughing. "We're going to do this whether I like it or not, right?" His uncle nodded and Jess gave up any escape plans. "Well, it's complicated."

"Yeah, I can imagine. Still, you wouldn't date her if you knew it was going to be a problem down the way, right?"

"I know this will sound unbelievable, but it's not even my biggest concern."

"What is, then, Trump? Climate change? We're talking an innocent life here – what could be more important?"

"Well, finding out if Rory and I are suited for each other before committing to being a dad forever seems pretty important. These are not Victorian times, it's not like we're supposed to marry blindly and then stick to an unhappy relationship forever. I wouldn't want to mess with a kid's life only to disappear when shit hits the fan. I need to make sure, first."

"Fair enough, but you don't have much time to figure it out. What do you need to know?"

"I don't know… her feelings, for one? And then she's made some bad decisions these past years, I'm concerned about history repeating itself. And then perhaps we're not suited for each other. Perhaps she can't stand my reading up to late hours, or my coffee making skills, or whatever."

"Let's set the record clear, OK – do you love her?"

Jess exhaled. "Yes."

"These things you are telling me about suitability and what not are very well, very rational, but there's always a chance people will grow unsuited to each other with time. I mean that you could never ever know with 100% reliability that a relationship is not going to end up eventually. You seem to be suited now, you love her now – put in the effort and have a true relationship for once. It won't be pretty sometimes, and nothing is ever going to be totally perfect – but it would be real, which is, I assure you, much more rewarding. Accept it. And if you can't – move on, for real this time. Nobody would blame you, in your position."

Luke was right. He wondered if it was some sort of karmic joke that he, who had avoided having a stable partner over the years, should encounter, when the possibility for a real relationship came up, all the difficulties in the book. It was probably the biggest test he had ever faced in his life. "I'll think about everything, Luke. Can I stay upstairs until I leave later? I could use a shower and some time to think."

"Of course." He thanked his uncle with a nod and went to the stairs, but Luke stopped him. "What I did right there, Jess, was not because I think you're reckless, but just so you could talk about it with someone. I know you'll do the right thing."

"I know, Luke. It's just that there are many possible right paths at the moment, but just one heart to follow – but it's still hard to turn the mind off. Thanks for the pep talk, anyway."

Jess went upstairs and checked his phone. Rory had texted him to meet at the bridge at 7pm. He got in the shower and got ready for the most important conversation he would ever have.